As a child with divorced parents, I find it hard to answer questions such as, “What is the importance of marriage?” How can I better understand the importance of marriage?
Being a divorced parent does make it harder to make a strong case for marriage. You are afraid to look hypocritical and not credible. Fortunately, you are not alone in your predicament.
- Ex-con parents have the same problem when advising their children to obey the law. That doesn’t make the advice wrong.
- Fat, out of shape parents have the same problem when advising their children to exercise and stay fit. That doesn’t make the advice wrong.
- High school dropout parents have the same problem when advising their children to get a good education. That doesn’t make the advice wrong.
Although telling children to “do as I say, not as I do,” is a hard sell, there is an obvious silver lining to encouraging children to differently than you did: “Kid, you don’t need to end up like me. Learn from my example not to do as I did.” That’s authentic. That has real value. Vicarious learning is learning from the experience of others. Everyone can benefit from vicarious learning, whether it’s learning how to succeed by repeating what successful people do (and don’t do) or how to succeed by avoiding the mistakes and wrong decisions of those who failed.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277