Tag: divorce rate

Whose responsibility is it to reduce or put an end to the divorce rate in this modern day?

Few rational, intelligent, thinking people would argue that a divorce rate hovering around 50% is not too high.

Society suffers from a high divorce rate and the broken families that result.

Children suffer from a high divorce rate. Higher rates of mental illness, self-harm, reckless behavior, juvenile delinquency and crime, struggles with substance abuse and an inability to form intimate relationships themselves as adults.

Spouses suffer from a high divorce rate. They suffer higher rates of depression and other mental and emotional pathologies, and divorce is financially devastating to most.

While nobody would deny that some marriages that constitute a danger to one’s safety need to end, many people who divorce find themselves far more miserable than they were when they door divorced, and realize that the solution wasn’t ending the marriage, but working to repair and improve it. Given that everyone has a stake in strong nuclear families, it is everyone’s to everyone’s benefit and it is everyone’s responsibility to support strong healthy families.

Society (from local communities to the municipal, state, and federal governments) needs to support strong healthy nuclear families for the sake of the strength survival of society. That doesn’t mean that a government must impose numerous rules and regulations in ostensible support of families, subsidize families financially, or treat family members better than other members of society, but it does mean that government needs to ensure its policies, rules, and regulations do not discourage or destroying strong, stable, healthy families. An ordered and prosperous society depends upon the smallest unit of society, i.e., the family as its foundation.

When families are strong, stable and healthy, that means that each member of the family is as strong, stable, and healthy as he or she would likely ever be. Such families reduce crime rates, foster prosperity, and are less of a drain on welfare benefits and other governmental resources. It is popular in modern Western societies now for many people to believe it is not only acceptable, but even admirable, not to marry and have children with one’s spouse. Nothing could be further from the truth. People need people. So the answer to your question is clear: it is to everyone’s benefit–from the individual all the way up to society at large–to support strong, stable, and healthy families, and it is thus everyone’s responsibility to ensure divorce occurs only as necessary.

Utah Family Law, LC | | 801-466-9277

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Is the percentage of married people getting a divorce still about 50%?

Is the percentage of married people getting a divorce still about 50%, or is it now higher?

It’s actually a bit less than 50% currently and for the past few years. This is likely not because fewer people are divorcing as it is because fewer people are marrying in the first place. 

Addendum: I’ve seen claims that the COVID-19 pandemic has caused a spike in divorce filings. That makes sense, but I haven’t seen it personally. That may be due to the bulk of the spike consisting of divorcing couples handling their divorces without a lawyer. I don’t know, but that makes sense too. 

Utah Family Law, LC | | 801-466-9277 

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Why is the Divorce Rate Higher than Ever?

First, the divorce rate is not currently higher than ever. It has been higher in the past. Unfortunately, the reason the divorce rate is declining is likely because fewer people are marrying, not because fewer married people are choosing not to divorce. 

Second, there are some people who simply aren’t able to handle marriage, and there are times when divorce is not only justified, but necessary. But divorce for the sake of escaping chronic domestic violence, death, or crippling mental or emotional cruelty (among other good reasons) is clearly not why roughly half of all marriages end. Avoiding or ending marriage to avoid pain and disappointment makes about as much sense as refusing to drive your car to ensure you don’t get hurt in an accident; there’s more than enough pain and disappointment life holds for all of us, and it cannot be avoided, so denying yourself the benefits of marriage (or the convenience and freedom of driving), even after accounting for the costs, is silly. 

Now to answer your question itself: Why is the divorce rate so high? Placing self-interest before the success of the marriage and family. People have started believing for the past couple of generations that marriage is a matter of individual preference and worth. In other words, if I am not happy in my marriage, then the marriage must be worthless, so I am justified in divorcing. This is as foolish as it is pointless. 

We’re seeing the effects of disposable marriage on society at large as a result of such a mindset: less happiness (not more), more mental illness, more juvenile delinquency, rising crime rates, rising poverty, the growth of the welfare state to substitute for the nuclear family, etc. 

Children (and we were all children once) need a loving mother and a father (yes, I realize that many children succeed in spite of the loss of one parent, but ask them if they are “glad” they didn’t have the benefits of a loving mother and father growing up and they’ll tell you they ache for it even now). Children fare much better in a nuclear family than in any other environment. The nuclear family is the bedrock of an ordered, safe, prosperous society. 

Paradoxically, individual happiness depends greatly (though not solely) on caring about and facilitating the happiness of others. And there is no better way to develop a happiness-producing, less selfless routine and character than being a spouse and a parent. This is why, despite marriage and parenthood being so demanding and even at times heartbreaking, loving couples and parents will tell you the blessings and joys outweigh the demands and sacrifices. Marriage and family make us better people, and better people are happier people. So are their kids, and so are their kids friends and families too. 

Utah Family Law, LC | | 801-466-9277  

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Is the divorce rate rising during the COVID-19 pandemic?

I’ve been a divorce attorney for 25 years, and I don’t see any difference in the divorce rate between the pre-and post-COVID-19 eras. That’s not a scientific study, just anecdotal evidence from me. 

Utah Family Law, LC | | 801-466-9277  


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Why is the divorce rate so high in the United States?

Why is the divorce rate so high in the United States?

Until now, I would answer this question by stating that some of the main reasons for the high divorce rate in the United States were a failure to understand the purpose of marriage and family, what a successful marriage and family demands of a couple and family members, and a culture that increasingly diminishes the importance of selflessness and service to one’s fellow man (both within and without the family unit).

There are statistics that indicate the divorce rate is falling in the United States, but not because more people are staying married, but because more people are simply forgoing marriage altogether (fewer divorces because there are fewer marriage to end in divorce). Why?

Well, in my opinion, it’s for the same reasons the divorce rate is so high and the following additional reasons: 1) government policies that both discourage marriage and incentivize remaining single and having children out of wedlock; 2) a culture that teaches girls and women that men are worthless, that marriage is tantamount to domestic slavery, and that women not only have no need for a man in their lives, but that having a man in their lives is a sign of weakness and a betrayal of the gains women have made in society and the workforce; and 3) obsolete alimony policy and laws that lead many men to conclude that marriage is not worth the risk, if a marriage ends in divorce.

Utah Family Law, LC | | 801-466-9277

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Why do people in the United States get divorced so much? 40-50% sounds so extreme.

Why do people in the United States get divorced so much? A 40-50% divorce rate sounds so extreme.

First, know up front that there are, of course, some people who not only can clearly and in good conscience justify getting divorced. Still, the divorce rate is so high—too high—in the U.S. The main reason why is, in my experienced opinion, because we have a serious character problem in this country that is only getting worse. We drive Judeo Christian values out of virtually every public forum so that virtually no one is taught—let alone held to—public virtues and values of honesty, courage, the work ethic, charity, sacrifice for the greater good, education, humility, love, forgiveness, and personal responsibility. A marriage consisting of one or two people who don’t know and apply these values is doomed.

Of course there are some people who not only can clearly and in good conscience justify getting divorced. Good character does not require that one suffer perpetual violence and/or emotional abuse or put up with a spouse who neglects to care for his/her spouse and children, is unfaithful, habitually drunk or high, a or criminal (to name the most obvious reasons for divorce).

But far, far too many people divorce simply as a matter of personal preference, failing to understand that marriage takes all that good character requires. Honesty, patience, sacrifice, humility, love, forgiveness, and work, both inside and outside the home. A marriage consisting of one or two people who don’t know and apply these values is doomed, and most divorces that aren’t based upon real, serious fault of the other spouse and are instead a matter of seeming convenience don’t leave one (or the children of one’s destroyed family) better off.

Utah Family Law, LC | | 801-466-9277

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Do too many people have unrealistic expectations of what a marriage should be? Is this part of the reason why the divorce rate keeps increasing?

Do too many people have unrealistic expectations of what a marriage should be? Is this part of the reason why the divorce rate keeps increasing?

Yes and yes.

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