Tag: abusive ex

How can I make my abusive husband divorce me?

Short of holding the proverbial gun to his head (i.e., forcing him to do so against his will), you can’t.  

While you might contrive to motivate your husband to file for divorce against you by committing marital fault yourself, that might cause the court to disfavor you when making the rulings and judgments in the divorce, so you don’t want to go that route.  

If you want your husband to be the one to file for divorce so that you can claim aggrieved/martyr status, you may have to wait a long time, if he ever does in fact file for divorce.  

The good news is that if you want a divorce in the United States you do not have to wait for your husband to file for divorce to obtain a divorce. You can file for divorce yourself, and you can do so without having to blame him for anything (this is what a “no-fault divorce is; obtaining a divorce without having to allege you or your husband is at fault). 

If you are afraid that you won’t be awarded alimony or child custody or some other thing or benefit in the divorce action if you file for divorce, that’s likely not the case (I can’t speak for divorce law in all jurisdictions, but I am not aware of any U.S. jurisdiction that “punishes” a spouse merely for being the one to file for divorce).  

Besides, if your husband is abusing you—AND YOU CAN PROVE THAT (as opposed to merely asserting it in a “your word against mine” situation)—then you’re not only well within your rights to be the one to file for divorce, you are clearly justified in filing for divorce. No decent court is going to fault you for filing for divorce to escape abuse.  

Go meet with an attorney. Find out more about how the law governing divorce works in your jurisdiction. Determine what your options are, balance the risks against the benefits. Learn what you can and should do to prepare for divorce as fairly and successfully as possible.  

Utah Family Law, LC | | 801-466-9277  

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How do I get an attorney to represent me against my abusive ex narc?

How do I get an attorney to represent me in court against my abusive ex narc who is filing for emergency custody of our children?

Two things (if the lawyer is a good lawyer, both in the senses of being a decent human being and worth his/her salt): 

  1. a strong case (or at least a case stronger than your ex’s case). A strong case means a case that can win (not merely being “in the right”; if you are in the right, but cannot prove it to the satisfaction of the court, being in the right doesn’t matter in court) 
  2. enough money to afford a skilled, vigilant attorney for the duration of the time that attorney’s services are needed. Without these things, it is unlikely you will find an attorney who will represent you. 

Utah Family Law, LC | | 801-466-9277 

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Can I get a restraining order against my abusive ex if we both use public transportation?

Do you mean to ask: “Can I get a restraining order against my abusive ex that prevents him/her from using the same public transportation as I do?”

If so, the answer is: probably not. Unless you can show that whenever your ex knows where you are, your ex abuses, attempts to abuse, or threatens to abuse you, the court would almost certainly not take such extreme measures.

Protecting you from legitimate and serious risks of abuse is one thing, but preventing your ex from using public transportation—assuming your ex needs to use public transportation to get to school, and/or work and/or , and/or the grocery store, and/or the doctor, etc.—would be overreaching. Instead, the court could still issue you a restraining order against your ex, but on a limited basis, i.e., not barring your ex from the same bus or train, but ordering your ex to avoid eye contact with you, not to speak to or gesture at you, not to sit next to you, and to move as far as possible to the back of the bus/train, for example.

Utah Family Law, LC | | 801-466-9277

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