Avoid the 6 Biggest Divorce Mistakes
Divorce. It’s a word that certainly didn’t enter your mind on the day you said, “I do.”
Never in a million years did you think you’d be facing divorce—but here you are. It’s now a very real part of your life. Now is not the time to go it alone.
The overwhelming nature of divorce leads to six common, yet entirely avoidable, mistakes. These mistakes are far from inconsequential: They can lead to major legal, financial, and emotional mishaps with long-term effects. The authors present a solid approach—one they have been using successfully for ten years—to help you take charge of your divorce.
Throwing in the Towel:
I just want out, get this over with, worn down by the process.
Consequences: Years of constantly going back to court to try to remedy what went wrong in the first place- Housing, Child Support, Family Pets, Religion, Education, Car and Car Insurance, etc.
Taking on the “My Way or the Highway” Negotiating Style:
I don’t want to listen to you because I am right and there is nothing you can say to change my mind!
Consequences: Legal costs, negative court surprises, angrily bypass a good settlement. They don’t get what they really want or they get worn down and throw in the towel
Betting the Farm on Another Relationship:
My new boyfriend/husband will take care of me; I just want out so I don’t care about the support or the asset division.
Consequences: Making decisions which can have significant impact on future; counting on something which is not a sure thing and be a short-term fix.
Wanting Guarantees and Certainty:
I don’t understand whether this is a good settlement, or I can’t see the way forward with this settlement because it doesn’t contain guarantees.
Consequences: Offer could be reduced or withdrawn; the lawyer will do some arm-twisting; or the Judge decides based on statutes.
Forgetting who the decision-makers are:
My lawyer told me this is what I have to do; or everything will come out in front of the judge and he will make the decision.
Consequences: You may think that the lawyers and judges have the answers but only you know what is best for you and your family.
Not getting advice or assistance from enough sources.
I will just ask my friends who have been divorced or turn to my family for help; or just count on my lawyer.
Consequences: Each divorce is unique and other expertise and objectivity may be needed in addition to legal advice or taking your side.
*Used by permission from CDC Certified Divorce Coach® Pegotty Cooper and Randall R. Cooper