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The way UT courts conduct custody evaluations nowadays is indefensible

The way courts in Utah conduct custody evaluations nowadays is indefensible. There is nothing in UCJA rule 4-903 (the rule governing custody evaluations) that requires a custody evaluation to consist of little more than educated guesses. Yet the custody evaluation process in…

How do I pursue child visitation when I don’t know where the child is?

I’m preparing to begin pursuing child visitation. However, the child’s mother has moved and never told me where, and has cut off contact with me. How can I find out where she is now, or would getting a lawyer to…

Why does paternity leave benefit everyone?

December 20, 2021

Co-parenting, Family Law, Parent Time, Parental Rights, Parenting Plan, Paternity

co-parenting, Father's rights, maternity leave, men, newborn child, parents, paternity leave, women

I’m not sure it does (and this comes from the father of four children himself). A little paternity leave would do no harm in most cases, but I’m not sure it confers any substantial or significant personal or societal benefits. …

How do I best explain to my daughters that I am divorcing their stepmom?

November 17, 2021

Child Custody, Children in Divorce, Divorce, Extramarital affairs/Adultery, Parent Time, Parentage, Stepchildren, Stepparents

adultery, affair, Children in Divorce, divorce problems, domestic case, parenting, stepchildren, stepparents

What is the best way for me to explain to my 3 daughters that the reason in which I am divorcing their Assistant Prosecutor stepmother is because I wouldn’t let her legally adopt them and that I had an affair…

How do I get custody back of my child if the custodial parent is not keeping the child safe?

The best way to phrase this question is as follows, “How do I get an order awarding custody of our child to me, if I assert as the basis for my petition that the custodial parent is not keeping the…

How Courts Can (and often do) Ensure There’s No Proof Joint Equal Custody Can Work

Here is an example of an important gotcha factor to be on guard against, if you are a good father being forced by the legal system to fight for joint equal custody (I do know that there are also mothers…

Why do I pay the child support knowing my kids are living in other countries?

Child support is for the financial support of your children, not a fee (or “ransom”) you pay to keep the children near you. Regardless of where your children live, they still require financial support. Simply living in another country or…

Pro-fairness and Pro-child

Pro-fairness and Pro-child Recently, public service YouTube channel I run (UFTLV – Utah Family Law TV – not run by or run to support Utah Family Law, LC) received a comment on this video: Do you think it’s fair that…

How does the legal system protect the visitation rights of non-custodial parents?

How? Not very well, generally. But before I elaborate, let’s ask and answer this question first: is the legal system designed to protect the visitation (“visitation” is also known as “parent-time”) rights of noncustodial parents? The answer to that question…

MacFarland v. MacFarland – 2021 UT App 58

July 16, 2021

Amicable Divorce, Child Custody, Child Custody Modification, Child Support, Child Support Calculation, Child Support Enforcement, Child Support Modification, Children in Divorce, Co-parenting, Cohabitation, Contempt of Court, Coping With Divorce, Court Orders, Custody, Dirty Tricks, Divorce, Divorce Court, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Mistakes, Divorce Preparedness, Divorce Procedure, Equitable Interest, Equity, Evidence, Family Law, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Joint Physical Custody, Judges, Justice and Equity, Legal System, Marital Home, Men's Divorce Issues, Modification of Alimony, Modification of Child Custody, Modification of Child Support, Modification of Decree of Divorce, Modification of Parent-time, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Noncustodial parents, Parent Time, Petition to Modify Decree of Divorce, Physical Custody, Preparing for Divorce, Special Circumstances, Spousal Support, Termination of Alimony, Uncontested Divorce, Utah Court of Appeals Decisions, Utah Court Rules, Utah Law, Women's Divorce Issues

§ 30-3-10.1, § 30-3-5, § 78B-12-108, § 78B-12-201, alimony, child custody, decree of divorce, joint physical custody, Modification, modifying, physical custody, Utah code

021 UT App 58 THE UTAH COURT OF APPEALS BRUCE RAY MCFARLAND, Appellant and Cross-appellee, v. NICOLE S. MCFARLAND, Appellee and Cross-appellant. Opinion No. 20190541-CA Filed June 4, 2021 Second District Court, Farmington Department The Honorable David J. Williams No.…

When flawed thinking is tragic thinking (thank goodness)

I frequently encounter comments made in child custody disputes to the effect that “courts favor the nurturing and detailed attentiveness of mothers over fathers.” I am as grateful for such comments as I am disheartened by them. Grateful because they reveal a common and recurring flaw in so many people’s thinking—and identifying the…

Do you agree with Brad Pitt winning joint custody of his children with Angelina Jolie?

I normally don’t comment on popular culture matters dealing with divorce, but for this question I will make an exception. I have no idea what kind of parents Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are. I don’t know what findings the…

How hard did you have to fight to get custody of your child after divorce as a father? What was the biggest problem you faced?

Allow me to start this answer by clearing the air a bit: First, there are many fathers who are clearly unfit fathers but who nonetheless believe the only or the “real” reason they are denied sole or even joint custody…

After a divorce, should my kids be with me or with the mom?

June 1, 2021

Abuse, Addiction, Adoption, Best Interest of the Child, Business Interests, Child Abuse, Child Custody, Child Custody Modification, Child Neglect, Children in Divorce, Coping With Divorce, Court Orders, Court Rules, Custody, Custody Evaluation, Dirty Tricks, Divorce, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Mistakes, Divorce Preparedness, Divorce Procedure, Domestic Violence, Emotional abuse, Equity, Evidence, Family Law, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Joint Legal Custody, Joint Physical Custody, Judges, Justice and Equity, Legal Custody, Legal System, Men's Divorce Issues, Modification of Child Custody, Modification of Decree of Divorce, Modification of Parent-time, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Motion Practice, Noncustodial parents, Parent Time, Physical Custody, Sole Custody, Unwed Parents, Utah Code, Utah Law, Women's Divorce Issues

child custody, fathers, joint custody, joint equal custody, legal custody, mothers, parent, parents

First, you need to understand that you’re asking the wrong question. Child custody is not a zero-sum game; otherwise stated, when parents divorce, or when unmarried parents separate, where you get the idea that the children must be in the…

Why is it OK for a parent to be given custody without their kids’ consent?

May 28, 2021

Best Interest of the Child, Child Custody, Child Custody Modification, Custody, Custody Evaluation, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Mistakes, Divorce Preparedness, Expert Witnesses, Family Law, Fathers' Divorce Issues, GAL (Guardian ad Litem), Holiday Parent-time, Joint Physical Custody, Judges, Legal Custody, Legal System, Men's Divorce Issues, Modification of Child Custody, Modification of Parent-time, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Noncustodial parents, Parent Time, Parental Alienation, Parental Fitness, Parental Rights, Parenting Plan, Women's Divorce Issues

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Why is it okay for a parent to be given custody without their kids consent or at least their input? This is a great question. I can’t speak for all lawyers, and the laws and rules governing what the courts…

Father has 50/50 custody. Now ex is trying to take it away. What to do?

May 7, 2021

Best Interest of the Child, Child Custody, Child Custody Modification, Child Support, Child Support Modification, Children in Divorce, Co-parenting, Coping With Divorce, Custody, Custody Evaluation, Dirty Tricks, Divorce Costs, Divorce Court, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Mistakes, Divorce Preparedness, Divorce Procedure, Family Law, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Joint Legal Custody, Joint Physical Custody, Judges, Justice and Equity, Legal Custody, Legal System, Men's Divorce Issues, Modification of Child Custody, Modification of Child Support, Modification of Decree of Divorce, Modification of Parent-time, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Noncustodial parents, Parent Time, Parental Alienation, Parental Fitness, Parenting Plan, Physical Custody, Sole Custody, Women's Divorce Issues

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I am a father who has exercised at least 50/50 custody with my ex. Now she’s trying to take me to court for full custody and me getting every other weekend visits. How can I avoid losing 50/50 custody? First,…

How do I console a father who has lost custody of his child?

April 27, 2021

Child Custody, Child Custody Modification, Custody, Custody Evaluation, Divorce Court, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Mistakes, Divorce Preparedness, Family Law, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Legal Custody, Legal System, Men's Divorce Issues, Parent Time, Parental Alienation, Parental Fitness, Parental Rights, Parenting Plan, Personality Disorders, Petition to Modify Decree of Divorce, Physical Custody, Utah Law, Women's Divorce Issues

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How do I console a father who has lost custody of his child? “He’s [the father who lost custody] permanently damaged.” That’s what someone else wrote in response to your question. It’s true. Time lost between a parent and child…

Good news, for parents deserving of joint equal physical custody

April 13, 2021

Best Interest of the Child, Child Custody, Child Custody Modification, Children in Divorce, Coping With Divorce, Custody, Custody Evaluation, Dirty Tricks, Divorce Court, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Mistakes, Divorce Preparedness, Family Law, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Joint Legal Custody, Joint Physical Custody, Legal Custody, Legal System, Men's Divorce Issues, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Noncustodial parents, Parent Time, Parental Fitness, Parental Rights, Parenting Plan, Physical Custody, Separation, Sole Custody, Termination of Parental Rights, Unwed Parents, Utah Law, Visitation, Women's Divorce Issues

2021, 2021 legislative session, basis, change of an existing custody award, children, criteria, deserving, effect, fighting, fit, good news, joint equal physical custody, May 5, new Utah Code section. § 30-3-35.2, parents, unfair, uphill battle, Utah Legislature

Good news, apparently, for parents deserving of joint equal physical custody of their children but who have, up until now, been fighting an unfair, unnecessarily uphill battle. The Utah Legislature passed, during the 2021 legislative session, a new Utah Code section.…

What would you do if your child’s father who is only entitled to supervised visitation filed for a modification of a court order so a family member you don’t approve of could supervise visits?

What would you do if your child’s father who is only entitled to supervised visitation filed for a modification of a court order so a family member you don’t approve of could supervise visits? Here’s what I would do: First,…

What are tips for parents sharing custody during COVID-19?

What are the different tips for parents sharing custody during this COVID-19? Best tip: don’t use COVID-19 as a pretext for withholding/preventing/sabotaging contact and care and communication between the children from the other parent. Don’t use COVID-19 as a pretext…

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