What does it take to get the court to award custody to the father?
A) a miracle
B) the mother has to be so clearly an unfit parent that the court cannot both i) award her custody and ii) be taken seriously.
Now first, I exaggerate, but only a bit.
While fathers are being increasingly (albeit slowly) treated more fairly in child custody awards, there is an obvious bias against awarding fathers sole, much less joint, physical custody of children. Culturally, the courts (and society at large) has been duped into believing that mothers “make better parents.” Courts frequently cite to the fact that the mother was “the primary caregiver” as a reason for awarding custody solely or primarily to mothers. That might actually be a valid argument if a child is a nursing infant dependent upon a parent for 24/7 care. Yet even when the children are in school and Mom now has a job, the “mom was the primary caregiver” argument is often made. That’s silly and grossly unfair to fathers and children alike. That’s like saying Kareem Abdul Jabar should be paid tens of millions of dollars to play in the NBA again because he was such a great player before he turned 73 years old.
Second, no parent—whether father or mother—should seek sole legal or physical custody of children if both parents are at least minimally fit and their geographic proximity, job schedules, and other such material factors enable them to exercise joint physical and legal custody of the the children. The children love both of their parents and want to spend as much time as possible with each of them. Unless joint physical custody is a practicable impossibility, the “best parent” is both parents.
“We cannot expect men to be active, engaged fathers when they have been told since birth that they are the lesser parent, that they should defer to the mothers, and that once they no longer live in the same home as their children, they are relegated to a visitor and a paycheck.”
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277