This is part two of the Boundaries discussion. We talked about boundaries, how to set healthy boundaries. This is a deep dive into the communication patterns of people who set and maintain boundaries successfully.
Many people in today’s society fear conflict and criticism. They believe that in any conflict they would lose and that any criticism would crush them. They feel that they have no right to impose their views – or for that matter, themselves – on the world. They have been trained from childhood to believe that their role is to accept and live up to the standards that other people impose. Being visible, being flawed, holding opinions, or having wishes of their own all leave them open to attack.
Let’s discuss some of the tactics people use to “unsuccessfully” live a fulfilling life.
The solution: To be there. Not to be perfect. To expose our flaws, our irrational emotions and opinions, our strange preferences, our incomprehensible dreams, our unaccountable tastes, and our all-too-human selves to others. To be there. Not so that others will bow down to us, or hide from us. But in a way that invites others to be there as well. A way that acknowledges the right of everyone to be every bit as irrational, flawed, and human as we are.
Assertiveness is all about being there.
Let’s have a fun evening discussion about assertiveness and how it ties in closely to the work we do in becoming integrated men.