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Tag: burden of proof

I Am Going through a Custody Battle and the Other Parent Is Making False Statements About Me in Court. What Can I Do to Protect Myself and My Child?

If you want just my direct answer to this question, skip to the last paragraph, but I submit that you’ll have a much better understanding of the answer if you read all of this first.

This is and has been a major, serious problem in family law for as long as I can remember. It’s not getting better. It victimizes far too many innocent people who naively trust the legal system to value truth and justice above all.

Guilt by accusation. Accuse your spouse of being an abusive parent, and immediately the accused finds himself or herself in a position of guilty until proven innocent.

Judges (and that includes the domestic relations commissioner) are, with due respect to them, quite often (so often; more often than you’d expect or hope, frankly) suckers for substituting and accepting the seriousness of the allegations over the substance of the evidence. Why?

Many people innately know, but struggle to articulate it, either because it’s subconscious or too shameful to admit: the cowardly, lazy allure of “better safe than sorry” and “abundance of caution”. “Treat all allegations of spousal or child abuse as true,” so the “reasoning” goes, “and that way we prevent abuse, whether real or imagined.” Why go to all the trouble of investigating, factfinding, and truth seeking when abusers might lie and get away with it? No, better to treat pretty much every abuse claim as true. And if innocent parents (mostly men, but a fair and growing number of women too) are the victims of such a policy (ruined reputations, loss of standing in the community, loss of friends, loss of employment, being persecuted), it’s a price worth paying (especially when the judges and commissioners themselves don’t pay that price themselves) “if it saves just one life.” It’s obvious nonsense (no judge who treats people this way would ever want to be treated that way), but that is culture of the modern legal system. I wish I could deny it, but I’d be lying, if I did.

“It is more important that innocence be protected than it is that guilt be punished, for guilt and crimes are so frequent in this world that they cannot all be punished.

But if innocence itself is brought to the bar and condemned, perhaps to die, then the citizen will say, ‘whether I do good or whether I do evil is immaterial, for innocence itself is no protection,’ and if such an idea as that were to take hold in the mind of the citizen that would be the end of security whatsoever.”

― John Adams

When it comes to accusations of abuse (or even danger of being abusive), it’s terrifyingly far too often the opposite of the “Better that a hundred guilty men go free than to convict one innocent man.”

So, if you are being falsely accused, don’t rely on “I can’t prove a negative,” “accuser has the burden of proof,” or “innocent until proven guilty.” If you can prove you’re innocent, do it. Do everything in your power to prove your innocence. Spend the money and the time and the effort to fight for and to prove your innocence. Strive to hold the courts to being competent and impartial because when it comes to allegations of spousal or child abuse, many courts will not exercise the courage to dismiss such claims for a lack of proof.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

(65) Eric Johnson’s answer to I am going through a custody battle and the other parent is making false statements about me in court. What can I do to protect myself and my child? – Quora

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Clark v. Clark – 2023 UT App 111 – divorce, exhibits, dissipation

Clark v. Clark – 2023 UT App 111

THE UTAH COURT OF APPEALS

SUSAN JEANNE CLARK,

Appellee,

v.

RICHARD LEE CLARK,

Appellant.

Opinion

No. 20210713-CA

Filed September 28, 2023

Fourth District Court, Heber Department

The Honorable Jennifer A. Brown

No. 184500153

Karra J. Porter and Kristen C. Kiburtz, Attorneys for Appellant

Julie J. Nelson, Attorney for Appellee

JUDGE AMY J. OLIVER authored this Opinion, in which JUDGES

MICHELE M. CHRISTIANSEN FORSTER and RYAN D. TENNEY

concurred.

OLIVER, Judge:

¶1        Richard Lee Clark appeals from the district court’s decision following a two-day divorce trial. Clark challenges several aspects of the court’s ruling, including a discovery sanction for his failure to timely disclose his trial exhibits under rule 26 of the Utah Rules of Civil Procedure; findings relating to his claim that his ex-wife, Susan Jeanne Clark, dissipated the marital estate; and the court’s division of the marital property. We affirm the district court’s ruling with the exception of one aspect of the district court’s marital property determination, which we vacate and remand for additional findings.

BACKGROUND

¶2        Richard and Susan[1] married in 2002, when Richard was in his sixties and Susan was in her fifties. Richard was retired from military service and from employment as an attorney with the Department of Justice. Susan owned a wallpaper business when she met Richard but quit working shortly after they married. For the next six years, Richard and Susan lived off Richard’s retirement income from both the Army and the Department of Justice.

¶3        In 2008, Richard came out of retirement to work for a government contractor in Afghanistan, where he lived for thirty-eight months. During that time, Richard’s retirement and employment income of $814,627 was deposited into a joint account that Susan controlled. Richard returned home to find “probably about $100,000 . . . had been saved” in the joint bank account—much less than he expected—yet he said nothing to Susan at that time.

¶4        Three years after his return, Richard moved into the basement of the marital home. The following year, in 2016, Susan transferred approximately $78,000 from their joint account into her personal account, prompting Richard to confront her about what he viewed as missing money from his time in Afghanistan. Two years later, in 2018, Susan filed for divorce. Shortly afterward, Richard purchased a Harley-Davidson motorcycle with financing, which he paid off in 2020.

¶5        At the time of their divorce, Richard and Susan owned two real properties—a condo in Norfolk, Virginia (Mooring Drive), and a home in Kamas, Utah (Ross Creek). Richard had purchased Mooring Drive before the marriage for approximately $205,000. In 2003, Richard added Susan to the title of Mooring Drive, which allowed her to vote at the condominium association’s meetings and to join the board. The following year, Richard and Susan used equity loans on Mooring Drive to finance the purchase and construction of Ross Creek. From 2009—when Susan moved to Utah and Richard was in Afghanistan—until June 2019, Richard rented Mooring Drive out to others and the revenues were deposited into his separate account that was designated to pay for the property’s expenses.

¶6        During their marriage, the parties took out an equity loan on Ross Creek that matured, along with one of the equity loans from Mooring Drive, in 2019. With the divorce still pending, Susan agreed to refinance Ross Creek’s mortgage to pay off the two equity loans that were due, but only if Richard would stipulate that Mooring Drive and Ross Creek were marital property and were subject to equitable division in their pending divorce. Richard agreed, and the parties stipulated that “the Ross Creek and Mooring Drive properties shall remain marital property and shall be subject to equitable division in the parties’ divorce notwithstanding that the Ross Creek home and Mooring Drive property will no longer be jointly titled.”

¶7        In April 2019, the Mooring Drive tenants’ lease expired. Richard decided he could only offer the tenants a month-to-month lease until his divorce was over. When the tenants declined to renew and moved out in June, Richard withdrew $30,000 from the joint bank account, claiming that he needed the funds to cover Mooring Drive’s expenses. After a hearing, the court entered temporary orders in December 2019, permitting Richard to access equity in Ross Creek to pay off debt on Mooring Drive but denying his “request for financial relief based on the loss of rental income because [Richard] ha[d] not made any attempt to secure new renters.”

¶8        Trial was originally scheduled for June 2020, but when the COVID-19 pandemic hit and courts were required to hold bench trials virtually, Richard declined to proceed with a virtual trial, and it was continued without a date. In February 2021, the court held a pretrial scheduling conference and rescheduled the trial for May 2021. The court’s pretrial order stated the parties must produce pretrial disclosures on or before April 26, 2021, pursuant to rule 26(a)(5)(B) of the Utah Rules of Civil Procedure.

¶9        Richard missed the deadline. A week after it passed, he requested a continuance to hire trial counsel. Richard had been representing himself as a pro se litigant despite being eighty-four years old and not having practiced law since 1988. According to Richard, health issues arose that made him “no longer physically and mentally capable of representing” himself. The court granted the motion, rescheduling the trial for June. The new deadline for pretrial disclosures became May 24, but Richard did not submit his pretrial disclosures until June 10—eleven days before trial.

¶10      The two-day trial began with Susan’s objection to Richard’s untimely pretrial disclosures. Susan contended that Richard had “ample opportunity” to produce his pretrial disclosures given the multiple continuances of the trial. In response, Richard claimed his failure to meet the disclosure deadline was harmless because he had previously produced as discovery responses the 339 pages of financial documents—including check registers, paystubs from 2008 to 2009, and bank account information from 2011 to 2012— that he sought to admit as exhibits 2 through 8. Yet Richard did not file certificates of service for those responses, and neither party’s counsel could confirm whether Richard had previously sent the documents in exhibits 2 through 8 to Susan, leaving the district court with only Richard’s testimony to support the claim that he had previously disclosed the exhibits. The district court sustained Susan’s objection as to exhibits 2 through 8, excluding them from trial.

¶11      Both Susan and Richard testified at trial. Susan testified Richard had transferred $30,000 from their joint account to his personal account in June 2019 and contended she was entitled to half of that amount. Susan also testified about her exhibits that provided recent balances in her bank and retirement accounts.

¶12      On cross-examination, Susan admitted she had not looked for work and was unemployed despite the court’s urging in 2020 for her to seek employment. Richard then peppered Susan about numerous expenditures during his time in Afghanistan, to which Susan replied that it “was a number of years ago” and she “ha[d] no recollection at all” of the transactions. Susan did state, however, that when Richard left for Afghanistan, she recalled they “had very large credit card balances” that Richard instructed her “to start paying off” while he was away.

¶13 First testifying as Susan’s witness, Richard answered questions about some of the marital property. He testified about a recent appraisal of Mooring Drive that valued it at $390,000, his three life insurance policies that all list Susan as the beneficiary, and his purchase of the Harley-Davidson in May 2019. Susan then introduced a pleading Richard had filed with the court in November 2019 that stated, in relevant part, he had “owned three motorcycles, selling the last one when [he] moved to Norfolk,” but he has “never ridden a Harley-Davidson.” Richard replied that he had “misstated the fact,” both in that pleading and at a hearing the same month when he told the court he did not own a Harley-Davidson. Richard testified he should receive three-fourths of the equity in Mooring Drive because he purchased it before the marriage. Unable to provide a figure for what the property was worth when he married Susan, Richard claimed that “the[] prices have gone up and gone down a great deal” since their marriage, but his best guess was that Mooring Drive appreciated from $205,000 to $350,000 between 2000 and 2002. Richard continued to do some impromptu math on the stand to clarify how much equity he felt he was owed, asserting that since Mooring Drive was recently appraised at $390,000 and had been worth $350,000 in 2002—by his best guess—there is $40,000 of equity for them to divide, but then he admitted such valuation “is something I’m just not knowledgeable about.”

¶14      As his own witness, Richard testified about Susan’s alleged dissipation during his time in Afghanistan. Richard’s excluded exhibits went to the issue of dissipation, so without the financial documents from that period, Richard sought to prove Susan “dissipated money while [he] was in Afghanistan” through his testimony about his earnings and typical expenses during that time frame. Using the excluded exhibits to refresh his recollection, Richard estimated their monthly expenses before he left were approximately $10,000 to $11,000. Richard also challenged Susan’s testimony about credit card balances, claiming that “there weren’t any large credit card balances before [he] left.”

¶15      At the conclusion of trial, the district court asked both parties to submit proposed findings of fact and conclusions of law in lieu of closing arguments. After issuing an oral ruling, the district court memorialized its decision in written findings of fact and conclusions of law. The court found that Richard’s “testimony was insufficient to establish his [dissipation] claim” and that Richard had “failed to meet his burden of demonstrating dissipation.” The court also found “problems with the credibility of both parties,” specifically finding that Susan’s “credibility was lacking with regards to the dissipation issue” and Richard’s “credibility was lacking with regards to his motorcycle purchase.” Susan was awarded Ross Creek’s equity, and Richard was awarded Mooring Drive’s. The court awarded Susan $2,500 per month in alimony and an offset of $43,474 (from Richard’s purchase of the Harley-Davidson and his $30,000 withdrawal from the joint account) “to achieve an equitable division of the estate.” The court found Richard “withdrew $30,000 from the joint account without [Susan’s] knowledge or consent and deposited it into his own personal account,” but it made no findings as to how Richard spent the $30,000.

ISSUES AND STANDARDS OF REVIEW

¶16      Richard raises three main issues for our review. First, Richard challenges the district court’s exclusion of his exhibits for his failure to comply with rule 26(a)(5) of the Utah Rules of Civil Procedure. A district court “has broad discretion regarding the imposition of discovery sanctions,” and when we apply “the abuse of discretion standard to the district court’s imposition of a particular sanction, we give the district court a great deal of latitude.” Bodell Constr. Co. v. Robbins, 2009 UT 52, ¶ 35, 215 P.3d 933 (cleaned up).

¶17 Second, Richard contends the district court erred in its application of the burden of proof on Richard’s dissipation claim. A district court’s “allocation of the burden of proof is . . . a question of law that we review for correctness.” Salt Lake City Corp. v. Jordan River Restoration Network, 2018 UT 62, ¶ 20, 435 P.3d 179.

¶18      Finally, Richard challenges the district court’s division of the property, including the court’s finding that the marital estate included Mooring Drive and the Harley-Davidson, and its decision to deduct from the marital estate the $30,000 Richard withdrew from the parties’ joint account. A district court “has considerable discretion considering property division in a divorce proceeding, thus its actions enjoy a presumption of validity,” and “we will disturb the district court’s division only if there is a misunderstanding or misapplication of the law indicating an abuse of discretion.” Beckham v. Beckham, 2022 UT App 65, ¶ 6, 511 P.3d 1253 (cleaned up).

ANALYSIS

I. Pretrial Disclosures

¶19      Richard asserts the district court abused its discretion in excluding his exhibits 2 through 8 for failure to comply with rule 26(a)(5) of the Utah Rules of Civil Procedure because he “produced the documents that comprised the exhibits” during discovery and any “technical non-compliance with that rule” was “harmless.” We disagree.

¶20      Rule 26 governs “disclosure and discovery” in civil matters and requires parties to provide “a copy of each exhibit, including charts, summaries, and demonstrative exhibits, unless solely for impeachment, separately identifying those which the party will offer and those which the party may offer . . . . at least 28 days before trial.” Utah R. Civ. P. 26(a)(5). A party who fails to timely disclose exhibits “may not use the undisclosed witness, document, or material at . . . trial unless the failure is harmless or the party shows good cause for the failure.” Id. R. 26(d)(4). A district court “has broad discretion in selecting and imposing sanctions for discovery violations under rule 26,” and “appellate courts may not interfere with such discretion unless there is either an erroneous conclusion of law or no evidentiary basis for the district court’s ruling.” Wallace v. Niels Fugal Sons Co., 2022 UT App 111, ¶ 26, 518 P.3d 184 (cleaned up), cert. denied, 525 P.3d 1267 (Utah 2023).

¶21      Richard does not dispute that he failed to timely disclose exhibits 2 through 8. Instead, Richard argues he produced the documents in those exhibits to Susan in earlier discovery responses, so his failure to timely file pretrial disclosures was harmless, and he further argues that it was Susan’s burden to prove she had not received them. In response, Susan asserts it was Richard’s burden, not hers, to prove that he produced the documents earlier in discovery, and the failure to file his pretrial disclosures pursuant to rule 26(a)(5) was not harmless. We agree with Susan on both fronts.

¶22 First, “the burden to demonstrate harmlessness or good cause is clearly on the party seeking relief from disclosure requirements.” Dierl v. Birkin, 2023 UT App 6, ¶ 32, 525 P.3d 127 (cleaned up), cert. denied, 527 P.3d 1107 (Utah 2023). Second, Richard failed to carry his burden of demonstrating harmlessness. Although Richard “assured [his counsel] that he [had] produced records related to this 2008-to-2012 timeframe,” he did not file the required certificates of service. See Utah R. Civ. P. 26(f) (requiring a party to file “the certificate of service stating that the disclosure, request for discovery, or response has been served on the other parties and the date of service”). Thus, Richard failed to prove that the documents had previously been produced.

¶23 But even if he had proved prior production, excusing pretrial disclosures if the documents were produced earlier in discovery would “eviscerate[] the rule that explicitly requires parties to” serve a copy of the documents they intend to use “in their case-in-chief at trial.” Johansen v. Johansen, 2021 UT App 130, ¶¶ 19, 26, 504 P.3d 152 (rejecting argument to follow the spirit of rule 26 rather than “the plain language of rule 26” regarding pretrial disclosures); see also Utah R. Civ. P. 26(a)(5)(A)(iv) (requiring pretrial disclosure of “each exhibit” the party will or may offer at trial). And expecting a party to sort through hundreds, if not thousands, of pages of documents that were produced earlier by the other side during discovery and then expecting the party to predict which ones the opposing party might seek to admit at trial would be harmful and would violate the intent of rule 26.

¶24 Ultimately, “a court’s determination with respect to harmlessness . . . . is a discretionary call,” and our review of it “is necessarily deferential.” Johansen, 2021 UT App 130, ¶ 11 (cleaned up). Thus, the district court was well within its “broad discretion” to exclude Richard’s exhibits 2 through 8 under these circumstances. See Wallace, 2022 UT App 111, ¶ 26 (cleaned up).

II. Dissipation

¶25 Richard claims the district court erred in finding that he failed to meet the burden of proof on his dissipation claim. We disagree.

¶26      “The marital estate is generally valued at the time of the divorce decree or trial.” Goggin v. Goggin, 2013 UT 16, ¶ 49, 299 P.3d 1079 (cleaned up). “But where one party has dissipated an asset,” the “trial court may, in the exercise of its equitable powers,” “hold one party accountable to the other for the dissipation.” Id. (cleaned up). A court’s inquiry into a dissipation claim may consider “a number of factors,” such as “(1) how the money was spent, including whether funds were used to pay legitimate marital expenses or individual expenses; (2) the parties’ historical practices; (3) the magnitude of any depletion; (4) the timing of the challenged actions in relation to the separation and divorce; and (5) any obstructive efforts that hinder the valuation of the assets.” Wadsworth v. Wadsworth, 2022 UT App 28, ¶ 69, 507 P.3d 385 (cleaned up), cert. denied, 525 P.3d 1259 (Utah 2022).

¶27 The burden of proof for dissipation initially falls on the party alleging it. See Parker v. Parker, 2000 UT App 30, ¶ 15, 996 P.2d 565 (stating that a party seeking to assert dissipation must make an “initial showing of apparent dissipation”). The district court correctly concluded that Richard bore the “burden of demonstrating dissipation.” To meet the “initial showing of apparent dissipation,” the party alleging dissipation must first show evidence of dissipation. Id. ¶¶ 13, 15. Only after “present[ing] the trial court with evidence tending to show that [Susan] had dissipated marital assets” does the burden shift to Susan “to show that the funds were not dissipated, but were used for some legitimate marital purpose.” Id. ¶ 13.

¶28 Richard’s documentary evidence on this issue had been excluded by the court, so the only evidence he presented was his testimony in 2021 that his income while in Afghanistan from 2008 to 2012 exceeded the estimated historical marital expenses from before 2008, some thirteen years earlier. Richard asserts that his testimony alone should suffice for an initial showing of dissipation. In Parker v. Parker, 2000 UT App 30, ¶ 15, 996 P.2d 565, the husband “presented the trial court with evidence” that detailed how the wife had dissipated marital assets—exact beginning and ending balances for eight bank accounts, the marital expenses during the time in question, and specific checks the wife wrote to herself—thus shifting the burden to the wife. Id. ¶ 13. But Richard, like the wife in Parker, only “testified in conclusory and cryptic terms,” and thus “wholly failed to meet [his] burden.” Id. ¶ 14.

¶29      Therefore, the district court was well within its discretion to decide that Richard’s uncorroborated testimony about Susan’s spending that occurred many years before either party contemplated divorce[2] was insufficient evidence to meet his initial burden of proving dissipation. Accordingly, the district court did not err in its finding that Richard failed to meet his burden of proof on the dissipation claim.

III. Marital Property

¶30      Richard presents three challenges to the district court’s division of the marital property. First, Richard asserts he is entitled to his premarital contribution to Mooring Drive. Second, he alleges the Harley-Davidson he purchased during the pendency of the divorce is his separate property. Third, Richard claims the court should not have deducted from the marital estate the $30,000 that he withdrew from the joint account in June 2019.

We affirm the district court’s decision on Richard’s first two challenges and vacate the decision on the third, remanding the matter for additional findings.

A.        Mooring Drive

¶31      Although the district court awarded Richard the equity in Mooring Drive when it divided the marital estate, it did not also award Richard any premarital equity in the property for three reasons. First, it found that Richard “formally stipulated that Ross Creek and Mooring Drive were marital property subject to division in this divorce action.” Second, it found that “through a series of refinances, [Richard] transferred equity from Ross Creek to Mooring Drive, and paid expenses associated with both properties with marital funds.” Third, it found that Richard “formally conveyed the property to himself and [Susan] in 2003” when he added Susan’s name to the title. Because we affirm the district court’s decision not to award Richard any premarital equity on the basis of the parties’ stipulation, we do not address the other two reasons the district court relied upon.

¶32 Richard and Susan stipulated that “the Ross Creek and Mooring Drive properties shall remain marital property and shall be subject to equitable division in the parties’ divorce, notwithstanding that the Ross Creek home and Mooring Drive property will no longer be jointly titled.” Richard now claims that despite the language of the stipulation, he “never agreed that he should not be compensated for his premarital and separate contributions to Mooring Drive before the property became marital.” Furthermore, Richard argues, “nowhere in the stipulation did he agree that he was waiving his premarital equity in that property.”

¶33 Richard’s argument is flawed. “Parties to a divorce are bound by the terms of their stipulated agreement.” McQuarrie v. McQuarrie, 2021 UT 22, ¶ 18, 496 P.3d 44. And according to the “ordinary contract principles” that govern “contracts between spouses,” see Ashby v. Ashby, 2010 UT 7, ¶ 21, 227 P.3d 246 (cleaned up), “if the language within the four corners of the contract is unambiguous, the parties’ intentions are determined from the plain meaning of the contractual language,” Green River Canal Co. v. Thayn, 2003 UT 50, ¶ 17, 84 P.3d 1134 (cleaned up). See also Mind & Motion Utah Invs., LLC v. Celtic Bank Corp., 2016 UT 6, ¶ 24, 367 P.3d 994 (holding that “the best indication of the parties’ intent is the ordinary meaning of the contract’s terms”); Ocean 18 LLC v. Overage Refund Specialists LLC (In re Excess Proceeds from the Foreclosure of 1107 Snowberry St.), 2020 UT App 54, ¶ 22, 474 P.3d 481 (holding that where the “contract is facially unambiguous, the parties’ intentions are determined from the plain meaning of the contractual language . . . without resort to parol evidence” (cleaned up)).

¶34      Richard essentially argues that the district court erred when it refused to go beyond the stipulation’s language and infer his intention from what he omitted. But the district court was correct when it interpreted the parties’ intentions by what the plain language of the stipulation does say and not by what it does not. Therefore, the district court did not abuse its discretion when it abided by the parties’ stipulation and included Mooring Drive as marital property, “subject to equitable division.”

B.        The Harley-Davidson

¶35      “Prior to the entry of a divorce decree, all property acquired by parties to a marriage is marital property, owned equally by each party.” Dahl v. Dahl, 2015 UT 79, ¶ 126, 456 P.3d 276. Thus, the presumption is that property acquired during the pendency of a divorce is marital, not separate. Richard failed to rebut this presumption regarding the Harley-Davidson motorcycle he purchased because he failed to present evidence that he used separate funds.

¶36 Richard argued that he purchased the Harley-Davidson from separate, rather than marital, funds in his proposed findings of fact and conclusions of law.[3] To be clear, Richard does not assert that the Harley-Davidson is separate property because he purchased it after the parties separated or after Susan filed for divorce. Instead, he argues the only funds available to him to purchase the motorcycle came from his “separate premarital retirement income.” Richard’s argument fails for two reasons. First, Richard did not present evidence to support his argument that the funds he used to purchase the motorcycle came from separate, not marital, funds. Instead, Richard essentially places his burden on the district court by asserting, on appeal, that “[t]here was no marital account identified by the district court from which [Richard] could have made that purchase.” But Richard, not the court, bears the burden of identifying where the funds came from that he used to purchase the motorcycle.

¶37      Second, the district court found credibility problems with Richard’s testimony about the Harley-Davidson, concluding that Richard’s “credibility was lacking with regards to his motorcycle purchase.”[4] A district court “is in the best position to judge the credibility of witnesses and is free to disbelieve their testimony” or “disregard such testimony if it finds the evidence self-serving and not credible.” Ouk v. Ouk, 2015 UT App 104, ¶ 14, 348 P.3d 751 (cleaned up).

¶38      In sum, as “property acquired during [the] marriage,” the Harley-Davidson is presumptively “marital property subject to equitable distribution.” Dahl, 2015 UT 79, ¶ 26. Richard bore the burden of proof to rebut the presumption that the funds he used to purchase the Harley-Davidson were not marital, and he presented no credible evidence to the district court to support that position. Thus, the district court did not abuse its discretion by including the motorcycle in the marital estate.

C.        $30,000 Offset

¶39      Finally, Richard challenges the district court’s decision to include in the marital estate the $30,000 he withdrew from the joint account. The district court agreed with Susan that because Richard had made a unilateral withdrawal from the joint account during the pendency of the divorce, he should be held accountable for that withdrawal. Richard, on the other hand, claims he used the money for marital expenses, paying costs associated with Mooring Drive. Susan argues the money could also have been spent on personal items including travel and motorcycle payments and accessories. “How the money was spent, including whether [the] funds were used to pay legitimate marital expenses or individual expenses,” Wadsworth v. Wadsworth, 2022 UT App 28, ¶ 69, 507 P.3d 385 (cleaned up), cert. denied, 525 P.3d 1259 (Utah 2022), is a critical question that needs to be resolved.

¶40 Divorce cases often require district courts to make numerous findings of fact. And generally speaking, “for findings of fact to be adequate, they must show that the court’s judgment or decree follows logically from, and is supported by, the evidence” and such findings “should be sufficiently detailed and include enough subsidiary facts to disclose the steps by which the ultimate conclusion on each factual issue was reached.” Armed Forces Ins. Exch. v. Harrison, 2003 UT 14, ¶ 28, 70 P.3d 35 (cleaned up). Moreover, when it comes to the “unequal division of marital property,” a district court must “memorialize[] in . . . detailed findings the exceptional circumstances supporting the distribution.” Bradford v. Bradford, 1999 UT App 373, ¶ 27, 993 P.2d 887 (cleaned up). “Without adequate findings detailing why [one spouse] should be entitled to such an unequal split of the marital estate, we cannot affirm the court’s award.” Fischer v. Fischer, 2021 UT App 145, ¶ 29, 505 P.3d 56; see, e.g.Rothwell v. Rothwell, 2023 UT App 50, ¶ 57, 531 P.3d 225 (concluding that “we simply do not have enough information” to rule on whether the funds were marital or separate, “let alone to conclude that the district court

. . . erred”).

¶41      We face the same dilemma here. The district court made no findings as to how Richard spent the $30,000. The written ruling merely states, “In June 2019, [Richard] withdrew $30,000 from the joint account without [Susan’s] knowledge or consent and deposited it into his own personal account.” “We will not imply any missing finding where there is a matrix of possible factual findings and we cannot ascertain the trial court’s actual findings.” Hall v. Hall, 858 P.2d 1018, 1025–26 (Utah Ct. App. 1993). Without “adequate findings” on whether Richard used the funds for marital expenses or not, “we cannot affirm,” nor properly review, the court’s decision to offset the $30,000 against Richard in its division of the marital estate. See Fischer, 2021 UT App 145, ¶ 29. Therefore, we vacate this portion of the decision and remand the matter to the district court for it to enter findings on how the funds were spent.

CONCLUSION

¶42 The district court did not abuse its discretion when it excluded Richard’s exhibits for failure to comply with rule 26(a)(5) of the Utah Rules of Civil Procedure. The district court also did not err in its conclusion that Richard failed to meet the burden of proof for his dissipation claim nor did it abuse its discretion in how it divided the marital estate with respect to Mooring Drive and the Harley-Davidson. We vacate the district court’s decision to offset the $30,000 against Richard when it divided the marital estate and remand the matter for the district court to enter additional findings and to alter its conclusion as may be necessary.


[1] Because the parties share the same surname, we refer to them by their first names, with no disrespect intended by the apparent informality.

[2] Susan invites us to join some other states in drawing a bright-line rule concerning the timing of a dissipation claim and limit pre-separation dissipation claims to those occurring (1) in contemplation of divorce or separation or (2) when the marriage is in serious jeopardy or undergoing an irretrievable breakdown. Under our caselaw, the district court is empowered to consider the “timing of the challenged actions in relation to the separation and divorce” as one of several factors when determining “whether a party should be held accountable for the dissipation of marital assets.” Marroquin v. Marroquin, 2019 UT App 38, ¶ 33, 440 P.3d 757 (cleaned up). We see no need to alter this approach. Assessing timing as one factor among many provides the greatest flexibility to the district court to consider all the circumstances in a particular case, and we believe the district court is in the best position to evaluate the importance of such evidence on a case-by-case basis.

[3] Because the district court directed the parties to submit proposed findings of fact and conclusions of law in lieu of closing arguments, Richard’s argument was preserved for our review.

[4] Indeed, in its oral ruling, the court stated that Richard “lied to the Court about the purchase of the motorcycle.”

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In Re L.L.B. – 2023 UT App 66 – Termination of Parental Rights Reversed

In re L.L.B. – 2023 UT App 66

THE UTAH COURT OF APPEALS

IN THE INTEREST OF L.L.B.,

A PERSON UNDER EIGHTEEN YEARS OF AGE.

C.B. AND H.B.,

Appellees,

v.

J.B.,

Appellant.

Opinion

No. 20210942-CA

Filed June 15, 2023

Eighth District Court, Vernal Department

The Honorable Clark A. McClellan

No. 182800015

Emily Adams, Sara Pfrommer, Melissa Jo Townsend,

and Freyja Johnson, Attorneys for Appellant

Michael D. Harrington and Cameron M. Beech,

Attorneys for Appellees

  1. Erin Bradley Rawlings, Guardian ad Litem

JUDGE AMY J. OLIVER authored this Opinion, in which

JUDGES RYAN M. HARRIS and RYAN D. TENNEY concurred.

OLIVER, Judge:

¶1 C.B. (Mother) and H.B. (Stepfather) filed a petition seeking termination of J.B.’s (Father) parental rights to L.L.B. (Child) and adoption by Stepfather. After a one-day bench trial, the district court found four statutory grounds for termination. The court also concluded it was in Child’s best interest to terminate Father’s parental rights and that doing so was strictly necessary so Child could be adopted by Stepfather. Father appeals the district court’s conclusion that termination of his parental rights was in Child’s best interest, arguing it was not supported by clear and convincing evidence. We agree with Father that the evidence was insufficient and, therefore, reverse the district court’s ruling terminating Father’s parental rights.

BACKGROUND

¶2        Child was born in September 2009. Less than a week after her birth, Father relapsed on controlled substances and left Child and Mother. Shortly thereafter, Child and Mother moved from the Salt Lake City area to Vernal, Utah. In the months after Mother and Child moved to Vernal, Father saw Child twice—in December 2009 and in April 2010.

¶3        In April 2010, Mother and Father entered into a stipulated agreement of paternity. The decree awarded primary physical custody and sole legal custody to Mother with Father awarded parent-time. It also permitted Mother to request that Father submit to random urinalysis drug testing up to eighteen times a year.

¶4        For several years Father consistently exercised his rights to parent-time. Because Mother lived in Vernal with Stepfather, whom she married in 2013, and Father lived in Salt Lake City, the parties met in Fruitland, Utah to exchange Child. In July 2015, however, Mother and Father got into an argument during an exchange and Child immediately returned to Vernal with Mother and Stepfather. Mother testified that the same month as the confrontation in Fruitland, Child and Father were involved in a four-wheeler accident. For the next several weeks, Mother refused to permit Child to spend parent-time with Father because she was concerned Father had been drinking at the time of the accident. Parent-time resumed after Father sought an order to show cause in the paternity matter.[1] Beginning in April 2016, the parent-time was supervised by Father’s mother because Mother was concerned that Father was using drugs and alcohol around Child.

¶5        In August 2016, Mother and Father discussed the possibility of Father voluntarily relinquishing his parental rights. Mother testified Father was “on the fence” about the idea, and Father admitted he considered it for approximately two months. However, the parties were unable to reach a voluntary agreement. In 2018, Mother and Stepfather filed a Petition for Adoption/Termination of Parental Rights in district court. The petition listed the following grounds supporting the termination of Father’s parental rights: (1) Father abandoned Child, (2) Father neglected Child, (3) Father was an unfit parent, and (4) Father made only token efforts to be a fit parent. Father filed a handwritten response opposing the petition and later filed a counseled answer.

¶6        The district court held a one-day bench trial on November 5, 2021. Mother, Father’s ex-girlfriend (Ex-Girlfriend), Father’s mother, Father’s brother, and Father testified. A guardian ad litem (the GAL) appointed by the district court represented Child.

¶7        Mother’s testimony centered on Father’s lengthy absences from Child’s life, his history of failing to provide financial support for Child, and his past substance abuse. She testified that in February 2017, she asked Father to take a drug test, but he refused. In the months after that refusal, Father attempted to contact Child only twice—once in May 2017 and once more in December 2017. Nearly a year passed until Mother heard from Father again. As to Father’s history of supporting Child, evidence was presented that he made court-ordered child-support payments from 2010 through 2016, but the payments were not for the full amounts ordered. From 2017 forward, Father’s child-support payments totaled seventy-two dollars, and as of September 1, 2021, he was $51,011.25 in arrears. Mother testified that Father had never followed through with his many promises to pay child support, refrain from using drugs and alcohol, and re-establish a relationship with Child. She also testified he had never been involved in Child’s education. Mother admitted, however, that since the termination petition was filed, she had not responded to Father’s requests to see Child and had not told Child about the requests.

¶8        Ex-Girlfriend testified that she and Father dated from 2009 until 2016. She described his alcohol consumption during that period as progressing from weekends to daily. Ex-Girlfriend also testified that Father told her either in 2015 or 2016 that he was using crack cocaine and she found illegal substances in their home and car in 2016. She also confirmed Father was drinking the day he and Child were involved in the four-wheeler accident in July 2015. Ex-Girlfriend testified she now communicates with Father only to discuss matters concerning their daughter, Child’s half-sister (Half-Sister). According to Ex-Girlfriend, Father spends parent-time with Half-Sister and has “a strong relationship” with her. She also testified that Child and Half-Sister have a good relationship that is facilitated and encouraged by her and Mother.

¶9        Father’s mother testified about Father’s relationship with Half-Sister, describing it as a “great relationship” and calling him “a wonderful father.” She testified that she tries to stay in contact with Child, but recently has had difficulty getting responses from Mother. According to Father’s mother, Father’s family last saw Child at a family reunion in the summer of 2020. She stated that Father had substance abuse issues “off and on” from 2009 through 2019 but she was not aware of any substance abuse since 2019.

¶10      Father’s brother testified that “since [Father] put his life back together,” Father has been an “incredible father” and an “incredible uncle.” He also testified about the family reunion, stating Child attended the reunion and he saw her interact with Father. He stated they “spent a lot of time together and had a lot of fun.”

¶11      Father testified he saw Child “a lot” during the first five years of her life and had a good relationship with her. Thereafter, he saw Child off-and-on until August 2016, after which time he did not see her again until 2020 at the family reunion. He admitted their interactions at the reunion were “a little awkward at first” but testified they “ended up having a blast.” He testified he admitted to Child during the reunion that he had not been the best parent and apologized. According to Father, Child responded well to his apology and gave him a hug. Father testified he had not seen Child since the reunion, although he had written letters to Mother, sent a gift, and emailed Child.

¶12      Father admitted he had relapsed on controlled substances three or four times between 2009 and 2019, but testified he has been clean and sober since he went to jail in January 2019. Father testified he participated in drug court after a term of incarceration, calling it “awesome” and “one of the best things” he ever did. As part of drug court, he participated in outpatient treatment, community service, and drug testing. He testified he now works with at-risk children as a boxing coach and was now paying child support.

¶13 The GAL stated Child does not have a relationship with Father because he “wasted that relationship and allowed it to shrivel by his absence and his lack of effort to nourish it.” The GAL described Stepfather as “an excellent father” to Child and stated the two have “a great bond” and “a very close relationship.”

¶14 The district court entered detailed Findings of Fact and Conclusions of Law on December 3, 2021. The court concluded four statutory grounds for termination existed and the bulk of its ruling addressed those grounds. The court found Father abandoned Child by failing to maintain contact with her, neglected Child by not paying child support, and made only token efforts to support Child or communicate with her. Although the court found that Father was “a fit and proper parent” at the time of the hearing, it nevertheless concluded Father was unfit or incompetent for purposes of the statutory grounds for termination because he was unfit and incompetent for much of Child’s life.

¶15      The district court’s best-interest analysis was considerably shorter than its analysis of the statutory grounds for termination. The court identified and examined three factors: (1) whether another person was available to step into the parental role, (2) whether there was evidence Child had been harmed by her relationship with Father, and (3) whether Father’s extended family was a positive influence in Child’s life. Based on that analysis, the court ruled as follows: “The Child desires and deserves to have [a] healthy, stable family relationship with the person that has been and acts as her father figure. The Child’s interest will best be served if the adoption is allowed to move forward. . . . Because the adoption cannot occur without the termination of Father’s parental rights, the Court finds by clear and convincing evidence that it is ‘strictly necessary’ that Father’s rights be terminated.”

ISSUE AND STANDARD OF REVIEW

¶16 Father challenges the district court’s conclusion that termination of his parental rights was in Child’s best interest. “Whether a parent’s rights should be terminated presents a mixed question of law and fact.” In re B.R., 2007 UT 82, ¶ 12, 171 P.3d 435. A lower court’s best-interest ruling is reviewed deferentially but “we will not only consider whether any relevant facts have been left out but assess whether the . . . court’s determination that the clear and convincing standard had been met goes against the clear weight of the evidence.” In re G.D., 2021 UT 19, ¶ 73, 491 P.3d 867 (cleaned up).

ANALYSIS

¶17 A court must make two findings before terminating a parent-child relationship:

First, a trial court must find that one or more of the statutory grounds for termination are present. . . . Second, a trial court must find that termination of the parent’s rights is in the best interests of the child. . . . The trial court must make both of these findings not merely by a preponderance of the evidence, but by clear and convincing evidence and the burden of proof rests with the petitioner.

In re B.T.B. (BTB I), 2018 UT App 157, ¶ 13, 436 P.3d 206, aff’d, 2020 UT 60, 472 P.3d 827 (cleaned up). “A court may . . . terminate parental rights only when it concludes that a different option is in the child’s best interest and that termination is strictly necessary to facilitate that option.” In re B.T.B. (BTB II), 2020 UT 60, ¶ 66, 472 P.3d 827.

¶18 Mother and Stepfather argue that a district court is not required to undertake the strictly necessary part of the analysis when a petition is filed under the Adoption Act rather than the Termination of Parental Rights Act. Compare Utah Code § 78B-6-112(5)(e) (“The district court may terminate an individual’s parental rights in a child if . . . the individual’s parental rights are terminated on grounds described in Title 80, Chapter 4, Termination and Restoration of Parental Rights, and termination is in the best interests of the child.”), with Utah Code § 80-4-301(1) (“[I]f the juvenile court finds termination of parental rights, from the child’s point of view, is strictly necessary, the juvenile court may terminate all parental rights with respect to the parent . . . .”) (formerly codified at § 78A-06-507(1)). But we need not address Mother and Stepfather’s argument, because even without considering the strictly necessary part of the best-interest analysis dictated by the Termination of Parental Rights Act, we conclude, below, that there is not clear and convincing evidence supporting the district court’s conclusion that termination of Father’s parental rights was in Child’s best interest.

¶19 Father first argues the court erred in finding he was an unfit or incompetent parent as a ground for termination because, in his view, the statute requires a finding based on current ability rather than past conduct, and the court found him to be a fit parent at the time of the trial. But Father concedes that three other statutory grounds for termination exist. Because the finding of just one statutory ground for termination is sufficient, it is unnecessary to address Father’s argument as to the fitness ground. See id. § 80-4-301(1); In re S.M., 2017 UT App 108, ¶ 4, 400 P.3d 1201 (per curiam) (“[T]he finding of a single ground will support termination of parental rights.”).

¶20      Father next argues that Mother and Stepfather—the parties seeking termination of his parental rights—failed to present clear and convincing evidence that termination of his parental rights was in Child’s best interest. See BTB II, 2020 UT 60, ¶ 52. He does not challenge any of the district court’s findings as clearly erroneous, but asserts that those findings and the evidence underpinning them do not support the court’s ruling. In Father’s view, the only support for the district court’s ruling was Mother’s testimony that Stepfather and Child love and care for each other and the report of the GAL stating that Child (1) was not comfortable around Father, (2) had a close relationship with Stepfather, and (3) wanted to be adopted by Stepfather.

¶21 The best-interest inquiry “is intended as a holistic examination of all of the relevant circumstances that might affect a child’s situation.” Id. ¶ 29 (cleaned up). The lower court must consider the “physical, intellectual, social, moral, and educational training and general welfare and happiness of the child.” BTB I, 2018 UT App 157, ¶ 47 (cleaned up). The analysis is undertaken from the child’s point of view. BTB II, 2020 UT 60, ¶ 64. In making the best-interest determination in this matter, the district court analyzed whether there was (1) another person available to step into the parental role, (2) evidence Child had been harmed by the relationship with Father, and (3) a positive role that Father’s extended family played in Child’s life. After considering these three factors,[2] the district court concluded that termination of Father’s parental rights and adoption by Stepfather was in Child’s best interest because she “desires and deserves to have a healthy, stable family relationship with the person that has been and acts as her father figure.” But the record does not contain clear and convincing evidence supporting this conclusion that termination of Father’s parental rights was in Child’s best interest.

¶22      As to whether another person was available to step into the parent role, the district court detailed evidence showing Child loves Stepfather and Stepfather has been a positive presence in Child’s life for many years. It was undisputed that Child has lived with Mother and Stepfather since 2013. The GAL told the district court that Child “is consistent in her desire to be adopted” by Stepfather, has a close relationship with him, and does not view Father as a father figure. The court found Child wants to be adopted by Stepfather and the two have an excellent relationship. But there was no evidence that this relationship will not continue if Father’s rights are not terminated and the adoption does not occur.

¶23 Mother and Stepfather suggest that “failing to terminate Father’s parental rights so that Stepfather can adopt inherently leaves the Child’s relationship with Stepfather, and possibly the Child’s siblings and extended family, vulnerable to termination at any time by . . . Mother’s death.” But such a concern is present in many termination cases, and it does not necessarily lead to the conclusion that termination of a parent’s rights is in the child’s best interest. As our supreme court has explained, “categorical concerns” about the lack of permanence of an option other than adoption are not enough, otherwise “termination and adoption would be strictly necessary across the board.” In re J.A.L., 2022 UT 12, ¶ 24, 506 P.3d 606.

¶24      When considering whether Child had been harmed by the relationship with Father, the court found that Child does not have a relationship with Father and noted Child has expressed some concern for her safety when she is with him. There was no finding, however, that Father’s presence in her life has affirmatively harmed Child. The GAL told the court that Child does not have a comfortable relationship with Father and “there’s a certain level of fear.” But the GAL did not explain or expound on the root of this fear. Further, there was no finding detailing how Child’s life was negatively affected or disrupted by Father’s attempts to exercise his parental rights. There is evidence Father has emailed Child a handful of times since the termination petition was filed, but there was no testimony or other evidence that these emails had any negative effect on Child’s general welfare or happiness.[3] Father also sent communications to Mother asking for an opportunity to meet with Child, but Mother testified she did not respond and did not put Father in contact with Child because Child would not be receptive. Mother’s testimony, however, did not discuss the effects Father’s past attempts at reconciliation had on Child or provide an explanation of why she believed Child would not want to see Father. In short, there is no evidence showing Father’s presence in Child’s life has a negative effect on her happiness and well-being.

¶25 Regarding Child’s relationship with Father’s extended family, the court found that Child has had a relationship with Father’s mother for all her life and the relationship is important to Child. There was also evidence that Child has a strong bond with Half-Sister. Several witnesses testified about Child’s attendance at Father’s family reunion in the summer of 2020. Mother testified that Child called her and was “begging to stay with her cousins.” Father’s brother testified there was some initial awkwardness between Child and Father at the reunion “but they spent a lot of time together and had a lot of fun.” The district court described the weekend as a “huge success” and “enjoyable and successful.” Based on this evidence, the district court found that Child currently has positive and beneficial relationships with Father’s extended family, including Half-Sister and Father’s mother.

¶26 The district court found that Child’s relationships with Father’s extended family would be adversely affected to some extent if Father’s parental rights were terminated and Child was adopted by Stepfather, and then it purported to compare those effects to the benefits Child would glean from a relationship with Stepfather and his family. But there was no evidence presented identifying those benefits or explaining how Child’s ability to maintain relationships with Stepfather and his family would be negatively affected if she was not adopted.

¶27      Despite the district court’s statement that termination was in Child’s best interest because she deserves to have a healthy and stable family relationship, the court made no finding that Child’s current living situation was not healthy and stable. Nor did the court make any finding that her living situation will change in any way if she is not adopted. See BTB I, 2018 UT App 157, ¶ 56. (“[T]he absence of any proposed change in the child’s custody or living situation is a factor that may weigh against termination in some cases . . . .”).

¶28      In sum, the evidence on which the district court relied does not clearly and convincingly demonstrate that termination of Father’s parental rights was in Child’s best interest.

¶29 Other evidence before the district court further undermines, rather than supports, the district court’s ruling that termination of Father’s parental rights was in Child’s best interest. Most obvious and significant is the court’s finding that “Father is presently fit and capable as a parent.” This finding was based on evidence that Father was clean and sober at the time of the termination trial and had been for more than two years. See In re B.R., 2007 UT 82, ¶ 13, 171 P.3d 435 (“In termination cases, the . . . court must weigh a parent’s past conduct with her present abilities.”). Father testified he has made many attempts to communicate with Child since his release from incarceration in 2019 and many of those communications were introduced at trial.

¶30 As we have explained, “in making its best-interest determination, . . . especially in cases (like this one) initiated by private petition, it is important for courts to carefully assess a parent’s efforts to improve and, if the court remains unpersuaded that the parent’s situation has sufficiently changed for the better, to specifically set forth reasons why it remains unpersuaded.” In re J.J.W., 2022 UT App 116, ¶ 30, 520 P.3d 38 (cleaned up). But the district court wasn’t unpersuaded that Father had improved his situation for the better. To the contrary, it was persuaded that Father had successfully addressed his problems with controlled substances and found that “Father is presently fit and capable as a parent.”

¶31 The Utah legislature “has made clear that, as a matter of state policy, the default position is that it is in the best interest and welfare of a child to be raised under the care and supervision of the child’s natural parents.” BTB II, 2020 UT 60, ¶ 65 (cleaned up). The district court’s order contains no analysis of why it was in the best interest of Child to terminate the parental rights of a fit and capable Father in order to be adopted by Stepfather.

¶32 The record also indicates Father currently considers Child’s needs when he makes decisions on her behalf. For example, the district court’s order contains details surrounding Child’s desire to participate in a religious ceremony with Mother, Stepfather, and their other children. The court found that Father was at first reluctant to consent to Child’s participation but relented when he learned Child strongly desired to participate.

¶33      Nearly all the evidence presented at trial was offered in support of the statutory grounds for termination—not the best-interest inquiry. Although the district court was free to consider the evidence supporting the statutory grounds for termination when conducting the best-interest analysis, almost none of that evidence focused on Child’s “physical, intellectual, social, moral, and educational training and general welfare and happiness” as required under the holistic approach. BTB I, 2018 UT App 157, ¶ 47 (cleaned up). And, as explained above, the evidence that did address Child’s best interest largely countered, rather than supported, the conclusion that termination of Father’s parental rights was in her best interest.

¶34      Thus, we are convinced the district court’s conclusion that termination of Father’s parental rights was in Child’s best interest goes against the clear weight of the evidence.

CONCLUSION

¶35      Because the district court’s ruling that termination of Father’s parental rights was in Child’s best interest goes against the clear weight of the evidence, we reverse and remand with instruction to vacate the order terminating Father’s parental rights.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

[1] Mother testified she permitted Child to spend time with Father after he sought court intervention because she was afraid she “would get put in jail for not allowing the visitations.”

[2] It is unclear why the district court focused exclusively on these three particular factors. Under the required holistic approach, there is no exhaustive list of relevant factors and no one factor deemed relevant by a court is determinative on the question of a child’s best interest. See In re J.P., 2021 UT App 134, ¶ 14, 502 P.3d 1247 (“While courts have identified factors relevant to the best-interest determination, the list is non-exhaustive.”); In re G.J.C., 2016 UT App 147, ¶ 24, 379 P.3d 58 (setting out a non-exhaustive list of factors a court may consider), abrogated on other grounds by In re B.T.B., 2018 UT App 157, 436 P.3d 206, aff’d, 2020 UT 60, 472 P.3d 827.

[3] Child responded to only one of Father’s emails. On September 2, 2020, she sent an email simply stating, “Love you.”

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How can I make my abusive husband divorce me?

Short of holding the proverbial gun to his head (i.e., forcing him to do so against his will), you can’t.  

While you might contrive to motivate your husband to file for divorce against you by committing marital fault yourself, that might cause the court to disfavor you when making the rulings and judgments in the divorce, so you don’t want to go that route.  

If you want your husband to be the one to file for divorce so that you can claim aggrieved/martyr status, you may have to wait a long time, if he ever does in fact file for divorce.  

The good news is that if you want a divorce in the United States you do not have to wait for your husband to file for divorce to obtain a divorce. You can file for divorce yourself, and you can do so without having to blame him for anything (this is what a “no-fault divorce is; obtaining a divorce without having to allege you or your husband is at fault). 

If you are afraid that you won’t be awarded alimony or child custody or some other thing or benefit in the divorce action if you file for divorce, that’s likely not the case (I can’t speak for divorce law in all jurisdictions, but I am not aware of any U.S. jurisdiction that “punishes” a spouse merely for being the one to file for divorce).  

Besides, if your husband is abusing you—AND YOU CAN PROVE THAT (as opposed to merely asserting it in a “your word against mine” situation)—then you’re not only well within your rights to be the one to file for divorce, you are clearly justified in filing for divorce. No decent court is going to fault you for filing for divorce to escape abuse.  

Go meet with an attorney. Find out more about how the law governing divorce works in your jurisdiction. Determine what your options are, balance the risks against the benefits. Learn what you can and should do to prepare for divorce as fairly and successfully as possible.  

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

https://emotionalabusesurvivor.quora.com/How-to-make-my-abusive-husband-divorce-me?__nsrc__=4  

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I paid my ex in cash for child support. Will the court give me credit for it?

I paid my ex in cash for child support. Will the court give me credit for it?

In Utah (where I practice family law), the answer is: yes. And while I cannot speak for all jurisdictions, I would presume that most other jurisdictions have similar laws or rules in place.

For those of you wondering why this is an important question, this is why: if you don’t have independently verifiable, documented proof that you have paid child support, and the child support payee/recipient claims that you have not paid, the burden is on you and you alone to prove you paid. And if the only evidence of payment that you have is your word against your ex’s, you will lose the argument every single time.

So, before I finish my answer to your question, a word to the wise: never, ever pay child support in cash, if you can avoid it. If you must, for some reason, pay in cash, get a receipt from your ex acknowledging payment (amount paid, date paid). pay child support by check, money order, direct deposit, or through the child support collection agency (in Utah, this state agency’s name is the Utah Department of Human Services Office of Recover Services (known as Office of Recovery Services or just “ORS” for short).

Indeed, in my professional opinion, the best way to pay child support and to have proof you have paid child support, is to have your states child support collection agency garnish your wages (also known as “income withholding”) or to pay child support directly to the child support collection agency. Whether you are garnished or pay child support to the collection agency, the result is the same: the agency will make a record of your payment and forward payment to the child support payee. This way, you cannot ever be accused of not paying child support because the collection agency is responsible for collecting that payment and/or keeps a record of you making payment to the agency, and so it would be virtually impossible for the child support payee to accuse you, successfully, of nonpayment. Just remember that if you don’t let the collection agency garnish or paychecks, and if you pay child support directly to the collection agency, you will still want to keep independent documentation of those payments, in the event the collection agency fails to give you credit.

So, if you have been paying child support in cash to your ex, and your ex is willing to sign a statement (usually in the form of a sworn affidavit, but if your jurisdiction requires that you use a particular form and/or follow a particular procedure, make sure you do exactly as required) and submit that statement to the court acknowledging that you have paid in cash and stating how much you have paid, you are an extraordinarily fortunate person. And while it’s only right for someone who has received child support to acknowledge it and to give credit where credit is due, there are far too many child support payees who get paid in cash, then deny ever having been paid, and end up double dipping on child support by getting a judgment against you for child support falsely claimed to have been “unpaid”.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/I-paid-my-ex-in-cash-for-child-support-If-she-wrote-a-letter-to-the-court-acknowledging-this-would-the-court-give-me-credit-for-it/answer/Eric-Johnson-311?prompt_topic_bio=1

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