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Category: Parental Alienation

My spouse is threatening to take the children away, but I’ve done nothing wrong. What can I do to protect them and me?

What do you do when your spouse threatens to walk out and take the children even though you have been an equal and contributing partner in the marriage?

It is good that you are thinking about this now, because it is far easier to prevent a spouse from absconding with your children than it is to get them back after a spouse absconded with the children.

In answering your question, I will assume that:

  • these sorts of threats have been made by your spouse more than once up to this point, and that you take the threats seriously.
  • you have tried to discuss the problems in your marriage with your spouse, either just between the two of you or with the assistance of a marriage counselor of some kind (whether that be a mental health professional comma a minister or pastor comma or even a mutual friend you and your spouse both trust), and that those efforts have not helped you and your spouse resolve the problems you face.
  • You have met with people you trust to speak frankly with you, you have asked them if you are the problem, and you have honestly determined that while you are not perfect, you are not the reason for the troubles in the marriage.

If you have done these three things, then you have reason to be concerned, and you should take action to protect yourself and the children. Those actions include generally:

  • Find out if (and if so, how) you can legally attach a tracking device to your vehicles and to your children’s phones in case your spouse runs off or tries to run off with the children, so that you can more easily locate them. CONSULT WITH A LAWYER AND WITH A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU CAN LEGALLY DO. Every jurisdiction’s laws may be slightly different than in others, so you will need to speak with an attorney and a private investigator in the jurisdiction where you and your spouse and children are located.
    • This may make you feel apprehensive or devious, and if it does, good. That means that you have a conscience. You are not contemplating this because you are trying to do something evil or to take advantage of your spouse, you are trying to protect yourself and your children.
    • As soon as you understand whether you can legally track your vehicles, spouse, and your children legally, act. Get those legal tracking devices and/or the software installed immediately. This is one of those situations where hesitating could deprive you of seizing opportunity to track the children, so act sooner than later.
  • If you trust your own parents and siblings, confide in them and inform them that you are concerned that your spouse may try to abscond with your children promise so that if they notice anything unusual or suspicious, they can notify you immediately.
  • Teach your children how to use a phone and platforms for video conferencing (like FaceTime, Zoom, Skype, Google Meet, etc.). Teach your children who to call if they cannot reach you.
  • Monitor your spouse’s behavior for suspicious activity—AGAIN, BEFORE YOU DO THIS, MAKE SURE YOU CONSULT WITH AN ATTORNEY AND WITH A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR to ensure that your surveillance activities are not illegal. There is a right way and a wrong way to do this. If you think you cannot go to jail or prison for doing this the wrong way, you are mistaken.
    • If your spouse is fool enough to keep making oral threats to “take the children so that you never see them again,” record your spouse making the threats. Do not “entrap” your spouse into saying something you are trying to get him/her to say, but if the subject comes up naturally, get it recorded.
    • Is your spouse taking steps to frame you as an abusive parent and/or spouse? If so, document it. And keep the documents in a secure place or places, so that your spouse can destroy or alter them.
    • Is your spouse spending more time than normal on his/her phone or computer in secret? Is he/she now unusually and extremely protective of his/her privacy?
    • Has your spouse recently quit his/her job, or has he/she obtained a job without needing a job?
    • Is your spouse cutting ties with the local neighborhood and community?
    • Monitor bank and credit union and other financial account activity. That may help you notice whether your spouse is building up a war chest to use in absconding with the children and later filing for divorce and seeking sole custody of the children.
    • Keep an eye out for whether your spouse is purchasing items one would use if one were planning to move or go on an extended vacation. Is your spouse purchasing luggage? Getting the luggage he or she already owns and that the children own out of storage? Talking to and otherwise communicating more often than normal to relatives who live out of town or out of state or even out of the country?
    • Is your spouse talking about renewing the children’s passports or getting new passports for them? Make sure you have the children’s passports secured.
    • Is your spouse starting to express a lot more interest in airline points? Either knowing where they are, how many there are, or earning them or getting a credit card that awards them?
    • Know where your spouse’s parents, siblings, and close friends live. Know not only their residential addresses, but their work addresses and where they might have any vacation homes. Know their phone numbers and their e-mail addresses.
    • Make sure you have accurate and up-to-date identifying information about your spouse and the children, and keep it up to date every month or so.
      • Current photographs for each person.
      • Description of spouse and children by height, weight, age, eye color, and any unique distinguishing features for your spouse and children, such as scars, moles, tattoos, etc.
      • Photographs from all sides of the vehicles, including a clear photograph of the license plates and any unique distinguishing vehicle features.
      • Get a DNA sample of each of the children by suddenly expressing an interest in learning your family history, if you think you can sell that to everyone.
      • Get the children’s fingerprints if you can find a way to do so without attracting suspicion
  • Is your spouse suddenly engaging in “dry runs” by going on trips without you to visit relatives or claiming to be going on a “trip with my sisters” or a “trip with my friends for the weekend”?
  • Is your spouse planning to take the children with him or her on a “vacation” to visit your spouse’s parents (or a sibling of your spouse’s) and does not want you to come with him/her?
  • Prepare for divorce, and for a fight over child custody.
  • For most decent folks, secretly preparing for divorce—when they suspect that their spouses started plotting divorce already—makes them feel like villains. That is to be expected. Unfortunately, even when you are not in the wrong, there is no way to overcome that feeling completely. But overcome that feeling you must, or you may find yourself at an insurmountable disadvantage when your spouse files for divorce.
  • Find a good divorce lawyer and meet with him or her immediately. Not every lawyer who has a law license is a good lawyer. Not every lawyer with a license is an experienced and skilled divorce lawyer. So, make sure you shop around to find the best lawyer you can possibly afford. Now is not the time to pinch pennies or to jump over dollars to pick up dimes.
  • Document the fact that you are in every way a loving and fit parent who has a strong bond with your children. And make sure that your documents are safely secured, so that your spouse cannot find them and destroy them or alter them.
  • Gather the documents your attorney will need:
    • The documents that prove you are the children’s parent:
      • Birth certificates
      • Social Security numbers
      • Passports
      • Driver licenses (if applicable)
    • The documents that prove what you and your spouse have acquired during the marriage, what your respective incomes are, your assets (Financial and otherwise), debts and other obligations and liabilities, and what your personal expenses are on a monthly and yearly basis. To find out what information your attorney needs, hire an attorney. Your attorney will provide you with a checklist.
  • If you are concerned that your child is at risk of being abducted internationally, acquaint yourself with the International Child Abduction Prevention and Return Act (ICAPRA)

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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CPS Has Encouraged Parental Alienation Before My Parental Rights Have Been Taken, My Public Defender Has Not Been Representing Me the Way He Was Supposed to Be, but I Didn’t Know Until Now. What Can I Do?

There are plenty of things you can do (plenty of activity in which you can engage), but whether any of it will do any good is the question. The answer is usually: not likely. When child protective services (CPS) is working against you, then usually law enforcement and the courts follow suit, whether you’re “guilty” or not. If you have a public defender, then you’re poor, and while there is no shame simply in being poor, it limits your options in a fight like this.

All that stated, you need to fight with all you have for what’s right, or the regret and wondering “what might have been?” will surely torment you the rest of your life. You already know the outcome if you give up.

Now, pick your battles. Don’t run faster than you have strength, and don’t engage in “ends justify the means” tactics, but fight the good fight, so that if, some day, you confront your child who asks, “Did you try your best for me, Mom/Dad?,” you can answer in the affirmative.

Sometimes doing your best means kicking the bad habits, addictions, and mental health afflictions. The work on ourselves if often the hardest—not impossible (thankfully), but the hardest

I wish I had more for you, but this is the best I can offer.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/In-California-CPS-has-encouraged-parental-alienation-before-my-parental-rights-have-been-taken-my-public-defender-has-not-been-representing-me-the-way-he-was-supposed-to-be-but-I-didnt-know-until-now-What-can-I-do

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A.W. v. Marelli – 2024 UT App 8 – infliction of emotional distress

A.W. v. Marelli – 2024 UT App 8

THE UTAH COURT OF APPEALS

A.W., Appellant, v.  MILLIE MARELLI, Appellee.

Opinion

No. 20220207-CA

Filed January 19, 2024

Third District Court, Salt Lake Department

The Honorable Andrew H. Stone

No. 190902075

Michael W. Young, Alan S. Mouritsen, and

Adam Bondy, Attorneys for Appellant

Emily Adams, Freyja Johnson,

Hannah K. Leavitt-Howell, and James I. Watts,

Attorneys for Appellee

JUDGE DAVID N. MORTENSEN authored this Opinion, in which

JUDGES GREGORY K. ORME and AMY J. OLIVER concurred.

MORTENSEN, Judge:

¶1 AW[1] alleges that when, as a teenager, she accused her stepfather of sexual abuse, her mother, Millie Marelli, maintained the abuse did not occur and told AW to never speak of it again. But speak of it AW did—to her biological father, who reported the abuse to authorities. Ultimately, AW was removed from Marelli’s home, and not long thereafter she cut off all contact with Marelli. When Marelli allegedly persisted over a number of years in making unwelcome contact, AW sued Marelli, claiming negligent and intentional infliction of emotional distress as well as negligent sexual abuse. Marelli moved for summary judgment on all claims, which the district court granted on the basis that AW failed to establish the required quantum of proof on each claim. AW appeals, and we affirm.

BACKGROUND[2]

¶2        AW alleges that in late 2008 or early 2009—when she was twelve years old—her stepfather (Stepfather) sexually abused her. When Marelli was hospitalized for several days while undergoing a medical procedure, she left AW in the care of Stepfather. According to AW, she became scared of the dark and Stepfather invited her to sleep in his bed. Once in the bed, Stepfather put his hand inside her underwear and began touching her genitals.

¶3        Shortly thereafter, AW disclosed the incident to Marelli. Marelli asked Stepfather what had happened, and he said that he awoke with his hand on AW and immediately withdrew it. He explained to AW that it was an accident and apologized. AW says Marelli and Stepfather told her the abuse never occurred and not to speak of it again. Marelli did not report the incident to authorities. Approximately one week later, AW told her father (Father) about the incident. Father immediately filed a complaint with the Division of Child and Family Services (DCFS) and sought a protective order against Stepfather. DCFS made a supported finding that Stepfather presented a credible threat to AW’s safety, but DCFS did not find evidence to support a finding that Marelli failed to protect AW. Father was eventually awarded sole legal custody of AW.

¶4        In a sworn declaration, Marelli’s neighbor (Neighbor) stated that in late 2007 or early 2008, prior to the abuse AW alleged, she informed Marelli of an incident between her young daughter and Stepfather. Neighbor explained that her daughter came home from playing at Marelli’s house with writing and pictures on her buttocks in the handwriting of an adult. When she asked her daughter about it, her daughter said that she and Stepfather were playing a game where the winner wrote on the other person. Neighbor spoke with Marelli about it, and Marelli “became defensive,” denying Stepfather had “anything to do with it.” Marelli blamed Neighbor’s daughter for it, saying she had “offered herself” to Stepfather. Neighbor said her instincts told her to stop allowing her daughter to play at Marelli’s house.

¶5        Since losing custody of AW in 2009, Marelli and AW have not seen one another outside of some initial court-ordered therapy sessions and a few brief encounters. AW claims that Marelli’s alleged “denial [of the abuse] and victim blaming behavior are significant sources of [her] psychological disorders.” Over the past decade, Marelli has continued to contact AW by sending letters, birthday gifts, and Facebook messages. AW claims she has repeatedly expressed her wishes not to have any contact at all. In Facebook messages from 2011, AW responded to Marelli with “STOP TALKING TO ME UNTIL U GET RID OF [STEPFATHER]!!!!!!!” and “STOP IT I WILL BLOCK THIS I AM NOT AFRAID TO SO STOP!!”

¶6        AW submitted many examples of communication she received from Marelli over the course of more than ten years. Those communications included handwritten letters and some photos with messages written on them, such as the following, which we present unedited for grammatical errors:

  • [AW] give your mom a call with [heart drawing] always mom.
  • I am sorry that you have forgotten the moments when you had with [Stepfather] to be your dad. I hope someday you will remember with all my heart and soul I loved you and will always love you because you are my girly for eternity.
  • We all make mistakes in life, it is what we learn from them is the most important. Forgive yourself, forgive me I am truly sorry for all the many tears & fears you went through without your mothers warmest embrace . . . with love mom.
  • [Stepfather] sure misses being your dad [heart drawing] be kind be forgiving be of great courage.
  • Oh I miss my little girl that is all grown up. I love every min every hour every dam week month & year of your life. I hope to enjoy and embrace my lovely daughter again to look into your loving eyes and find you again. With love Mom.
  • All my children was mislead away from the true. I have been told recently that I am not in reality but you see Reality isn’t the truth.

¶7        Some of the photos sent to AW included pictures of both Marelli and Stepfather. Marelli also sent several publications and transcripts of public addresses from her religious leaders covering a wide range of topics.

¶8        AW also asserted that Marelli made two unwanted visits to her. The first occurred on AW’s sixteenth birthday, when Marelli went to her school. The second was on her seventeenth birthday, when Marelli went to AW’s house.

¶9        In 2019, AW commenced the present action against Marelli, claiming intentional infliction of emotional distress (IIED), negligent infliction of emotional distress (NIED), and negligent sexual abuse. Marelli moved for summary judgment on the three claims. Shortly after filing the summary judgment motion, Marelli sent AW a second box of letters, religious publications, and some of AW’s old toys. AW argues that even though service of the complaint put Marelli on notice that her conduct caused AW distress, she nonetheless sent AW the box full of additional communication. AW filed a supplemental opposition to the motion, arguing that Marelli sent the communication with knowledge that AW did not want any contact with her. Marelli moved to strike the supplemental opposition, arguing that the Utah Rules of Civil Procedure allow for only supplemental authority not supplemental facts.

¶10      The district court allowed the supplemental opposition “in the interest of justice” and considered it in its decision. The district court granted Marelli’s motion for summary judgment on all three of AW’s claims. On the IIED claim, the court concluded that Marelli’s conduct was not objectively outrageous. The court concluded that the NIED claim failed because AW did not show that Marelli’s conduct objectively amounted to the “type of conduct ‘especially likely’ to cause severe and unmanageable emotional distress.” Finally, on the negligent sexual abuse claim, the court concluded there was no support in the record that Stepfather had a history of inappropriate sexual behavior with children of which Marelli was aware or that Marelli’s failure to report the alleged abuse harmed AW. AW appeals.

ISSUE AND STANDARD OF REVIEW

¶11 On appeal, AW contends that the district court erred in granting Marelli’s summary judgment motion with respect to each of her three claims. We review a grant of summary judgment for correctness, giving “no deference to the district court’s legal conclusions.” Ipsen v. Diamond Tree Experts, Inc., 2020 UT 30, ¶ 7, 466 P.3d 190 (cleaned up).

ANALYSIS

¶12 Summary judgment is appropriate where the moving party shows that “there is no genuine dispute as to any material fact and the moving party is entitled to judgment as a matter of law.” Utah R. Civ. P. 56(a). We conclude that the district court properly granted summary judgment disposing of all three of AW’s claims against Marelli. We address the IIED, NIED, and negligent sexual abuse claims in turn.

  1. IIED

¶13      The district court concluded that Marelli’s conduct was not outrageous as a matter of law because all Marelli’s “voluminous” communications with AW “plainly represent attempts by [Marelli] to reconcile with her daughter.” AW contends that the district court erred because it (1) stepped into the role of the jury when determining that all the communications were an attempt to reconcile, (2) failed to consider other evidence of Marelli’s outrageous behavior, and (3) applied an unnecessarily restrictive test for outrageous behavior. But we agree with the district court.

¶14      In addition to elements not at issue here,[3] to succeed on a claim for IIED, a plaintiff must show that the defendant’s conduct “was outrageous and intolerable in that it offended generally accepted standards of decency and morality.” Prince v. Bear River Mutual Ins. Co., 2002 UT 68, ¶ 37, 56 P.3d 524 (cleaned up). Our supreme court in Retherford v. AT&T Communications of Mountain States, Inc., 844 P.2d 949 (Utah 1992), explained that “the standard Utah has adopted for determining whether the conduct of a defendant is sufficiently offensive to permit recovery is whether the defendant’s actions offend against the generally accepted standards of decency and morality.” Id. at 977 (cleaned up). The court clarified that this standard does not “weaken” that adopted by the Restatement (Second) of Torts, which uses the language “beyond all possible bounds of decency.” Id. at 977 n.19; see also Restatement (Second) of Torts § 46 cmt. d (Am. L. Inst. 1965). The court made clear that the use of the language “generally accepted standards of decency” was not a change in the standard but only an acknowledgment that “all possible bounds” is difficult for any court to determine. Retherford, 844 P.2d at 977 n.19The court emphasized that it “in no way softened the Restatement’s requirement of extraordinarily vile conduct, conduct that is atrocious, and utterly intolerable in a civilized community.” Id. (cleaned up). As made explicitly clear by the court, this standard still applies and is appropriate to apply in this case.

Conduct is not necessarily outrageous merely because it is tortious, injurious, or malicious, or because it would give rise to punitive damages, or because it is illegal. To be considered outrageous, the conduct must evoke outrage or revulsion; it must be more than unreasonable, unkind, or unfair. Indeed, in order to prevail on a claim for IIED, a plaintiff must be able to prove that the defendant engaged in extraordinarily vile conduct, conduct that is atrocious, and utterly intolerable in a civilized community.

Chard v. Chard, 2019 UT App 209, ¶ 57, 456 P.3d 776 (cleaned up).

¶15      On a claim for IIED, “it is for the court to determine, in the first instance, whether the defendant’s conduct may reasonably be regarded as so extreme and outrageous as to permit recovery.” Id. (cleaned up). “However, where reasonable [minds] may differ, it is for the jury, subject to the control of the court, to determine whether, in the particular case, the conduct has been sufficiently extreme and outrageous to result in liability.” Cabaness v. Thomas, 2010 UT 23, ¶ 36, 232 P.3d 486 (cleaned up), abrogated on other grounds by Gregory & Swapp, PLLC v. Kranendonk, 2018 UT 36, 424 P.3d 897. “[A] district court is not required to draw every possible inference of fact, no matter how remote or improbable, in favor of the nonmoving party. Instead, it is required to draw all reasonable inferences in favor of the nonmoving party.” IHC Health Services, Inc. v. D&K Mgmt., Inc., 2008 UT 73, ¶ 19, 196 P.3d 588. “An inference is unreasonable if there is no underlying evidence to support the conclusion.” Medina v. Jeff Dumas Concrete Constr. LLC, 2020 UT App 166, ¶ 21, 479 P.3d 1116 (cleaned up).

¶16      Looking at the “voluminous” examples of communication from Marelli to AW, we agree with the district court that the communications represent attempts—though at times poorly executed—of a mother to reconcile with her daughter. While statements such as “[Stepfather] sure misses being your dad” may not be the most sensitive way for Marelli to rebuild a relationship with her daughter, we cannot conclude that this and all the other communications can be reasonably said to violate “generally accepted standards of decency and morality.” See Prince, 2002 UT 68, ¶ 37 (cleaned up). It is well within the court’s authority to ascertain Marelli’s intent when reasonable minds could not differ, as is the case here.

¶17 When a claim for IIED involves allegedly “ongoing and continuous conduct,” the plaintiff “may recover for the entire course of [the] defendant’s conduct.” See Cabaness, 2010 UT 23, ¶ 27. Considering the whole of Marelli’s conduct—including the facts that the correspondence was unwanted, that Marelli made a couple of unwelcome visits to AW over the last decade, and that Marelli sent AW correspondence after the present lawsuit commenced—does not change our determination that Marelli’s conduct cannot be reasonably found to evoke the outrage or revulsion required to succeed on a claim for IIED.

¶18 The communications and even visits by Marelli to AW represent a mother’s attempt to build a relationship with her estranged daughter and, though insensitive at times, do not rise to the level of extraordinarily vile conduct required. Therefore, we affirm the district court’s grant of summary judgment against AW’s claim of IIED.

  1. NIED

¶19      AW also asserts that the district court erred in dismissing her NIED claim, arguing the court applied the wrong standard and overlooked contrary evidence.

¶20      Prior to 2018 in Utah, plaintiffs outside the “zone-of-danger”[4] had no means to recover for NIED. Mower v. Baird, 2018 UT 29, ¶¶ 75–85, 422 P.3d 837. Mower expanded “recovery for [NIED] in very limited circumstances” where “certain types of relationships, activities, and undertakings” exist that go to “the core of another person’s emotional well-being and security.” Id. ¶ 76. Because the case before us does not involve a zone-of-danger scenario, we apply the principles set forth in Mower. Under the Mower analysis, a plaintiff must establish that (1) the defendant owed a “traditional duty of reasonable care to the plaintiff” and (2) the “relationship, activity, or undertaking [is] of the type that warrants a special, limited duty to refrain from causing severe emotional distress.” Id. ¶ 78.

¶21 The second step requires an additional three-prong analysis asking the following:

(1) Does the relationship, activity, or undertaking necessarily implicate the plaintiff’s emotional well-being?; (2) Is there an especially likely risk that the defendant’s negligence in the course of performing obligations pursuant to such relationship, activity, or undertaking will result in severe emotional distress?; and (3) Do general public policy considerations warrant rejecting a limited emotional distress duty where prongs one and two would otherwise find one to exist?

Id. ¶ 80 (cleaned up).[5]

¶22 The district court considered solely the second prong of this analysis; however, we find that analysis unnecessary as AW’s claim fails on the first prong. The first prong is meant to ensure that the relationship, activity, or undertaking complained of is one “fraught with the risk of emotional harm to the plaintiff.” Id. ¶ 81 (cleaned up). The Utah Supreme Court has made clear that “this prong can be met only in those very limited situations where the emotional well-being of others is at the core of, or is necessarily implicated by, the relationship, activity, or undertaking.” Id. (cleaned up). The court did not delineate all possible relationships, activities, or undertakings that meet this requirement but instead indicated that courts should make this determination on a case-by-case basis with the recognition that this high threshold will be met in very few instances. Id.

¶23 As pointed out by AW, the court in Mower found that a nonpatient parent’s claim against the therapist who caused the parent’s child to develop false memories while treating the child for potential sexual abuse met this threshold as both an activity and relationship that implicates the parent’s emotional well­being. See id. ¶ 97. The Restatement (Third) of Tortsupon which our supreme court based this rule and upon which courts in other jurisdictions have relied—identifies NIED as actions such as the mishandling of a corpse, an erroneous announcement of a death or illness, a physician negligently diagnosing a patient with a serious disease, a hospital losing a newborn infant, an employer mistreating an employee, and a spouse mentally abusing the other spouse. See Restatement (Third) of Torts: Liability for Physical & Emotional Harm § 47 cmt. f (Am. L. Inst. 2012); see also Mower, 2018 UT 29, ¶ 70; see, e.g.Hedgepeth v. Witman Walker Clinic, 22 A.3d 789, 819–20 (D.C. 2011) (applying NIED to a patient receiving a false HIV diagnosis); Doe Parents No. 1 v. State, 58 P.3d 545, 580–82 (Haw. 2002) (applying NIED to a school reinstating a teacher accused of child molestation without sufficient investigation of the claim); Boorman v. Nevada Mem’l Cremation Society, 236 P.3d 4, 7–8 (Nev. 2010) (en banc) (applying NIED to mortuary’s negligent handling of a loved one’s corpse).

¶24      Such a relationship, activity, or undertaking is not present here. While sexual abuse, particularly within one’s own home, is a serious and clearly harmful occurrence for a child, the activity that AW argues supports her NIED claim is Marelli’s continued communications with her, including two brief visits, over the decade following the alleged abuse. While this activity, which we view as attempts by a mother to reconcile with her daughter, may evoke strong emotions, as the district court pointed out, it is not “fraught with the risk of emotional harm.” Mower, 2018 UT 29, ¶ 81 (cleaned up). The expansion of NIED in Mower was extremely limited to the narrow circumstances explained above, and allowing recovery here would expand that rule exponentially. An estranged relationship with a parent is too ubiquitous to meet the specific requirement set out by our supreme court that this rule will be met in very few instances. See id. Applying NIED to the facts before us would open the door to a seemingly endless number of possible circumstances where communication between a parent and child is strained, hurtful, or unwanted. Thus, the activity here does not rise to the level of those “very limited situations where the emotional well-being of others” lies “at the core.” Id. (cleaned up). We therefore affirm the district court’s grant of summary judgment against AW’s claim of NIED.

III. Negligent Sexual Abuse

¶25 AW argues that Marelli was negligent in preventing the alleged sexual abuse AW suffered because Marelli had previous warning about Stepfather’s “inappropriate behavior around children.”[6] The district court found legally insufficient support in the record for this contention—a conclusion with which we agree. To support this claim, AW relies on Neighbor’s declaration that Stepfather wrote on her daughter’s buttocks. AW argues that the district court inappropriately weighed and discounted the declaration, particularly by calling the declaration “one somewhat vague report of inappropriate conduct.”

¶26 In addition to other factors, a negligence claim requires foreseeable injury to establish whether a defendant had a duty “to conform to a particular standard of conduct toward another.” Normandeau v. Hanson Equip., Inc., 2009 UT 44, ¶ 19, 215 P.3d 152 (cleaned up). “What is necessary to meet the test of negligence . . . is that [the harm] be reasonably foreseeable, not that the particular accident would occur, but only that there is a likelihood of an occurrence of the same general nature.” Steffensen v. Smith’s Mgmt. Corp., 862 P.2d 1342, 1346 (Utah 1993) (cleaned up); accord Normandeau, 2009 UT 44, ¶ 20. Duty—which includes the issue of foreseeability—is “a purely legal issue for the court to decide.” Normandeau, 2009 UT 44, ¶ 17.

¶27 While summary judgment is appropriate only “when, viewing all facts and reasonable inferences therefrom in the light most favorable to the nonmoving party, there is no genuine issue as to any material fact and the moving party is entitled to judgment as a matter of law,” a plaintiff “is not entitled to build a case on the gossamer threads of whimsy, speculation and conjecture.” Kranendonk v. Gregory & Swapp, PLLC, 2014 UT App 36, ¶ 15, 320 P.3d 689 (cleaned up), cert. denied, 329 P.3d 36 (Utah 2014). “When the facts are so tenuous, vague, or insufficiently established that determining an issue of fact becomes completely speculative, the claim fails as a matter of law, and summary judgment is appropriate.” Hardy v. Sagacious Grace LC, 2021 UT App 23, ¶ 21, 483 P.3d 1275 (cleaned up); see also Nelson v. Target Corp., 2014 UT App 205, ¶ 25, 334 P.3d 1010 (“A plaintiff cannot avoid summary judgment based on doubtful, vague, speculative or inconclusive evidence.” (cleaned up)).

¶28 Although certainly disconcerting, the singular incident described in Neighbor’s declaration is not enough to make it reasonably foreseeable to Marelli that Stepfather would sexually abuse AW and thereby leaves AW’s claim in the realm of vague speculation, which is appropriate for summary judgment. First, the evidence AW points to suggests that the incident with Neighbor’s child was an isolated event. Second, writing on a child’s buttocks during a game, though deplorable and entirely inappropriate, is markedly different than lying in bed with and touching a child’s genitals under her clothing. See McGuire v.Cooper, 952 F.3d 918, 922–23 (8th Cir. 2020) (concluding that summary judgment was appropriate in a case involving a sexual assault as “the prior instances of sexual misconduct [were] not similar in kind or sufficiently egregious in nature to demonstrate a pattern of sexual assault”); Bjerke v. Johnson, 727 N.W.2d 183, 190 (Minn. Ct. App. 2007) (“The foreseeability of a sexual assault often hinges on whether the defendant was aware of prior similar behavior by the third party. Indeed, sexual assault will rarely be deemed foreseeable in the absence of prior similar incidents.” (cleaned up)), aff’d, 742 N.W.2d 660 (Minn. 2007).[7] Finally, AW points to no evidence that Stepfather had taken any liberties with or made any inappropriate advances toward her prior to the incident at issue here. See Doe v. Franklin, 930 S.W.2d 921, 924–29 (Tex. App. 1996) (concluding that summary judgment was not appropriate on a negligence claim where a grandmother left her granddaughter alone with the grandfather after the granddaughter told the grandmother he had sexually abused her).[8] Therefore, seeing insufficient evidence in the record that Marelli should have reasonably foreseen the threat of Stepfather sexually abusing AW, we affirm the district court’s grant of summary judgment on AW’s claim of negligent sexual abuse.

CONCLUSION

¶29 We conclude that the district court correctly granted Marelli’s motion for summary judgment, thereby disposing of all three of AW’s claims against her.

¶30 Affirmed.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277


[1] Dear Reader: Judge Mortensen recognizes that you may be accustomed to the use of periods after each letter when we use initials in place of a party or witness name. However, he chooses to depart from that practice now and in the future. Removing the periods is both space saving and easier on the eyes.

[2] We recite the facts of the case and draw all reasonable inferences in the light most favorable to AW as the nonmoving party. See USA Power, LLC v. PacifiCorp, 2010 UT 31, ¶ 33, 235 P.3d 749 (“[I]n a summary judgment proceeding, all facts and the reasonable inferences to be made therefrom should be construed in a light favorable to the non-moving party.”).

[3]  “In Utah, a claim for IIED is actionable if: (i) the defendant’s conduct is outrageous and intolerable; (ii) the defendant intends to cause emotional distress; (iii) the plaintiff suffers severe emotional distress; and (iv) the defendant’s conduct proximately causes the plaintiff’s emotional distress.” Chard v. Chard, 2019 UT App 209, ¶ 57, 456 P.3d 776 (cleaned up).

[4] The zone-of-danger rule set forth in section 313 of the Restatement (Second) of Torts allows a plaintiff within the physical zone of danger resulting from a defendant’s actions “to recover for emotional distress caused by fear for personal safety even though the plaintiff suffered no physical harm as a result of the defendant’s breach of duty.” Mower v. Baird, 2018 UT 29, ¶¶ 51–52, 422 P.3d 837 (cleaned up); see also Restatement (Second) of Torts § 313 (Am. L. Inst. 1965).

[5] The district court and parties have assumed a duty existed by moving directly to step two of the Mower analysis. Therefore, for purposes of this appeal, we do the same and move directly to the three prongs under step two. However, this is not an indication of whether a duty did in fact exist under step one of the Mower analysis in this case.

[6] In her complaint, AW asserted that Marelli’s failure to report Stepfather’s sexual abuse to the proper authorities also constituted negligence—a claim which the district court determined failed. AW does not raise this issue on appeal; therefore, we will not address it.

[7] To support her argument that Marelli should have foreseen the threat that Stepfather posed, AW cites O.L. v. R.L., 62 S.W.3d 469 (Mo. Ct. App. 2001), which states that “[a]s the gravity of possible harm from sexual molestation of a young child is high, we recognize that it may require a lesser showing of likelihood than with other types of injuries.” Id. at 477. However, in O.L., the court concluded that summary judgment was appropriate as the harm was not foreseeable where a grandmother left her grandchild with the grandfather, who then sexually abused the child. Id. at 481. The evidence presented included the fact that the grandfather physically abused the grandmother decades previously and broke her nose, which the child’s father knew about and considered “so remote in time that he had no qualms” with leaving his child in the grandfather’s care. Id. at 478–79. The parents additionally presented evidence that fifteen years prior to the abuse of the child, the grandfather subscribed to Playboy magazine for one year. Id. at 479. Finally, the parents relied on speculative evidence that the grandfather sought extramarital sexual liaisons through advertisements and at a social gathering. Id. The court concluded that the evidence presented was “so tenuous that it [could not] give rise to a genuine dispute as to whether a reasonable person knew or should have known that [the] grandfather might pose a danger to [the grandchild] if she was left unsupervised in his care, thereby breaching a duty of care.” Id. at 481. While the evidence here, namely the incident involving Neighbor’s daughter, is much more related in time and conduct to the abuse AW suffered, it is still tenuous as we have discussed and does not meet even a requirement of a “lesser showing of likelihood,” id. at 477, if that standard were to apply in Utah.

[8] 8. AW cites Doe ex rel. Pike v. Pike, 424 F. Supp. 3d 170 (D. Mass. 2019), to support her argument that a reasonable jury could conclude the harm of sexual abuse was reasonably foreseeable. The case is unpersuasive. In Pike, a granddaughter in the care of her grandparents suffered sexual abuse from her grandfather. Id. at 172. The court concluded that summary judgment was inappropriate because, viewing the evidence in the light most favorable to the nonmoving party, a jury could find that “a reasonable person in [the grandmother’s] position would have or should have known that [the grandfather] was abusing [the granddaughter].” Id. at 182. As AW points out in her brief, the court based this determination on such evidence as “[the grandmother’s] own observations of [the grandfather’s] conduct toward [the granddaughter] and their other grandchildren, including observing him playing the radio game [which involved twisting the children’s nipples], engaging in the tickle game to excess, being in the vicinity when the abuse occurred and ‘locking eyes’ with [the granddaughter] while she sat next to [the grandfather] on the couch and his hands were under the blanket hidden from view.” Id. This evidence involved multiple incidents and red flags that the grandmother chose to ignore, unlike the singular incident here when Stepfather allegedly wrote on Neighbor’s daughter. Furthermore, the Pike court additionally based its decision on the evidence, which AW fails to note, that the grandmother knew the grandfather had been accused of sexual assault previously. Id. With all this evidence taken into account, we do not view Pike as analogous or persuasive.

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In re A.S.G.-R. – 2023 UT App 126 – permanent custody and guardianship

In re A.S.G.-R. – 2023 UT App 126

THE UTAH COURT OF APPEALS

STATE OF UTAH, IN THE INTEREST OF A.S.G.-R.,

A PERSON UNDER EIGHTEEN YEARS OF AGE.

G.R.,

Appellant,

v.

STATE OF UTAH AND E.G.,

Appellees.

Opinion No. 20220645-CA

Filed October 19, 2023

Fourth District Juvenile Court, Provo Department

The Honorable D. Scott Davis

No. 1196726

Alexandra Mareschal and Julie J. Nelson,

Attorneys for Appellant

Sean D. Reyes, Carol L.C. Verdoia, and John M.

Peterson, Attorneys for Appellee State of Utah

Neil D. Skousen, Attorney for Appellee E.G.

Martha Pierce, Guardian ad Litem

JUDGE RYAN M. HARRIS authored this Opinion, in which JUDGES MICHELE M. CHRISTIANSEN FORSTER and RYAN D. TENNEY

concurred.

HARRIS, Judge:

¶1        G.R. (Mother) became convinced that E.G. (Father) was sexually abusing their daughter, A.S.G.-R. (Child). Over a nearly two-year period, Mother made or sparked some thirty reports of sexual abuse to Utah’s Division of Child and Family Services (DCFS). After investigation, however, DCFS was unable to discover any credible evidence supporting Mother’s allegations, and therefore did not substantiate any of them. And given the number and repeated nature of the reports, DCFS became concerned that Child was being harmed by the allegations and ensuing investigations, some of which had included invasive physical examinations of Child.

¶2        Eventually, the State filed a petition for protective supervision and obtained an order removing Child from Mother’s custody and placing her with Father. After affording Mother fifteen months of reunification services, including a psychological evaluation and therapy, the juvenile court determined that the services had not resulted in sufficient change to the situation and that Child would be placed at substantial risk if she were returned to Mother, and therefore terminated reunification services. And after a four-day permanency hearing, the court entered a permanent custody and guardianship order in favor of Father.

¶3        Mother now appeals, arguing that the court erred in its decisions to not extend reunification services and to award permanent custody and guardianship to Father. We discern no reversible error in those decisions, and therefore affirm.

BACKGROUND[1]

¶4        Child was born in January 2017. Mother and Father separated shortly before Child’s birth, and about two years later they finalized their divorce. In the decree of divorce, Mother and Father were awarded joint legal custody of Child, but Mother was awarded primary physical custody with Father having statutory parent-time.

¶5        Child welfare officials first became involved with this family in November 2018, when DCFS made a supported finding of domestic violence with Father as the perpetrator and Child as the victim. At some point during this same time frame, Mother obtained a protective order against Father, based on allegations that he committed domestic violence against her also.

¶6        Beginning in May 2019, Mother began to make accusations that Father was sexually abusing Child. Over the course of the next two years, Mother made at least eight direct reports to DCFS of alleged sexual abuse. In addition, Mother reported her allegations to various medical and mental health professionals, some of whom also made reports to DCFS based on Mother’s representations. In total, between May 2019 and February 2021, some thirty separate reports were made to DCFS that Father was sexually abusing Child. DCFS investigated these reports and could not substantiate any of them. In connection with some of these reports, Mother took Child to the hospital. During two of these visits, Child—approximately three years old at the time— was subjected to invasive physical examinations, including one “code-R” rape examination.[2] The examinations yielded no evidence of abuse, and in January 2020 DCFS representatives spoke with Mother about the potential harm that could result to Child from repeated unfounded allegations and needless forensic medical examinations. In addition, in April 2020 the “medical director of Utah’s [Center for] Safe and Healthy Families” program advised Mother that subjecting Child to “any further sexual assault examinations could result in an allegation of abuse for [Mother] due to the harm that unnecessary examinations can cause a child.”

¶7        During this time frame, and in an effort to expand Mother’s understanding of the relevant issues, DCFS opened a “voluntary services case” to provide Mother the opportunity to take advantage of certain services, and Mother agreed to work with DCFS to try to improve the situation.

¶8        During the pendency of the voluntary services case, however, Mother hired a private investigator to investigate the possibility of sexual abuse by Father, and she did not tell DCFS that she had done so. This investigator interviewed Child, using techniques the juvenile court later found to “violate[] nearly every guideline for child forensic interviewing,” including “ask[ing] leading questions, [making] promises to [Child] that could not be kept, and offer[ing Child] ice cream if she would tell the interviewer what ‘daddy’s secret’ is.”

¶9        Despite DCFS’s efforts to assist Mother, the voluntary services case did not have its desired effect. Mother proved unable or unwilling to follow the plan DCFS outlined, and she stopped communicating with the DCFS caseworker.[3] Eventually, DCFS closed the voluntary services case.

¶10 Sometime after that case was closed, Mother—in a continuing effort to present evidence that Father was sexually abusing Child—took a video recording of Child in an incident the juvenile court described as follows: Mother “videotaped [Child], naked on a bed, having her point to where [Father] touches her. On the video, [Mother] touches [Child’s] genitals and has her spread her legs and moves the camera angle close-up to [Child’s] genitals.” Mother provided a copy of this recording to DCFS, but caseworkers declined to view it “based on concerns that it may potentially contain child pornography.” Mother then provided the video recording to law enforcement.

¶11      In January 2021, Mother again brought Child to a hospital, alleging that Child “disclosed that [Father] had put his mouth on [Child’s] vagina just hours prior.” Another invasive physical examination was performed on Child, yet “no male DNA was found on [Child’s] genitals.” DCFS was informed about this incident, presumably from hospital personnel, and investigated it; the investigation included interviewing Child at the Children’s Justice Center. After completing its investigation, DCFS found “no corroborating evidence” and concluded that Child’s “disclosure was coached” and “not credible.”

¶12      The present case was initiated in March 2021 when Mother sought a protective order barring Father from having contact with Child, and the State responded by not only intervening in the protective order case but also by filing this action: a petition for protective supervision services in which the State asked the court to “discontinue” the protective order, conclude that Child was “abused, dependent, and/or neglected,” award DCFS protective supervision of Child, and allow DCFS to place Child in Father’s custody during the pendency of the case.

¶13      At a shelter hearing held about a week later, the juvenile court ordered Child removed from Mother’s custody and placed in the temporary custody of DCFS, which then placed Child, on a preliminary basis, with Father. Child has remained in Father’s care ever since.

¶14      Later, at a subsequent hearing, the court found, based on stipulation, that Child was dependent as to Father. With regard to Father, the court indicated that the primary permanency goal was “Reunification/REMAIN HOME,” and that the concurrent goal was “Remain Home with non-custodial parent.”

¶15      The court held an adjudication hearing as to Mother; at that hearing, Father and the guardian ad litem (the GAL) asserted that Mother’s conduct—making repeated false claims of sexual abuse, thereby subjecting Child to interviews, investigations, and physical examinations—constituted abuse, but the State argued only for a finding of neglect. After the hearing, the court found “no specific evidence” of harm to Child that could support a finding of abuse, but instead determined that Child “is neglected” as to Mother because Child “lacks proper care by reason of the fault or habits of [Mother].” For Mother, the court set a primary permanency goal of “RETURN HOME” and a concurrent permanency goal of “Permanent Custody and Guardianship with a Relative.” The court explained that it was setting “different permanency goals for each parent,” and that for Father, “the primary goal will be” for Child to “remain[] home with him,” with “the concurrent goal of reunification if she is removed from his care.” For Mother, the primary goal was “reunification, with the concurrent goal of guardianship with [a] relative.”

¶16 In connection with setting these permanency goals, the court adopted a Child and Family Plan (the Plan). Under the terms of the Plan, Mother was required to, among other things, “complete a psychological evaluation and follow through with all recommendations”; “participate in individual therapy”; participate in a “parenting class”; and “maintain stable and appropriate housing” for herself and Child. The Plan also required Mother to be “open and honest” in connection with the psychological evaluation, as well as with therapists and other mental health professionals. The Plan provided that its objectives would “be achieved when [Child] is living at [Mother’s] home” and when Mother “is providing a healthy, stable, and age-appropriate environment . . . that supports a strong co-parenting relationship with” Father. No party lodged any objection to the terms of the Plan or to the permanency goals the court set.[4]

¶17 Thereafter, Mother completed a parenting class as well as—after some delay that may or may not have been attributable to her—the required psychological evaluation. The psychologist who conducted the evaluation (Evaluator) diagnosed Mother with “unspecified personality disorder” characterized by “symptoms indicative of borderline, histrionic, and narcissistic personality disorders as well as paranoid-like features.” In particular, Evaluator noted that Mother has “a belief that she can only be understood by a few people,” a “sense of entitlement,” a “lack of empathy,” and a “pervasive distrust and suspiciousness of others” that leads her to sometimes “suspect[], without sufficient basis, that others are harming and deceiving her.” Evaluator offered his view that, “unless [Mother] overcomes her psychopathological features,” she “cannot act in [Child’s] best interest.” He noted that the “obvious recommendation” for Mother would be for her to “pursue an effective treatment program,” but he was doubtful that such a program would succeed in Mother’s case, because Mother “is convinced that she is not the problem” and because, “given her personality disorder features, . . . it would be hard for [Mother] to develop an effective psychotherapeutic alliance with her psychotherapist.”

¶18 Thereafter, DCFS sent Mother a list of recommended therapists, and Mother attended therapy sessions with at least three different mental health professionals. DCFS expressed concern that Mother “was seeking out multiple providers,” some of whom reported that Mother was attempting to “get a second opinion on the psychological evaluation,” and DCFS was worried that Mother was “continu[ing] to report” to these therapists “that [Child] was being sexually abused.” Because of this, DCFS harbored a “concern that there is no clear progress in therapy, due to minimal communication from providers, multiple providers involved and regular changes in therapy.” Mother maintains, however, that she “engaged in all recommended therapy,” an assertion no party apparently contests, although the record is far from clear about what the specific recommendations were and exactly how Mother complied with them.

¶19 After the psychological evaluation was completed, the parties appeared for a review hearing before the court. At that hearing, the results of the evaluation were discussed, and the court commented that, “if the case were closed today and things returned to how they were before the case, [Child] would be at risk of harm by” Mother. The court ordered that Child remain in DCFS custody and placed with Father, with whom the court stated it had “no safety concerns.”

¶20 As the twelve-month permanency hearing approached, Mother moved for an extension of reunification services for “at least 90 days.” Mother argued that she had complied with the Plan, in that she had completed the parenting class and the psychological evaluation and had engaged in therapy. In this motion, Mother also argued that the juvenile court could not enter an order of permanent custody and guardianship with Father, because the district court had already entered a custody order, in connection with the parties’ divorce case, and in Mother’s view the district court should be the court to enter and modify custody orders between the parents. Father opposed Mother’s motion for extended services, but the State did not register opposition. The court scheduled an evidentiary hearing to consider the matter. But due to problems with witness subpoenas, the evidentiary hearing needed to be postponed, which resulted in Mother’s motion for an extension of services being de facto granted: services were then extended for another ninety days, and the postponed evidentiary hearing was turned into a permanency hearing.

¶21      After these delays, the permanency hearing was held, over four nonconsecutive trial days, in April and June 2022. Child’s DCFS caseworker testified that she believed that Mother had been “coaching [Child] into telling people certain things.” And Child’s psychologist testified that she “did not observe significant behaviors or concerns, [or] emotions concerning expressions that would signal to [her] that [Child] has experienced sexual abuse.”

¶22      Evaluator testified at length during the trial, and discussed the specifics of his evaluation of Mother. He discussed his diagnosis that Mother had an “unspecified personality disorder.” He testified that the evaluation took longer than anticipated because Mother “did not involve herself in the evaluation in a forthright manner,” “withheld relevant information that was requested of her,” and “intentionally distorted information.” In his view, Mother did not think that she was the problem or that she had done anything wrong. Evaluator reiterated his view that unless Mother “overcomes her psychopathological features, [she] cannot act in [Child’s] best interest.”

¶23 During her own testimony, Mother continued to cling to her viewpoint that Father had been sexually abusing Child. She testified that “she does not agree with a doctor’s opinion that there was no evidence of sexual abuse.” When asked whether she “still believe[d]” that Father had sexually abused Child, she answered that she did not know, but that some “part of [her]” still believed that abuse took place, and that she still had “a suspicion” in that regard. She did not recognize any impropriety in her multiple reports of sexual abuse to DCFS and other authorities, testifying that she did not “think [she] was doing anything incorrectly” regarding the parenting of Child. And she did not agree that her behavior constituted neglect of Child.

¶24      In this same vein, Mother also called her ongoing therapist to testify at the trial. The therapist testified that he had spent some thirty hours of therapy with Mother and that she had been cooperative. The therapist opined, to the extent he was able to as a fact witness, that Evaluator’s diagnosis of an “unspecified personality disorder” was incorrect, that Mother had not neglected Child by reporting sexual abuse to the authorities, and that Father had indeed sexually abused Child.

¶25      At the conclusion of the trial, the juvenile court took the matter under advisement. A few weeks later, the court issued a written decision containing several different rulings. First, the court declined Mother’s invitation to further extend reunification services, and it terminated those services. Important to the court’s decision in this regard were its findings that—although Mother had taken certain steps, including completing parenting classes, engaging in therapy, and completing the psychological evaluation—Mother had not fully complied with the terms of the Plan, because even after all of these services, Mother “accepted virtually no responsibility for [Child] being in DCFS custody for more than one year,” “demonstrated virtually no insight regarding the harm she has caused” to Child, and offered “varied and conflicted” testimony “regarding whether she still believed” that Father had sexually abused Child, “despite there being no credible evidence that he has.” The court also determined that reunification between Mother and Child was not “probable or likely within the next 90 days” and that the extension of services was not in Child’s best interest.

¶26 Second, the court awarded “permanent custody and guardianship” of Child to Father. Important to the court’s decision in this regard were its findings that “return of [Child] to [Mother’s] care would create a substantial risk of detriment to [Child’s] physical or emotional well-being,” that there is “no credible evidence” that Father has ever sexually abused Child, and that Child “seems to be thriving and well-adjusted [and] well cared for” in Father’s care.

¶27 Finally, after denying Mother’s request for additional reunification services and granting permanent custody and guardianship in favor of Father, the court terminated its jurisdiction in the case.

ISSUES AND STANDARDS OF REVIEW

¶28 Mother now appeals, and she raises two issues for our consideration. First, she challenges the juvenile court’s decision to terminate reunification services. The juvenile court is “in the best position to evaluate the credibility of witnesses, the parent’s level of participation in reunification services, and whether services were appropriately tailored to remedy the problems that led to the child’s removal.” In re D.R., 2022 UT App 124, ¶ 9, 521 P.3d 545 (quotation simplified), cert. denied, 525 P.3d 1264 (Utah 2023). Accordingly, “absent a demonstration that the determination was clearly in error, we will not disturb the determination” to terminate reunification services. See id. (quotation simplified).

¶29      Second, Mother challenges the juvenile court’s decision to award permanent custody and guardianship to Father, her fellow parent. As part of this challenge, she takes issue with the court setting slightly different permanency goals for each parent, and with the court accomplishing two separate objectives—namely, choosing among those goals and awarding permanent custody to Father—all in connection with the same hearing. In the main, Mother’s challenges in this regard involve questions of statutory interpretation, which “are questions of law that we review for correctness.” In re S.Y.T., 2011 UT App 407, ¶ 9, 267 P.3d 930 (quotation simplified). But to the extent that Mother here challenges the court’s underlying factual findings, we adopt a more deferential standard of review. See In re L.M., 2013 UT App 191, ¶ 6, 308 P.3d 553 (“We review the juvenile court’s factual findings for clear error . . . .” (quotation simplified)), cert. denied, 320 P.3d 676 (Utah 2014).[5]

ANALYSIS

I

¶30      Mother first challenges the juvenile court’s decision to terminate reunification services. For the reasons discussed, we discern no clear error in the court’s decision.

¶31 When a juvenile court removes a child from a parent’s custody, it may afford the parent the opportunity to take advantage of certain services—e.g., mental health counseling or parenting classes—designed to address the problems that led to removal and aimed at facilitating reunification between parent and child. See Utah Code § 80-3-406. However, due to the need for swift permanence in child welfare cases, the duration of reunification services may not ordinarily “exceed 12 months” from the date of removal. See id. § 80-3-406(13)(a); see also id. § 80­3-409(6). A juvenile court may, however, extend reunification services by an additional “90 days”—for a total of fifteen months—if the court finds, by a preponderance of the evidence, “that (i) there has been substantial compliance with the child and family plan; (ii) reunification is probable within that 90-day period; and (iii) the extension is in the best interest of the minor.” Id. § 80-3­409(7)(a). And in exceptional cases, the court may extend services for a second ninety-day period—for a total of eighteen months— but only if the court can make those same three findings by clear and convincing evidenceId. § 80-3-409(7)(c).

¶32      In this case, Child was removed from Mother’s custody at a shelter hearing in March 2021. Thus, reunification services were to presumptively end in March 2022, unless the court made findings sufficient to support an extension. In early April 2022, the court commenced an evidentiary hearing for the purpose of determining whether reunification services should be terminated or extended but, due to problems with witness subpoenas, the evidentiary hearing needed to be postponed, which resulted in a de facto extension of reunification services for another three months, into June 2022. Finally, at the conclusion of the four-day hearing that same month, the court ordered that reunification services be terminated. In its order, the court—presumably out of an abundance of caution given the timing of the hearing—stated that it was “not able to find by a preponderance of the evidence, and certainly not by clear and convincing evidence, that [Mother] is in substantial compliance with [the Plan], that reunification . . . is probable or likely within the next 90 days, or that extension of services for [Mother] is in [Child’s] best interest.”

¶33 Mother challenges this decision, asserting that it goes against the clear weight of the evidence because, she asserts, she at least substantially complied with the Plan. We acknowledge that Mother did take certain actions that the Plan required, such as completing the psychological evaluation and participating in parenting classes and individual therapy, and we therefore agree with Mother’s assertion that she complied with many—if not necessarily all[6]—of the Plan’s individual requirements.

¶34      But even taking Mother’s assertion—that she completed all of the Plan’s individual subsidiary tasks—at face value, that does not necessarily compel the conclusion that Mother substantially complied with the Plan, because in this case Mother’s efforts did not bear fruit. That is, at the end of fifteen months of reunification services, Mother had not rectified the problem that led to the removal of Child from her custody. The Plan explicitly stated that its goals would be “achieved when [Child] is living at [Mother’s] home [and] where Mother is providing a healthy, stable, and age-appropriate environment . . . that supports a strong co-parenting relationship with [Father].” Child was removed from Mother’s custody because Child lacked “proper care by reason of the fault or habits of [Mother]” due to Mother’s continued unsupported reports to authorities that Father was sexually abusing Child. After fifteen months of services, the court—based at least in part on Mother’s own testimony at the evidentiary hearing— determined that the original problem still existed, and that Child could not therefore safely be returned to Mother’s custody. It is far from clear error for a juvenile court to determine that a parent who has completed many of a child and family plan’s individual requirements, but who has still not meaningfully addressed the underlying problem the plan was designed to solve, has not substantially complied with the plan.

¶35      Moreover, even if we were to assume, for the purposes of the discussion, that Mother’s actions constituted substantial compliance with the Plan, Mother must also grapple with the juvenile court’s findings that reunification was not probable within the next ninety days, and that another extension of reunification services was not in Child’s best interest. See Utah Code § 80-3-409(7)(a)(ii), (iii); see also In re H.C., 2022 UT App 146, ¶ 54, 523 P.3d 736 (“Although [the mother] subsequently complied with the child and family plan, the court nonetheless determined that [the child] could not safely be returned to her care because it found that the return posed a substantial risk of detriment to [the child’s] physical or emotional well-being.”), cert. denied, 527 P.3d 1106 (Utah 2023). While Mother spends many pages in her brief contesting the court’s “substantial compliance” finding, she does not directly engage with the court’s findings that, given her lack of progress on solving the underlying problem, she had not shown—by either evidentiary standard— that reunification was probable in the next ninety days or that reunification was in Child’s best interest. And based on our review of the record, we discern no clear error in these findings.

¶36      Accordingly, we discern no error, let alone reversible error, in the juvenile court’s decision to terminate reunification services.

II

¶37 Next, Mother challenges the juvenile court’s decision to award permanent custody and guardianship to Father. Her challenge in this regard is multi-faceted. First, she challenges the substance of the court’s decision, and asserts that the court—by considering its options limited to those set forth in section 80-3­409(4)(b) of the Utah Code—erred in its interpretation of the governing statute. And in connection with this argument, Mother asks us to overrule one of our recent opinions. Second, Mother challenges the procedure the court used in reaching its decision. For the reasons discussed, we reject Mother’s arguments.

A

¶38      Under our law, in any case in which reunification services are ordered, “the juvenile court shall, at the permanency hearing, determine . . . whether the minor may safely be returned to the custody of the minor’s parent.” See Utah Code § 80-3-409(2)(a). And “[i]f the juvenile court finds, by a preponderance of the evidence, that return of the minor to the minor’s parent would create a substantial risk of detriment to the minor’s physical or emotional well-being, the minor may not be returned to the custody of the minor’s parent.” Id. § 80-3-409(2)(b).

¶39      In this case, as already discussed, the juvenile court ordered reunification services for Mother, and therefore needed to confront, at the permanency hearing, the question of whether Child faced “substantial risk of detriment to her physical and emotional well-being if returned to [Mother’s] care.” In its findings and conclusions entered following that hearing, the court specifically found, by “both a preponderance of the evidence” and by “clear and convincing evidence, that return of [Child] to [Mother’s] care would create a substantial risk of detriment to [Child’s] physical or emotional well-being.” Mother does not directly challenge that finding on appeal.[7]

¶40      In situations where a juvenile court makes a finding of risk and therefore determines that a child cannot be returned to the parent’s custody, our law then requires the court to do certain things: “(a) order termination of reunification services to the parent; (b) make a final determination regarding whether termination of parental rights, adoption, or permanent custody and guardianship is the most appropriate final plan for the minor . . . ; and (c) . . . establish a concurrent permanency plan that identifies the second most appropriate final plan for the minor, if appropriate.” Id. § 80-3-409(4). As discussed above, the court terminated reunification services, and did not err by so doing.

¶41      The court then considered the three options presented by the second part of the governing statute: termination of parental rights, adoption, or permanent custody and guardianship.[8] See id. § 80-3-409(4)(b). The court determined that permanent custody and guardianship with Father was the most appropriate of those three options.

¶42      Mother challenges the substance of this determination, and she makes two specific arguments. First, she asserts that the statutory subsection the court believed governed the situation— section 80-3-409(4) of the Utah Code—doesn’t actually govern, because in Mother’s view Child was “returned to” a parent (Father) after the permanency hearing. Second, and relatedly, Mother acknowledges that one of our recent decisions—In re H.C., 2022 UT App 146, 523 P.3d 736, cert. denied, 527 P.3d 1106 (Utah 2023)—interpreted the governing statute in a manner unfavorable to her, and she asks us to overrule that recent case. We find neither of Mother’s arguments persuasive.

1

¶43 Mother’s first argument challenges the juvenile court’s interpretation of statutory text. In particular, she notes that a threshold requirement of the governing statute is that the minor not be “returned to the minor’s parent or guardian at the permanency hearing.” See Utah Code § 80-3-409(4). Only if a child is not “returned to the minor’s parent” at the permanency hearing does a court need to choose from one of the three options set forth in subsection (4)(b): termination, adoption, or permanent custody and guardianship. See id. If a child is “returned to the minor’s parent,” then a court presumably could select some other option not listed in subsection (4)(b). As Mother sees it, the statutory reference to “the minor’s parent” includes not only the parent from whom the child was removed and with regard to whom the “substantial risk” determination is being made, but also the child’s other parent. And she asserts that, because Child was placed in the custody of Father—Child’s other parent—after the permanency hearing, the court erred by considering itself limited to the three options set out in subsection (4)(b).

¶44      Our “overarching goal” in interpreting a statute is “to implement the intent of the legislature.” See State v. Rushton, 2017 UT 21, ¶ 11, 395 P.3d 92. In attempting to ascertain that intent, we start with “the language and structure of the statute.” Id. “Often, statutory text may not be plain when read in isolation, but may become so in light of its linguistic, structural, and statutory context.” Id. (quotation simplified). “The reverse is equally true: words or phrases may appear unambiguous when read in isolation, but become ambiguous when read in context.” Id. For this reason, “we read the plain language of the statute as a whole, and interpret its provisions in harmony with other statutes in the same chapter and related chapters, avoiding any interpretation which renders parts or words in a statute inoperative or superfluous in order to give effect to every word in the statute.” Id. (quotation simplified).

¶45 In our view, the phrase “the minor’s parent,” as used in section 80-3-409(4), refers only to the parent from whom the child was removed, who was offered reunification services, and to whom return of the child “would create a substantial risk of detriment” to the child. It does not refer to another parent with whom the child is currently placed, who has not been ordered to complete any reunification services, and with regard to whom the court has not made any “substantial risk” determination. Indeed, the thrust of this entire statutory section has to do with whether a child will be reunited with a parent from whom the child has been removed and who has received reunification services. See Utah Code § 80-3-409. As already noted, subsection (2) requires a court to make a threshold determination about whether the “minor may safely be returned to the custody of the minor’s parent,” something that may not occur if “return of the minor to the minor’s parent would create a substantial risk of detriment” to the minor. Id. § 80-3-409(2)(a), (b). The verb “returned” is meaningful here: one does not “return” to a situation in which one has never been in the first place. See Return,    Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/return            [https://perma.cc/Y4YF-3ENP]
(defining “return” as “to go back or come back again”). In the subsection (2) context, the phrase “the minor’s parent” clearly refers to the parent from whom the minor was removed, who received reunification services, and with regard to whom the “substantial risk” determination is being made; indeed, the statute instructs juvenile courts that are making the subsection (2) threshold determination to consider, among other things, whether the parent in question has demonstrated “progress” and whether the parent has “cooperated and used the services provided.” See Utah Code § 80-3-409(3)(a)(iv), (v). In our view, it would be nonsensical to apply this phrase to the minor’s other parent in a situation where the child was already in the custody of that parent at the time of the permanency hearing, where that parent did not receive reunification services, and where the court made no “substantial risk” determination concerning that parent at that hearing. Indeed, at oral argument before this court, Mother conceded that the phrase “the minor’s parent,” as used in subsection (2), must refer solely to the parent who received reunification services and with regard to whom the “substantial risk” determination is being made.

¶46 That same phrase—“the minor’s parent”—used two subsections later means the same thing. As noted, we read statutes as a whole, including all of their subsections, and “interpret [their] provisions in harmony with other statutes in the same chapter and related chapters.” See Rushton, 2017 UT 21, ¶ 11 (quotation simplified). Under “the canon of consistent meaning,” there is a “presumption that the established meaning of a word in a given body of law carries over to other uses of the same term used elsewhere within that same law.” In re Childers-Gray, 2021 UT 13, ¶ 142, 487 P.3d 96 (Lee, J., dissenting). And the “canon of consistent meaning is at its strongest when it is applied to a term used in neighboring subparts of the same statutory provision.” Irving Place Assocs. v. 628 Park Ave, LLC, 2015 UT 91, ¶ 21, 362 P.3d 1241; see also Barneck v. Utah Dep’t of Transp., 2015 UT 50, ¶ 31, 353 P.3d 140 (determining that a term “cannot properly mean one thing as applied to two of the objects in a series . . . but something else as applied to the other object in the same series”). Thus, when assessing the meaning of the phrase “the minor’s parent” in subsection (4), it is highly relevant how that phrase is used in subsection (2). And we conclude that, interpreted in its proper context, the phrase—as used in subsection (4) as well as subsection (2)—refers only to the parent from whom the child was removed, who received reunification services, and with regard to whom the court is making the “substantial risk” determination, and not to another parent who does not fit those criteria.

¶47      Accordingly, we reject Mother’s argument that subsection 409(4) has no application to her situation. By the plain terms of that statutory section, the juvenile court—as soon as it determined that Child could not safely be returned to Mother—was obligated to apply that statutory subsection according to its text.

2

¶48      Under the text of that statutory subsection, a court that has made a “substantial risk” determination must terminate reunification services. See Utah Code § 80-3-409(4)(a). At that point, the statute requires the court to “make a final determination regarding whether termination of parental rights, adoption, or permanent custody and guardianship is the most appropriate final plan for the minor.” Id. § 80-3-409(4)(b). The language of this statutory subsection therefore speaks of only three options, and requires the court in this situation to choose one of them. And we have recently interpreted this language according to its text, even as applied to disputes between parents. See In re H.C., 2022 UT App 146, 523 P.3d 736, cert. denied, 527 P.3d 1106 (Utah 2023).

¶49      Yet here, Mother nevertheless asserts that, at least in cases involving disputes between two parents, juvenile courts ought to be allowed to choose a different option: entry of a simple custody order that is controlled by the usual standards governing entry and modification of custody orders in divorce court. Mother asserts that awarding a parent the status of “guardian” makes no sense, given that a parent already has all the rights that a guardian has. And she asserts that entering orders of permanent guardianship as between parents has the effect—one she posits was unintended—of preventing one parent from being able to seek modification of the custody order.

¶50      To her credit, Mother recognizes that our recent holding in In re H.C. forecloses her argument for a fourth option. In that case, the parents of a child were divorced, with a parenting plan that gave primary custody to the mother. Id. ¶ 2. But later, the juvenile court determined that the child had been neglected by the mother, and the child was placed in the care of the father. Id. ¶¶ 4, 8. After the permanency hearing, the juvenile court determined that the child would be at substantial risk if returned to the mother’s custody, and the court placed the child with the father under an order of permanent custody and guardianship. Id. ¶¶ 28, 38. On appeal, we affirmed the juvenile court’s decision, and we interpreted subsection 409(4)(b) as limiting the juvenile court to the three options set forth therein. Id. ¶ 58. We held that subsection 409(4)(b) “leaves a juvenile court judge with no discretion” to do anything else, and we specifically stated that the statute “does not vest the juvenile court with the authority to defer to the district court” with regard to custody of the adjudicated child. Id. (quotation simplified).

¶51      In an effort to get around this roadblock, Mother asks us to overrule In re H.C. We do possess the authority to overrule our own precedent in appropriate cases. See State v. Legg, 2018 UT 12, ¶ 11, 417 P.3d 592 (stating that one panel of this court “retains the right to overrule another panel’s decision if the appropriate standard is met”). “But we do not do so lightly,” given our respect for the principle of stare decisis, which ordinarily requires us to defer to “the first decision by a court on a particular question.” See State v. Garcia-Lorenzo, 2022 UT App 101, ¶¶ 42, 44, 517 P.3d 424 (quotation simplified), cert. granted, 525 P.3d 1263 (Utah 2022).

¶52      “Before we may overrule one of our precedents, we must engage in the two-part exercise required by our supreme court in such situations.” Id. ¶ 45. “First, we must assess the correctness of the precedent, and specifically examine the persuasiveness of the authority and reasoning on which the precedent was originally based.” Id. (quotation simplified). “Second, we must assess the practical effect of the precedent, including considerations such as the age of the precedent, how well it has worked in practice, its consistency with other legal principles, and the extent to which people’s reliance on the precedent would create injustice or hardship if it were overturned.” Id. (quotation simplified). Both parts of the test must be satisfied before we may overrule a precedent. See id. In this case, we need not discuss the second part because, in our view, the first one is not satisfied.

¶53 With regard to the first part—the correctness of the precedent—Mother asserts that our decision in In re H.C. “upends the district court’s jurisdiction over custody matters and imposes an unnecessarily restrictive scheme on custody between two parents.” She points out that, when a child is placed with the other parent after a permanency hearing, “the child isn’t in ‘legal limbo’” and “all that is left to determine is what [the] custody [arrangement] between the parents will look like.” And she maintains that, if subsection 409(4)(b) is interpreted to require courts to order permanent custody and guardianship in favor of one of the parents, that result would serve to “override[] district court custody orders” and would create a “super sole custody” arrangement in which “the non-guardian parent can never modify the terms of the guardianship.” She asserts that this is an “absurd result” that “cannot be what the legislature intended.”

¶54 But in our view, the panel’s reasoning in In re H.C. was sound. There, the court analyzed the text of subsection 409(4)(b) and concluded that the language used by the legislature limited juvenile courts in this situation to the three options set forth in the text of the statute. See In re H.C., 2022 UT App 146, ¶¶ 58–59. Our analysis of that same text leads us to the same conclusion.

¶55      Moreover, Mother overlooks the fact that the panel in In re H.C. considered many of the same arguments that Mother is advancing here. In that case, the appellant asserted that “juvenile courts should not be deciding custody between two fit parents.” Id. ¶ 52 (quotation simplified). And the appellant complained that an order of permanent custody and guardianship in favor of the other parent may prevent her “from petitioning for custodial change in the future.” Id. ¶ 53. We rejected these arguments, in part, by noting that, given the court’s adjudication rulings, “this was not merely a custody proceeding ‘between two fit parents.’” Id. ¶ 54. And we acknowledged the remainder of these arguments in a footnote, editorializing that “it seems odd that, in a situation such as this with two parents vying for custody of a minor child, the statute authorizes the award of permanent guardianship to one parent over the other, where both enjoy parental rights in the minor child.” Id. ¶ 59 n.13. But we found these arguments nevertheless unpersuasive in light of the text of the “statutory regimen that we [were] called upon to interpret and apply.” Id.

¶56      We share the sentiment of the panel in In re H.C. that the text of the governing statute compels the interpretation described there. The text selected and enacted by our legislature limits juvenile courts to just three options in this situation. See id. ¶¶ 58– 59 & n.13 (stating that “permanent custody and guardianship is one of only three options available by the terms of the controlling statute when parental neglect has triggered the juvenile court’s jurisdiction and the case progresses to a permanency hearing at which parental neglect is found and reunification services are terminated”). If our legislature intended a different result, it can always amend the statute to provide for additional options—for instance, entry of a simple custody order awarding primary physical custody to the other parent, and allowing the district court to manage things from there—that a juvenile court might be able to apply in cases involving disputes between two parents. But for now, the text of the governing statute speaks of only three options, applicable in all cases, and we must apply the statute as written, Mother’s policy arguments notwithstanding.[9]

¶57 For all of these reasons, we decline Mother’s invitation to overrule In re H.C. That case—and the statutory text interpreted therein—compels the conclusion that the juvenile court, in this case, had only three options after concluding that it could not return Child to Mother’s custody: it had to either (a) terminate Mother’s parental rights, (b) work toward adoption, or (c) enter an order of permanent custody and guardianship with someone other than the parent at issue. See Utah Code § 80-3-409(4)(b); see also In re H.C., 2022 UT App 146, ¶¶ 58–59. The juvenile court, by selecting permanent custody and guardianship in favor of Father, chose one of the available options.[10] In so doing, the court properly followed the governing statute, and did not misinterpret it. We therefore reject Mother’s second substantive argument.

B

¶58      Finally, Mother makes two challenges to the procedure the juvenile court employed in arriving at its conclusion to award permanent custody and guardianship to Father. We reject both challenges.

¶59 First, Mother claims that the court acted inappropriately when it took the following two actions in the same ruling and after the same hearing: (a) it changed Child’s final permanency goal to permanent custody and guardianship and (b) it entered an order effectuating the permanent custody and guardianship. As Mother sees it, the court was required “to first change the permanency goals . . . and then hold a review hearing (possibly another evidentiary hearing) to determine whether the final permanency goal is established.” Mother notes that “nothing in section 409 permits a juvenile court to” accomplish both things in the same ruling and after the same hearing. But Mother cites no statute or appellate opinion forbidding the court from doing so and, in this situation, we see no reason why the court could not have proceeded as it did.

¶60 Had the court chosen “adoption” as the primary permanency goal following the permanency hearing, then perhaps Mother would have a point: as a practical matter, setting adoption as the goal entails a fair bit of extra work. To facilitate an adoption, the parent’s rights would need to be terminated, and to make that happen, the State (or another petitioner) would need to file a petition for termination of parental rights, which would need to be litigated. And the juvenile court would also need to concern itself, in the event the parent’s rights were terminated, with finding an appropriate adoptive placement for the child.

¶61 But where the court selects permanent custody and guardianship as the primary permanency goal, and the child is already placed with the person to whom custody and guardianship is to be given, there are not necessarily any additional steps that the court needs to take before making that goal a reality. Certainly, in this case Mother doesn’t identify any additional work that needed to be done in the interim. And as noted, Mother points to no statute or governing case forbidding the juvenile court, in cases like this one, from proceeding efficiently and entering the order of guardianship in the same order as it selects the primary permanency goal. Mother has therefore not carried her burden of demonstrating error.

¶62 Second, Mother takes issue with the juvenile court’s decision, earlier in the case, to set different permanency goals for each parent. As noted above, after adjudicating Child dependent as to Father, the court initially set the primary permanency goal, as to Father, as “Reunification/REMAIN HOME,” and the concurrent permanency goal as “Remain Home with non­custodial parent.” Later, after adjudicating Child neglected as to Mother, the court set a primary permanency goal, as to Mother, of “RETURN HOME” and a concurrent permanency goal of “Permanent Custody and Guardianship with a Relative.” The court explained that it was setting “different permanency goals for each parent,” and that for Father, “the primary goal will be” for Child to “remain[] home with him,” with “the concurrent goal of reunification if she is removed from his care.” For Mother, the primary permanency goal was “reunification, with the concurrent goal of guardianship with [a] relative.” Mother challenges this procedure as improper, asserting that this choice made “it additionally difficult for any parent to determine what the effect of abandoning one of the primary plans would be.” But Mother cites no statute or governing case forbidding the court from engaging in this procedure, and she overlooks the fact that she did not object to these goals when they were set. In addition, Mother does not articulate how the court’s decision to set slightly different permanency goals vis-à-vis each parent resulted in any harm to her at the end of the case. Accordingly, Mother has not carried her burden of demonstrating reversible error.[11]

CONCLUSION

¶63 We discern no clear error in the juvenile court’s decision to terminate reunification services. And we reject Mother’s challenges—both substantive and procedural—to the court’s award of permanent custody and guardianship to Father.

¶64 Affirmed.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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What Should I Do When a Family Court Judge Refuses to Look at My Evidence?

What should I do when a family court judge refuses to look at my evidence of abuse because my ex’s lawyer lied about me bringing it to him when I had a witness with me?

What you can or should do depends upon why the judge would not consider your evidence.

You say that the judge refused to review your evidence because the judge believed a lie that your ex’s lawyer told him (I presume) something along the lines of “Objection, Your Honor, I was never given a copy of these documents/photographs/recordings. I’m not prepared to address them.”

You claim that you can prove that your ex’s lawyer is lying because you had a witness with me when you delivered the evidence to your ex’s lawyer (I presume) well in advance of the hearing.

It appears that either the judge did not believe you, or, if you did not bring the witness with you to court, that the judge ruled that without the witness’s testimony the judge would not believe that you served your ex’s lawyer with the evidence, and thus would not allow you to present that evidence to the judge.

The lesson learned here?: when you deliver or serve documents/photographs/recordings to someone and need proof that you did so, use a method of delivery or service that provides an objective means of proving it. Have the lawyer or someone at his/her office sign for the documents/photographs/recordings when you or someone from the post office deliver(s) them.  Or you could email the documents/photographs/recordings to the lawyer, which would another way of proving that you delivered/served them. Another thing you could do is file a copy with the court which, though it does not objectively prove you delivered/served the documents on the lawyer, the point is that if you went to the trouble of filing them with the court, then it’s more than likely you also delivered/served them on the lawyer too. Another thing you or your lawyer should do is file a certificate of service with the court that you or your lawyer served/delivered them.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/What-should-I-do-when-a-family-court-judge-refuses-to-look-at-my-evidence-of-abuse-because-my-exs-lawyer-lied-about-me-bringing-it-to-him-when-I-had-a-witness-with-me

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From Pro Publica: Barricaded Siblings Turn to TikTok While Defying Court Order to Return to Father They Say Abused Them

There is far more to this story than the headline reveals.

From Pro Publica: Barricaded Siblings Turn to TikTok While Defying Court Order to Return to Father They Say Abused Them

https://www.propublica.org/article/parental-alienation-utah-livestream-siblings#:~:text=Two%20siblings%20in%20Utah%20have,had%20sexually%20abused%20the%20children

Is there any question whether the court would benefit from hearing testimony from these kids? Even if, arguendo, the court were to discover these kids are liars?

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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How Do I Handle a Narcissist Ex-husband in the Visitation of Children if I Have the Primary Custody? He Is Very Manipulative to Our Kids.

I generally wouldn’t recommend trying to get the assistance of the court to remedy this problem. The legal system is not designed to address this problem well, if at all. And even when it can do something worthwhile, the legal system does not generally address this problem well, if at all.

Let’s assume that if you were just given the opportunity to prove that your ex-spouse (and I’m going to approach this question as applying to a manipulative father OR mother) is manipulating your children, you could prove it in spades. With that in mind:

  1. If you ask the judge to interview the kids, odds are that the court will refuse to do so, coming up with all kinds of lame excuses as to why the judge “can’t” or “shouldn’t”. Most of these excuses stem from a belief that a judge interviewing the child will “traumatize” the children, yet these same judges seem to see nothing traumatizing about a guardian ad litem, custody evaluator, social worker, counselor, or therapist interviewing the children.
  2. But even if the judge were to agree to interview the children, by the time the court gets around to conducting the interviews, weeks—even months—may have passed from the day you made the request of the judge to interview the children. In that time in between, the manipulative parent could coach, bribe, and/or coerce the children into saying to the judge anything but the truth. And if the manipulative parent is the one requesting that the judge interview the children, the coaching, bribing, and/or coercion of the children could have been going on for weeks, months, even years before. These are often two of the excuses judges will cite as their basis for refusing to interview children. There is some merit to these excuses, but the solution is not refusing to interview the children, the solution lies in mitigating child manipulation.
  3. But even if you could somehow overcome the first two previously described obstacles and the judge eventually interviews the children, you may find the judge’s reception and analysis of the children’s testimony to be rather obtuse. Not always, but more often than you’d expect. Responses like, “The children tell me that Mom/Dad is regularly disparaging and telling the children lies about the other parent when the children are with Mom/Dad, but now that I’m aware of it, I trust that Mom/Dad will stop doing it, so I’m not going to make any changes” or “The children tell me that Mom/Dad is regularly disparaging and telling the children lies about the other parent when the children are with Mom/Dad, so I’m going to order Mom/Dad to stop doing it and take a parenting class. That ought to fix it.” I’m not sure judges who do this kind of thing believe it themselves but just do it to create the impression the matter has been addressed and “dealt with”.

If you are a parent with an ex-spouse who manipulates the children in an effort to alienate them from you, I have yet to find a quick, simple, easy, reliable way to combat and overcome parental alienation. If I did find it, I’d be a multimillionaire. There are many people out there who will tell you how to deal with and defeat alienation. A lot of this advice is appealing psychobabble. A lot of this advice is pandering to your fears, heartbreak, and anger. There must be some good advice out there as well. There are some common sense actions to be taken. There is value in meeting with a truly competent child psychologist to better understand the dynamics of parental alienation. But other than that, I’d be lying if I told you I could tell the difference between the wheat and the chaff.

What I can tell is that trying to beat parental alienation through the courts is, for the most part, a major waste of time, money, emotional energy, and effort. Sometimes the alienator’s behavior is so over the top that it can easily be identified and there are some remedies that the court can and should/must take in response. Otherwise, the best things you can do to mitigate and overcome parental alienation are those things within your legal, lawful, moral, and ethical control.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Is There a Way to Get Legal Action on Child Support for Free?

That does not bode well for you, if in fact the child will be in the courtroom at the same time you and the judge assigned to your case are in the courtroom (although it is not a common occurrence for children to be in the courtroom with a parent during child custody proceedings).

If a child is 3 years old and doesn’t recognize his/her parent, that raises the question of why?

Even if your explanation is “because the other parent hid/kept the child away from me!” and the explanation is in fact true, that’s a tough sell. Unless you have extremely good evidence proof to back your explanation, the court is likely to treat such a claim with skepticism (and can you blame it?). Be prepared to show that you bent over backward and moved heaven and earth trying to find, stay in contact with, and to care for your child (easier said than done, I get it, but that’s the way the system works); otherwise, the court is likely to conclude you are a flaky, absentee parent.

And if you are found to be a flaky, absentee parent, your odds of winning sole custody are slim to none, and your odds of winning joint custody aren’t much better.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

 

https://www.quora.com/What-if-my-3-year-old-does-not-recognize-me-in-court-during-a-child-custody-case/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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What Happens in a Custody Case Where Both Parents Try to Alienate the Child From the Other Parent and the Rest of Their Family?

My guess is that this question applies in two distinct contexts: 1) what does the court do in a child custody case where both parents try to alienate the child from the other parent and the rest of their family?; and 2) what happens to a child in a custody case where both parents try to alienate the child from the other parent and the rest of their family?

1) What does the court do in a child custody case where both parents try to alienate the child from the other parent and the rest of their family?;

It’s hard when a court has two lousy parents fighting over custody. Neither is bad enough to have his/her parental rights terminated and custody of the child awarded to the other parent, so the court finds itself having to make all kinds of compromises that the court knows are not likely to work.

Rarely can a court do much to help the child effectively. That’s not the court’s fault. Even the most conscientious court cannot compel bad actors to do good (or at least to do good consistently). . .

. . . but that doesn’t mean some courts think themselves an exception. Some judges believe the black robe and gavel magically imbues them with supernatural wisdom and power to make the horse drink. Such orders issued by such judges are rarely obeyed and rarely benefit the child. Indeed, they tend to generate a lot of litigation between the parents over “enforcement” of largely unenforceable orders, and the child often suffers collateral damage.

Other judges don’t want to live with the guilt of wondering, “Did I fail to do everything I could to protect the child from its lousy parents?,” and so they assuage their fears by issuing orders that appear to make the judges look good without those orders doing the child (or his lousy parents) much, if any good, i.e., ordering the parents to read books and watch videos, take “parenting” courses, and/or ordering the parents and children to engage in therapy and counseling.* In fairness, some judges issue such orders not because they believe they will work, not because they want to look compassionate and wise, but because they conclude that it can’t hurt and that such orders may cause the occasional parent to see the light. Fair enough.

2) What happens to a child in a custody case where both parents try to alienate the child from the other parent and the rest of their family?

First, remember that it’s not “parental alienation” if one parent acts shield a child from the harm that a dysfunctional and/or abusive parent would, in the absence of the protection, inflict on a child. Unfit, unrepentant parents forfeit (either legally or practicably) their hopes of and rights to a “relationship” with the children they neglect and/or abuse. Don’t misunderstand me: the ends do not necessarily justify any means, and one cannot be a law unto oneself, but fulfilling parental responsibility is not parental alienation.

So the question really is: what happens in a custody case where both parents who know better try to alienate the child from the other parent and the rest of their family? And the answer to that question is: the child is emotionally and psychologically abused grossly. All but the most exceptional children suffer the consequences of this heinous emotional and psychological abuse throughout the rest of their lives. Many (frankly most) who reach adulthood and have children of their own will end up being dysfunctional, neglectful, abusive spouses (if they ever marry) and parents themselves. Even the children who seemingly “overcome” or adjust for this abuse and who manage to live a normal life will, by and large, still suffer from and bear the burdens of the damage and pain.

—————

*Counseling and therapy can do some people some, even a lot, of good, but forcing counseling and therapy on parents is not nearly as effective as the courts seem to believe.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

(10) Eric Johnson’s answer to What happens in a custody case where both parents try to alienate the child from the other parent and the rest of their family? – Quora

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How Do You Prove Parental Alienation in a Child Custody Case?

Usually rarely and with great effort and difficulty.

Why? I have written other responses to this question and questions like it, so my answer here will be more concise than past answers, but I will still try to ensure that I touch upon all the important points as to why:

1. Parental alienation is hard to identify and define. Sure, there are some actions and inactions of a parent that are clearly and unmistakably intended to manipulate the child to fear or hate the other parent, to poison a child’s relationship with the other parent. But we don’t see that that often (either because, thankfully, most parents aren’t that malevolent or because the alienating parent is so good at evading detection and exposure).

  1. There are other forms of parental alienation that are milder or susceptible to more than one interpretation. There are actions that could or could not be instances of parental alienation. I cite just a few illustrative examples below:
  2. Is telling the child the truth about a parent’s flaws and failings parental alienation?
    1. Is it an instance of parental alienation to tell the child—truthfully (not falsely at all)—that the reason Dad didn’t pick the child up to celebrate the child’s birthday is because Dad’s a substance abuser and was passed out on the floor?
    2.  Is it an instance of parental alienation to tell the child repeatedly—(but without malice) and truthfully (not falsely at all)—that the reason Dad doesn’t spend scheduled time with the is because Dad’s a substance abuser and is always passed out on the floor?
    3. Is it better to tell the child the hard truths about a parent’s flaws so that the child can accept them or adjust to them sooner than later, or is it better to tell the child lies about the other parent’s flaws with the intent of protecting the child’s self-esteem? Or is there some middle course that must be taken in such a situation?
  3. Is “one person’s parental alienation another person’s mere freedom of thought and expression”? Is it parental alienation for a parent to criticize and mock the other parent’s political and religious beliefs (not criticizing or mocking the parent, but criticizing and/or mocking the beliefs)?
  4. Is it parental alienation to encourage a child to form a loving relationship with a stepparent?
  5. Is it parental alienation to refuse to send a child to spend time alone with an abusive parent when you know (not mere suspicion, you know) the parent is abusive but have no verifiable proof? Imagine the agony of having to choose between being punished (potentially cut off from your child and thus exposing the child to even more abuse) for disobeying court orders and causing your child to be abused by obeying court orders.
  6. You get the idea.

2. Parental alienation is hard to prove. See above. Parental alienation is not something courts like to address. See above. In some respects, parental alienation is hard to prove because parental alienation is not something courts like to address, and parental alienation is not something courts like to address because parental alienation is hard to prove. You see?

  1. And if and when some courts are lazy and apathetic, you can see how such courts would rather dismiss claims of parental alienation than wrestle with them.

3. False claims of parental alienation are so often made that it’s hard to determine whether the claims are sincere and easy to presume they are not. See above.

4. Parental alienation is hard to prevent or manage.

  1. So, let’s say you’ve proven to the court’s satisfaction that the other parent is engaging in parental alienation. Now what?
  2. Do we cut off the other parent from the child to protect the child from further parental alienation? Or would that do the child more harm than good?
  3. Do we try to grant the other parent access to the child under controlled/supervised conditions to ensure the child has as good and has healthful a relationship with the other parent as possible while simultaneously protecting the child from further parental alienation? Or would that do the child more harm than good? Or would that be so expensive as to be unsustainable?
  4. What if the other parent comes to the court and claims, “I see the error of my ways and I’ve changed?” Do we tell the other parent, “Too little too late” or “We can’t take the risk you’re not cured”? Do we reintroduce the other parent to the child? Relax or terminate the restrictions on the other parent’s contact with the child?
  5. Is trying to prevent or manage parental alienation a situation where court intervention makes a bad situation worse? Where the prescribed cure is worse than the disease?
  6. It’s tempting for a court to “conclude” that parental alienation has not been proven so that the court need not deal with it in crafting the court’s orders of legal custody and of physical custody and visitation/parent-time. See paragraph 2 above.

 

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

(10) Eric Johnson’s answer to How do you prove parental alienation in a child custody case? – Quora

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Can being a noncustodial parent improve the child-parent relationship?

Can being a noncustodial parent improve the child’s relationship with the noncustodial parent?

Recently, a reader on Quora, where I comment regularly, commented on a post of mine with this: 

Anecdotally: When my parents separated I felt I saw my father more because when they lived together simply being in the house was considered fathering. This is something I’ve heard from many fellow adult children of divorce. Suddenly Dad was actually doing something with us and having full conversations. 

I responded with this:  

Thank you for reading and for commenting. I don’t know you, your father, or your collective circumstances, but assuming generally that a father was neither abusive or neglectful (most fathers who become “noncustodial” parents in divorce are in this category), but the children were nevertheless deprived of being in the equal care and custody of their father and mother and Dad was deprived of equal custody of the children, how often do you think that a divorce awarding “sole” or “primary” custody of the children to one parent results in the children’s relationship with the other parent improving? To what degree did any aspect of the children’s lives improve? Right. Not often, not much. Indeed, just the opposite is the case.  

While there are some abusive, neglectful, and/or indifferent fathers out there, they are few and far between compared the vast majority of fathers. When fit, loving fathers (not perfect fathers, mind you) are cut off from their children by court order for even a few days, it is heartbreaking to father and children alike.   

Few parents had children without wanting to be there for them as much as possible and for them to be with that parent as much as possible. Although parental rights are not earned from the state or conditioned upon the state’s approval, that’s essentially how custody policy and law have come to function.  

Marginalizing a fit parent in a child’s eyes by reducing that parent to visitor, second-class, “backup” status necessarily marginalizes the child. “You don’t get the equal (i.e., the maximum) love and care of both parents, boy.” By depriving him/her of equal custody of his/her children with the other parent is to deprive the children of each parent exercising equal responsibility for the children, and to deprive the children of what is in their best interest. 

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

https://www.quora.com/From-a-lawyer-s-perspective-why-do-women-get-child-custody-almost-90-of-the-time-Is-there-really-a-bias-What-factors-come-into-play-when-deciding-about-it/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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Can a 16-year-old child choose not to have visitation with a parent?

Technically, no. Practicably/pragmatically, yes. 

Technically, a minor child (even a child of 16 years of age) does not have the legal right to choose whether he or she will comply with the parent time “visitation” scheduling orders that a court issues in a divorce or child custody case. But the courts find it difficult to enforce these parent time schedule orders as to the children. In other words, if a child won’t comply with the court’s parent time orders, usually courts do one of two things. Some courts “find” that they don’t have the power to compel a child to comply. This is not true, but by making such a finding that it has no power to coerce and compel a child to comply, the court is able to wash its hands of dealing with the enforcement question. More honestly, other courts find that using the powers of the state, such as arrest and incarceration, to coerce and compel a child to comply with its parent time orders does more harm than good, is more trouble than it’s worth. And it’s not like the parents have any realistic options to enforce parent time orders either. If a parent were to bar the door to his or her home to a child to compel that child to go spend parent time with the other parent, that child could simply dial 911 and report the parent for child abuse and neglect. So in short, if a 16-year-old child doesn’t want to comply with the court’s parent time schedule orders, that child will probably get his or her wish. 

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

https://www.quora.com/Can-a-16-year-old-child-choose-not-to-have-visitation-with-a-parent-in-full-custody-situations/answer/Eric-Johnson-311  

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Can an adult child be sued for helping one parent divorce the other?

Taking your question literally: 

Can? Yes. 

You can file a lawsuit for any “reason” or no reason at all. Crazy and/or malicious people file crazy/malicious/frivolous/unintelligible lawsuits all the time. 

Just because you can file a lawsuit does not mean, however, that you will prevail in court on your claim(s) made in your lawsuit. 

So is it possible to find some plausible legal basis for a cause of action by one adult child against a sibling who helps one of their parents divorce the other? I’m sure it is. 

Is it likely to succeed? No. 

But could it? Possibly, depending upon the legal solidity of the bases for the claim(s), the skill with which the pleadings are drafted and the legal arguments are made, how persuasively you or your attorney argue the matter, and how receptive your judge and/or jury are to your arguments. 

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

https://www.quora.com/Can-an-adult-child-be-sued-for-helping-one-parent-divorce-the-other/answer/Eric-Johnson-311 

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Why isn’t 50/50 custody the default resolution in child custody cases?

I have studied this question throughout my career, and I’ve been a divorce and family lawyer for 25 years. If there is one family law question to which I know the answer, it is this one. 

Eventually, a rebuttable presumption of 50–50 custody will become the norm. That change is happening now, although I am appalled at how slowly. 

There are many reasons why a 50-50 custody award is not the presumptive/default physical child custody award. I will list those reasons in the order of what I believe to be the strongest to the weakest. I do not mean that the strength of an argument depends upon how intellectually rigorous and honest the reason is. I mean how entrenched the reason is in society and in the legal culture. 

#1. Nothing else comes close: sexism. Any knowledgeable and experienced divorce and family law attorney will tell you that although sexism is not as strong as it once was a generation or two ago, it is still alive and kicking the butts of fit fathers who are denied the joint equal physical custody of their children. It is as shocking as it is terrifying as it is disgusting to see mothers and their lawyers make sexist arguments that the court’s still accept. Such as? 

  • Children, especially young children, need to spend more time with their mother than with their fathers. 
  • Women are born nurturers, more naturally competent parents than are men. 
  • Children are more strongly bonded to their mothers than to their fathers. 
  • (This one is particularly insulting) men who want more than minimal custody and parent time with their children do so to avoid having to pay child support. 
    • While it is true that some men don’t really want to be that involved in their children’s lives, yet seek sole or joint custody simply to reduce the amount of child support they have to pay without having any intention of engaging in the level of responsibility that a joint equal physical custodian should, to suggest that men in general want joint custody solely or primarily to save money is a pretty damn cynical view of men, not to mention a pretty damn false one. Think about it. If men wanting joint custody are motivated by greed, does that mean that women wanting sole or primary physical custody of their children are motivated by greed as well? 
    • We all know plenty of women who oppose a joint custody award and seek a sole or primary custody award precisely for the financial benefits primary or sole custody confers. It is unfair to presume that either mothers or fathers inherently seek a child custody award that is the most financially advantageous at the expense of their children’s emotional and physical well-being. 

#2. Unscientific and pseudoscientific principles (that are usually, though not always, invoked to mask the blatant sexism). Such as? 

  • Children should not be going back and forth like ping-pong balls between their parents’ respective homes 
    • There is some truth to this, but only under certain circumstances. The way I explain it to my clients and to legal professionals with open minds (few though there are currently) is that joint equal custody doesn’t benefit children if the parents live so far away from each other that the children don’t have access to the same group of friends and other familiar surroundings and resources. 
    • If mom and dad live many miles apart, the kids end up having no friends in either mom’s neighborhood or dad’s neighborhood. Here’s why: they are only in mom’s neighborhood half the time and only in dad’s neighborhood half the time. that makes it hard to make friends in either neighborhood. And so the kids often end up with no friends in either neighborhood. Certainly no close friends. They don’t go to church with the same kids on the weekends. While they may go to one school, if that school is in one parent’s neighborhood, then the kids don’t do anything with their friends after school on the days and weeks when they are with the other parent. 
      • Some parents and lawyers and judges think that the solution to this problem is having the children go to a school centrally located between moms and dads house. this almost never works well. the kids may have friends at school, but because they do not live in the neighborhood without school is located, their friendship is limited to the time they spend at school. 
    • Joint equal physical custody works best for children when the parents live within walking distance of each other, when the parents reside in the same neighborhood and school district and parish. Yet even when these circumstances exist, I’ve seen courts that still refuse to award of joint equal custody claiming that going back and forth between moms and dads house is a problem in itself, not a symptom of parents who live too far apart. 
  • joint equal custody makes it hard for kids to follow two different sets of rules in each parent’s home. What utter bilge. Sure, if the environments and rules in each parent’s home are so radically and catastrophically different from one another as to do the children harm, then perhaps joint equal custody can’t work. But such a scenario just doesn’t arise often enough to dismiss the idea of joint equal custody out of hand on this basis. The majority of parents are going to agree upon things like diet and bedtimes, and those parents who aren’t in total agreement will likely have rules and routines that don’t differ enough to do the children harm (such as bedtime at mom’s being 8:30 p.m. and bedtime at dad’s being 9:00 p.m., or mom may eat out with the kids more often than dad does— these are differences that are going to do the children long-term damage, if any damage at all). 

There is one legitimate reason why every child should not be in a 50–50 physical custody arrangement: when the circumstances of the parents and children are not conducive to a joint equal physical custody (50-50″) award. 

  • Sometimes the circumstances of one or both parents makes joint equal physical custody more trouble than it’s worth, of no benefit to the child, or even deleterious to the child. 
    • Work schedules and distance between the parents’ respective homes may not be conducive to the exercise of joint equal physical custody.

If a parent is unfit to exercise custody of a child, then that’s not really a problem with joint equal physical custody, but a matter of the parent’s incompetence. Holding father to a burden of proof that presumes them to be unfit until proven otherwise, is patently irrational, unconstitutional, and fundamentally unfair and gratuitously harmful to children and fathers alike. 

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

https://www.quora.com/Why-isnt-50-50-custody-the-default-resolution-in-child-custody-cases/answer/Eric-Johnson-311?__nsrc__=4&__snid3__=31406040166 

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What to do when child won’t comply with the custody award?

What will happen if the court ruled in favor of a mother to have the custody of her child but the child refuses to go with her and she prefers to stay with the father?

This situation (and this question) comes up a lot. I will answer the question as it applies in my experience to the jurisdiction where I practice divorce and family law (Utah).

SHORT ANSWER: The general rule of thumb is that if the child is a teenager and has the guts and the will to defy the court’s custody orders, then that child is going to live with the parent with whom he or she wants to live because the court is essentially powerless to force the child to comply with the child custody order, i.e., the court finds it more trouble than it is worth to enforce a child custody order against a defiant teen.

LONGER ANSWER:

Technically, the child has no choice in the matter, once the court has issued its child custody ruling and resulting orders. In other words, just because somebody doesn’t want to follow court orders doesn’t mean that he or she is free to disregard them or to act as a law unto himself or herself. This proves to be true of court orders pertaining to adults. Child custody orders, and the children affected by them, however, are in reality a different matter.

In the law we have two terms that help to describe the situation: de jure and de factoDe jure means that which is which applies as a matter of law. For example, as a matter of law, your child is ordered to spend most of his/her time in the custody of mother, with the father spending time the child on alternating weekends and a few odd holidays. De facto means that which is or that which applies as a matter of fact (in reality, and not as the court may artificially require). So while as a matter of law your child is required to live with mother, if in reality (as a matter of “fact”—this is where the “facto” in “de facto” comes from) the child refuses to live with mother and stays at the father’s house, that is the de facto child custody situation.

When A) the de jure and de facto situations conflict in a child custody situation, and B) the child is old enough, strong enough, and willful enough to continue to the court’s custody orders, the court often (not always, but usually) feels that they are practicably powerless to force children to live with a parent with whom they do not wish to live.

Normally, when an adult will not comply with the court’s order, One of the tools a court can use to enforce compliance is its contempt powers. Those powers include finding and jailing the noncompliant person. But with children, that power is, for all intents and purposes, nonexistent. Children usually have no money with which to pay a fine, and Utah does not allow courts to jail minors for mere contempt of court.

Some courts try to get creative and impose sanctions on a noncompliant child by essentially ordering them “grounded”, but again, if the child chooses not to comply, there is little the court can do or feels is wise to do to the child. I’ve seen a court try to get a child to comply by ordering her barred from participating in her beloved dance classes and driver education courses (so that she can’t get her driver license unless she lives with the court ordered custodial parent) as long as the child refused to live with the court-ordered custodial parent. In that case, however, the child outlasted the court, i.e., she kept living with the noncustodial parent and stopped attending dance and driver’s ed. classes. Then the court found itself in the awkward position of preventing the child from getting exercise and driving to and from her job and other worthwhile, even necessary activities, so the court relented (both in the best interest of the child and to save face). This is a lesson that most courts learn when they try to use the coercive powers of the court against children to enforce child custody orders.

Courts don’t want to dedicate their own resources and law enforcement resources to 1) literally dragging a child out of one parent’s home and literally stuffing the child into some other home; and 2) doing so repeatedly when the child refuses to stay put. It’s a waste of law enforcement resources and the fear is the child will eventually run away (and act out in other self-destructive and dangerous ways), if not allowed to live with the parent of his/her choosing.

And courts don’t want to punish a parent for the misconduct of a child. Some courts have tried to punish noncustodial parent by holding them responsible for their children’s noncompliance with the court orders, but that doesn’t work when the noncustodial parent truly isn’t at fault. Courts realize that a noncustodial parent cannot simply, for example, 1) push the child out the door, lock it behind the child, and wish the child well in subzero degree weather; or 2) manhandle the child into the custodial parent’s car, then be charged with child abuse. And punishing the noncustodial parent often only serves to lead the child to be more determined to defy court orders.

As you can imagine, a child’s “power” to choose where he/she lives usually does not arise until the child is old enough and strong enough and willful enough to exercise some degree of autonomy over which parent with whom he/she lives. That doesn’t usually happen until children reach approximately the age of 12 or 14, although some children may start younger. Children under that age are typically unable or too afraid to exert their own preferences and wills.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/What-will-happen-if-the-court-ruled-in-favor-of-a-mother-to-have-the-custody-of-her-child-but-the-child-refuses-to-go-with-her-and-she-prefers-to-stay-with-the-father/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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How do I pursue child visitation when I don’t know where the child is?

I’m preparing to begin pursuing child visitation. However, the child’s mother has moved and never told me where, and has cut off contact with me. How can I find out where she is now, or would getting a lawyer to find her address be better? 

Make sure that you conduct the search in a way that is legal and that does not constitute harassment or stalking. 

If a Google (and other search engines) search hasn’t uncovered the mother’s address, 

then I would move on to one or two of the online services that charge a fee to locate such information. Here’s a list of some: 

If that doesn’t work, hire a good private investigator. Note: private investigator quality varies widely. Make sure you don’t waste your money on a lousy P.I. 

You asked if hiring a lawyer is a good way to find your child’s mother’s address and other contact information. No. Lawyers generally have no such skills. When lawyers want to find this kind of information they . . . hire private investigators. But it would be wise to consult an attorney when you start this process of seeking a court order for visitation to ensure that you don’t violate any laws in searching for the mother and in seeking a court order of visitation. 

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

https://www.quora.com/20M-I-m-preparing-to-begin-pursuing-child-visitation-However-the-child-s-mother-has-moved-and-never-told-me-where-and-has-cut-off-contact-with-me-How-can-I-find-out-where-she-is-now-or-would-getting-a-lawyer-to-find/answer/Eric-Johnson-311  

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Parental alienation

I just read the following comment made by a viewer of my UFLTV parental alienation interview with Kelly Peterson. This viewer wrote, “So basically, parental alienation is proved by documenting the instances of alienation over a long period of time, so that by the time it’s proved, the alienation has achieved it’s end and irrevocably damaged the poor child. Seems about right for the joke that is family court. No wonder defense attorneys mock the hell out of it.” His frustration is understandable. Most people are hesitant to take immediate, decisive action, and courts are no exception (far from it). There is, of course, value in resisting the temptation to act hastily and rashly, but too often courts will try to justify plain old inaction with “restraint” and “deliberation”, especially in parental alienation settings. 

Parental Alienation with Kelly Peterson, Child Welfare Lawyer, Private Guardian ad Litem 

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Why is disciplining a child a sign of parental alienation in the long-term?

This is an example of a logical fallacy; specifically, begging the question. It assumes the conclusion in the premise 

It is not a given that disciplining a child is a sign of parental alienation in the long-term. 

Disciplining a child (whether physically or otherwise) does not inexorably cause parental alienation. My parents disciplined me, both with spankings and by grounding me or taking away privileges. This made me unhappy, but did not alienate me from either of my parents. 

It is possible for a parent to engage in excessive and/or inappropriate child discipline that will have the effect of alienating the child from that parent or (eve more tragically) from the innocent parent, but it is not a given that mere discipline of a child causes parental alienation. 

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

https://www.quora.com/Why-is-disciplining-a-child-a-sign-of-parental-alienation-in-the-long-term/answer/Eric-Johnson-311 

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Can an unemployed alienated parent be forced to help pay for a car for the child?

First, unless there is a statute or court order that requires a parent to purchase a car for a child, or that requires both parents to share the costs of purchasing a car for a child, it’s unlikely that a court could order a parent to purchase a car for a child or even to pay a portion of the costs of a car for a child.

In some jurisdictions, mine included, it might be possible, in the absence of an already existing statute or court order requiring a parent or parents to purchase a car for a child, to obtain a court order requiring that one parent or both parents purchase a car for a child, if it could be shown that the child needs a car to survive or perhaps to pursuant education and is unable to obtain that car without the parent(s) purchasing it.

You’ll notice to this point that I haven’t even mentioned the issue of parental alienation. This was intentional. And that is because 1) courts are reluctant to consider, much less acknowledge, the existence of parental alienation; and 2) even if a parent might be engaging in parental alienation, it’s hard to see how that issue could affect whether the child needs or does not need a car.

It may (may) be a valid argument that if a parent is alienating a child from the other parent, then it is fair to punish the alienating parent (or even the alienated child) by having the alienating parent bear all the costs of certain expenses for the alienated child (which punishment we also hope will motivate the alienating parent to stop alienating the child from the other parent and, under the right circumstances, motivate the child to stop giving the other parent the cold shoulder, i.e., if you want Mommy or Daddy to buy you things, then quit treating Mommy and Daddy like crap).

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/Can-an-unemployed-alienated-parent-be-forced-to-help-pay-for-a-car-for-the-child/answer/Eric-Johnson-311?prompt_topic_bio=1

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