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Tag: braxton mounteer

What Would I Have Done Differently If I Were In My Parents’ Shoes? By Braxton Mounteer, Legal Assistant

Like many people, I am a child of divorce. While I may not understand every reason why my parents chose to end their marriage (I was too young to understand at the time), I can look back on how I was raised, both pre- and post-divorce, and see what worked and what only caused problems. Hindsight is 20/20, after all.

I know that I cannot go back in time to do things differently, but if my experience might help divorcing parents who are contemplating these issues and help them avoid the difficulties and disappointments I encountered, this post will be among my best.

One of the things that affected me the most was how my divorced parents handled the matter of my clothes. Having two sets of similarly styled clothes might not have mattered to some people, but it always felt like a continental divide to me. I am the same person at both homes, but no matter what I did, I was never comfortable in either set of clothes. They always felt like I was borrowing clothing from a twin that I had just missed in passing.

My parents lived close enough that during major holidays, we did mid-day drop offs. On paper, this meant that I got two Christmases (and other holidays) on the same day. In reality, I was always late to the party. Always too early or too late to enjoy the holiday.

I love both my parents, but two Christmases gets old very quickly. I was surprised to find that as a child I had a limited amount of avarice during that particular holiday. Both parents want child-like wonder, and it always felt forced to drum up that much emotion for each holiday.

What I would have done differently (and what I did do when I was older) is use a suitcase. I combined both sets of clothing and made one set that I used all the time. It wasn’t the best solution to the problem, but it did help. To fix the holiday problem, I would adjust the schedule so that the holiday wouldn’t have been so taxing for my siblings and me.

Ultimately, the worst issues of my parents divorce are not something that I could have fixed as a child. For those issues I wish my parents would have come to me and my siblings together (parents together talking with their children together), to learn what our needs were and how they could meet them as best they could under the circumstances.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Why Your Witness May Not Be As Good As You Think By Braxton Mounteer

I recently went to trial with my boss for a divorce case. One of the things that stuck out to me was that quite often the witnesses people call in support of their claims and defenses aren’t nearly as helpful as they were expected to be. Why?

1)      Proximity of the witness to the parties or to the facts. I don’t mean physical proximity, but I do mean their personal relationships to the parties or to the events witnessed. These witnesses could be a mother, father, brother, sister, best friend, etc. Courts expect these kinds of people to be loyal, even to the point of a) being hopelessly biased and/or b) lying to help their friends/family members. Your mom’s not expected to be the most neutral or objective witness. Your brother droning on about how your spouse is the devil and you are a saint isn’t all that credible. I’m not saying such witnesses are worthless (you don’t want your mom or brother testifying against you, for example), but they aren’t the most helpful of witnesses.

2)      Your witness’s testimony isn’t engaging enough. A witness who testifies that he/she has never seen you treat your kids poorly is a witness who isn’t saying you treat your kids well. Yawn. A compelling witness is someone who witnessed you selflessly coaching the kids’ soccer team for years and who made a great impact for good in the team members’ lives. You want a teacher who can testify that you came to every parent-teacher conference and read with your child 20 minutes every night. You need that police officer who witnessed and arrested your spouse for trying to beat you with a bat. You need the boss who testifies what you are paid.

3)      Your witness didn’t witness anything first-hand. Your witness can’t get on the stand and tell the judge what he heard someone else say. That’s called hearsay, and with few exceptions, it’s not admissible as evidence.

What if you don’t have any witnesses beyond your immediate circle of friends and family? You can still call them as witnesses, and if they are credible people who don’t know a whole lot, you likely should call them as witnesses. No witnesses in your corner looks worse than mediocre witnesses who can testify believably of a few things.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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You Can’t Tell What The Judge Is Thinking By Braxton Mounteer, Legal Assistant

I recently accompanied my boss to the trial of a divorce case. If I had had to place a bet on what the judge was thinking at given moment or what the rulings would have been during the trial or at the end, I would have left the courtroom much poorer. One of the things that struck me most about trial was my inability to determine the importance a judge gives to the evidence and to witness testimony. I could not consistently predict which way the judge was leaning at any given moment. But it’s not solely a matter of my inexperience with the legal system. My boss (who has considerable trial experience) told me he encounters the same thing.

We believe this is intentional on the judge’s part, that judges deliberately wear a poker face (some better than others). If a judge expressively reacted to a piece of evidence or to testimony, it might give a false (or true) indication that the judge is favoring one party over the other.

An actual trial is not like the movies and television shows would have you believe (at least at a divorce trial isn’t). There was no audible gasp from one side or the other when a piece of evidence was entered. The lawyers don’t (at least not typically) swagger around the court room cracking wise or orating so as to bring the room to tears. It really was just the evidence and argument from one party versus evidence and argument of the other.

Now a judge being inscrutable is not to say the judge sits stone-faced and silent until the trial ended. The judge can and usually will make clear and candid statements occasionally during the trial. Sometimes the judge will ask a witness questions of his or her own, but sparingly (judges are discouraged from doing too much of their own questioning). And the judge obviously must rule on objections raised during the questioning of witnesses too. During recesses, the judges and attorneys and sometimes even the parties and witnesses may chat about sports or local news to unwind a bit from the tension that builds up over the course of the trial. Some judges will essentially let the lawyers go until the time runs out. Other judges may inform the parties and their lawyers whether the direction they are taking the case in isn’t all that useful to the court in reaching its ultimate decision.

The notion of “reasonable minds can differ” stands out in stark relief at a trial. Sometimes what the lawyer tries to persuade the court to do and what the court decided are the same, but other times what the court did with the evidence can really surprise you. Keep that in mind when you’re convinced that the judge could not possibly rule any way but the way you favor. The better you understand all the possible arguments, the more accurately, reasonably, and persuasively you can make yours.

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Is Court-Ordered Therapy Over-Used? By Braxton Mounteer, legal assistant.

Whether you believe that everyone needs (or could benefit from) therapy or that it is only for the most dysfunctional families, you, like most people, likely agree some therapy has a place in family law matters. For all the benefits of court-ordered therapy, however, therapy can be misused and abused.

For therapy to be effective in these kinds of settings, if you don’t have willing and earnest participation, it’s not going to work. It is hard work to confront your own faults and the faults of those who may have hurt you. It’s hard to better yourself. It’s hard to reconcile with past abuse, betrayals, and other kinds of mistreatment. One who is forced into therapy will, in most cases, refuse to participate or even actively oppose it. Is it any wonder why?

Courts often order too much therapy, with “too much” meaning either ordering therapy too often, or ordering therapy for too long. There are many reasons for this, but two of the worst are virtue signaling courts and greedy therapists.

Many judges and commissioners order therapy so that they can’t be accused of not being thorough, of not being sufficiently sensitive and caring and protective. This results in therapy being ordered even when it’s not needed or even warranted. It’s easy for courts to order therapy. It feels good. It’s a cheap, easy way for courts to look good. It doesn’t cost the commissioners and judges a penny to order therapy.

The point of ordering family members into therapy is rarely “eh, see if it helps.” Not everyone needs therapy. Some problems aren’t problems (or big enough problems) to warrant therapy. It’s likely a safe bet that most people might benefit from a little therapy. We’re all flawed. “Better safe than sorry” is tempting, but forcing people into therapy who aren’t dysfunctional can itself cause dysfunction.

I am referring to the emotional equivalent to scraping your knee. Those situations wouldn’t require the emergency room or physical therapy. However, when a court orders therapy left, right, and center, is making something that can help a lot of people into a hammer and every potential problem a nail.

You may say, “Well, even if the only benefit that therapy provides is a place to voice your problems, it is still better than nothing.” and you would be wrong. What if a child is handling the divorce well and putting him or her in therapy makes the child falsely feel he or she is being treated for a non-existent problem? Money wasted on needless therapy could leave one unable to pay for other needs in other aspects of one’s life and the life of one’s children.

If you are an aggressive and abusive husband or an emotionally abusive and cheating wife and your children take issue with that, it’s your fault. Therapy isn’t glue to keep your family together. You can’t expect someone to keep a ship afloat if you are constantly drilling holes in the hull. Sometimes you really are the problem and could benefit from facing and fixing your issues. When courts default to ordering therapy as a catch-all cure-all, they’re phoning it in. No one benefits from that. If you’re afraid to oppose therapy because you’re afraid you’ll be labeled anti-child or anti-caring, don’t be. If the court can’t make a cogent case that therapy is truly necessary or clearly warranted, have the gumption and courage to object. If you don’t, then you have no one to blame but yourself, if needless knee-jerk therapy is ordered in your case

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Should You Ask for a Psychological Evaluation in Your Divorce Case? By Braxton Mounteer

The point of a psychological evaluation isn’t to establish if someone merely suffers from any mental or emotional disorder or disorders, but to help determine whether such disorders, if they exist, render your spouse a danger to himself/herself or to your children, and/or whether your spouse is a pathological liar. In other words, if your spouse suffers from a mental or emotional disorder or disorders, are the disorders relevant to any issues to be decided in the divorce action?

If you’re contemplating a psychological evaluation, ask yourself why.
Is it because your spouse is genuinely unstable or deluded and not credible, or are you trying to embarrass, humiliate, or defame your spouse?

And FYI, if your attorney recommended a psychological evaluation, don’t let that be your own basis for seeking one. If your attorney cannot honestly explain to you the justification for a psychological evaluation, your attorney is likely just trying to get you to spend money.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Why Hiding or Misrepresenting Your Income in a Divorce and/or Child Support Court Case Won’t Work (and why people still try) By Braxton Mounteer

When those who realize they may be ordered to pay child and/or spousal support (alimony) confront the matter, many try to lie about and to misrepresent their income in the hope they can avoid paying, or at least pay as little as possible. Few involved in the support calculation effort–from the would-be support obligee (“obligee” means the one who receives support payments) to the court–believes anyone would tell the truth about his/her income, and this is doubly true for support obligors (“obligor” means the one who pays) who are self-employed.

Those who hope to receive child support are also tempted to lie about their income as well because the less income they can get the court to believe they have, the more they hope to be paid.

While it is tempting to lie about your income in the hope of either receiving more than you should or paying less than you should, that’s wrong (and it most likely would not work anyway).

Many will earn more than they claim to earn by getting paid under the table or working a side hustle.

But how do you enjoy the hard-earned cash that you have cleaned your name from (i.e., the Walter White problem)? If you spend the money you haven’t reported, you risk unraveling the lie. For example, if your personal expenses are $10,000 per month, but you report an income of only $6,000 per month and don’t show yourself incurring $4,000 worth of debt every month, then clearly you have income of some kind that enables you to cover your $10,000 of monthly living expenses.

Avoiding your legal obligations often proves to be more trouble than it’s worth. It is both easier and easier on your conscience just to tell the truth. Most people aren’t good enough liars to keep everyone fooled forever. Don’t give your children reason to hate you for being greedy.

Now, we get it: some of you would feel a lot better about paying child support if you knew the parent receiving the support money was actually spending it for the child’s support and not for that parent’s own selfish benefit. But that’s a subject for another blog.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Parenting before, during, and divorce litigation By Braxton Mounteer, Legal Assistant

Divorce is already hard enough on the parties involved, but it is even harder on the children of the recently separated family. I speak as a child of divorce, who had to live through it and who has experienced the effect that divorce has had on me and on and my siblings.

When your divorce is contentious or negotiations have broken down, you shouldn’t use your children as messengers between your spouse and you on divorce-related subjects. Your children are not the proper avenue of communication between you and your estranged or ex-spouse.  You’re the adult. Communicate like one.

The worst thing you can do is force your children to choose sides. Forcing your children to pick a side causes damage that may be irreparable. This isn’t just forcing Tim and Susan to choose to live with Mom or Dad. How confident are you that they would choose you anyway (or for how long)? For all of your and your spouse’s faults and failings, you are the children’s parents and your children need you to work (and deserve to have you work) together for the children’s benefit. You need to start (if you have not already started) acting in your children’s best interest and stop thinking of them as problems and/or as solutions to your problems.

Don’t bad-mouth your ex-spouse to your children. Your children are literally a part of their parents, and (except in truly dysfunctional situations) they love both of their parents. If you tell your children their mother or father is a loser, an abuser, or other kind of scoundrel, your children may (and likely will) start to believe that they are that way too. If you’ve disparaged your ex-spouse (whether what you said is true or not), act like the adult that you are, swallow your pride, and apologize for including your children in something you had no business discussing with them.

In the early stages of a divorce, you may be tempted to buy your children’s affection. While it is not the worst thing you could do, it has unintended adverse consequences. If you try to buy your children’s affection in an effort to get a better outcome in the divorce case, only to “cut off” this level of affection or material exchange with your children after the ink dries on the decree, this sends your kids the message that you see your children as pawns for self-serving purposes. If you try to buy your children’s affection for the rest of their lives (or at least the duration of their minority), you’re throwing good money after bad, you’re engaging in an unsustainable practice. Kids will quickly tire of movie tickets and theme parks and start expecting cars and luxury experiences. How long can you keep that up? And how insufferable will your children be if they become accustomed to getting whatever they want?

You reap what you sow. The path of least resistance makes for weak parents and for weak kids. Do right by your children, for their sake and yours.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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How to prepare for a consultation with a lawyer By Braxton Mounteer, legal assistant

You have just been served with a summons and complaint (or petition) for divorce. Now have to traverse the minefield that is finding a good divorce attorney. It’s harder to find a good lawyer than you think. I wish that weren’t true, but it is.

How do you prepare for initial consultations with the attorneys you are considering? I have found three things that can and will help you during your initial consultation.

You do not need to have clear objectives when you go to your initial consultation, but you should not be lost in the woods. You should have an idea of what you want in your divorce and be able to explain why and why what you want is fair (wanting to take your spouse for everything he or she is worth is not a winning strategy). You will likely have a good idea of what you want regarding custody of the children and the division of marital property and marital debt, so tell the attorney during your initial consultation and ask whether he or she agrees with your positions (and please be on the lookout for attorneys who will tell you what you want to hear, so that you’ll open your wallet and pour its contents into the lawyer’s hands).

All lawyers are not created equal. For far too many divorce lawyers the legal profession is a business, and you are a “sale”. Be wary of lawyers that promise you the moon. They usually want what’s in their best interest, not what’s in your and your children’s best interest.

Come to the consultations with an open mind. What you believe the law is or should be is quite often not that way. Rather than react with disgust, try to understand the law. You may still believe the law is silly once you understand it, but if you don’t understand it, you can’t work within the framework of the law knowledgeably and successfully.

A good lawyer will not sugar-coat the situation for you. He or she will give you a frank, honest opinion, even if that opinion may lead you to choose someone else. I know that’s what my boss does, but I also know that’s not what all lawyers do. Find a lawyer who will give you his or her honest opinion about the merits of your case and what you can realistically expect.

Finally, to maximize the value of your consultation, be prepared. Bring the documents with you that you believe may be relevant and useful for the attorney to review. If your spouse has already filed a divorce action against you and has served you with the complaint or petition for divorce, bring a copy of that with you to the consultation. It is easier to get an accurate look at your case when the lawyer can actually read what has been served on you.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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How To Talk To Your Former Spouse By Braxton Mounteer

Regardless of your feelings towards your ex-spouse, if you have children, you will have to talk or otherwise communicate to your ex (and do so often) about the minor children throughout their minority. While you have minor children, you will need to “deal” with your ex regularly.

As is the case for anyone with whom you have to communicate regularly and frequently, both you and the children benefit from you knowing how to communicate effectively with your ex.

Effective communication with an ex-spouse and co-parent needs to be civil, courteous, and businesslike. Being the reason that communications broke down will only hurt you and the children.

“But,” you may ask, “what do I do if my ex communicates in a combative, falsely accusatory, and/or insulting manner? Isn’t giving as good as I get justified at that point?” Those are two fair and excellent questions. And the answers are clear.

First, record all communications with your ex. “Record” does not mean simply audio recording. “Record” means making a record. A record can take the form of sound, video, and writing. Every conversation you have with your ex should be recorded (even if that means following up on any personal meeting or phone call with an e-mail or text message summarizing what you and your ex discussed). Recording makes false accusations much harder to make. If your ex ever refuses to communicate with you “unless you promise not to record,” that’s indisputable proof that you need to record.

Second, ensure that all of your communications with your ex are conducted in a mature, courteous, clear, and concise manner.

If you stay classy for months or years and then reach your “breaking point” by unloading a torrent of sick burns and other “he/she had it coming” tirades, then all the goodwill you built up to that point is swept away in an instant. If you sink to your combative ex’s level, you will be (and rightfully so) seen by the court as no better than your ex (perhaps seen as even worse). It’s that simple.

It is possible (and highly likely) that the rantings and ravings of your former spouse are a set up. So give yourself a break. Don’t let your antagonistic ex manipulate you into becoming your own worst enemy. Do not rise to your ex’s bait. The last thing that you want is to react inappropriately to your ex’s goading, so that you look like the bad guy.

If you cannot talk in person or over the phone to your spouse without your emotions getting the better of you, communicate in writing. And don’t fight fire with fire. Do not under any circumstances send anything in writing without taking the time to cool off before you hit the “send” button. Make sure your communications do not cause you any self-inflicted wounds.

This does not, however, mean you must be a doormat. You don’t have to be mute in the face of lies and insults. It can be as simple and easy as this:

Your ex:          You clearly have no idea how to meet the educational needs of our children, so you ignore their homework and no-show for parent teacher conferences, just like you’ve always done. It’s what I expect from someone who never went to college. Don’t bother to try helping with homework anymore, and don’t even try to attend parent teacher conferences either. If you are there when I’m there, I’ll call the police.

You:                What you have accused me of is false. I care about our children’s education and their individual needs. I want to ensure their needs are met, and I do my best to meet those needs. I talk with our kids, I consult their teachers. I help with their homework and ensure they complete it when they are with me. One does not have to have gone to college to appreciate the value of an education, and I am no exception. The reason I did not go to the last parent teacher conference is because you gave me the wrong date and time for it (why you did that I do not know). I will be there for next week’s parent teacher conference.

I asked the school if we could attend parent teacher conferences separately, but the school does not allow it, so if we both want to attend (and I do want to attend), we will have to attend together. We can attend together. You cannot prohibit me from attending. All I want to do and will do when I attend is meet with and talk with Ms. Hansen. There is no reason to call the police. The police cannot prevent either of us from attending. Please do not embarrass our children, yourself, Ms. Hansen, the school, or me by calling the police needlessly.

Are there any questions?

Thank you.

Any judge or commissioner who listens to or reads a response like that simply cannot fault you. If anyone ends up getting chewed out or sanctioned by the court in connection with this exchange it won’t be you. Any ex who isn’t smart enough to see who really looks bad in this exchange (and does not change his/her wicked ways in response) is someone who will never figure it out.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Evidence and Honesty By Braxton Mounteer

You have just decided to file for divorce. Or perhaps you have been served with divorce papers. At some point early on in the process you will likely think to yourself, “I have so many text messages that clearly prove my spouse is terrible,” or “I have videos of my spouse behaving badly.” You could be right. But do you know what kind of evidence is relevant and that the court finds persuasive? And have you considered the implications of what your “evidence” actually says about you? For every gotcha text message or video you have, does your spouse have similar dirt on you?

You may think to yourself, “I’ll just delete the messages that cast me in a bad light,” or “I’ll edit the videos a certain way to make myself look better” and engage in other cherry picking. This rarely works. Indeed, it often backfires. Manipulating the facts is a form of lying. And it’s not that hard to spot or expose.

Understand what kinds of evidence the court needs and what is useless to a court. The court’s jobs are clearcut: 1) end the marriage 2) divide the marital assets, 3) divide responsibility for marital debts, 4) deal with custody of the children (if any), parent-time, and child support, and 4) determine whether to award alimony, and if so, how much and for how long based upon the recipient’s need and the payor’s ability to pay. That’s it. It is not the purpose of the divorce court to settle scores between you and your spouse or to declare who’s worse than the other. While spousal or child abuse can be relevant in a divorce case, stories about shouting matches and squabbles are nothing new or compelling in a divorce case.

Take a businesslike approach to your divorce case. You have to work out your feelings in a divorce case, just not in court. Don’t dwell on your feelings too much when dealing with the court; it’s a waste of your time and energy.

What should you do, then? You need to face the truth and deal with the truth. Submit the relevant evidence and concede your flaws and faults along with it. Your credibility is more important than trying to put up a false front. Your credibility is easier to show and maintain when you’re honest. Courts are more sympathetic with honest people than with liars.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Evidence and Honesty By Braxton Mounteer

You have just decided to file for divorce. Or perhaps you have been served with divorce papers. At some point early on in the process you will likely think to yourself, “I have so many text messages that clearly prove my spouse is terrible,” or “I have videos of my spouse behaving badly.” You could be right. But do you know what kind of evidence is relevant and that the court finds persuasive? And have you considered the implications of what your “evidence” actually says about you? For every gotcha text message or video you have, does your spouse have similar dirt on you?

You may think to yourself, “I’ll just delete the messages that cast me in a bad light,” or “I’ll edit the videos a certain way to make myself look better” and engage in other cherry picking. This rarely works. Indeed, it often backfires. Manipulating the facts is a form of lying. And it’s not that hard to spot or expose.

Understand what kinds of evidence the court needs and what is useless to a court. The court’s jobs are clearcut: 1) end the marriage 2) divide the marital assets, 3) divide responsibility for marital debts, 4) deal with custody of the children (if any), parent-time, and child support, and 4) determine whether to award alimony, and if so, how much and for how long based upon the recipient’s need and the payor’s ability to pay. That’s it. It is not the purpose of the divorce court to settle scores between you and your spouse or to declare who’s worse than the other. While spousal or child abuse can be relevant in a divorce case, stories about shouting matches and squabbles are nothing new or compelling in a divorce case.

Take a businesslike approach to your divorce case. You have to work out your feelings in a divorce case, just not in court. Don’t dwell on your feelings too much when dealing with the court; it’s a waste of your time and energy.

What should you do, then? You need to face the truth and deal with the truth. Submit the relevant evidence and concede your flaws and faults along with it. Your credibility is more important than trying to put up a false front. Your credibility is easier to show and maintain when you’re honest. Courts are more sympathetic with honest people than with liars.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Completeness of Documentation By Braxton Mounteer

One of the hardest documents for a Utah divorce litigant to prepare is the financial declaration. I am amazed at the number of clients who don’t take this document and its preparation seriously.

If you file for divorce or your spouse files for divorce, your divorce case will require you to provide a lot of documentation for various purposes as your life (and the life of your spouse and children, if you have minor children) will come under the magnifying glass. To avoid being fried like an ant, you need to produce complete and completely accurate documentation in preparing your financial declaration.

How is this done? It is a little comical, but it really comes down to accounting as best as you possibly can for every penny that comes in and that goes out. Every meal out. Every oil change. Every gasoline fillup. Every utility bill. Every dollar earned from every source.
Why should you worry about every red cent? Because you will be nickeled and dimed by opposing counsel and even by the court. Opposing counsel quite often (more often than not, frankly) wants to misconstrue confuse your income, expenses, and debts for his/her client’s benefit. The court often assumes that you are lying and/or wants to side with your spouse or against you. They are looking for any reason to call your credibility into question. And if you carelessly prepare your financial declaration, fail to provide an accurate financial declaration, and fail to support your numbers with verifiable documentation, you give opposing counsel and/or the court weapons to use against you.

“Ah,” some of you say, “but I want my financial declaration to be inaccurate so that I appear a lot poorer than I really am!” That way, if I’m the one who might pay alimony, I will pay less. And if I’m the one who might receive alimony, I will get more. Truth be told, it’s possible to lie in your financial declaration and get away with it. Truth be told, it’s harder than most people think. Truth be told, most people who lie (or who don’t lie but instead provide a half-baked, crappy financial declaration) get burned by it. Better to take the hit for being honest than risk an even bigger hit for lying. And do bear in mind that being honest is not a matter of “no good deed goes unpunished”. When you are honest, thorough, complete, and accurate in your work, that builds your overall credibility in your case. The person who owns up to his/her sins and sincerely repents gets due credit more often than not. The court thinks, “He/she was scrupulously honest in his/her financial declaration (even when he/she might could have fudged and escaped detection), so he/she is probably honest about the other things he/she tells me.” That’s more valuable than you know.

Now, if being honest always “won,” nobody would lie. You may experience your spouse lying through his/her teeth and getting away with it. It can and does happen. Still, it doesn’t justify you doing wrong or taking the risk of you being the one who gets caught in a lie or who gets hurt by turning in an incomplete and inaccurate financial declaration.
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How to Avoid Being Called a Liar in a Utah Case By Braxton Mounteer

Who would you believe more in a court case: a person who admits to his/her faults, who honestly discloses all of his/her relevant information (even the information that hurts his/her case), and answered questions with “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,” or a person who lied (even if just a couple times)?

One of the worst things to happen in a divorce case is for your credibility to come into question. If the court finds you lied about just one matter, it can cite that one lie as reason not to believe you on virtually all matters.

Simply put, to avoid damaging your credibility, always be truthful. This should be obvious, but I am amazed at how often clients of the firm I work for try to get away with lying (and how often they try to get away with lying about stuff that doesn’t really matter anyway, but I digress). The truth is learned and established by facts that are proven to be facts by the evidence in support of those facts. Your judge will not care much, if at all, about how you feel he or she should rule, the judge is (or should be) guided by the truth, by the facts, and then apply the law according to what the facts are.

To ensure your credibility is not questioned, admit when you are wrong. If you try to bend the truth about your sins and mistake or conceal the truth about them, you are a liar. Try to justify it any way you like, lying is lying. Whether by commission (expressly lying) or omission (withholding the whole truth, selectively disclosing the facts, shading the truth, spin, you get the idea), it’s all lying. While there are some situations in which you are not obligated to tell the truth about crime or possible crime you have committed (see the Fifth Amendment), questions of and risk of being convicted of crimes doesn’t arise very often in divorce cases. Honesty is the best policy.

I am amazed at how often client fail to understand that they lose credibility when they provide us with inaccurate information. While you may not be able to remember everything regarding your finances or your personal and family history, that doesn’t give you a license to fudge your answers or give incomplete answers. The “I didn’t understand” and “I don’t recall” excuses don’t inspire confidence in your credibility. They have just the opposite effect; they make you look lazy, scheming, and dishonest. Honest people are not forgetful people. Honest people aren’t afraid to produce their bank statements (all of them). Honest people aren’t afraid to disclose that side job. If you claim to have few or no records of things that normal people usually have records for, the default conclusion is that you have something to hide. While there are limits on what the opposing party can ask of you, when what they request complies with the rules, then answer questions completely and with complete honesty, produce all of the documents that are discoverable. Even if what you answer and what you produce may expose some of your flaws, it will also reveal you as honest and believable.

Once it’s damaged, credibility is hard to repair. Better never to do anything to call your credibility into doubt. Be honest. It’s the right thing to do, and if doing the right thing isn’t enough motivation for you, honesty tends to be the better “strategy” than lying and deception.

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How Creative Writing and Legal Writing are Connected By Braxton Mounteer

How one writes in the legal world and how one writes in the world of creative are both very similar and very different. When I became a legal assistant, I thought that expository and creative writing would rarely overlap, yet they do, and they do more often than I’d expected.

Word choice is crucial in both legal and creative writing. Word choice affects how the scene or clause plays out. Word choice affects whether the idea is conveyed effectively (or not).When writing creatively, one builds a scene either from the ground or based upon previous paragraphs. It is about weaving a description and dialogue into a complete scene. These complete scenes are arranged according to the conventions of storytelling that each genre follows. Eventually a complete story appears, whether it is a novel, novella, or short story.

Legal writing is the same in this sense that one is also building on statutes, court rules, and caselaw. Each sentence builds on the one previously to construct an argument and analysis.

Whether one is trying to spare a criminal defendant from punishment or persuade a judge or jury to rule in a party’s favor, how one says what one means is crucial. One piece of advice I am finding applies equally both to creative and legal writing is: “You may think you have done enough if you write so that you can be understood. Well, you haven’t. You must write so that you can’t be misunderstood.”

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