Simple, but True — What Price Are You Willing to Pay in Your Divorce Action?

With rare exception, every potential divorce client asks me, “What’s it going to cost me?” It’s a fair question. The answer is simple, but not obvious:

If you settle everything early, even if that means allowing the other spouse to get the lion’s share of the disputed stuff (and by “disputed stuff” I mean to include child custody), then what you “lose” in assets, time with the children, and a less fully informed choice will likely be compensated for in the form of you not having crushing attorney’s fee and court costs debt. Settling early gives you about as much control over litigation costs as you can get, and by settling early you avoid the non-financial travails of protracted litigation (i.e., stress, worry, damage to reputation and private life, etc.).

If you litigate any and all issues (no matter how big or small), you will get a more detailed examination of the facts by the court. Attorney’s fees and other litigation costs (i.e., expert witnesses, private investigators, etc.) will be high, irrespective of how favorable the outcome of trial may have been for you. Win or lose, litigating will cost you a lot of money because litigating is by nature expensive. Litigation almost always means higher risks, but with higher risks come potentially bigger rewards.

Either way, you will pay a price. Interestingly, the price you pay with either option will usually be more or less the same. Even if you think you can take the middle ground (i.e., “Hey, I’ll hire an attorney to assist me in mediation and bypass court! The best of both worlds!” Well, maybe, but it’s also a jack of all trades, master of none situation too), the price is roughly the same. Some people prefer to save money over getting “what’s rightfully mine.” Others are willing to spend what it takes to ensure the important things (kids, retirement, family home) are preserved and protected. It rarely matters which choice you make, it’s gonna cost you. If it’s still not clear, here’s a quick analogy:

Say you want to drive a new, fast, dependable, luxurious, fuel efficient, and inexpensive sedan. Then here’s what you want: 2011 BMW M3. Cost: $58,800

“Wait,” you say, “$58,800 isn’t inexpensive. It’s too much.” Too much money, you mean? OK, if you want to spend less money, you can still get a new, fast, safe and dependable, luxurious, fuel efficient, but less expensive car: 2011 Infiniti G37. Cost: $38,600.

Now let’s compare the 2011 Infiniti G37 and the 2011 BMW M3:

(From: http://www.newcars.com/reviews/infiniti-g37-vs-bmw-m3-sedan.html)

	Infiniti G37	BMW M3
MSRP*	$35,800 – $44,150	$55,900
Invoice*	$33,075 – $40,767	$51,630
Average Price PaidCourtesy TrueCarTM	$33,924 – $41,650	$53,666
0 – 60 MPH	5.4 seconds	3.9 seconds

See, you pay the price (whether it’s monetary or in performance) one way or the other.

The BMW is faster, but less dependable and less fuel efficient, and it costs a lot more than than the Infiniti. But it’s a BMW, and all that that entails.

If you must have a BMW, you pay the price: not just a higher cost of purchase, but decreased fuel economy and a shorter warranty. But for that price you get the best handling, faster, more prestigious, and arguably more luxurious car. If you think it’s crazy to pay $20,000 extra for a BMW, fine, go ahead and get the G37, which is a fine choice. But it’s not the BMW, so don’t complain about that, don’t agonize over it. Accept the natural consequences and limitations of whatever choice you make.

If you save money, get better fuel economy, and a longer warranty by buying the Infiniti G37, you have your reward (and a very good reward at that), but don’t gripe about the fact that you didn’t get a BMW M3 for the $10,000 to $20,000 less you paid for Infiniti G37. The higher price (and the reasons for the higher price) is what makes the BMW the BMW.

It comes down to what you value more and what you are willing to do or not do to get what you value.

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