Being prepared for the parent who tries to interfere with vacations with your kids
Hi Eric,
Every year I take the kids on a spring break trip, sometimes out of the country. It’s been on the calendar for a while. I’ve done everything the law requires me to do to ensure my ex has notice and all the information in the event of an emergency. My ex knows all about it and has all the details of when we’re scheduled to leave, where we’ll be going and staying, and when we’ll be back.
But here’s the problem: my ex uses this information against me. My ex comes up with fake “concerns” over COVID, as if taking a trip is any more dangerous than just going about normal life here. My ex is now telling me that I “can’t” take the kids on the annual spring break trip, even though there is no law or court order that prevents me from going to where I’ve scheduled to go.
Can my ex refuse to cooperate and keep the kids from me to prevent us from going on our spring break trip? Is there anything I can do keep my ex from sabotaging my plans and the vacation with the kids?
Good questions. And this kind of thing happens a lot to a lot of people.
Practically speaking (and as you no doubt have already experienced), your ex can sabotage plans. How? By denying that’s what your ex is doing, then begging forgiveness and coming up with fake, but plausible-sounding excuses afterward. By that time, the vacation is ruined and having the court wag its finger at your ex is cold comfort.
But there are proactive steps you can and that I think you should take now to ensure your ex complies with the court’s orders, whether voluntarily or not. I would send my ex this email and text message and then do what I warn my ex I’ll do if my ex does not comply with court orders and tries to sabotage your vacation with your kids:
Dear Ex,
Here are my spring break plans (which I have shared with you previously but that I share again in this email for the sake of easy reference):
Utah Code § 30-3-36(2).
(a) an itinerary of travel dates;
(b) destinations;
(c) places where the child or traveling parent can be reached; and
(d) the name and telephone number of an available third person who would be knowledgeable of the children’s location.
I need you to confirm, in writing, within the next 48 hours, that you will comply with the court’s orders regarding spring break parent-time and with my specific spring break 2021 parent-time plans.
If you do not confirm within 48 hours that you will comply with the court’s orders regarding spring break parent-time and with my specific spring break 2021 parent-time plans, I will take your failure to confirm as a refusal to confirm and comply, and I will file a motion for a writ of assistance to compel your compliance with my spring break 2021 parent-time plans.
Do you have any questions?
Sincerely,
____________________
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277