What are some ways to make the divorce rate drop?
First, some marriages need to end in divorce. That is why divorce exists. But divorce is not always the answer when one or both spouses is/are miserable. Far too many divorces are not only unnecessary, but take things from bad to worse. For those marriages that need not end in divorce, teach and exemplify:
- belief in God;
- trust—humbly—in God;
- that God’s plan for His children includes marriage and family (so He will help you when you and your spouse turn to Him for guidance and strength to overcome);
- love for and service to God;
- Loving and serving God leads us to loving and serving others (especially your spouse and children). Loving and serving others leads us to love and to serve God. You cannot sustainably have one without the other;
- Go to church together and with your children. Associate with other families and learn from and support each other. It’s soothing and encouraging to see you’re not alone in the struggles couples and families face. It’s good to have others in your community to whom you can turn for support in good times and bad.
- mercy and forgiveness for human faults and frailties;
- Don’t demand perfection from your spouse or yourself—that’s impossible—but strive to be your best. Don’t exploit your spouse.
- This does not mean that wrongs go unpunished and unrestituted, but it does mean that “the punishment fit the crime,” as the saying goes;
- This does not mean that punishment be “curative”; See C.S. Lewis’s “The Humanitarian Theory of Punishment”
- specifically in marriage and family:
- Marriage and family is a major purpose of our lives—it’s part of God’s plan for each of us;
- Marry because you want “us” to be happy, supported, and fulfilled together. If you marry merely for “what’s in it for me,” you’re not ready or worthy to marry;
- Being equals in marriage does not mean that you and your spouse are the same in every respect. Accept it. Adapt to it. Celebrate it. Don’t forget it.
- Be honest in your dealings with your spouse and worthy of trust.
- Accept that certain aspects of a good married life and of single life are incompatible, so those aspects of single life must be left behind and replaced to serve your role as a spouse and parent;
- Accept the bitter aspects of married and family life with the sweet;
- “Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed.” — Gordon B. Hinckley
- Learn to make the compromises in your habits and lifestyle that marriage requires.
- Don’t die on the hill of whose responsibility it is to take out the trash, whether “breakfast for dinner” is untenable, etc. Go to movies and restaurants you don’t like sometimes, if going is something your spouse enjoys (he/she needs to make the same accommodations for you too).
- It will seem as though you are “making sacrifices” when in reality you are continuing to grow and mature as a person. You are developing dormant talents and new skills that a successful marriage needs to thrive.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277
https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-ways-to-make-the-divorce-rate-drop/answer/Eric-Johnson-311
Tags: father, God, husband, institution, law, marriage, mother, parents, preservation, spouse, wife