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Category: Grounds for Divorce

46% of divorced couples say this was the No. 1 conflict in their relationship—and it isn’t money

From cnbc.com:

46% of divorced couples say this was the No. 1 conflict in their relationship—and it isn’t money

(Published Tuesday, August 15, 2023 2:23 PM EDT; Updated Tue, August 15, 2023 8:23 PM EDT)

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Divorce and Social Media By Braxton Mounteer

Most people fundamentally misunderstand what the Internet and social media are. Many believe that social media is a web of interconnections where you can send and receive updates about your life or the lives of people you are involved in with those who are connected to you. This is completely true, but not truly complete. Social media is like what happens when groups of people chat around campfires in the dark in close proximity to each other. The sound travels. Every other group can hear what you and your friends are discussing around your campfire. So can the things hiding in the woods.

Another thing that people misunderstand is that what is posted on social media is a nearly permanent record. Every post you make might as well be etched into stone. There will almost always be a record of it somewhere, whether you delete it from your personal account.

What does this have to do with divorce? Your social media activity isn’t a tiny echo chamber of your inner circle or your personal diary. You aren’t screaming into the void. If you air your dirty laundry on social media, there will likely be a permanent record of it, and—for anyone who tries hard enough—for prying eyes and ears to access.

What you do and say online can be used against you. And it likely will be used against you.

You would be best served by keeping your online “mouth” shut. Keep your social media “business as usual,” post the updates about your children’s milestones and major life achievements that you normally would. Post the funny meme. But don’t bash your spouse online. Don’t pour your heart out about your personal vices and demons online. Don’t discuss your divorce or subjects that can affect your divorce online. Some things are better left unsaid.

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Evidence and Honesty By Braxton Mounteer

You have just decided to file for divorce. Or perhaps you have been served with divorce papers. At some point early on in the process you will likely think to yourself, “I have so many text messages that clearly prove my spouse is terrible,” or “I have videos of my spouse behaving badly.” You could be right. But do you know what kind of evidence is relevant and that the court finds persuasive? And have you considered the implications of what your “evidence” actually says about you? For every gotcha text message or video you have, does your spouse have similar dirt on you?

You may think to yourself, “I’ll just delete the messages that cast me in a bad light,” or “I’ll edit the videos a certain way to make myself look better” and engage in other cherry picking. This rarely works. Indeed, it often backfires. Manipulating the facts is a form of lying. And it’s not that hard to spot or expose.

Understand what kinds of evidence the court needs and what is useless to a court. The court’s jobs are clearcut: 1) end the marriage 2) divide the marital assets, 3) divide responsibility for marital debts, 4) deal with custody of the children (if any), parent-time, and child support, and 4) determine whether to award alimony, and if so, how much and for how long based upon the recipient’s need and the payor’s ability to pay. That’s it. It is not the purpose of the divorce court to settle scores between you and your spouse or to declare who’s worse than the other. While spousal or child abuse can be relevant in a divorce case, stories about shouting matches and squabbles are nothing new or compelling in a divorce case.

Take a businesslike approach to your divorce case. You have to work out your feelings in a divorce case, just not in court. Don’t dwell on your feelings too much when dealing with the court; it’s a waste of your time and energy.

What should you do, then? You need to face the truth and deal with the truth. Submit the relevant evidence and concede your flaws and faults along with it. Your credibility is more important than trying to put up a false front. Your credibility is easier to show and maintain when you’re honest. Courts are more sympathetic with honest people than with liars.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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U.S. Marriage and Divorce Statistics

My name is Stephanie from flingorlove.com and honestly, I usually wouldn’t bother emailing about this, but I researched and gathered as much data and stats as I could about various divorce statistics and put it all together in a massive blog post (84 stats to be precise).

This is it here: https://flingorlove.com/divorce-statistics/

I thought it might be useful to you and your readers as a reference in your blog.

Stephanie

https://flingorlove.com/

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Nix v. Nix – 2022 UT App 83- insufficient evidence of adultery

2022 UT App 83

THE UTAH COURT OF APPEALS

JILL NIX,

Appellee,

v.

ROLAND COMPTON NIX JR.,

Appellant.

Opinion

No. 20200691-CA

Filed June 30, 2022

Fourth District Court, Provo Department

The Honorable Darold J. McDade

No. 174402122

Seth D. Needs, Attorney for Appellant

D. Grant Dickinson, Attorney for Appellee

JUDGE RYAN D. TENNEY authored this Opinion, in which JUDGES MICHELE M. CHRISTIANSEN FORSTER and JILL M. POHLMAN concurred.

TENNEY, Judge:

¶1        Under the Utah Code, there are ten “[g]rounds for divorce,” one of which is “adultery committed by the respondent subsequent to marriage.” Utah Code Ann. § 30-3-1(3)(b) (LexisNexis 2019). Interpreting this provision, our supreme court has held that evidence of adultery “subsequent to the filing of a divorce complaint is inadmissible for the purpose of establishing grounds for divorce,” though it can be “admissible as lending weight to and corroborating testimony as to prior acts” of infidelity. Vrontikis v. Vrontikis, 358 P.2d 632, 632 (Utah 1961).

¶2        When Jill Nix filed for divorce from Roland Nix Jr., she alleged “adultery committed by Roland during the marriage” as one of “the grounds for dissolution of this marriage.” During his subsequent deposition, Roland declined to answer a question from Jill’s attorney about whether he’d had extramarital sexual relations “since the marriage.” The district court later concluded that this non-response constituted an adoptive admission that Roland had committed adultery before Jill filed for divorce. Based on this conclusion, the court awarded Jill a divorce on the ground of adultery.

¶3        Roland now appeals that decision. As explained below, we agree that Roland’s non-response did not provide sufficient evidence to establish that Roland committed adultery before Jill filed her divorce petition. We accordingly reverse.

BACKGROUND[1]

¶4        Jill filed for divorce from Roland in August 2017. In her petition, Jill asserted two “grounds for dissolution of [the] marriage,” one of which was “adultery committed by Roland during the marriage.” Jill also asserted cruelty as an alternative ground for divorce. But that alternative ground was not further litigated below, the district court never ruled on it, and neither party has raised any issue about it on appeal.

¶5        In his answer, Roland “denie[d]” Jill’s “[g]rounds.” But Roland did not want the marriage to continue, so he counter-petitioned for divorce on the ground of irreconcilable differences.

¶6        Roland was later deposed. During his deposition, the following exchange occurred between Jill’s counsel, Roland, and Roland’s counsel:

[Jill’s counsel:] Have you had any sexual relations with someone other than Jill since the marriage?

[Roland:] It is none of your business.

[Jill’s counsel:] Counsel I am entitled to know.

[Roland’s counsel:] I question the relevance. I don’t think that adultery or anything has been alleged in the pleadings.

. . . .

[Roland:] We are separated and that is none of their business.

. . . . [brief break taken by the parties]

[Jill’s counsel:] We left on the question of adultery. Mr. Nix what is your response?

After another objection and then more discussion between counsel, Roland made a somewhat vague reference to a woman with whom he’d apparently had some type of relationship. A short time later, Roland was asked, “And have you engaged in sexual relations with this person?” Roland answered, “Yes.”

¶7        Roland and Jill eventually settled most aspects of their divorce. But when they weren’t able to agree on the ground for divorce, Jill’s counsel requested a trial on that issue. At a scheduling conference, however, the parties and the court agreed on an alternative procedure under which the parties would submit memoranda about the ground for divorce, after which the court would hear oral argument on the matter.

¶8        In her memorandum, Jill pointed to Roland’s non-response to the deposition question of whether he’d “had any sexual relations with someone other than Jill since the marriage.” From this, Jill asked the court to draw “an adverse inference” that Roland had “committed adultery subsequent to the marriage.” In addition, Jill pointed to Roland’s express admission that he’d “engaged in sexual relations with this person.”

¶9        In his responsive memorandum, Roland asked the court to deny Jill’s request for an adultery-based divorce. Roland asserted that under Vrontikis v. Vrontikis, 358 P.2d 632 (Utah 1961), any adultery that he had committed after Jill filed for divorce could not constitute a ground for divorce. And Roland then argued that Jill had offered no evidence that he had “committed adultery prior to her filing for divorce.”

¶10      After briefing and then a hearing, the district court issued a written decision. There, the court agreed that under Vrontikis, “adulterous conduct subsequent to a divorce petition does not constitute fault,” but that “evidence of such conduct can be used to lend weight” to other evidence that the party had “committed adultery prior to the divorce petition.” (Emphases omitted.) The court then concluded that although Roland had expressly admitted to adultery in his deposition, this express admission had only been to “adultery subsequent to the divorce petition, but prior to divorce finalization.”[2]

¶11 Given its understanding of Vrontikis, the court next considered whether there was any evidence of pre-filing adultery. The court concluded that there was. In the court’s view, Roland’s non-response to the deposition question about whether he’d had sexual relations “since the marriage” qualified as an adoptive admission under rule 801(d)(2)(B) of the Utah Rules of Evidence. Notably, the court not only regarded this as proof “that Roland did commit adultery,” but also as proof “that Roland’s adultery caused the divorce,” i.e., proof that the adultery happened pre-filing. Thus, the court concluded that even if “Roland’s express admission [was] not, stand[ing] alone, a grounds for fault, the adoptive admission satisfie[d] Jill’s burden to show that Roland’s adultery caused the divorce.” Based on this, the court later “awarded Jill a decree of divorce on the grounds of adultery.”

¶12 Roland subsequently filed a motion under rule 59 of the Utah Rules of Civil Procedure “for [a] new trial or for an alteration of judgment on the issue of grounds for divorce.” Roland challenged the district court’s ruling on several fronts, including procedural fairness, incorrect application of the adoptive admission standard, and insufficiency of the evidence. After Jill opposed the motion, the court denied it. Roland timely appealed.

ISSUE AND STANDARD OF REVIEW

¶13      Roland challenges the district court’s denial of his rule 59 motion. As he did below, Roland assails this ruling for several reasons. We need address only one of them: Roland’s contention that there was insufficient evidence to support the court’s determination that he committed adultery before Jill filed for divorce.

¶14      A district court ordinarily has “some discretion in deciding whether or not to grant a new trial.” Hansen v. Stewart, 761 P.2d 14, 17 (Utah 1988). But because Roland’s “challenge rests on a claim of insufficiency of the evidence, we will reverse only if, viewing the evidence in the light most favorable to the prevailing party, the evidence is insufficient to support the verdict.” In re Estate of Anderson, 2016 UT App 179, ¶ 7, 381 P.3d 1179 (quotation simplified); accord Hansen, 761 P.2d at 17.

ANALYSIS

¶15      The district court determined that Roland had committed adultery before Jill filed for divorce. It based this determination on Roland’s non-response to a question about this subject in his deposition, which the court regarded as an adoptive admission of pre-filing adultery.

¶16      On appeal, Roland first argues that the district court erred in concluding that his non-response qualified as an adoptive admission. But we need not decide whether this was so. Even assuming for the sake of argument that the non-response did qualify as an adoptive admission, the court was still required to point to some evidence that Roland had committed adultery before Jill filed for divorce. See Vrontikis v. Vrontikis, 358 P.2d 632, 632 (Utah 1961) (holding that evidence of adultery “subsequent to the filing of a divorce complaint is inadmissible for the purpose of establishing grounds for divorce,” though it can be “admissible as lending weight to and corroborating testimony as to prior acts” of infidelity).

¶17      Roland argues that there was no such evidence. Of note, Roland points out that, in the deposition exchange at issue, he “was never specifically asked whether he had had sexual relations with someone other than Jill since the marriage, but prior to the filing of the petition for divorce.” Having reviewed the portion of the deposition that is in the record, we agree. While Jill’s counsel asked Roland whether he had engaged in extramarital sexual relations, Jill’s counsel never asked Roland when he had done so. As a result, with respect to the critical issue of timing, the question and non-answer that supported the court’s adoptive-admission determination were silent.

¶18 Jill nevertheless points to Roland’s express admission of adultery. But on this, the district court only found that Roland had expressly admitted to postfiling adultery, and Jill has not challenged the court’s temporal limitation of its own finding on appeal. In any event, we’ve reviewed the exchange ourselves. We see nothing in it in which Roland said that his extramarital conduct was limited to post-filing behavior, but we also see nothing in it in which he admitted to any pre-filing conduct. Instead, as with the (alleged) adoptive admission, the timing of Roland’s behavior simply never came up.

¶19      This same defect exists with respect to the small amount of other evidence that Jill provided below to inferentially support her claims about Roland’s adultery. For example, Jill provided the court with a check that Roland had given her for alimony. This check was embossed with a picture of Roland and another woman, and in the identification block in the upper corner, it identified the other woman’s last name as “Nix.” Even accepting Jill’s contention that this could inferentially show that there was a sexual relationship between Roland and the other woman, what matters here is that the check was dated September 2019—which was after Jill had filed for divorce.

¶20      This leaves us with Jill’s final argument, which is to rely heavily on the favorable standard of review. Because Roland challenges the district court’s ruling on sufficiency grounds, we’re required to view the evidence in the light most favorable to the district court’s determination. But Roland’s argument presents us with a “no evidence” challenge—i.e., he argues that “even with the evidence in the record, nothing would demonstrate that . . . Roland committed adultery prior to the filing of the Petition for Divorce.” And to defeat such a claim, Jill “need only point to a scintilla of credible evidence from the record that supports the finding of fact in order to overcome [Roland’s] ‘no evidence’ assertion.” Wilson Supply, Inc. v. Fraden Mfg. Corp., 2002 UT 94, ¶ 22, 54 P.3d 1177.

¶21 She hasn’t. Even on such a review, there must be some evidence to support the determination in question. As we have explained in another context, a “reviewing court will stretch the evidentiary fabric as far as it will go,” but “this does not mean that the court can take a speculative leap across a remaining gap in order to sustain a verdict.” State v. Pullman, 2013 UT App 168, ¶ 14, 306 P.3d 827 (quotation simplified). Here, the evidence demonstrates that Roland engaged in sexual activity with another woman before his divorce was finalized. After all, he expressly admitted as much. But Vrontikis requires evidence of adultery at a particular time—namely, before the petitioner filed for divorce. Jill points to no evidence, and we see none, that even inferentially says anything about when Roland engaged in extramarital sexual activity. Without such evidence, the district court’s finding that Roland had engaged in pre-filing extramarital sexual relations cannot stand. We accordingly reverse for insufficient evidence.[3]

CONCLUSION

¶22 There was insufficient evidence to support the district court’s determination that Roland committed adultery before Jill filed for divorce. We accordingly reverse that decision and remand this case for further proceedings consistent with this opinion.[4]


[1] Because the parties share the same last name, we’ll follow our normal practice and refer to them by their first names, with no disrespect intended by the apparent informality. Also, for purposes of consistency and readability, we’ll use the parties’ first names (and corresponding pronouns) when quoting references to them from the record or the briefing, and we’ll do so without using brackets to note any such alterations.

[2] We note that Roland did not actually draw this chronological line in the portion of the deposition in which he made his express admission. But neither party has challenged the court’s determination that the express admission was only to post-filing adulterous conduct.

[3] Our determination leaves a potential wrinkle about what should happen next. At the close of his brief, Roland asks us to not only reverse on insufficiency grounds, but also to “alter the Ruling” ourselves to grant him a divorce on “the grounds of irreconcilable differences.” Roland provides us with no authority that establishes our ability to modify an order in this manner, however, so this request is inadequately briefed. Moreover, Jill petitioned for divorce on an alternative ground, but neither party on appeal has competently briefed the question of whether Jill would be entitled to continue litigating that ground if we reverse the district court’s adultery-based decree. Without such briefing, we decline to decide the question in the first instance.

[4] Jill has asked for her attorney fees on appeal. See Utah R. App. P. 24(a)(9). Because she is not the prevailing party in this appeal, we deny her request.

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What are the grounds for filing for a divorce in Utah?

First, you need to understand that Utah, like every other state in the U.S. has what are known as a “no-fault divorce law”. No-fault divorce means that you don’t have to plead or show that your spouse committed any kind of marital “fault” to obtain a divorce. Previous to the creation of no-fault divorce laws, you could not get a divorce unless you could prove your spouse had committed one or more of the recognized faults constituting grounds for divorce.  

Utah’s no-fault ground for divorce is the “irreconcilable differences of the marriage” basis (Utah Code § 30-3-1(h)). If you assert irreconcilable differences as your ground for divorce, you do not have to prove any kind of fault to obtain a divorce on that ground. Because it doesn’t matter whether your spouse wants a divorce too– you can prove that there are irreconcilable differences of the marriage by simply saying that you subjectively feel that there are irreconcilable differences. Sometimes a court might ask you to explain in more detail what the irreconcilable differences in your marriage are, but courts will accept something as simple and ambiguous statements like “we are not compatible anymore” or “our differences prevent the marriage from continuing” or “our differences have rendered the marriage unsalvageable”.  

Fault-based grounds for divorce still exist, which means that one can still assert one or more of these faults as grounds for divorce, but it’s not necessary to assert fault-based grounds to obtain a divorce. 

I have provided for you below Section 30-3-1 of the Utah Code, which articulates both the no-fault ground and all the other legally recognized grounds for divorce in Utah. 

Utah Code § 30-3-1.  Procedure — Residence — Grounds. 

(1) Proceedings in divorce are commenced and conducted as provided by law for proceedings in civil causes, except as provided in this chapter. 

(2) The court may decree a dissolution of the marriage contract between the petitioner and respondent on the grounds specified in Subsection (3) in all cases where the petitioner or respondent has been an actual and bona fide resident of this state and of the county where the action is brought, or if members of the armed forces of the United States who are not legal residents of this state, where the petitioner has been stationed in this state under military orders, for three months next prior to the commencement of the action. 

(3) Grounds for divorce: 

(a) impotency of the respondent at the time of marriage; 

(b) adultery committed by the respondent subsequent to marriage; 

(c) willful desertion of the petitioner by the respondent for more than one year; 

(d) willful neglect of the respondent to provide for the petitioner the common necessaries of life; 

(e) habitual drunkenness of the respondent; 

(f) conviction of the respondent for a felony; 

(g) cruel treatment of the petitioner by the respondent to the extent of causing bodily injury or great mental distress to the petitioner; 

(h) irreconcilable differences of the marriage; 

(i) incurable insanity; or 

(j) when the husband and wife have lived separately under a decree of separate maintenance of any state for three consecutive years without cohabitation. 

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

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What are the Steps for Getting Divorced in Utah?

What are the Steps for Getting Divorced in Utah?

To start the divorce process, you must begin by filing what is called a complaint or a petition for divorce with the court. This means you are suing your spouse for a divorce. Don’t let the term “suing” frighten you or your spouse. “To sue” means to institute legal proceedings against your spouse. That’s all.

Then your complaint or petition for divorce is served on (or officially delivered to) your spouse, usually by a law enforcement officer or a private process server. You can also waive personal service by a law enforcement officer or process server and just accept service by signing a simply accepting the documents without the need for personal service.

If you and your spouse agree to the terms of your divorce, also known as an “uncontested divorce,” the issue of “service of process” doesn’t come up because you submit voluntarily to the jurisdiction of the court by signing and filing with the court your divorce settlement agreement and other documents that indicate you recognize you are subject to the to the jurisdiction of the court.

If you’re the one seeking a divorce and the one who filed for divorce, your spouse has 21 days to respond to the complaint for divorce or 30 days to respond if your spouse is served outside of the state of Utah.

The name for the response to a complaint for divorce is an “answer”. If you wish to countersue your spouse for divorce after you get served with a petition or complaint for divorce, you can file an “answer and counterclaim”.

How the case proceeds from this point could take various routes:

  • At any point during the pendency of the case, as long as the trial has not concluded and the court issued its decree and orders, you and your spouse can reach a settlement agreement.
  • After the complaint and answer or answer and counterclaim are filed, the parties have to exchange some initial financial information and information about the evidence each party has and what witnesses the parties might call to testify at trial.
  • Then the parties have 180 days to conduct discovery. The purpose of discovery is to obtain facts and information that will reveal the truth in a matter and help both parties and the court determine what’s truly in dispute and what is not. After discovery closes, then the case is almost ready to take to trial, but not quite.
  • Before a divorce case can go to trial in Utah the parties must first to go mediation and try to settle the case (if the parties don’t want to go to mediation they can ask the court to waive the mediation requirement “for good cause,” but it’s not easy to get the court to find good cause to waive mediation. Most couples go to mediation, even if they think it won’t work, if for no other reason than to check the “we went to mediation” box, so that they can get to trial.
  • After discovery closes and mediation is completed, either party can certify the case as read for trial.
  • Then the court schedules one or more pretrial conferences to prepare for trial, set a trial date, the number of day the trial will take, and other matters.
  • After trial, the court can take up to 60 days to issue its decision on the case, after which one of the parties’ respective attorneys is ordered to prepare the Decree of Divorce for the court’s signature.

That’s the Utah divorce process in a nutshell.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Would you tell someone that his/her spouse is cheating?

Would you tell someone that his/her spouse is cheating?

First, I need to make clear that my answer is in my capacity as just a member of the public. If a client of mine (I am a divorce attorney) was having an extramarital affair and disclosed this to me in my capacity as his/her attorney, I would be prohibited from notifying my client’s spouse of my client’s infidelity).

Second, let’s get two definitions down: 1) cuckold: a husband of an adulterous wife; and 2) cuckquean: a wife with an adulterous husband.

The question: Would you tell someone that his/her spouse is cheating?

My answer: If I knew it and could provide independently verifiable evidence of it, yes, I would. It may not be welcome news (to say the least) to the cuckold/cuckquean, but he/she does not deserve to be fooled and humiliated, potentially robbed of family resources spent on the paramour, and potentially placed at risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease by being kept in the dark. It appears clear to me that I have a moral duty to notify the cuckold/cuckquean when I have the power to take steps to protect him/her and the family’s children. The truth may hurt, but ignorance will hurt even more.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/Would-you-tell-someone-that-their-husband-is-cheating/answer/Eric-Johnson-311?prompt_topic_bio=1

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How do I fight a DUI without a lawyer?

How do I fight a DUI without a lawyer?

You don’t. Too much at stake. Too hard to do on your own. I’m a lawyer (a divorce and family law attorney), and although I don’t drink, if I were charged with DUI (even if I knew I was innocent), I wouldn’t try to defend myself without the help of a skilled and experienced criminal defense attorney who knows DUI law and defense backward and forward.

It’s a shame that lawyers are so expensive. I get it. But a DUI can cripple you for years, even for life, sometimes. You have to defend yourself hard because no one else in the system will go to bat for you. The prosecutors and judge aren’t interested in your story (they’ve heard them all and they’re jaded beyond belief).

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-fight-a-DUI-without-a-lawyer/answer/Eric-Johnson-311?prompt_topic_bio=1

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How do you divorce when your doesn’t want to go through with it?

How do you divorce when your doesn’t want to go through with it? Does it require both parties to cooperate?

I cannot speak for all jurisdictions, but here is the answer for Utah, the jurisdiction where I practice divorce and family law (though my best guess is that this applies to all jurisdictions):

Can you divorce your spouse if he/she doesn’t want a divorce? Yes, no question about it. You have an absolute right to a divorce, if you want a divorce. This is what a “no-fault divorce” is. Many people believe that “no-fault divorce” means many things it does not.

Some believe “no fault divorce” means “hey, spouse, you can’t divorce me because I’ve done nothing wrong, I’ve committed no fault.” No, that’s not what it means.

Some believe “no fault divorce” means “hey, spouse, can divorce you because I’ve done nothing wrong, I’ve committed no fault.” That’s not what it means either.

No-fault divorce means this: you can get a divorce regardless of whether your spouse has committed any marital fault. What does this mean, and what is “marital fault”?

  • It means:
    • that before the no-fault divorce law was passed by the legislature the only way one could obtain a decree of divorce was by proving his/her spouse was “at fault”. If your spouse had not committed a marital fault, then you couldn’t get a divorce no matter how much you wanted a divorce. Marital fault-based grounds for divorce still exist in some states*, they are just not the only way one can qualify to get a divorce.
    • that with the passing of a no-fault divorce law, now one can obtain a divorce on the grounds of “irreconcilable differences,” which means that as long as you claim (claim, not prove—after all, how could it be proven or disproven?) that there are “irreconcilable differences” between you and your spouse that render the marriage irretrievably broken, you can get a divorce.
  • Marital fault is any of the following grounds for divorce at common law. I will list the grounds that Utah recognizes first, plus some other grounds that other jurisdictions recognize as “fault”-based grounds for divorce:
    • Utah:
      • impotency of the respondent at the time of marriage;
      • adultery committed by the respondent subsequent to marriage;
      • willful desertion of the petitioner by the respondent for more than one year;
      • willful neglect of the respondent to provide for the petitioner the common necessaries of life;
      • habitual drunkenness of the respondent;
      • conviction of the respondent for a felony;
      • cruel treatment of the petitioner by the respondent to the extent of causing bodily injury or great mental distress to the petitioner;
      • incurable insanity; or
      • when the husband and wife have lived separately under a decree of separate maintenance of any state for three consecutive years without cohabitation.
    • Other fault-based grounds
      • abandonment for a certain length of time;
      • bigamy;
      • conviction of felony;
      • criminal conviction of a felony or imprisonment of one party for a certain length of time;
      • cruelty;
      • desertion (actual desertion, constructive desertion);
      • fraud;
      • habitual intemperance or alcoholism that makes you unable to attend to business or inflicts mental anguish on the non-alcoholic spouse;
      • homosexuality (for heterosexual married couples) of the other party that was not discussed before the union;
      • incest;
      • infertility;
      • mental instability of one of the parties;
      • permanently insanity of spouse (this can be demonstrated by regular confinement within a psychiatric facility in any state or country for at least three years before filing for divorce);
      • separation for a certain minimal period of time;
      • transmission of a sexually transmitted disease by one spouse to the innocent spouse;
      • where a spouse’s joining of a religious sect leads to the destruction of the marriage, then the objecting partner can cite the episode as grounds for divorce;
      • willful desertion;
      • willful neglect of the husband not providing his wife the common needs like foods and shelter;
      • your spouse is physically unable to have sexual intercourse;
      • your spouse’s institutionalization for mental illness

————————————————————————-

Pure no-fault divorce states (according to LegalZoom):

  • California
  • Colorado
  • District of Columbia
  • Florida
  • Hawaii
  • Indiana
  • Iowa
  • Kansas
  • Kentucky
  • Michigan
  • Minnesota
  • Missouri
  • Montana
  • Nebraska
  • Nevada
  • Oregon
  • Washington
  • Wisconsin

———————————

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-divorce-someone-when-one-of-the-people-doesn-t-want-to-go-through-with-it-Does-it-require-both-parties-to-cooperate/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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Are irreconcilable differences the same as an at-fault divorce?

No.

There are two kind of grounds for divorce: fault and no-fault. Irreconcilable differences are an example of no-fault grounds for divorce.

Before no-fault divorce laws were passed (and every state in the United States of America now allows divorce on a no-fault basis), a husband or wife could not obtain a divorce unless he/she could prove that his or her spouse had committed marital fault.

No, really. I’m not kidding. It got to the point that spouses we didn’t have fault-based grounds for divorce, but wanted a divorce nevertheless, would collude with each other and perjure themselves to commit fraud on the court: the husband or would would agree to claim, falsely that he/she committed adultery (or some other fault), and the other spouse would go along with the sham. Together they would represent to the court that a divorce was warranted on the basis of adultery that never took place, simply so they could get divorce from one another. lawmakers, realizing that this was happening, and realizing that there were many people in need of a divorce who could not qualify under existing laws, responded with the passage of no-fault divorce laws.

Fault-based grounds for divorce are those that allege that your spouse has committed one or more kinds of wrongs that would entitle you to a divorce.

No-fault grounds are those that allege that you don’t need or want to allege that your spouse has done anything wrong such that you are entitled to a divorce; instead, alleging no-fault grounds means that you just want out of the marriage, without having to blame your spouse as an excuse for getting divorced.

Fault-based grounds for divorce can vary from state to state, but generally the “marital faults” that qualify include:

  • impotency of the respondent at the time of marriage;
  • adultery committed by the respondent subsequent to marriage;
  • willful desertion of the petitioner by the respondent for more than one year;
  • willful neglect of the respondent to provide for the petitioner the common necessaries of life;
  • habitual drunkenness of the respondent;
  • conviction of the respondent for a felony;
  • cruel treatment of the petitioner by the respondent to the extent of causing bodily injury or great mental distress to the petitioner;
  • incurable insanity; or
  • when the husband and wife have lived separately under a decree of separate maintenance of any state for three consecutive years without cohabitation.

See Utah Code § 30-3-1(3)

Other historical fault-based grounds for divorce include:

  • existence of a loathsome disease concealed from the other spouse at the time of marriage were contracted afterwards
  • substance abuse other than and/or in addition to alcohol abuse
  • bigamy
  • impotence
  • force or fraud
  • mental illness
  • carnal abandonment (refusing to have a reasonable amount of sexual intercourse with one’s spouse)
  • infertility (particularly if your infertility was known and you concealed the fact before marriage)
  • sexual orientation ( g., you are heterosexual and you discover that your spouse is homosexual)
  • changing religions after marriage or abandoning one’s religious faith after marriage

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/Are-irreconcilable-differences-the-same-as-an-at-fault-divorce/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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Divorce or not in this situation?

After a brief marriage, my aunt separated 50 years ago from her husband but never divorced him and hasn’t seen him since. For estate purposes, should she try to find him and get divorced?

This appears to be a marriage in name only. If so, then in my opinion, the honorable thing to do is either divorce him and ask for nothing or, when he dies, make no claim to his estate.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/After-a-brief-marriage-my-aunt-separated-50-years-ago-from-her-husband-but-never-divorced-him-and-hasn-t-seen-him-since-For-estate-purposes-should-she-try-to-find-him-and-get-divorced/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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