How to Avoid the Primrose Path in Divorce (if you have the will and the guts)
It’s getting harder to stay in contact with reality.
You have men who, as they look in the mirror, claim they are women.
Banks telling you debt buys happiness.
Weight Watchers telling you that you can eat what you want and still lose weight.
Politicians telling you . . . well, you get the idea.
Virtually everyone who wants your attention or support or money is trying to get it by manipulating your perceptions.
This is no accident.
Get them to believe it! It’s essentially downhill from there.
Divorce lawyers are, for the most part, already quite skilled at manipulation, so many of them (I’d even say most of them) have no qualms manipulating your perceptions to get you as a client.
Persuading the masses by manipulation and deceit is easier than selling honestly.
And while it is wrong to deceive people, if you are deceived it is primarily your fault.
Most of your perceptions cannot be manipulated, unless you allow it. How?
- Badges and “awards” that lawyers literally buy from vendors who are in the business of selling attorney’s fake awards and certifications
- Glowing reviews that are fake
- “Personal stories” of trial and triumph that are heavy on fiction and “my passion,” but light on fact and truth
- Promises that are technically not promises, so you can’t hold anyone to them
It’s easier for lawyers to sell the illusion than it is for them to be the genuine article. All it takes is people who would rather believe what they see and hear than research and analyze.
Some of the easiest ways to manipulate you are: play upon your fears, your anger/vengeance, your greed, your laziness, your vanity, and your ignorance. This is how many ambitious divorce attorneys now get clients. Sell what sells!
- Ignorance: “Free consultation!* Call me!”
- Fear: “Don’t lose your [children, house, retirement funds, etc.] in divorce! Call me!”
- Vengeance: “Make that S.O.B. pay for abusing you. Call me!”
- Greed: “Get all the money/Save all the money you want deserve. Call me!”
- Laziness: “Affordable. Call me!”
- Vanity: “We care. Call me!”
Suckers, being suckers, suck this stuff up. It feels so good, compared to reality. But just scratch the surface—if you dare—and it will reveal this stuff for the scam that it is.
The reality is that honesty doesn’t sell quickly, so in an age of information overload and short attention spans, few lawyers feel they can afford to be honest about what they sell.
But here’s the reality of hiring a divorce lawyer:
- Being told you need courage and patience doesn’t sell, but courage and patience are essential when you’re involved in a divorce case.
- Staying cool is hard, but the consequences of acting on anger and/or fear are harder.
- The lesson of greed is: pigs get fed, hogs get slaughtered.
- Be prepared to have your ego bruised almost to death in a divorce case. Your view of what’s fair will likely be very different from your judge’s view. If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.
- There’s no such thing as a free lunch. Garbage in, garbage out. You get what you pay for, period.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277