What are the biggest misconceptions about divorce?
It’s bad, sure, but it can’t be that bad.
THE TRUTH: It’s harder, more expensive, and takes longer than you imagine. Once you accept this, divorce will still be tough, but not as tough as it is for those who don’t go in inoculated and with their eyes open and their other senses sharp.
Divorce solves problems well.
THE TRUTH: While usually does solve many problems, it doesn’t very often solve them fully or satisfactorily. Kind of like an operate that saves your life, but leaves you weakened and in pain for a long while before you heal. Divorce is a as much a beginning as an end. Divorce solves some problems as it causes some new ones (not necessarily in a 1:1 ratio, thankfully).
All divorce lawyers are more or less the same and provide or less the same quality of service.
THE TRUTH: Most divorce lawyers are bottom feeders. I know. I’m a divorce lawyer, and while I love practicing divorce law, I’m embarrassed by the general competence and character of my fellow divorce lawyers. Most aren’t that smart, that industrious, or that scrupulous. There are excellent divorce lawyers out there, but you need to shop around hard and know how to spot talent, grit, and value to find a good divorce lawyer. It’s worth the effort. You have no idea.
Divorce is hopeless.
THE TRUTH: Miserable? For a good spell, yes, but not hopeless. This too shall pass. Heed the advice of a man who knew how to deal with adversity: “If you’re going through hell, keep going” (Winston Churchill). Get through divorce with patience and grace, and you’ll be able to face your Maker with a clear conscience (and that’s priceless). Finally, better advice applies better to divorce than “done is better than perfect.”
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