Wednesday, March 7, 2018
I recently saw this post on a child custody Facebook group:
If [fathers] want to piss and moan, and whine online about injustice and not being able to see their children, and inequality, that’s great. But don’t expect anything to change.
Because the one thing women do, and have always done that these sissy-ass men don’t do is they actually take action. They show the hell up. Women actually fight for their rights and they fight against your rights.
And those of us who have been working our asses off to improve things and make things better for them are getting to the point to where we are not going to do it anymore because it’s clear that we care more about their ability to see their children than they do.
End of rant.
To be sure, rarely will outworking the opposition make things worse than a slothful, apathetic approach, but claiming that mothers win custody battles solely (or even primarily) because they outwork the fathers is patently untrue.
The main reason mothers who don’t deserve to win child custody disputes often win them anyway (and to be clear, not every undeserving mother wins; sometimes justice is done) is because of a cultural bias in favor of mothers in child custody disputes. It’s as simple (and as obvious) as that. The idea that mothers take so much action or are so “tough” or “consistent” that they win custody by sheer force of grit and determination is bunk.
Of course there is a bias in favor of mothers in child custody disputes. But this bias is waning. As more women enter the workforce and achieve occupational and income parity with men, and as more men are able to work remotely from home, the old arguments about women being “born nurturers” and men being mere “breadwinners” are growing more and more invalid. Children of these kinds of parents are also becoming judges. If you are a fit parent and a father, you can “win” joint custody of your children (or retain the joint custody you already have and should never have taken away from you simply because you and your spouse are divorcing) IF you have the needed proof, the proper legal arguments, and a sympathetic commissioner and/or judge.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277