Why does my ex-husband believe I’m spending child support on myself?

Why does my ex-husband believe the child support he pays is used to pay for our vacation? That money doesn’t even pay 1/4 of our rent.

Two reasons: 1) because it’s possible (possible does not mean likely, just possible); and 2) because—assuming you are not mismanaging the child support money—he doesn’t trust you and/or because he likes to disparage you.

And it doesn’t matter whether he has any good reason to distrust and/or disparage you.

If he does not trust you, yet:

  • you are honest and being responsible with the child support money;
  • you ex-husband’s trust matters to you (i.e., if you believe that winning his trust will benefit you and/or the children and result in peace, more cooperation, etc.); and
  • his child support payment is less than a quarter of your rent,

then providing him with a verifiable accounting might cause the complaints and accusations to stop. He may feel better if you could show him that you spend the money wisely and for the kids’ benefit.

I know, I know, you may have no court-ordered or statutory obligation to account to him, but even if that’s true, it doesn’t mean you could not do so voluntarily, if you believe he’d accept an honest accounting and back off on the accusations as a result. If he’s the kind of ex-spouse who hurls accusations against you for sport, then an accounting would worse than a waste of time, as an accounting would only give him more fodder for future slanders.

Utah Family Law, LC | | 801-466-9277

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