Many unhappy couples rush into divorce, but is it a wise course?

Clearly, acting in haste is risky behavior in any situation. Deciding to divorce is no exception. Rushing into divorce could result in an unnecessary divorce. Rushing into divorce could show your hand too early and result in losing on certain issues on which you might otherwise have won had you just been more careful and contemplative before you acted. 

Many people rush into divorce because they believe that it is better to act on the impulse rather than “chicken out”. There is, however, a clear difference between failing to act because of fear (that’s chickening out) and going off half-cocked. 

Procrastination often does hurt people who would have benefited from filing for divorce sooner than later. Many people who can and should divorce do not divorce by allowing fear and uncertainty cloud their judgment. While you shouldn’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today, few people benefit from filing for divorce the moment they have the idea. There are so many advantages to preparing in advance that are lost or just not possible if you rush into a divorce without knowing your objectives and having a plan* in place first. The point is to take action when action is warranted. You won’t know that without first taking sufficient time to take stock of your situation, consider your options, weigh the pros and cons, and then act. Divorce is rarely a decision to take lightly. 

One of the best ways to help you determine whether you should file for divorce, and whether you should file now or later, is to seek the opinions of professionals in the areas of family and law. Initial consultations with a good marriage and family therapist and a good divorce lawyer don’t cost a lot, and their value far outweighs the financial outlay. Find out if your marriage is salvageable and worth saving. Find out if the problem with your marriage and family is you. If you determine that divorce is what you need (as opposed to want) to do, talk to a good divorce lawyer about what you can expect to receive (and not receive) in a divorce, what the divorce laws are in your jurisdiction, and how the process works (they not what you think, I’ll guarantee you that). 

Whenever you can, you should make an informed decision. Deciding to divorce is no exception. 


* Bear in mind that while things rarely go according to plan, “In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower 

“No plan of operations can with any certainty reach beyond the first encounter with the enemy.” – Helmet Von Moltke 

Then why prepare plans when they rarely work out as imagined and hoped? Because planning still helps you, even when your plan is not a complete success or even when it is a total failure. Why? How? Planning and the resulting plans help you determine what matters to you most and what you are can do and are willing to do (or not do) to achieve those ends. Planning helps you think in both the short- and long-term about what choices you make and what their consequences could be to you. The more you know what really matters and what you really need and want, plans reflect that. So when circumstances change, your plans change not reactively but deliberately and correctly in the service of your goals. 

Utah Family Law, LC | | 801-466-9277  

(81) Eric Johnson’s answer to Many unhappy couples rush into divorce, but is it a wise course? – Quora 


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