Why do some narcissist men not want a woman who works and try to keep her from working?

The answer to your question lies, in part, in the question itself.

The dictionary defines narcissism as “selfishness, involving a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration, as characterizing a personality type.” So narcissistic men who want to prevent women from working may do so for at least a few reasons. One, to ensure that the woman waits on him hand and foot. Two, so that the woman will be depended upon him as the sole breadwinner in the family, and therefore obligated to admire and praise him. Three, so that the man can feel superior to the woman.

With all that said, however, I must note that there is no shame in a woman choosing to be a homemaker and full-time caregiver to a couple’s children. And there are many men, I being one of them, who believe that children are given the best care and best shot at healthy, normal, and successful development when they have a full-time caregiver from birth until they mature to adulthood at 18 and they graduate from high school. This does not make me a narcissist if I am the one who works outside the home and my wife stays home with the children. This is something that both husband and wife have to agree upon and choose to do together. The fact that I would be the primary breadwinner, or the only breadwinner, would not make me superior to my wife and the mother of my children in any way. Indeed, when a woman who has talent that could be harnessed and cultivated in the workforce, her decision to forego or postpone “worldly success” for being a mother and caregiver to her children it’s a sacrifice that demands both her husband’s and society’s admiration and appreciation.

My wife, with the eternal gratitude of her husband and her four children, made such a choice and such a sacrifice. But this does not mean that the sacrifice is absolute. After our youngest child was old enough to fend for himself, my wife went back to school and got her masters degree. This year she will start in her new job as a special education teacher.

Utah Family Law, LC | | 801-466-9277

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