I will answer this question in the context of Utah law because Utah is the jurisdiction where I practice divorce and family law. It could be that other jurisdictions have similar laws or rules, but you will need to inquire with a lawyer who is licensed to practice law in your particular jurisdiction to be sure.
In Utah, a parent in this position may get some relief under § 30-3-3 by obtaining an order from the court that the other parent “to pay the costs, attorney fees, and witness fees, including expert witness fees, of the other party to enable the other party to prosecute or defend the action”. § 30-3-3 provides:
30-3-3. Award of costs, attorney and witness fees — Temporary alimony.
(1) In any action filed under Title 30, Chapter 3, Divorce, Chapter 4, Separate Maintenance, or Title 78B, Chapter 7, Part 6, Cohabitant Abuse Protective Orders, and in any action to establish an order of custody, parent-time, child support, alimony, or division of property in a domestic case, the court may order a party to pay the costs, attorney fees, and witness fees, including expert witness fees, of the other party to enable the other party to prosecute or defend the action. The order may include provision for costs of the action.
(2) In any action to enforce an order of custody, parent-time, child support, alimony, or division of property in a domestic case, the court may award costs and attorney fees upon determining that the party substantially prevailed upon the claim or defense. The court, in its discretion, may award no fees or limited fees against a party if the court finds the party is impecunious or enters in the record the reason for not awarding fees.
(3) In any action listed in Subsection (1), the court may order a party to provide money, during the pendency of the action, for the separate support and maintenance of the other party and of any children in the custody of the other party.
(4) Orders entered under this section prior to entry of the final order or judgment may be amended during the course of the action or in the final order or judgment.
I can’t speak for what the law is or how it applies in all jurisdictions, but I can answer this question as it would apply in the state of Utah, which is where I practice divorce and family law.
In Utah (as is the case in most jurisdictions), the law is that if a parent is awarded sole legal custody of a child, then that parent has the sole and exclusive authority to decide matters like who the child’s pediatrician and other health care providers will be, where the child goes to school, whether the child will practice a religion, and if so, which religion, whether the child will engage in any athletic and/or extracurricular activities, and if so, which athletic and or extracurricular activities.
So, a parent with sole legal custody who chooses to sign the child up to participate in a sport, whether that be a team sport or an individual sport like golf or martial arts, the other parent (it would be, in this case, the “non-legal-custodial parent” does not have the power or authority to withdraw the child from the sport.
But what if the sport in which the legal custodial parent has involved the child interferes with the other parents exercise of joint physical custody or visitation or parent time (if the other parent is a non-physical-custodial parent)? What if the amount of time spent in practice and in competition takes up hours or even days that prevent the child from spending that time with the other parent? In such a situation, it is not only possible, but likely that this parent would prevail in court if this parent filed a petition or motion with the court for an order that prevents the legal custodial parent from involving the children in sports or athletics or other activities that interfere with the exercise of physical custody or visitation/parent-time.
All you need to know regarding what your first steps should be is this:
determine whether you have a winning case for being awarded full or sole custody of the child;
to determine whether you have a winning case for being awarded full or sole custody of the child, the only practicable way to do that is to consult with a good (a good, not just any) child custody attorney who understands both the written and unwritten rules that govern child custody awards in your jurisdiction.
If you are asking to know the way to win child custody (when the other parent is fighting you tooth and nail) without having to pay a very heavy price in time, effort, pain, and money, there is no such way. There are no shortcuts. No, really. There are no shortcuts. No matter how much you want to believe otherwise, there are no shortcuts. There is no free lunch. Accept it.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277
Why do the courts give full custody to a parent who refuses to work but yet reduces custody of the working parent, saying they work too much?
In the belief that a parent who does not work outside the home is in a better position to take care of the child(ren) because it is presumed (rarely, if ever, proven) that the stay-at-home parent does not neglect the children at home.
As you implied, the parent who was the sole or primary breadwinner is far too often penalized based on the presumption (rarely, if ever, proven) that having a job renders that parent unable to provide adequate personal care, attention, and supervision of the children for the amount of time that parent seeks with the child(ren).
But if a parent with a job works so many hours and/or works a schedule that is simply not conducive to exercising joint custody of the children, that parent can’t get upset if the court takes that into account when crafting child custody award that does not award joint custody.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277
I am a father who has exercised at least 50/50 custody with my ex. Now she’s trying to take me to court for full custody and me getting every other weekend visits. How can I avoid losing 50/50 custody?
First, thank your lucky stars you are a father who currently has 50/50 custody of his children. Far, far too many fit and loving fathers who could easily exercise joint equal physical custody of their children and whose children would do nothing but benefit from the exercise of joint equal custody are needlessly and unjustifiably denied a joint equal child custody award by courts who simply cannot bring themselves to believe, much less conceive of, the idea that children being reared by both parents equally is better than relegating one parent to second class visitor status in his child’s life.
Second, the fact that you have been exercising at least 50–50 custody of your children for the past few years helps to make it much harder for your ex to build a case against you for modifying the child custody award in a manner that deprives both father and children of a 50–50 custody schedule. Again, be grateful this is the case, because if you were trying to win 50–50 custody of your children on the first go around during your divorce or other child custody legal action, the odds are grossly stacked against fit and loving fathers.
Third, if you are afraid that your judge is going to discriminate against you on the basis of sex, you need to understand this principle: “if it isn’t close, there cheating won’t matter.” Otherwise stated, you need to ensure that you win six ways from Sunday. you have to bring overwhelming amounts of evidence and proof into court, so that you leave the judge no option but to rule in your favor. Easier said than done, certainly, but now is not the time to become complacent or substitute hope for effort. Spare no expense to preserve your joint equal physical custody award. A necessary component of a winning case is that you are living a life beyond reproach. Get your house in order. If there is anything remotely amiss in your life, correct course immediately, clearly, and permanently.
Fourth, make sure you understand and that your attorney understands what statutory and case law factors and criteria govern the original child custody award and a petition to modify the original child custody award. It may be that your ex does not have sufficient grounds for a petition to modify child custody to survive a motion to dismiss.
Fifth and finally, do not take on a petition to modify child custody alone, without a vigilant and skilled attorneys assistance. There is an undeniable culture of bias and discrimination and prejudice against fathers when it comes to courts making child custody awards. This doesn’t mean that every judge in every court indulges in sexual discrimination against father, but it’s virtually impossible to tell the difference between an impartial judge and a biased one, and so you need an attorney who will not suffer fools gladly, who will defend the joint equal custody award.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277
My ex allows our children to watch TikTok. Is this grounds for seeking full custody?
I forbade my child from watching TikTok because I worry it lowers IQ.
However, my ex-spouse allows them to use it at their house. Is this child endangerment grounds for a lawsuit for full custody?
In my professional opinion (and remember, I’m not your attorney, I’m just sharing my opinion, so if you want to know what the law in your jurisdiction is and how it applies, consult a local attorney), no. Now if you could prove the child is watching pornographic TikTok videos or heinously violent TikTok videos while in the other parent’s care and custody or other videos that are so clearly inappropriate and harmful to child as to shock the conscience and cause a reasonable person to conclude that the child is clearly being seriously harmed as a result, then you may have grounds for asking a court to intervene and to take steps to protect the child, but that probably does not constitute sufficient not grounds for seeking sole legal and/or physical custody of the child.
How can my friend leave the father of her baby and get full custody, when she doesn’t trust him to look after the baby by himself?
The mother (or any parent in such a situation) would need to prove, by a preponderance of evidence, to the court that the father (or other parent) is sufficiently unfit to be entrusted with the child. Simply telling the court “I don’t trust the other parent” is not enough, not even close to enough to persuade the court. The mother would need to provide the court independently verifiable facts that show the father is either unable or unwilling to provide adequate care and attention and supervision of the child.
A court cannot award a parent sole legal and/or sole physical custody of a child without first finding there is sufficient evidence to justify such an award (or at least cannot do its job properly without first finding there is sufficient evidence to justify such an award).
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277