You have just decided to file for divorce. Or perhaps you have been served with divorce papers. At some point early on in the process you will likely think to yourself, “I have so many text messages that clearly prove my spouse is terrible,” or “I have videos of my spouse behaving badly.” You could be right. But do you know what kind of evidence is relevant and that the court finds persuasive? And have you considered the implications of what your “evidence” actually says about you? For every gotcha text message or video you have, does your spouse have similar dirt on you?
You may think to yourself, “I’ll just delete the messages that cast me in a bad light,” or “I’ll edit the videos a certain way to make myself look better” and engage in other cherry picking. This rarely works. Indeed, it often backfires. Manipulating the facts is a form of lying. And it’s not that hard to spot or expose.
Understand what kinds of evidence the court needs and what is useless to a court. The court’s jobs are clearcut: 1) end the marriage 2) divide the marital assets, 3) divide responsibility for marital debts, 4) deal with custody of the children (if any), parent-time, and child support, and 4) determine whether to award alimony, and if so, how much and for how long based upon the recipient’s need and the payor’s ability to pay. That’s it. It is not the purpose of the divorce court to settle scores between you and your spouse or to declare who’s worse than the other. While spousal or child abuse can be relevant in a divorce case, stories about shouting matches and squabbles are nothing new or compelling in a divorce case.
Take a businesslike approach to your divorce case. You have to work out your feelings in a divorce case, just not in court. Don’t dwell on your feelings too much when dealing with the court; it’s a waste of your time and energy.
What should you do, then? You need to face the truth and deal with the truth. Submit the relevant evidence and concede your flaws and faults along with it. Your credibility is more important than trying to put up a false front. Your credibility is easier to show and maintain when you’re honest. Courts are more sympathetic with honest people than with liars.
Special masters and parent coordinators (and co-parenting therapists, co-parent coaches/consultants, and their ilk) were invented for the purpose of unburdening courts from some of the conflict associated with domestic relations litigation. They fail to fulfill their purpose. They do not provide value for the money they charge. The parent(s) end up wasting money on a special master, parent coordinator, etc. while the disputes either persist or get worse (and sometimes it’s the involvement of the special master and parent coordinators who are to blame, either in full or in part). Besides, for most litigants a special master, parent coordinator, etc. is an expense they cannot (or should not) financially bear.
The idea that divorced parents need more than the laws currently on the books, the (lawful) orders in their divorce and child custody decrees, and the sensible use of law enforcement officers when warranted is to infantilize divorced and separated parents.
In the overwhelming majority of cases, anyone trying to sell you on a special master, parent coordinators, co-parenting therapist, co-parent coach, consultants, blah, blah, blah is either someone who offers such “services” and who is trying to sell them to you or a is a court trying to take the dispute out its lap and place it in someone else’s.
As any attorney can do with any client, a PGAL clearly has the right to argue on a child client’s behalf, and the Utah Code makes clear that a PGAL can express a child client’s “intentions and desires” (See Utah Code Section 78A-2-705(13)(d)). Here is how I analyze the argument that PGALs state what they allege to be a child client’s intentions and/or desires:
If an attorney makes an argument pertaining to what the court’s child custody or parent-time orders should be, that argument must be based upon evidence duly admitted into the court record, or there is no evidence supporting the argument. An argument unsupported by the evidence in the record is basis for objection. An argument based upon speculation is basis for objection.
A recommendation made by a PGAL is an argument. The elements of a recommendation and an argument are the same. Without a basis of duly admitted evidence in the court record for support, a PGAL’s recommendation is without support.
Implicit in an argument are underlying facts cited to support the argument. A PGAL cannot argue that “this is the child’s desire” without citing evidence of the child’s desire. A PGAL who claims to know a child client’s intentions and desires to the court is, by definition, testifying, not arguing. To argue that we can discern a child’s intentions and/or desires from the evidence in the record still requires evidence in the record to which to cite in support of the argument. An argument cannot be a substitute for evidence. An argument is not an argument without evidentiary support.
If a PGAL bases his arguments to any degree upon his child client’s communication of the child’s intentions and desires (whether to the PGAL or to someone else), the child client must have first communicated his/her intentions and desires. If a PGAL then reports to the court those attorney-client communications on the subject of the client’s intentions, that is still either 1) hearsay or inferential hearsay or 2) the witness’s proffered testimony that entitles a party to cross-examine the witness at the very least.
If a PGAL claims to have discerned a client’s intentions and desires without having received express communication from the client as the client’s intentions and desires (such as, for example, not conversing or corresponding in writing, but instead monitoring the child’s communications with other people or observing the child’s behavior), then the PGAL would be acting as a witness.
If a PGAL is the attorney for a party to the case, then the PGAL does not get to testify for the client. And if the PGAL proffers a client’s testimony, then that testimony is subject to cross-examination.
A PGAL cannot “argue what my client wants” without there being some evidence that what the PGAL asserted “the client wants” is, in fact, what the clients want. With parties that’s fairly easy because they will have filed a pleading stating what they want. If there is any question as to whether the pleadings are not those of the party, then the party can either indicate that spontaneously or be asked to verify or deny it. With child clients of PGAL there are rarely, if ever, pleadings filed with the court(as the term is properly defined, i.e., a formal statement of a cause of action, not as the term is carelessly thrown around to mean documents filed with the court) by the children through their counsel. Even if the PGAL had somehow filed pleadings in the action AND the court recognized the children as parties to the action, their PGAL attorney cannot testify for them.
Advocacy of a PGAL client’s desires requires evidence of the child client’s desires. Evidence of the child client’s desires requires a record that the child expressed/articulated those desires; otherwise, we would find ourselves in a situation where the PGAL could literally fabricate “argument” on the basis of nonexistent evidence and get away with it clean. That is clearly not how the law and the rules of evidence apply.
As any attorney can do with any client, a PGAL clearly has the right to argue on a child client’s behalf, and the Utah Code makes clear that a PGAL can express a child client’s “intentions and desires”. (See Utah Code Section 78A-2-705(13)(d))
When a PGAL tells a court, “I’ve spoken to my client, and based upon those discussions, I can tell you that his/her intentions and desires are . . .” is hearsay or, at the very least, inferential hearsay. It can’t be anything else. Such a hearsay declarant is at least subject to cross examination (URE 806).
There is a pervasive belief among Utah family law attorneys and judicial officers that a child represented by a PGAL cannot even be cross-examined. There is no legal authority for this. Indeed, all legal authority is to the contrary.
Children testify in Utah juvenile court proceedings, and when they do, they often do under various circumstances (regarding child custody and parent-time) that are substantively indistinguishable from testifying in a child custody and parent-time in a divorce or district court child custody case. When district courts try to make a distinction between testifying in juvenile court and barring testimony in district court, they fail. They must. It is a distinction without difference.
I really do not understand why everyone frames (or tries to frame) asking questions of children who are the subject of a child custody and/or parent-time dispute as inherently harmful to children. One can ask certain questions that harm, or elicit answers that harm, but all forms of questioning are not innately harmful to children. Moreover, there is a level of harm that is, frankly, justified when the value of the testimonial evidence elicited is greater than the harm caused or that may be caused (it’s why we jail witnesses who are afraid to testify against the mob, yet put them in witness protection). Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
Unless they are very young, children are not so ignorant as to have no idea what is happening in a child custody dispute case. They know that if there is a dispute over custody that one parent will be unhappy. The children aren’t surprised when one parent or both parents try to lobby to support their candidacy for “best parent” or “custodial parent”. They aren’t surprised if a court wants to know what the children have experienced, how children feel, and what the children want on the subject of the child custody and parent-time awards.
There are clearly ways to obtain valuable evidence that children and only children are uniquely able to provide (in the form of their about their experiences, observations, feelings, opinions, preferences, and desires on the subject without it harming or unduly harming them.
Utah Code § 78A-2-705 provides that, “The court may appoint an attorney as a private attorney guardian ad litem to represent the best interests of the minor in any district court action when: child abuse, child sexual abuse, or neglect is alleged in any proceeding, and the court has made a finding that an adult party is not indigent as determined under Section 78B-22-202; or the custody of, or parent-time with, a child is at issue.
What is a guardian ad litem? According to Black’s Law Dictionary, a guardian ad litem is a lawyer, appointed by the court to appear in a lawsuit on behalf of an incompetent adult or on behalf of a minor child party. At first blush, the concept of a guardian ad litem sounds pretty good, right? Unfortunately, the way private guardians ad litem (known as PGALs, for short) are utilized in Utah’s courts in child custody disputes is simply wrongheaded and contrary to the fundamental principles of fact finding, due process of law, and justice itself.
Given that children have the greatest stake in the custody and parent-time awards, I cannot see how any competent jurist could justify barring a sufficiently (sufficiently, not excessively) competent, intelligent, mature, and credible minor child witness (especially, but not exclusively, a child who wants to testify) from testifying on those subjects.
PGALs are not appointed for the purpose of ensuring a child never testifies on/for the record in his/her own words, yet that is what many GALs/PGALs believe (and they act accordingly). I’ve encountered PGALs and judges who object to children who want to testify–not because the children are incompetent or incredible or in serious danger if they testify, but “as a matter of general principle” (whatever that means).
PGALs are not witnesses (expert or otherwise). PGALs cannot testify, but most PGALs I know believe they can testify, nonetheless. Most PGALs I know believe that they are an exception to the hearsay rule. Most PGALs I know believe that one of the purposes of their appointment is ensuring a child’s own, unfiltered, un-summarized, direct, on the record testimony is never heard. This is wrong. PGALs claim that one of their roles is to prevent the child from getting involved in the case. This is wrong too.
Every witness (child or otherwise) is inherently involved to some degree or another in the case in which the witness testifies. Most witnesses (even party witnesses) are reluctant witnesses. It has been my experience that, as a lazy, disingenuous way to prevent any child of any age from testifying for the record, those who oppose child testimony define “harm’s a child” as synonymous with “child is reluctant” or “child might be reluctant” or “the child’s testimony could upset a parent and the parent might retaliate against the child” or “simply having to contemplate the subjects raised in the course of testifying is asking too much of any child.” These lazy, disingenuous people equate any and all testifying from the mouth of the child on the record with inherently causing the child harm.
I could easily identify a dozen Utah attorneys who, with a straight face, will unqualifiedly agree with the statement, “Any child who testifies directly on the record on the subject of the custody or parent-time awards that will apply to him/her is unduly harmed by his/her testifying.” It’s a fatuously overbroad contention and they know (or should know) it, but it’s not about coming up with sincere, good-faith opposition to child testimony, it’s about contriving what is labeled an excuse (plausible or otherwise) to prevent child testimony.
Another “reason” for banning on/for the record child testimony that a child’s preferences and desires do not control the custody and parent-time awards. That’s embarrassingly disingenuous. I am aware of no one ever arguing, “Once the child has testified for the record, the court is inexorably bound to award custody and parent-time as the child wants,” yet I have seen many memoranda that argue against child testimony on the “grounds” that a child should not testify because “the [child’s] expressed desires [regarding future custody or parent-time schedules] are not controlling.” (see Utah Code Section 30-3-10(5)(b)(i)).
It is not my purpose, in seeking the testimony of children on subjects relevant to the custody and parent-time awards, to harm those children. By the same token, unless child testimony is honestly found to be unduly harmful to a child, then a child should not be prevented from testifying simply because someone can think of any kind of harm–no matter how slight–that testifying might cause the child.
You have just decided to file for divorce. Or perhaps you have been served with divorce papers. At some point early on in the process you will likely think to yourself, “I have so many text messages that clearly prove my spouse is terrible,” or “I have videos of my spouse behaving badly.” You could be right. But do you know what kind of evidence is relevant and that the court finds persuasive? And have you considered the implications of what your “evidence” actually says about you? For every gotcha text message or video you have, does your spouse have similar dirt on you?
You may think to yourself, “I’ll just delete the messages that cast me in a bad light,” or “I’ll edit the videos a certain way to make myself look better” and engage in other cherry picking. This rarely works. Indeed, it often backfires. Manipulating the facts is a form of lying. And it’s not that hard to spot or expose.
Understand what kinds of evidence the court needs and what is useless to a court. The court’s jobs are clearcut: 1) end the marriage 2) divide the marital assets, 3) divide responsibility for marital debts, 4) deal with custody of the children (if any), parent-time, and child support, and 4) determine whether to award alimony, and if so, how much and for how long based upon the recipient’s need and the payor’s ability to pay. That’s it. It is not the purpose of the divorce court to settle scores between you and your spouse or to declare who’s worse than the other. While spousal or child abuse can be relevant in a divorce case, stories about shouting matches and squabbles are nothing new or compelling in a divorce case.
Take a businesslike approach to your divorce case. You have to work out your feelings in a divorce case, just not in court. Don’t dwell on your feelings too much when dealing with the court; it’s a waste of your time and energy.
What should you do, then? You need to face the truth and deal with the truth. Submit the relevant evidence and concede your flaws and faults along with it. Your credibility is more important than trying to put up a false front. Your credibility is easier to show and maintain when you’re honest. Courts are more sympathetic with honest people than with liars.
In every Utah divorce case, the parties must prepare what is known as a financial declaration. The parties to a divorce action are required by the rules of court to provide each other with their financial declarations.
With rare exception, divorce litigants struggle with preparing a complete, accurate, truthful financial declaration. We prepared this video (and an accompanying blog post) to help you 1) overcome procrastination, 2) understand the purpose of each part of your financial declaration, and 3) persuade you, we hope, not to give in to the temptation to lie on your financial declaration or try to hide anything from disclosure on your financial declaration.
What is your financial declaration?
Concisely stated, your financial declaration is a document that provides information about income, assets, debts, and personal expenses.
The information in the financial declaration is used to analyze and determine questions of child support, alimony, division of marital property, and assigning responsibility for marital debts and obligations. as well as for determining an attorney’s fee or “for any other reason” (Utah Rules of Civil Procedure Rule 26.1(e)).
The specifics of what needs to be included in your financial declaration are outlined in URCP Rule 26.1. The acronym URCP means “Utah Rules of Civil Procedure,” and URCP 26.1 requires that you provide specific supporting documents with your financial declaration:
Your previous two years’ personal and business tax returns, including all the documents submitted with your tax returns and all documents used to prepare those tax returns
Pay stubs for the last 12 months before the petition for divorce was filed with the court.
Documents that verify the value of all real estate that the parties have an interest in (for example, your most recent appraisal, tax valuation, and refinance documents)
Bank statements for all financial accounts for the 3 months before the divorce was filed (this includes checking, savings, money market funds, certificates of deposit, brokerage, investment, retirement, regardless of whether the account has been closed including those held jointly, in your name, or as a trustee or guardian, or on someone’s behalf).
We also suggest that you provide documentation of your personal expenses going as far back as you can. If you don’t have this documentation, start compiling it.
Is there a way to be exempt from preparing and producing a financial declaration?
No. We will not discuss this topic again. You must prepare a financial declaration, and you must prepare it within the time limits you are given to prepare it. You must give your spouse a copy of it. There is no way around it. If you refuse to provide a financial declaration, the court can and almost surely will sanction you severely. Here is what Rule 26.1 provides on that subject:
(f) Sanctions. Failure to fully disclose all assets and income in the Financial Declaration and attachments may subject the non-disclosing party to sanctions under Rule 37 including an award of non-disclosed assets to the other party, attorney’s fees or other sanctions deemed appropriate by the court.
(g) Failure to comply. Failure of a party to comply with this rule does not preclude any other party from obtaining a default judgment, proceeding with the case, or seeking other relief from the court.
Do I have to give the court a copy of my financial declaration? Why?
You may be required to file a copy of your financial declaration with the court if 1) a hearing is scheduled on the subject of child support, spousal support, division of property, allocation of responsibility for debts, attorney fees awards and court costs, or 2) the court has ordered you to file it.
Do I have to give my spouse a copy of my financial declaration? Why?
Yes, you do need to give your spouse a copy of your financial declaration. It is required by court rules. Rule 26.1(c), to be exact.
But the better question is why wouldn’t you give your spouse a copy of your financial declaration? Exchanging financial declarations with your spouse is a way of keeping both parties honest about income, assets, debts and obligations, and personal expenses.
There is an element of wounded pride and embarrassment associated with close examination of the details of a person’s finances. Being honest and pushing your pride aside is hard but is still better than misrepresenting or hiding your financial state.
What will happen if I do not prepare and provide my spouse (and the court, when necessary or when ordered to do so) a financial declaration?
See paragraph 2 above.
And your attorney will likely withdraw as your counsel.
You could be sanctioned for contempt of court. This can lead to fines, penalties, or even jail time.
You could lose your rights and entitlements you would otherwise deserve when it comes to division of marital property, responsibility for marital debts and obligations, and the spousal support and child support awards.
6. Isn’t a financial declaration just busy work?
I hope that by now you can see that a financial declaration is plainly not busy work.
A clear, accurate, and complete financial declaration is one of the best ways to establish your honesty, character, and credibility overall.
A clear, accurate, and complete financial declaration is necessary to help you understand the reality of your financial situation now and what it will likely be post-divorce.
We get it. Taking a hard, honest look at your financials is scary and discouraging. But burying your head in the sand does you no good. Face up to it and get it done.
I do not see the point of a financial declaration (you are lying; of course you see the point of a financial declaration).
“Hey,” you may think, “I have a smart and original idea: I will lie on my financial declaration.” This is neither original nor smart.
You are not the first and will not be the last person to believe that they can lie to your attorney, to the court and to your spouse and to your spouse’s attorney. People have been lying to the courts from the beginning. Sometimes it works. The odds, however, are against you.
The moral thing to do is to tell the truth.
If doing the right thing is not reason enough to be honest and forthright, then remember you are not as good a liar as you think, and you will be caught in your lies.
Do you really believe that you are smarter than the opposing counsel, your attorney, and the court individually or combined? You can fool some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.
Lying can get you some big benefits if you get away with it. However, if you are caught lying, you will lose. The court can hold you in contempt, and even strike your pleadings outright and award default judgment to your spouse. If your main worry is your money, then you should disclose it. Getting caught in a lie or worse, lying under oath is usually more costly than being honest and forthcoming.
Courts have seen liars lying on financial declarations forever. There is nothing new under the sun.
Unless your lawyer is a crook, if you insist on lying on your financial declaration, your lawyer will be required to drop you as a client.
OK, so you’re now convinced there is no escaping the preparation of your complete and accurate financial declaration. How do I prepare my best financial declaration? Great question. Let’s start answering it by first addressing the wrong way to prepare a financial declaration.
The wrong way to prepare your financial declaration
Guessing or estimating without 1) making it clear on your financial declaration form that you were making an estimate, and 2) making the most accurate guess/estimate you can and explaining the bases for your estimate.
Your spouse isn’t likely to cut you some slack if you guess or estimate incorrectly. No, instead your spouse will accuse you of lying. Don’t make wild guesses. Don’t make estimates without making it clear that your estimate is an estimate, not an unquestionable fact.
Sloppy guessing and estimating makes you look dishonest and/or ignorant. Courts don’t listen to liars and fools or take them seriously.
Falsely claiming that you “don’t remember” and that you cannot find documents.
This is lying, and it doesn’t fool anyone. Anyone may honestly forget or misremember a few details. Sometimes documents get lost. It’s only human. But conveniently claiming “I don’t recall” and “I can’t find it” in response to crucial questions? Come on. You cannot even lie persuasively to yourself like that.
Claiming you can’t find documents doesn’t mean your spouse or your spouse’s lawyer can’t find them through other means.
The right way to prepare your financial declaration.
The right way to fill out a financial declaration is to be as honest and thorough as possible to provide as complete and accurate a financial declaration as possible. Yes, it may hurt or embarrass you to be so honest about your financial situation, but it hurts worse to lie and be sloppy.
Do the necessary work. You can’t skip steps and take shortcuts and turn out a complete and accurate financial declaration. If you think you are an exception, you’re lying to yourself.
Don’t procrastinate. You cannot prepare a good financial declaration by waiting until the last minute. Procrastination does more damage to your ability to prepare a good financial declaration than any other bad habit. Procrastination needlessly and inexcusably makes it sadly and much harder to prepare your financial declaration.
Conquer procrastination. Conquer it by:
1) committing to complete 3 pages per day, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. There are about 14 pages in a financial declaration form. Your attorney can prepare the first 2 pages for you. That leaves 11-12 pages you need to fill out yourself. If you complete 3 pages per day (and leave yourself an extra day or two to compensate for interruptions or snags you encounter along the way), you’ll have it done—and done well—in 5 days.
2) compiling your supporting documents. Start now. Make sure you contact your banks, credit unions, and other financial institutions, HR and/or payroll department, retirement benefits administrator, and credit card companies to get the documents you need to attach to your financial declaration:
Tax returns for the last two years
Pay stubs or other proof of income for the 12 months before the petition was filed
Loan applications for the 12 months before the petition was filed
Real estate documents. Deed, most recent appraisal, tax valuation, and refinance documents (if any).
Financial statements for the 3 months before the petition was filed. This includes, but is not limited to:
checking
savings
credit cards
money transfer apps
money market funds
certificates of deposit
brokerage
investment
retirement
It can take several days for the documents to be emailed or mailed to you, so contact the sources and request them now. Don’t be afraid to follow up if you haven’t received them by the time the sources estimate or promise you’ll have them.
Garbage in, garbage out. If you wait until the last minute to prepare your financial declaration, odds are your financial declaration will be mediocre, and a mediocre financial declaration is dangerous. Frankly, if you prepare a half-baked financial declaration, you deserve the natural consequences of poor preparation.
iii. Work in and for your best interest.
Do the work. Do it consistently. Do it on time. There is no other way to do it right.
You cannot foist the preparation of a solid financial declaration on your attorney and his assistants. Really, you can’t. Don’t try. It won’t work. It cannot work.
Your attorney and his assistants cannot do it for you. It is impossible. There is information and there are supporting documents only you can provide.
Your attorney and his assistants do not know more about your financial situation than you do.
iii. Your attorney is there to help you get your financial declaration in ship shape, but you have to do the work and supply information and documents that only you can provide before your attorney can be of any help to you.
There is no loophole. There is no magic wand. You will have to do the work and do it consistently in order to put your best foot forward. Time wasted or squandered cannot be recovered.
Explaining each part of the financial declaration and what the court and the opposing party use it for:
Paragraph 1. Statement of whether you are filing a copy of your financial declaration with the court. This paragraph is fairly self-explanatory. Unless there is a hearing on the subject of alimony, child support, or attorney’s fees awards scheduled, or unless the court has ordered you to file your financial declaration with the court, you don’t file your financial declaration with the court.
Paragraph 2. The documents supporting your financial declaration. Your tax returns, pay stubs, loan applications, real estate documents, and financial statements verify the information you provide in the other paragraphs in your financial declaration.
Paragraph 3. Employment. You identify whether you are employed, and if you are, who your employer or employers are, how you are compensated, how often you are paid, and how much you are paid.
Paragraph 4. Gross Monthly Income. You identify all sources of your pre-tax income, whether earned or unearned, and how much you receive on a monthly basis from each income source. If you don’t receive income on a monthly basis, then you identify what the average annualized monthly amount is.
Paragraph 5. Monthly tax deductions. You identify what taxes are deducted from your gross monthly income and how much is deducted.
Paragraph 6. After Tax Income. This paragraph is fairly self-explanatory. In this paragraph you state what your net income is after you deduct the taxes withheld from your gross monthly income.
Paragraph 7. Monthly Expenses. This paragraph is fairly self-explanatory. Here you identify what your monthly personal expenses are. If you have separated and your expenses have changed since separation, then you identify the differences between your “Current” monthly personal expenses and what your previous “Marital” monthly personal expenses are.
You don’t simply state your personal expenses in paragraph 7. You need to be able to verify and justify them too. To do that, you need to provide receipts documenting these expenses as real.
Providing receipts establishes your credibility. They demonstrate that you are transparent and honest about your financial situation. Providing receipts establishes accuracy. They ensure that you do not overstate or understate your financial obligations and they prevent the court from dismissing your personal expense claims as false or inflated. Providing receipts provide context and explanations for specific expenditures.
Paragraph 8. Business Interests. A business could be a marital asset that has value to be divided in divorce. Or it could be separate property. This is why you provide the information about your business interests, who owns the business interests, and the value of business assets.
Paragraph 9. Financial Assets. This is where you identify where your money is kept, as well as information on other financial assets such as stocks and bonds, insurance policies, and retirement accounts.
Paragraph 10. Real Estate. This is where you identify your interests in real estate, such as the marital home, vacation property, rental properties, or other interests in real estate.
Paragraph 11. Personal Property. In this paragraph you identify the personal property that you own, whether you acquired it before marriage or during the marriage. Must you list every shirt and sock you own, every knife, fork, and spoon? No. A fair rule of thumb for what to list in paragraph 11 is that anything valued around $500 or more goes on the list. You can identify things worth less if you want or if you feel it is important, of course.
Paragraph 12. Debts Owed. In this paragraph you identify both your separate and marital debts and obligations. The type of debt, the account number (if applicable), who the debtors are, the balance owed on the debt, and what the minimum monthly payment is (if applicable).
Supporting documents for your financial declaration must be in PDF format.
The court will not accept documents in any form other than PDF, so all supporting documents must be in PDF form. Here are ways to scan and save documents as PDFs:
Scanner with built-in PDF-creation functionality. Most scanners come with built-in PDF-creation functionality, so you can scan a document and automatically save it in PDF format.
All-in-one multifunction machines: All-in-one machines often have scanning capabilities that allow you to scan documents to PDF files.
Smartphone Apps: There are several smartphone apps that enable you to convert a photograph of a document into PDF format. This is, however, the worst option of all the others. Scanning from a smartphone is time consuming, results in the lowest quality images, and makes it hard to scan multi-page documents. Use your own scanner or have someone else scan your documents into PDF format. You and your lawyer will be glad you did.
Once you gather your supporting documents together, save complete and legible copies of them in PDF format and then email them to your attorney to serve or file them with your financial declaration.
Thank you for watching. Thank you for reading. You’re better for having done so. Because you are now better educated and better prepared to complete your financial declaration fully, accurately, and on time. We hope that watching this video and reading the associated blog post has not only impressed upon you the importance of your financial declaration but has demystified what your financial declaration is and the purposes it serves. We hope you are better prepared and more confident going forward.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277
I had lunch today with a former legal assistant of mine who is now a law student in Arizona. Over the summer he shadowed judges in Maricopa County during their family court rotations.
He told me that in Arizona the courts permit children over the age of 10 years to testify in child custody proceedings.
Are the Arizona courts administered by fools and sadists?
Or could it be that the Utah district courts’ near-universal aversion to any and all forms of on the record child testimony in child custody proceedings is a case of misplaced priorities?
Could it be that the way Utah courts use appointments of guardians ad litem and/or custody evaluators for the ostensible purpose of “speaking for” competent witness minor children
is a sophomoric euphemism for good old fashioned hearsay?
ironically results in silencing the most percipient witnesses (regarding issues in which they have the greatest stake)?
Could it be that GAL “reports” and “recommendations” that are based upon purported interviews with the minor child (when there is no objectively verifiable record of whether the interviews even took place, to say nothing of what was and was not asked and answered in the course of the alleged interview) are not fact or expert witness testimony (see State ex rel. A.D., ¶¶ 6 and 7, 6 P.3d 1137, 2000 UT App 216) and thus inherently not evidence?
Could it be that custody evaluator “expert testimony” and “recommendations” based upon purported interviews with the minor child (when there is no objectively verifiable record of whether the interviews even took place, to say nothing of what was and was not asked and answered in the course of the alleged interview) inherently can’t qualify as expert testimony (URE Rule 702 (Rules of Evidence))?
Special masters, parent coordinators, and the infantilization of parents
Special masters and parent coordinators (and co-parenting therapists, co-parent coaches/consultants, and their ilk) were invented for the purpose of unburdening courts from some of the conflict associated with domestic relations litigation. They fail to fulfill their purpose. They do not provide value for the money they charge. The parent(s) end up wasting money on a special master, parent coordinator, etc. while the disputes either persist or get worse (and sometimes it’s the involvement of the special master and parent coordinators who are to blame, either in full or in part). Besides, for most litigants a special master, parent coordinator, etc. is an expense they cannot (or should not) financially bear.
The idea that divorced parents need more than the laws currently on the books, the (lawful) orders in their divorce and child custody decrees, and the sensible use of law enforcement officers when warranted is to infantilize divorced and separated parents.
In the overwhelming majority of cases, anyone trying to sell you on a special master, parent coordinators, co-parenting therapist, co-parent coach, consultants, blah, blah, blah is either someone who offers such “services” and who is trying to sell them to you or a is a court trying to take the dispute out its lap and place it in someone else’s.
The Utah State Legislature passed this into law an amendment to Utah Code § 77-36-2.1, which was effective May 3, 2023. The newly amended code section now requires police officers to conduct “lethality assessments” in response to domestic violence calls under certain circumstances.
My immediate reaction to this news was: Oh, no, but I didn’t share that on my blog because I wanted to ensure I didn’t come to any hasty, erroneous conclusions. Now that I’ve had time to reflect on the subject, my reaction is: Oh, no.
While I have no doubt that the intention behind lethality assessments is sincere, I worry about whether lethality assessments will be conducted to protect domestic violence victims or conducted to protect the police.
If you’re a law enforcement officer who doesn’t want to be blamed for failing to protect a victim or potential victim, then what reason would you have not to “err on the side of caution” when you conduct lethality assessments? Essentially, the thinking goes: “I don’t want to be blamed for failing to protect someone from domestic violence. I don’t want to be accused of being insensitive to the vulnerable. So, if the mere allegation of domestic violence arises, I will punish the accused and I 1) won’t look like I’m soft on domestic violence and 2) will appear to be preventing crime (even if there is no crime).”
I’m concerned that lethality assessments can be abused by those who report domestic violence and those who respond to reports of domestic violence, that lethality assessments, which are intended to be a shield to the vulnerable, would be abused as a weapon against innocent people who aren’t violent and/or who don’t pose a threat of violence.
As a divorce lawyer, I am particularly concerned about the potential for lethality assessments to be abused by spouses and parents who are plotting a divorce or child custody action and who make false allegations of domestic violence to gain an advantage over the other spouse or parent in the divorce and or child custody action. Then, not only do we have to worry about police officers who might err on the side of caution when conducting lethality assessments, but we also have to worry about judges who would do the same (“I have my doubts about the credibility of that lethality assessment in the record. But if I say I don’t believe it, then I might appear indifferent to domestic violence. Or if it turns out that the accused is violent, then I’ll be blamed for ‘ignoring’ the lethality assessment. Better for me to err on the side of caution.”).
I am also worried that, following the mandate to conduct lethality assessments, the domestic violence hustlers will “discover” a raft of domestic violence “risk” or “danger” that had heretofore gone “undetected” based upon the lethality assessments data, and that it will be offered as proof that lethality assessments “work”. I’m worried that people will claim that the self-proclaimed domestic violence victims are proof that they are domestic violence victims because of the lethality assessment, which is nothing other than a record of one’s subjective claims of being a victim.
Family law is, for most lawyers, a miserable practice area. You have to have the right personality and constitution for it. If you want to be a family lawyer to “help families,” be prepared for a mostly frustrating (highly frustrating) career. If you want to be a family lawyer to help protect people from the family court system, you will also experience a mostly frustrating career, but not as much as for those who go into family law with the intention of “helping families”—family law is not the best place to expend one’s time, effort, and care, if helping families is your goal. Better to be an excellent pastor, teacher, coach, therapist, social worker (good luck being an excellent social worker if you’re employed by the government—you’ll need it), or something like that. Don’t get me wrong; the world needs good family lawyers, but family lawyers do little to preserve and protect families (and those who try rarely succeed). Family lawyers are there either to victimize through the legal system or to protect people from being victimized by or in the system.
OK, now on to your question. This just my opinion, but I submit it is an educated one:
Law school is intellectually demanding in terms of difficulty, intensity, and volume. Sociology, social work, other areas of study like them are generally and comparatively intellectually lightweight (notice I stated “generally”; there are surely some exceptions, I concede). While it is not impossible for a sociology or social work majors to succeed in law school, I would suggest you major in something that will better equip you for the rigors of law school. English, Philosophy (both the fun and the hard stuff), or hard sciences—disciplines that develop your ability to think, to analyze, and to synthesize. And take classes that teach you to research and write well.
Sociology, social work, and public health treat some of the subjects that family law treats, but not as much as you might believe. In my personal opinion, the sociological, social work, and public health evidence that the courts consider isn’t very reliable or consistent or even all that accurate. You can find a “study” to support any position. Which is a shame because it tars the truly scientific and accurate studies with the broad brush of hackery characteristic of so much of the rubbish.
One thing that might be of extreme value, however, would be to major in sociology or social work in the most intellectually and scientifically rigorous program you can get into, get a master’s degree in it, then go to law school, and then become a family lawyer who stays apprised of and specializes as an expert in the science that is relevant to family law issues. That would be a hard, expensive, time-consuming pathway to becoming a family lawyer, but you’d be one of the best as a result.
My answer to your question is going to be a generalized answer to a hypothetical question. Before you take any real-life legal action in relation to real, existing laws, you will need to ensure you understand now the real, existing laws are construed and applied. And you would likely benefit from consulting with an attorney in your jurisdiction who is familiar with the law there. With that stated:
If I understand your question correctly, you are asking a question involving this scenario:
A divorce law currently exists.
The law may change or you know it is going to change.
Under the current law, you could benefit from its provisions.
You want to take advantage of the benefits that the current law provides before those benefits disappear after the change to the law goes into effect.
So, your question is, can you file for divorce now to take advantage of the benefits of an existing law before the law changes? You certainly could. It is not uncommon for people to take action under the provisions of laws that are about to change, so that they can take advantage of the provisions in the old law that will no longer exist after the changes go into effect. This happens with tax law frequently.
If you filed for divorce under an old law’s provisions to obtain the benefits the old law bestows and if your decree of divorce was granted before the law changed, it is likely that the new laws would not apply to your case. You would, however, still want to ensure that the changes to the law do not operate such that the changes are not retroactive or invalidate any pending divorce actions filed under the old law.
You have just received an email from your lawyer about a deadline that your lawyer needs your help to meet. What should you do? You are already extremely busy with your life and its responsibilities. You don’t need or have time for “homework” on top of everything else. You are paying your lawyer a substantial amount of money, why isn’t he or she handling all of this for you? The answer is simple: your lawyer cannot do what only you can do.
Litigation is deadline driven. The rules of court set deadlines for when certain exhibits, arguments, requests, claims, and responses must be served on the opposing party and/or filed with the court. Miss the deadline and you risk having those exhibits, arguments, requests, claims, and responses rejected. You could have critical evidence that could help win the day but if you miss the submission deadline, it won’t matter.
You could be subject to certain penalties under the law including contempt of court, awarding of all undisclosed assets to the other party, and being required to provide support beyond your means.
Ignoring deadlines won’t make them go away. Nor will it extend them. Procrastinate until the 11th hour, and you’re all but assured that your and your attorney’s work product will be rushed, incomplete, inferior, and weak.
Sometimes you can request an extension of time, but extensions are not guaranteed. Did you miss this deadline because of forces out of your control or did you just forget? You had better be ready to prove you have a good reason for an extension.
Meeting deadlines is of crucial importance. Your case’s success depends on it.
Deadlines are not “suggestions” and the work due by the deadlines is not busywork you can ignore without risking serious damage to your case or outright doing your case serious damage.
Most lawyers who have tried being divorce and family lawyers hate it and abandon it for other practice areas.
I can tell you why I chose to be a divorce and family lawyer:
it’s one of the few practice areas where I can provide value for the fees I charge for the work I do. Not every divorce attorney provides value for the money (Lord knows), but for attorneys who are honest, decent people, it’s easier to provide a good value as a divorce attorney than it is in any other practice area I’ve tried. Fighting for your kids is worth it! Divorce and family law practice is very hard work (there are much easier ways to make good money as a lawyer), but I don’t feel like a thief doing the work. If there’s a better way to provide value for the money than as a decent, honest divorce attorney, I’d love to know (I really would) what it is.
I have a talent for divorce and family law practice, and I am wired to handle what drives other attorney’s mad about divorce and family law practice.
Why I don’t like general civil litigation: When people ask me why I chose to be a divorce attorney I tell them the story of how people would come to me with problems like this: “X charged me $20,000 for _________, but _________ is defective, so how much would it cost me to sue X for this?” And I would tell them, “It’ll cost you about $20,000 to sue X, and even if you win AND collect the judgment (which is hardly guaranteed), then all you would do is break even. And collecting the judgment will usually cost you several thousand dollars more in attorney’s fees to find and obtain the money.”
Why I don’t like criminal defense: I found criminal defense work to be too discouraging because A) I don’t like defending guilty people; and B) I don’t like seeing innocent people get railroaded by the system (it happens more than I’d believed possible).
Why I don’t like criminal prosecution: Far, far too often it’s about getting a conviction, not getting to the truth.
Why I don’t like bankruptcy law: See why I don’t like criminal defense work.
Why I don’t like personal injury plaintiff’s work: Personal injury practice is cynically opportunistic and, in my opinion, is largely wealth confiscation masquerading as legal activity. Why I don’t like personal injury defense: It is, in my opinion, too often a game of trying to ensure that deserving people get little to nothing.
Why I don’t like collection work: See why I don’t like personal injury work.
Why I don’t like transactional legal work (things like writing contracts and estate planning documents): I thought that’s what I’d end up doing as a lawyer when I started law school, but when I participated in mock trials (which I did just to see what it was like), I found to my surprise that I liked it, and liked it a lot more than transactional legal work. I find the transactional work too boring to keep me engaged personally. We need good transactional lawyers, but it’s not work I’m best suited for myself.
You might be able to verify whether your lawyer is telling the truth about his/her winning record if the lawyer is willing to give you the information about the case number, the parties, and the opposing lawyer, so that you could—with that information in hand—inquire with the opposing party and the opposing lawyer to see whether they can verify what your lawyer claims is true.
One of the hardest documents for a Utah divorce litigant to prepare is the financial declaration. I am amazed at the number of clients who don’t take this document and its preparation seriously.
If you file for divorce or your spouse files for divorce, your divorce case will require you to provide a lot of documentation for various purposes as your life (and the life of your spouse and children, if you have minor children) will come under the magnifying glass. To avoid being fried like an ant, you need to produce complete and completely accurate documentation in preparing your financial declaration.
How is this done? It is a little comical, but it really comes down to accounting as best as you possibly can for every penny that comes in and that goes out. Every meal out. Every oil change. Every gasoline fillup. Every utility bill. Every dollar earned from every source.
Why should you worry about every red cent? Because you will be nickeled and dimed by opposing counsel and even by the court. Opposing counsel quite often (more often than not, frankly) wants to misconstrue confuse your income, expenses, and debts for his/her client’s benefit. The court often assumes that you are lying and/or wants to side with your spouse or against you. They are looking for any reason to call your credibility into question. And if you carelessly prepare your financial declaration, fail to provide an accurate financial declaration, and fail to support your numbers with verifiable documentation, you give opposing counsel and/or the court weapons to use against you.
“Ah,” some of you say, “but I want my financial declaration to be inaccurate so that I appear a lot poorer than I really am!” That way, if I’m the one who might pay alimony, I will pay less. And if I’m the one who might receive alimony, I will get more. Truth be told, it’s possible to lie in your financial declaration and get away with it. Truth be told, it’s harder than most people think. Truth be told, most people who lie (or who don’t lie but instead provide a half-baked, crappy financial declaration) get burned by it. Better to take the hit for being honest than risk an even bigger hit for lying. And do bear in mind that being honest is not a matter of “no good deed goes unpunished”. When you are honest, thorough, complete, and accurate in your work, that builds your overall credibility in your case. The person who owns up to his/her sins and sincerely repents gets due credit more often than not. The court thinks, “He/she was scrupulously honest in his/her financial declaration (even when he/she might could have fudged and escaped detection), so he/she is probably honest about the other things he/she tells me.” That’s more valuable than you know.
Now, if being honest always “won,” nobody would lie. You may experience your spouse lying through his/her teeth and getting away with it. It can and does happen. Still, it doesn’t justify you doing wrong or taking the risk of you being the one who gets caught in a lie or who gets hurt by turning in an incomplete and inaccurate financial declaration.
Lawyers’ reputation for lying is, unfortunately, well-founded. There is a Bosnian proverb, “He who will lie for you will lie to you.” Lawyers who lie for their clients (and there are plenty of them) have surely lied to their clients too.
Some do (if you can imagine an attorney doing something like that, it’s probably already been done), but they’re outliers, and they are violating both the law and the rules governing fitness to practice law if and when they do so.
If an attorney is actually (actually) violating the law or violating the rules governing the practice of law, you are not obligated to suffer it. Notify your attorney and bring the misconduct to the attention of the court, the police, and the bar.
That stated, one cannot simply and subjectively brand an attorney of being a stalker or of engaging in harassing behavior and thus establish the attorney as a stalker or harasser. It’s common for sore losers to make false accusations of harassment against an opposing party and his/her attorney. Why? Because it’s a cheap, risk-free way to cast aspersions and demonize and neutralize (if the accusations stick to any degree) the opposing party and/or his/her attorney. Don’t be that guy/gal. If you think you may feel “stalked” and/or “harassed,” before your start accusing, be honest with yourself and ask whether you’re truly being stalked and harassed or just feeling defeated, hurt, angry, anxious, and afraid and wanting to lash out.
The term for representing yourself in court is “pro se” or “pro per”.
Can you navigate the legal system successfully without a lawyer representing you in your case?
Before I became a legal assistant, I thought the answer to that question was, “Well, it won’t be easy, but how hard could it be, if I tried my best?” You’d be forgiven if you think that way too. Many people do. With the exception of a few who are so rare as to make them statistically insignificant, however, going pro se is a recipe for failure.
To win a case, you need admissible evidence and enough admissible evidence. Do you know (really know) whether you have admissible evidence and enough admissible evidence? If not, proceeding pro se puts you at risk of losing.
To win a case, you first need to know whether the law supports your position. Do you know the law? Can you cite the sections of code and what rules of civil procedure and rules of evidence that apply? Do they support your position? If not, proceeding pro se puts you at risk of losing.
To win a case, you need to present your evidence and your legal argument in compliance with the rules of court and in an engaging and persuasive manner. Do you know how to do that? If not, proceeding pro se puts you at risk of losing.
Even if you went up against a brand new, inexperienced lawyer, who would you bet on? Someone with a college education, plus three years of law school (maybe more), or someone who read some blogs and watched some YouTube videos? Now add 5 to 30 years of experience to the lawyer’s side of the ledger. Do you really think you’re on a level playing field?
Would you go into unfamiliar terrain without a guide? The legal profession, the legal system, and court proceedings are all unfamiliar territory, and you can easily get lost and hurt in unfamiliar territory.
And then there’s the problem that is not so intuitive: you’re not in the club. Most judges and lawyers resent people who believe they can do what legal professionals do. Even pro se litigants who have the evidence, the law, and the arguments down can still lose just because the judge and lawyers don’t want you getting uppity.
Pro se is a path that is not for the faint of heart. It will be an uphill battle at best. If you go the pro se route, you will face people who are more knowledgeable, more experienced, and more skilled than you are or can reasonably ever hope to be.
Your attorney cannot do what only you can do. Your attorney cannot answer questions posed to you until you provide your attorney with the information and facts needed to answer the question. Your attorney cannot produce your documents requested in the discovery process without you first producing those documents to your attorney.
The documents your attorney tells you that you must prepare for your case are, in fact, documents that you must prepare for your case. Failure to prepare them and to prepare them fully and accurately can and likely will result in severe damage to your case and you.