What is the safest way to break up with an abusive partner? I heard many horror stories and afraid I might be next.
While there is no one “proper” way to break up with an What is the safest way to break up with an abusive partner,
Robert McQueeney’s answer on this thread is a good one:
The safest way? When the opportunity presents itself, never put material belongings over your life. Just leave. Don’t waste time packing everything, just take what you need and go, immediately. Grab any important papers, of course.
Ghost your way out of there. Change jobs, change locations, shucks, change states if you have to. Change your phone, ghost your way out of any social media.
Don’t say anything to him, get real devious with your life, it may well depend on it. Don’t try to get any satisfaction of telling your partner to their face that you are out of there. Just leave and do it quickly and expediently.
Furthermore, I’d add two things:
- Don’t expect the legal system to be much, if any, help to you in the process. The legal system was not designed to help you in this situation as well and as fast as you can help yourself. Don’t try to vindicate yourself through the legal system. Work out your problems without involving the legal system any more than you must. It’s slow, expensive, and not consistently fair. Don’t break the law, but don’t expect the legal system to help you. Help yourself.
- Be prepared to pay the costs associated with breaking free. You may have to leave personal property behind because it may prove too hard to slip away with the stuff that’s rightfully yours. If you have to change your job and residence, you may take a hit on your pay and end up in crappier lodgings as you re-build. Understand that this is for most the cost of freedom and peace of mind—and that’s worth the cost.
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