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Do courts make awards in divorce to “punish” adultery?

Do courts make awards in divorce to “punish” adultery? Great question. Adultery is considered a fault-based ground for divorce and a factor that can be considered when the trial court decides matters of alimony, property division, and child custody. I…

When flawed thinking is tragic thinking (thank goodness)

I frequently encounter comments made in child custody disputes to the effect that “courts favor the nurturing and detailed attentiveness of mothers over fathers.” I am as grateful for such comments as I am disheartened by them. Grateful because they reveal a common and recurring flaw in so many people’s thinking—and identifying the…

Can I legally stop talking to my dad if he has custody (I live with my mom full time, but he’s still legally my parent as well)?

This is a good question because it deals with an issue that the law either has not addressed or cannot effectively address. First, is there any legally permissible and practicable way to force a child to talk with a parent?…

Do you agree with Brad Pitt winning joint custody of his children with Angelina Jolie?

I normally don’t comment on popular culture matters dealing with divorce, but for this question I will make an exception. I have no idea what kind of parents Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are. I don’t know what findings the…

How hard did you have to fight to get custody of your child after divorce as a father? What was the biggest problem you faced?

Allow me to start this answer by clearing the air a bit: First, there are many fathers who are clearly unfit fathers but who nonetheless believe the only or the “real” reason they are denied sole or even joint custody…

After a divorce, should my kids be with me or with the mom?

June 1, 2021

Abuse, Addiction, Adoption, Best Interest of the Child, Business Interests, Child Abuse, Child Custody, Child Custody Modification, Child Neglect, Children in Divorce, Coping With Divorce, Court Orders, Court Rules, Custody, Custody Evaluation, Dirty Tricks, Divorce, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Mistakes, Divorce Preparedness, Divorce Procedure, Domestic Violence, Emotional abuse, Equity, Evidence, Family Law, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Joint Legal Custody, Joint Physical Custody, Judges, Justice and Equity, Legal Custody, Legal System, Men's Divorce Issues, Modification of Child Custody, Modification of Decree of Divorce, Modification of Parent-time, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Motion Practice, Noncustodial parents, Parent Time, Physical Custody, Sole Custody, Unwed Parents, Utah Code, Utah Law, Women's Divorce Issues

child custody, fathers, joint custody, joint equal custody, legal custody, mothers, parent, parents

First, you need to understand that you’re asking the wrong question. Child custody is not a zero-sum game; otherwise stated, when parents divorce, or when unmarried parents separate, where you get the idea that the children must be in the…

Do judges sometimes feel overburdened by the responsibilities of their job?

Yes, and for good reason. First, let me be unusually but sincerely candid: many judges and many of the actions that judges take disappoint me. There are some excellent judges on the bench who are clearly skilled in the law…

I have custody of my child. He’s refusing to come home. What now?

May 19, 2021

Abuse, Addiction, Child Abuse, Child Custody, Child Custody Modification, Child Neglect, Children in Divorce, Co-parenting, Coping With Divorce, Court Orders, Court Rules, Custodial Interference, Custody, Dirty Tricks, Divorce, Divorce Court, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Mistakes, Divorce Preparedness, Divorce Procedure, Family Law, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Joint Legal Custody, Joint Physical Custody, Judges, Legal Custody, Legal System, Men's Divorce Issues, Modification of Child Custody, Modification of Decree of Divorce, Modification of Parent-time, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Parental Alienation, Parental Fitness, Parental Rights, Parenting Plan, Petition to Modify Decree of Divorce, Physical Custody, Sole Custody, Women's Divorce Issues

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I have custody of my child. He left to go to his mom’s last Friday for the weekend. He is refusing to come home because he wants to live there. What happens now? I will answer this question in the…

Child refuses to leave noncustodial parent’s house. What happens now?

May 14, 2021

Abuse, Addiction, Child Abuse, Child Custody, Child Custody Modification, Child Neglect, Children in Divorce, Co-parenting, Coping With Divorce, Court Orders, Court Rules, Custodial Interference, Custody, Dirty Tricks, Divorce, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Mistakes, Divorce Preparedness, Family Law, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Joint Legal Custody, Joint Physical Custody, Judges, Legal Custody, Legal System, Men's Divorce Issues, Modification of Child Custody, Modification of Decree of Divorce, Modification of Parent-time, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Parental Alienation, Parental Fitness, Parental Rights, Parenting Plan, Petition to Modify Decree of Divorce, Physical Custody, Sole Custody, Women's Divorce Issues

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I am the noncustodial parent. Our child came to my house for parent-time and now refuses to leave because he wants to live with me. What happens now? I will answer this question in the context of my experience as…

Father has 50/50 custody. Now ex is trying to take it away. What to do?

May 7, 2021

Best Interest of the Child, Child Custody, Child Custody Modification, Child Support, Child Support Modification, Children in Divorce, Co-parenting, Coping With Divorce, Custody, Custody Evaluation, Dirty Tricks, Divorce Costs, Divorce Court, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Mistakes, Divorce Preparedness, Divorce Procedure, Family Law, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Joint Legal Custody, Joint Physical Custody, Judges, Justice and Equity, Legal Custody, Legal System, Men's Divorce Issues, Modification of Child Custody, Modification of Child Support, Modification of Decree of Divorce, Modification of Parent-time, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Noncustodial parents, Parent Time, Parental Alienation, Parental Fitness, Parenting Plan, Physical Custody, Sole Custody, Women's Divorce Issues

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I am a father who has exercised at least 50/50 custody with my ex. Now she’s trying to take me to court for full custody and me getting every other weekend visits. How can I avoid losing 50/50 custody? First,…

Good news, for parents deserving of joint equal physical custody

April 13, 2021

Best Interest of the Child, Child Custody, Child Custody Modification, Children in Divorce, Coping With Divorce, Custody, Custody Evaluation, Dirty Tricks, Divorce Court, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Mistakes, Divorce Preparedness, Family Law, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Joint Legal Custody, Joint Physical Custody, Legal Custody, Legal System, Men's Divorce Issues, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Noncustodial parents, Parent Time, Parental Fitness, Parental Rights, Parenting Plan, Physical Custody, Separation, Sole Custody, Termination of Parental Rights, Unwed Parents, Utah Law, Visitation, Women's Divorce Issues

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Good news, apparently, for parents deserving of joint equal physical custody of their children but who have, up until now, been fighting an unfair, unnecessarily uphill battle. The Utah Legislature passed, during the 2021 legislative session, a new Utah Code section.…

What would you do if your child’s father who is only entitled to supervised visitation filed for a modification of a court order so a family member you don’t approve of could supervise visits?

What would you do if your child’s father who is only entitled to supervised visitation filed for a modification of a court order so a family member you don’t approve of could supervise visits? Here’s what I would do: First,…

Can a mother lose custody even if the child is still very young?

April 2, 2021

Best Interest of the Child, Child Abuse, Child Custody, Child Custody Modification, Child Neglect, Children in Divorce, Co-parenting, Coping With Divorce, Court Orders, Court Rules, Custody, Custody Evaluation, Dirty Tricks, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Mistakes, Divorce Preparedness, Divorce Procedure, Education, Evidence, Family Law, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Joint Legal Custody, Joint Physical Custody, Legal Custody, Legal System, Men's Divorce Issues, Mental Illness, Modification of Decree of Divorce, Modification of Parent-time, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Noncustodial parents, Parent Time, Parental Alienation, Parental Fitness, Parental Rights, Parenting Plan, Personality Disorders, Preparing for Divorce, Sole Custody, Stepchildren, Stepparents, Supervised Parent-time, Supervised Visitation, Utah Code, Women's Divorce Issues

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Can a mother lose custody even if the child is still very young? Are there any situations where a mother can lose custody even if their child is still very young (e.g., under 5 years old)? Oh, heck yeah. Many…

Judge says stay away from my paramour. Can judge do that?

Judge says stay away from my paramour. Can judge do that? I became pregnant by my paramour after my husband and I separated. The court order states we are not to have paramours around our child. Will the judge take…

Why do I pay child support if we have joint custody and we both work?

I know two people that separated and share custody and both have jobs yet he pays child support? How does this work? This is a great question and a question that many parents ask. I will answer it using the…

What are suggestions for modifying child custody for an alternating weekend schedule if Monday drop-offs are removed and weekdays are not an option?

What are suggestions for modifying child custody for an alternating weekend schedule if Monday drop-offs are removed and weekdays are not an option? Is this a trick question? Correct me if I am mistaken, but if the requirements and restrictions…

Why is it difficult for a father to get child custody?

February 13, 2021

Best Interest of the Child, Child Custody, Child Custody Modification, Children in Divorce, Coping With Divorce, Court Orders, Custody, Custody Evaluation, Dirty Tricks, Divorce, Divorce Attorneys, Divorce Court, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Mistakes, Divorce Preparedness, Divorce Procedure, Family Law, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Holiday Parent-time, Joint Legal Custody, Joint Physical Custody, Judges, Justice and Equity, Legal Custody, Legal System, Men's Divorce Issues, Modification of Child Custody, Modification of Decree of Divorce, Modification of Parent-time, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Noncustodial parents, Parent Time, Parentage, Parental Alienation, Parental Fitness, Parental Rights, Parenting Plan, Paternity, Petition to Modify Decree of Divorce, Physical Custody, Preparing for Divorce, Procedure and Evidence, Sole Custody, Uncategorized, Women's Divorce Issues

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Why is it difficult for a father to get child custody? Because there is a pernicious and false belief in far too many of the courts (not, notably, in society at large) that generally: mothers are better parents than fathers;…

2019 UT App 207 – Peeples v. Peeples – modification of child custody

January 7, 2020

Abuse, Best Interest of the Child, Child Abuse, Child Custody, Child Custody Modification, Children in Divorce, Co-parenting, Contempt of Court, Coping With Divorce, Custody, Custody Evaluation, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Mistakes, Divorce Preparedness, Divorce Procedure, Expert Witnesses, Family Law, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Findings of Fact and Conclusions of Law, GAL (Guardian ad Litem), Joint Legal Custody, Mediation, Men's Divorce Issues, Modification of Child Custody, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Negotiation, Parenting Plan, Physical Custody, Procedure and Evidence, Protective Orders, Restraining Orders, Sole Custody, Utah Code, Utah Court of Appeals Decisions, Utah Law, Women's Divorce Issues

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2019 UT App 207 – THE UTAH COURT OF APPEALS ADAM LEGRANDE PEEPLES, Appellee, v. ANNALEISE T. PEEPLES, Appellant. Opinion No. 20180713-CA Filed December 19, 2019 Third District Court, Salt Lake Department The Honorable Andrew H. Stone No. 044901980 Brian…

Burggraaf v. Burggraaf – 2019 UT App 195 – imputing income, vacating alimony

December 9, 2019

Alimony and Support, Appeal, Child Custody, Child Support, Child Support Enforcement, Children in Divorce, Co-parenting, Custody, Debts, Discovery, Division of Marital Property, Divorce and Taxes, Divorce Law, Divorce Preparedness, Domestic Violence, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Fault, Finances, Joint Legal Custody, Joint Physical Custody, Judges, Marital Home, Marital Property, Men's Divorce Issues, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Parent Time, Personal Property, Physical Custody, Property Division, Real Estate/Real Property, Sole Custody, Spousal Support, Utah Code, Utah Court of Appeals Decisions, Utah Law, Visitation, Women's Divorce Issues

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2019 UT App 195 THE UTAH COURT OF APPEALS CAROL BURGGRAAF, Appellee, v. BRIAN JOSEPH BURGGRAAF, Appellant. Opinion No. 20180405-CA Filed November 29, 2019 Second District Court, Ogden Department The Honorable Camille L. Neider No. 154902227 Julie J. Nelson, Erin…

How do I respond to parental alienation?

July 26, 2019

Child Abuse, Child Custody, Children in Divorce, Co-parenting, Coping With Divorce, Divorce Fears, Divorce Preparedness, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Men's Divorce Issues, Mental Illness, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Parental Alienation, Parental Fitness, Parental Rights, Physical Custody, Sole Custody, Women's Divorce Issues

What can a parent do if, after the divorce, the other parent who has custody of the child turns the daughter against that parent? A parent in this situation can DO a lot of things, but the question is not…

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