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A real client’s questions about divorce settlement and mediation

Here is a real client’s questions about divorce settlement and mediation. Don’t worry, I’ve removed the names and changed out the details to protect confidentiality. This client asked a lot of questions that frequently come up, so the client’s e-mail…

Why can’t family law court mediators have their custody reports challenged?

October 31, 2018

Mediation, Settlement

Why can’t family law court mediators have their custody reports challenged? In my jurisdiction (Utah), mediation is a completely confidential process. Mediators are statutorily barred from making a report to the court and cannot be compelled to testify by either…

What is Divorce Mediation, and How Does It Work in Utah?

October 26, 2018

Mediation, Settlement

Mediation is an alternative to traditional courtroom litigation.[1] Mediation can provide (but does not guarantee) a quicker, and often less expensive resolution for your divorce case. During mediation, the parties to a divorce meet with a neutral third party–a mediator–and…

A Spouse’s Questions about the Divorce Mediation Process

May 14, 2018

Attorney Fees, Coping With Divorce, Dirty Tricks, Divorce Attorneys, Divorce Costs, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Preparedness, Divorce Procedure, Mediation, Negotiation, Settlement

Questions: If we go to mediation, can I hire an attorney after to review the documents from mediation before I sign anything? What if I hire an attorney before we meet with a mediator? Do I have to tell the…

February 13, 2018

Dirty Tricks, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Preparedness, Divorce Procedure, Mediation, Negotiation

So many divorcing people pin so much hope on mediation and settlement. While a fair negotiated settlement is obviously desirable, negotiation is only as valuable as it is effective. With that in mind, read this and understand better when negotiation…

Look, I know you want to believe mediation is the magic pill for divorce but you’re missing a crucial point

January 18, 2018

Coping With Divorce, Dirty Tricks, Divorce Education and Orientation Courses, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Mistakes, Divorce Preparedness, Divorce Procedure, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Mediation, Men's Divorce Issues, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Women's Divorce Issues

Way too many mediators (whether of the collaborative stripe or other persuasion) insinuate that 1) divorce without mediation is doomed to anger and misery; and 2) merely engaging in mediation magically sucks the conflict from the room and opens stunning…

Can I Negotiate with My Spouse, If My Spouse Has a Lawyer?

October 13, 2017

Divorce Attorneys, Divorce Lawyers, Mediation, Negotiation, Settlement

Is there a legal remedy where an ex-husband and wife in the middle of a custody battle can speak freely and off the record through their lawyers without fear of what’s said being used against each other? If you are…

How can I speak freely and off the record with my spouse without what’s I say being used against me?

August 30, 2017

Divorce Law, Divorce Procedure, Evidence, Mediation, Negotiation, Settlement

QUESTION: Is there a legal remedy where an ex-husband and wife in the middle of a custody battle can speak freely and off the record through their lawyers without fear of what’s said being used against each other? ANSWER: If…

Am I required to hire a lawyer for divorce mediation?

May 11, 2017

Coping With Divorce, Divorce Education and Orientation Courses, Divorce Lawyers, Finances, Mediation, Premarital Counseling

divorce, documents, lawyer, mediation, planning, review

Question: Can I hire an attorney after to review the documents from mediation before I sign anything? What if I hire an attorney before we meet mediation? Do I have to tell the mediator that I have an attorney? Will…

Utah Divorce Timeline – Understanding How Long Divorce Can Takes in the Courts

April 6, 2017

Divorce Court, Mediation, Procedure and Evidence, Uncategorized

Divorce Court, divorce procedure, Utah Divorce Court, Utah divorce procedure

The time frames described in this timeline set forth the general sequence of a simple and typical Utah divorce action that goes to trial. Utah Divorce Timeline Unique and special circumstances, rules, or situations could (and likely would) alter the…

Selling Personal Service vs. Running “a Business”

November 5, 2016

Coping With Divorce, Divorce Lawyers, Mediation, Special Circumstances

divorce lawyer, dump off, hand off, personal service

Personal service is getting scarce. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Some services we’re happy to accept from a machine: a quick car wash, the convenience of an ATM. But some help (and the price paid for it) requires personal…

What to Do (not how to do it—that’s for a different article) Do to Negotiate Settlement in Divorce Successfully

February 9, 2016

Assets/Debt/Property, Divorce Court, Divorce Lawyers, Finances, Mediation

The value of settlement comes in resolving the dispute faster and more inexpensively than the litigation route. In most (not all) cases, it is better to compromise than to win the battles, but lose the war. Making compromise for the…

How to Represent Yourself or Make Limited Use of a Lawyer

January 6, 2016

Coping With Divorce, Divorce Court, Divorce Lawyers, Mediation

Divorce can be, and for most people, usually is to one degree or another overwhelming, complicated, and expensive. Many people choose to hire an attorney to represent them in divorce proceedings, but the law and the courts do not require…

Adultery and Divorce in Utah

January 6, 2016

Coping With Divorce, Divorce Court, Divorce Lawyers, Mediation

Some might say that Utah is backwards, a little too old fashioned for these modern times. “After all,” some think, “as long as sexual intercourse occurs between two consenting adults, what does it matter if one of the parties was…

The Key To A Divorce Settlement You Can Live With

January 6, 2016

Coping With Divorce, Divorce Court, Divorce Lawyers, Mediation, Uncategorized

“The fairest rules are those to which everyone would agree if they did not know how much power they would have.” — John Rawls You being fair and honest in your negotiation efforts does not weaken your ability to defend…

Why Not Create a Mediation Cooperative Among Utah Divorce Attorneys?

January 6, 2016

Divorce Court, Divorce Lawyers, Mediation

It would be a voluntary organization. Not everyone would need to join the cooperative, but those who do: Would have to have a minimum level of expertise, certain minimum qualifications, and commitment to standards of competency and fair dealing; and,…

Mediation Can Be Great, Just Go in with Your Eyes Open

January 6, 2016

Coping With Divorce, Divorce Lawyers, Mediation

Note: I am not anti-mediation and I never have been. I am anti-mandatory mediation. And I object to flawed and fraudulent arguments in favor of mediation. Appeals to authority (“courts agree with me”) and ad populum arguments (“people I lecture…

Divorce Mediation Needs to Up Its Game

January 6, 2016

Coping With Divorce, Divorce Court, Mediation

At the outset, know this: I am not anti-mediation. I am a trained mediator. I earnestly participate in mediation conferences with my divorce clients. Notwithstanding, the mediation profession at large needs to grow up and take a hard, honest look…

Mediation and Family Law – What You Need to Know

January 5, 2016

Coping With Divorce, Divorce Court, Divorce Lawyers, Mediation

There is much to know regarding mediation and family law, not all of it pleasant. Now that mediation is entrenched in the practice of law (particularly in family law), everyone in the system, from judges to lawyers to parties to…

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