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Tag: judges

Mother Made False Accusations Against a Father to Win Custody and Had a Restraining Order Put in Place With No Evidence to Back Her Reason, Can This Be Overturned?

Can it be overturned? It is possible.

Will it be overturned? The odds don’t favor Dad. While some fathers who are falsely accused do obtain vindication, the odds are against them. Why?

There is an undeniable bias in favor of mothers who claim to be victims of abuse or who claim that their husbands/children’s father is abusive. Courts err on the side of caution, take a “better safe than sorry” approach. There are many reasons for this, including but not necessarily limited to: beliefs that women don’t lie about abuse, belief that children are generally better off in the sole or primary custody of their mothers, and cynically calculating that it’s better for the judge’s career to issue protective orders against men who are either innocent or there is a question of their innocence than it is to “take the chance” on innocent until proven guilty. When court’s engage in such behavior, it’s lazy, it’s cowardly, it’s judicial malfeasance.

How can/does a falsely accused parent (father or mother, for that matter) clear his/her good name? Short of the kinds of things one cannot control (i.e., suddenly getting a new, sympathetic judge because the old judge retired or got sick, etc.), the most effective way is: presenting the court with evidence so overwhelming that the court cannot deny it, cannot disregard it without looking biased and/or incompetent. Easier said than done, and not always possible, but it’s really the only moral option.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/Mother-made-false-accusations-against-a-father-to-win-custody-and-had-a-restraining-order-put-in-place-with-no-evidence-to-back-her-reason-can-this-be-overturned/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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Fair Treatment in Court by Braxton Mounteer, Legal Assistant.

The family law legal system likes to portray itself as a shining beacon of justice and equity, but I have seen first-hand that it is not. Whether it is opportunistic clients and their lawyers who will throw anything against the wall to see what sticks, or cowboy commissioners and judges who play fast and loose with the rules (and even make up their own), generally you will not get a fair shake (just a fair shake) unless you fight—and fight hard and extensively—for it.

Fight just to keep everyone honest? Really? Yes. Well, yes, in the sense that unless you don’t care about your own good character and subscribe to the “fight fire with fire” way of doing things.

If you have enough money, there is more than one lawyer out there that will take it and do and say basically whatever you want.

What about the commissioners and judges? Aren’t they motivated purely by upholding the law and the rules and dispensing justice impartially? Some are. Not all. It’s unpleasantly surprising to me how many domestic relations commissioners and judges indulge in pride, biases, apathy, and indolence.

If you know you’re innocent, if you know you’re a good person, that is rarely enough to ensure you’re treated fairly. What can you do if and when the deck is stacked against you because the opposing party is willing to lie, cheat, and steal his/her way to victory? You must fight with everything that you have. You must—if you can—produce overwhelming evidence that you are in the right (or the opposing side is in the wrong) if you are to have confidence that you will be treated fairly. That’s hard. That’s financially and emotionally exhausting. But there are no shortcuts.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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I Am Going through a Custody Battle and the Other Parent Is Making False Statements About Me in Court. What Can I Do to Protect Myself and My Child?

If you want just my direct answer to this question, skip to the last paragraph, but I submit that you’ll have a much better understanding of the answer if you read all of this first.

This is and has been a major, serious problem in family law for as long as I can remember. It’s not getting better. It victimizes far too many innocent people who naively trust the legal system to value truth and justice above all.

Guilt by accusation. Accuse your spouse of being an abusive parent, and immediately the accused finds himself or herself in a position of guilty until proven innocent.

Judges (and that includes the domestic relations commissioner) are, with due respect to them, quite often (so often; more often than you’d expect or hope, frankly) suckers for substituting and accepting the seriousness of the allegations over the substance of the evidence. Why?

Many people innately know, but struggle to articulate it, either because it’s subconscious or too shameful to admit: the cowardly, lazy allure of “better safe than sorry” and “abundance of caution”. “Treat all allegations of spousal or child abuse as true,” so the “reasoning” goes, “and that way we prevent abuse, whether real or imagined.” Why go to all the trouble of investigating, factfinding, and truth seeking when abusers might lie and get away with it? No, better to treat pretty much every abuse claim as true. And if innocent parents (mostly men, but a fair and growing number of women too) are the victims of such a policy (ruined reputations, loss of standing in the community, loss of friends, loss of employment, being persecuted), it’s a price worth paying (especially when the judges and commissioners themselves don’t pay that price themselves) “if it saves just one life.” It’s obvious nonsense (no judge who treats people this way would ever want to be treated that way), but that is culture of the modern legal system. I wish I could deny it, but I’d be lying, if I did.

“It is more important that innocence be protected than it is that guilt be punished, for guilt and crimes are so frequent in this world that they cannot all be punished.

But if innocence itself is brought to the bar and condemned, perhaps to die, then the citizen will say, ‘whether I do good or whether I do evil is immaterial, for innocence itself is no protection,’ and if such an idea as that were to take hold in the mind of the citizen that would be the end of security whatsoever.”

― John Adams

When it comes to accusations of abuse (or even danger of being abusive), it’s terrifyingly far too often the opposite of the “Better that a hundred guilty men go free than to convict one innocent man.”

So, if you are being falsely accused, don’t rely on “I can’t prove a negative,” “accuser has the burden of proof,” or “innocent until proven guilty.” If you can prove you’re innocent, do it. Do everything in your power to prove your innocence. Spend the money and the time and the effort to fight for and to prove your innocence. Strive to hold the courts to being competent and impartial because when it comes to allegations of spousal or child abuse, many courts will not exercise the courage to dismiss such claims for a lack of proof.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

(65) Eric Johnson’s answer to I am going through a custody battle and the other parent is making false statements about me in court. What can I do to protect myself and my child? – Quora

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Encourage Your Legislators to Vote Against H.B. (House Bill) 272 (2024 Utah General Legislative Session)

According to the “General Description” of H.B. 272, what’s not to like?:

Highlighted Provisions:

This bill:

▸ defines terms;

▸ in certain proceedings involving child custody:

  • specifies requirements for the admission of expert evidence; and
  • requires a court to consider evidence relating to domestic violence or abuse by a parent;

▸ imposes certain requirements and limitations regarding orders to improve the relationship between a parent and a child;

▸ requires the state court administrator to make recommendations regarding the education and training of court personnel involving child custody and related proceedings;

▸ requires that certain protective order proceedings comply with specific standards; and

▸ makes technical and conforming changes.

H.B. 272’s intentions are laudable, but the implementation, if H.B. 272 was made law, would be disastrous (and I choose my words carefully).

We don’t need more laws to prevent domestic violence and child abuse, reason being that more laws never have prevented and never will prevent (because they cannot prevent) domestic violence and child abuse.

Can you identify a single domestic violence victim who wouldn’t have been victimized but for a lack of legislation? Laws in the abstract don’t protect anyone. It’s the fair, effective, creation and enforcement of (needed) laws that protects. Passing more laws cannot guarantee anyone’s safety; laws and court orders don’t stop fists and bullets.

There are real DV and child abuse cases in the courts, but there are far too many fake ones in the courts (more than you likely imagine), and everyone knows why courts are afraid to acknowledge and condemn it: because they’re afraid they’ll be branded as “insensitive” and “uncaring” about DV and child abuse. So judges and commissioners who don’t want to “get it wrong,” overcompensate by “finding” DV and abuse that isn’t there. That way, nobody can claim the courts don’t care, and if innocent people go to prison and become pariahs as a result, “well, better him/her than me.” That’s not justice. That’s not rule of law.

Regarding the proposal in H.B. 272 for amending Section 30-3-10, determining credibility is the sole province of the court. Thus, the problem with “a credible allegation of child abuse” is that few courts can resist the temptation to err on the side of caution by treating virtually any allegation of child abuse as “credible”. To err on the side of caution is still error. Worse, it’s error knowingly committed for the sake of protecting the commissioner or judge from being criticized (or worse) for “getting it wrong.” See the article: Erring on the Side of Hidden Harm.

When judges are told “you need to do a better job identifying protecting DV and child abuse victims,” you’re telling judges to do a job that is not theirs. Overwhelmed judges will (unfortunately) respond to such unfair burdens simply by “finding” more DV and child abuse victims, and then say to the legislature, “Satisfied now?” That benefits no one. It erodes public trust in the courts.

There is a tremendous volume of false DV and child abuse claims. Indeed, I deal with more false claims than real claims at the district court level as a divorce and family law attorney. If you feel judges must “get more training” in the field of DV and child abuse, then requiring them to learn how better to identify real DV and child abuse inherently requires requiring them to learn how better to identify fake DV and child abuse claims.

It is unfair to demand of judges that they compensate for what the litigants might fail to do, i.e., gather and present the evidence necessary to prevail.

“More DV and abuse detection training for judges” sounds good but isn’t. If the state can’t afford more and better judges (and we need to accept that, if it can’t), “more DV and abuse training” is a counterproductive half-measure. If the legislature wants to spend more money on judge training, then spend that money helping judges learn and develop better command of the law, of evidence, and of sound adjudication.

The idea that state district court judges “need more training” in every particular dispute they hear is a problem generally. Our judges cannot become experts on every area of law, nor are they expected to be. All that a judge needs to do competently (and can be expected to do competently) is weigh the evidence presented to him/her correctly and apply the facts to the law that governs the case correctly.

We could “protect kids” from abuse by locking up every parent–that way they can’t abuse their kids. Of course, that way they can’t love and take care of their kids either. We will never solve DV and child abuse with more laws, but we will victimize the innocent if we howl for more witch hunt lawmaking.

Draconian creation and/or enforcement of laws like those proposed by H.B. 272 “protects” some by violating the rights of others. As does legislating and adjudicating on a “better safe than sorry” basis (regardless of whether it’s sincere), instead of on the facts (including the lack thereof). Experts can be helpful, but most cause more confusion than they dispel. Child custody cases today don’t suffer from a lack of expert input, rarely from a lack of needed or even warranted expert input, competent expert input, or justice-promoting expert input. “Expertise” on abuse (whatever this ever-expanding definition of “abuse” is coming to mean) is too subjective and pseudoscientific. This is why HB 272 would ultimately do more harm than good.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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What’s wrong with divorce mediation in Utah?

Much.

And much that you can prevent, once you know what to avoid, what to do, and why.

Profiteering mediators. It’s hard to find anyone selling goods or services these days who isn’t trying to take advantage of the client or customer. Mediators (not all mediators, but many—more than I’d care to admit) are no exception.

Overworked, understaffed judges that don’t want to do their jobs, and so they pressure divorce litigants into settling. I’ve personally witnessed judges and commissioners telling divorce litigants that they should settle because “I [the judge] will probably do a worse job with your case than you can.”

A fundamental misunderstanding of how and why successful mediation succeeds. Courts and lawyers have lost sight of what makes for good mediation, i.e., conflict resolution that is faster, less expensive, less acrimonious, more suited to the particular circumstances of the family, and more likely to result in less future litigation.

“Shuttle mediation”. If you are preparing for your divorce mediation, learn about shuttle mediation and avoid it.

  • With rare exception (such as when a party is truly terrified of being in the same room with another, or if there is a protective order in place that bars the parties from being in each other’s physical presence), shuttle mediation is an inexcusable waste of time, money, and duplicative effort.
  • Shuttle mediation at least doubles the time a mediation would otherwise take were the parties speaking to each other across the same table or in the same Zoom meeting.
  • Because the only participant in shuttle mediation who speaks to the disputing parties is the mediator (the parties don’t speak to each other directly in shuttle mediation), the mediator can manipulate the negotiation process by telling one party one thing and the other party something completely different (and many mediators cannot resist that temptation).
  • Many mediators like shuttle mediation because by doubling or even tripling the amount of time it causes mediation to take, mediators thus double or triple their fees over what they’d otherwise earn were the parties all in the same room or in the same Zoom conference.
  • The way mediation is scheduled and held is also incredibly inefficient and wasteful. Parties should go to mediation after exchanging with each other written comprehensive settlement proposals. So much time is wasted in mediation doing anything but actual negotiation.

While you are required to engage in mediation to try to settle your divorce case, you are not required to engage in shuttle mediation. If your spouse will see reason and agree to avoid shuttle mediation, then ensure that your mediator is not a shuttle mediator.

Mediation isn’t necessary if the parties and their respective attorneys are willing to negotiate without a mediator. If the parties can discuss the case and negotiate without a mediator, they are free to do so. Few attorneys, however, are willing to do this. Why I do not know. But if you are a client and you believe your spouse (and his/her attorney) is willing to meet in settlement negotiations without a mediator, try it! If such negotiations fail, you can always go to mediation next.

Parties (usually because of their attorneys) wait too long to discuss and negotiate settlement. Attorneys make less money when cases settle sooner than later. Don’t go into mediation unprepared, of course, but don’t put it off any longer than necessary.

Too much time in mediation sessions is not spent in actual negotiation. Consequently, mediation ends up being incredibly inefficient and wasteful. Often the first 2/3 of the time spent in mediation is spent “getting up to speed,” with the mediator giving an “introductory speech” about how mediation works and with both the mediator and often unprepared attorneys trying to get an understanding of the case and what the issues are. All of that can and should be dealt with before the mediation settlement conference itself.

  • The mediator should send the parties a link to his/her written and recorded “introduction to mediation” presentation to read/listen to/watch before everyone meets in the mediation settlement conference.
  • The parties should meet in mediation only after:

o   expeditiously conducting necessary discovery, so that the material and relevant facts are known to the parties; and

o   then exchanging with each other (and providing the mediator with copies of) their written comprehensive settlement proposals, so that everyone knows in advance 1) what the issues are and 2) what the initial respective positions of the parties on the issues are.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Some hard truths about divorce litigation in Utah.

To those of you who ask, “How did I lose that argument in my divorce case? The judge couldn’t say why he/she believed my witness(es) over my spouse’s witness(es)!”:

A district court “may make findings, credibility determinations, or other assessments without detailing its justification for finding particular evidence more credible or persuasive than other evidence supporting a different outcome.” Shuman v. Shuman, 2017 UT App 192, ¶ 6, 406 P.3d 258 (quotation simplified), cert. denied, 412 P.3d 1257 (Utah 2018).

To those of you who ask, “How could the court dismiss the opinions of my expert witness?”:

“Courts are not bound to accept the testimony of an expert and are free to judge the expert testimony as to its credibility and its persuasive influence in light of all of the other evidence in the case.” Barrani v. Barrani, 2014 UT App 204, ¶ 4, 334 P.3d 994 (quotation simplified).

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Gaming Child Support as the Child Support Recipient

Many people complain (justifiably) about child support in this regard: parents who qualify to receive child support or to receive more child support by being unemployed, underemployed or who deliberately work lower paying jobs than they are qualified to do, and who then spend those support funds on themselves, not on the needs of the children.

It’s a very good point. We all know (and so do the courts) about child support recipients who (for lack of a better word) “embezzle” child support funds for their own personal use. It happens frequently, unfortunately. And it is hard to detect and to prove to a court. Even if one can prove that child support funds are being misspent by the recipient parent, most courts throw their hands in the air and say, effectively, “OK, so I agree that mom/dad is misspending the funds. What do you want me to do now? Order that you pay less child support? That will only result in the children having less, ‘cuz the recipient ain’t gonna have an epiphany and start spending the lower amount of support on the kids.” It’s a no-win situation for the innocents (children and payor alike).

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Mandatory Lethality Assessments on Domestic Violence Calls. In Other Words: Pandora’s Box

The Utah State Legislature passed this into law an amendment to Utah Code § 77-36-2.1, which was effective May 3, 2023. The newly amended code section now requires police officers to conduct “lethality assessments” in response to domestic violence calls under certain circumstances.

My immediate reaction to this news was: Oh, no, but I didn’t share that on my blog because I wanted to ensure I didn’t come to any hasty, erroneous conclusions. Now that I’ve had time to reflect on the subject, my reaction is: Oh, no.

While I have no doubt that the intention behind lethality assessments is sincere, I worry about whether lethality assessments will be conducted to protect domestic violence victims or conducted to protect the police.

If you’re a law enforcement officer who doesn’t want to be blamed for failing to protect a victim or potential victim, then what reason would you have not to “err on the side of caution” when you conduct lethality assessments? Essentially, the thinking goes: “I don’t want to be blamed for failing to protect someone from domestic violence. I don’t want to be accused of being insensitive to the vulnerable. So, if the mere allegation of domestic violence arises, I will punish the accused and I 1) won’t look like I’m soft on domestic violence and 2) will appear to be preventing crime (even if there is no crime).”

I’m concerned that lethality assessments can be abused by those who report domestic violence and those who respond to reports of domestic violence, that lethality assessments, which are intended to be a shield to the vulnerable, would be abused as a weapon against innocent people who aren’t violent and/or who don’t pose a threat of violence.

As a divorce lawyer, I am particularly concerned about the potential for lethality assessments to be abused by spouses and parents who are plotting a divorce or child custody action and who make false allegations of domestic violence to gain an advantage over the other spouse or parent in the divorce and or child custody action. Then, not only do we have to worry about police officers who might err on the side of caution when conducting lethality assessments, but we also have to worry about judges who would do the same (“I have my doubts about the credibility of that lethality assessment in the record. But if I say I don’t believe it, then I might appear indifferent to domestic violence. Or if it turns out that the accused is violent, then I’ll be blamed for ‘ignoring’ the lethality assessment. Better for me to err on the side of caution.”).

I am also worried that, following the mandate to conduct lethality assessments, the domestic violence hustlers will “discover” a raft of domestic violence “risk” or “danger” that had heretofore gone “undetected” based upon the lethality assessments data, and that it will be offered as proof that lethality assessments “work”. I’m worried that people will claim that the self-proclaimed domestic violence victims are proof that they are domestic violence victims because of the lethality assessment, which is nothing other than a record of one’s subjective claims of being a victim.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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What Does a Legal Assistant Think of Going Pro Se? By Braxton Mounteer

The term for representing yourself in court is “pro se” or “pro per”.

Can you navigate the legal system successfully without a lawyer representing you in your case?

Before I became a legal assistant, I thought the answer to that question was, “Well, it won’t be easy, but how hard could it be, if I tried my best?” You’d be forgiven if you think that way too. Many people do. With the exception of a few who are so rare as to make them statistically insignificant, however, going pro se is a recipe for failure.

To win a case, you need admissible evidence and enough admissible evidence. Do you know (really know) whether you have admissible evidence and enough admissible evidence? If not, proceeding pro se puts you at risk of losing.

To win a case, you first need to know whether the law supports your position. Do you know the law? Can you cite the sections of code and what rules of civil procedure and rules of evidence that apply? Do they support your position? If not, proceeding pro se puts you at risk of losing.

To win a case, you need to present your evidence and your legal argument in compliance with the rules of court and in an engaging and persuasive manner. Do you know how to do that? If not, proceeding pro se puts you at risk of losing.

Even if you went up against a brand new, inexperienced lawyer, who would you bet on? Someone with a college education, plus three years of law school (maybe more), or someone who read some blogs and watched some YouTube videos? Now add 5 to 30 years of experience to the lawyer’s side of the ledger. Do you really think you’re on a level playing field?

Would you go into unfamiliar terrain without a guide? The legal profession, the legal system, and court proceedings are all unfamiliar territory, and you can easily get lost and hurt in unfamiliar territory.

And then there’s the problem that is not so intuitive: you’re not in the club. Most judges and lawyers resent people who believe they can do what legal professionals do. Even pro se litigants who have the evidence, the law, and the arguments down can still lose just because the judge and lawyers don’t want you getting uppity.

Pro se is a path that is not for the faint of heart. It will be an uphill battle at best. If you go the pro se route, you will face people who are more knowledgeable, more experienced, and more skilled than you are or can reasonably ever hope to be.

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Artificial Fraudulence

Seth Godin stated it well when he wrote, “The ease with which someone can invent and spread lies [with advancing technology] is going to take most of us by surprise. It’s going to require an entirely new posture for understanding the world around us.”

This is especially true in family law.

We will soon reach the point (some are there already) in family law where a spouse or parent can create fake email, text, and audio and visual “records” of spousal and child abuse, substance abuse, infidelity, assets and debt, property damage, diminution and dissipation of assets, scientific data, etc. that is all but indistinguishable from the genuine article. The level and volume of fakery will be impossible for all but the wealthiest of litigants to discern (and even then, if a duped judge is too proud or to biased to acknowledge and remedy the fraud, all the proof in the world won’t protect the innocent). When truth is practicably impossible to verify in the legal process, truth becomes meaningless to the process.

I don’t know how best to address this problem (it may already be too late). Unless the profession takes immediate and wise action, the liars will make such a mockery of the legal process so fast and so pervasively that trust in the system will be irreparably destroyed (and with good reason). We may reach a point where society at large gives up on the notion of justice being a function of truth (reality).

One concern I have is members of the profession (both opposing counsel and judges) acting “offended” for outraged or “concerned” if somebody claims that deepfakes and other similar tactics are being engaged. I’m concerned that someone who may in the utmost sincerity raise legitimate concerns about the authenticity and veracity of certain evidence being ridiculed as paranoid, a vexatious litigator, unprofessional, etc. Not out of a genuine belief, but in the hopes that shaming or even persecuting the whistleblower will result in the claims being retracted so that the hard work of getting to the truth can be avoided and or so that the desired outcome is not impeded by the facts. When that happens, then who will judge the judges, and by what standard?

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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What does temporary custody without prejudice mean?

It means that the child custody order is a temporary, as opposed to a permanent and final, order of the court. 

Why would a court enter a temporary child custody order? For obvious reasons and necessity. If to parents are fighting over custody of a child and what the ultimate child custody and parent time order will be, it will likely take a year or two before that case goes to trial. The child needs to be taken care of during that period (known as the pendente lite period in the litigation; pendent lite literally means “while the litigation is pending”), and so the court will issue temporary orders as to how much time the child spends with each parent until the final child custody order is made.  

These temporary orders are not to be intended have a “prejudicial” effect on the outcome of the final child custody award (but that is rarely the case).  

“Prejudicial” in a legal sense means a preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience, harm or injury that results or may result from some action or judgment. As you can imagine, if the existence or purported success of a temporary order was cited by the court as evidence that the temporary order must become the permanent order of the court, then the so-called “temporary” order is anything but. To assert that a temporary custody order has proven itself to be better than any other possible custody order on the grounds that it has been in place to the exclusion of any other possible custody arrangement would be an example of giving the temporary order prejudicial impact and effect.  

And now to address the elephant in the room:  

Courts routinely claim that temporary child custody orders cannot and will not have a prejudicial effect on the final child custody order. That is simply not true.  

Now clearly, if a court found the temporary orders to be disastrous for the child, and the court will need to impose a different permanent custody order for the sake of the child’s welfare and the sake of the court’s legitimacy.  

But what about a temporary order that isn’t best for the child but isn’t manifestly catastrophic? How can anyone believe a judge who says that he or she isn’t looking to the track record of that sub-optimal, so-called temporary order when determining what the permanent child custody order should be?  

It takes an extremely intellectually disciplined judge to disregard that temporary orders track record as evidence in favor of that temporary custody arrangement.  

Instead, however, most judges will take the path of least resistance and adopt as the permanent order a temporary order that hasn’t been a patent failure, and then cite in support of that decision the fact that the parent opposing that schedule has “failed to produce sufficient evidence” to rebut the proposition that the so-called temporary order is in the best interest of the child. Judges will deny that they do this, but it’s obvious that they do. Do you see the problem with this approach?  

When the court: 

  • imposes one and only one custody schedule during the pendente lite phase of the case, 
  • claims that this one and only one schedule will not have a prejudicial effect on the ultimate permanent child custody order,  
  • refuses to implement any other proposed schedule to test and evaluate it against the other schedule,  
  • bars the other parent from implementing his/her proposed custody schedule in any kind of real life/real-time setting during the pendente lite phase,  
  • then cites to the other parent having failed to produce sufficient fact(s) that his/her proposed custody schedule better serves the best interest of the child,  
  • and cites to the track record of the so-called non-prejudicial temporary order as fact(s) in support of the argument for imposing it as a permanent order,  

the so-called non-prejudicial temporary order is anything but. 

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

https://www.quora.com/What-does-temporary-custody-without-prejudice-mean/answer/Eric-Johnson-311  

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Is staying with parents during pregnancy grounds for filing for divorce?

You don’t have to come up with creative reasons for getting a divorce anymore in the age of no-fault divorce (in the U.S.A.). 

You don’t have to find a reason to blame your spouse for seeking a divorce from your spouse. No-fault divorce literally means “no fault” need be shown as grounds for divorce. 

With these facts in mind, you almost don’t need to come up with an excuse a “good reason” to obtain a divorce anymore. I say “almost” because while it is true that you do not have to ascribe fault to your spouse as grounds for divorce, you usually have to give a legally recognized reason for the divorce, and in the jurisdiction where I practice divorce law (Utah), the no-fault basis that I’ve yet to have a court question or reject is “irreconcilable differences of the marriage”. Technically, a court could challenge one’s claims of irreconcilable differences and, if it determines that there are not, in fact, irreconcilable differences between the spouses, the court could deny the request for a decree of divorce and dismissed the divorce action, but I’ve never seen that happen in the 25 years I’ve been practicing law to date, and I doubt I ever will.  

Many would question the wisdom of no-fault divorce laws and their unintended consequences, but that doesn’t change the fact that no-fault divorce exists and exists in every state in the United States of America. 

So if you want a divorce, but you don’t have the typical fault-based grounds available to you, it doesn’t matter anymore. 

Now, to answer your specific question: if you sought a divorce purely on the grounds that your spouse lived with her parents during pregnancy, that would probably fail as grounds for divorce. However, if you were to allege that her separation from you for the duration of her pregnancy has caused irreconcilable differences, and you could prove that the marriage is irretrievably broken as a result, you’d win. You’d get a divorce. You might look like a heel for divorcing on those grounds, especially if your wife had good reason to need to spend most or all of her pregnancy in the presence and care of her parents (such as a high-risk pregnancy where she would need someone constantly with her in the event of an emergency or a sudden need to visit the hospital or doctor), but if you just couldn’t stand the fact that your wife stays with her parents during pregnancy and that cause you to give up on the marriage, the court would probably give you a divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences. 

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

https://www.quora.com/Is-staying-with-parents-during-pregnancy-a-divorce-cause/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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Is there anything that can surprise a judge during a divorce proceeding?

Is there anything that can surprise a judge during a contested divorce proceeding?  

Of course.  

We’ve all read about cases where all of the circumstantial evidence indicated the defendant is guilty, only to be surprised in the eleventh hour some piece of evidence that conclusively proves he couldn’t be guilty, but that someone else is the perpetrator.  

We know, sadly, of people mistakenly or wrongfully convicted, which often comes as a surprise (because we hate the idea that the justice system can be and in such cases is corrupt at one or more levels): 

https://nypost.com/2021/12/01/alice-sebold-apologizes-to-man-wrongly-convicted-of-her-rape/  

https://innocenceproject.org/all-cases/ 

And we’ve all, unfortunately, learned of cases where the defendant was falsely accused, which surprises some. See: 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duke_lacrosse_case 

Of course. I will describe one common way a judge can be surprised (especially in divorce and family law cases): like all of us, judges have their own worldviews based upon their individual personal experiences, what they were taught as they grew up, their own beliefs and biases. A good judge tries to be as aware as possible of these things, so that he/she will not take a subject approach to the case but will follow where the evidence leads according to what the law dictates.  

One of the things that many subjective-minded judges tend to do in divorce and child custody disputes is believe the woman/mother to be: 

  • honest 
  • the better parent of the two 
  • financially dependent on her husband 
  • under the husband’s explicit or implicit control (whether that be financially, emotionally/psychologically, physically, or both) 
    • victimized in some way (whether great or small) by the husband, if the wife claims to have been. Extremely common examples: “He controlled all the money, wouldn’t tell me how much/how little we had, and wouldn’t give me any to spend,” and/or “He forbade me from having a job,” and/or “He physically/sexually/emotionally abused me and/or the children,” and/or “He forced me to engage in sexual acts that I found objectionable/humiliating,” and/or “He never shared in the household chores and childrearing.” 

Don’t get me wrong; many wives/mothers are all of these things, but not always. But 25 years as a divorce and family lawyer I can tell you that in my experiences some judges presume the women to be some of these things simply by virtue of them being women, and if the wife/mother makes claims to being any of these things, the judge will often treat such claims as “prima facie” established until the husband/father refutes/rebuts them.  

Consequently, it often surprises some such judges when a husband/father proves* that, while he is not perfect: 

  • he is honest and/or the wife/mother has been lying about him or on the subject of other issues in the divorce and/or child custody case. 
  • he is either just as good a parent as his wife or the better parent of the two 
    • and if he proves he’s the better parent, that often comes as so big of a shock to some courts that the court cannot/will not bring itself to accept such a concept, let alone such a fact 
  • that if the wife/mother is in fact financially dependent on him (as many wives often are, though decreasingly so in modern society), he has been forthright and transparent about financial matters with his wife  
  • that he does not exercise any kind of force or control over his wife and/or children but is decent, loving, and treats all of his family members fairly and well 

*Getting over that bar is often extremely difficult, sometimes impossible for some husbands/fathers with some judges.  

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

https://www.quora.com/Is-there-anything-that-can-surprise-a-judge-during-a-contested-divorce-proceeding/answer/Eric-Johnson-311  

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I signed a CPS safety plan but the court orders protective supervision.

What happens if I signed a CPS safety plan but the court orders protective supervision? 

The court’s order supersedes the agreement. 

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

https://www.quora.com/What-happens-if-I-signed-a-CPS-safety-plan-but-the-court-orders-protective-supervision/answer/Eric-Johnson-311  

 

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What should I tell my lawyer who says that a motion to dismiss is not real?

What should I say to my lawyer who told me that a motion to dismiss isn’t really a thing so we cannot file one?

It may be that a motion to dismiss is in fact not possible (not permitted by the rules under the circumstances of your case) or not wise under the circumstances (possible, but a bad idea), even though you believe otherwise. a lot of people are familiar with certain legal jargon without knowing what it means, and they often throw it around ignorantly and inaccurately. 

I can’t tell you how many times clients have come to me believing they have rights to do this or rights not to do that, only to find out that their understanding was erroneous. 

A few examples: thinking you have a right to certain documents (or every document known to man) under the “Freedom of Information Act”, believing you don’t have to answer provide requested documents or answer certain questions in a deposition or at trial if they claim that the information sought from them is “private” or “confidential,” believing that because they know the truth/right thing to do, the court must agree with them. 

If you have an idea and your lawyer shoots it down without you understanding why, don’t be afraid to ask your lawyer to explain it to you. If your lawyer can’t do that, your idea may not be so bad (but instead your lawyer may not be up to the task). 

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

https://www.quora.com/What-should-I-say-to-my-lawyer-who-told-me-that-a-motion-to-dismiss-isnt-really-a-thing-so-we-cannot-file-one/answer/Eric-Johnson-311 

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How do you win a case against your ex for false accusations?

If you find an attorney who knows a sure-fire, fail-safe way to defend an ex-spouse or an ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend against “false accusations,” that attorney is likely a multimillionaire because possessing such a skill/power would be superhuman/miraculous. 

False accusations exist because they often work. They often work because judges are not infallible and undeceivable.

False allegations calculated to exploit a judge’s compassion, pity, vanity, fears, self-interest, and biases are easy to “prove” or at least hard to persuade a judge to reject, even if the judge is skeptical of the merits of the allegations. Such as? Allegations of domestic violence, spouse abuse, child abuse, and stalking. No judge wants to respond to such allegations by denying “relief” in response to such allegations on the grounds that the applicant has failed to carry her (it’s almost always a woman; that may not be politically correct, but it’s true) burden of proof, only to have the respondent put her in the hospital or morgue later, so judges knowingly and deliberately err on the side of caution, taking a “better safe than sorry” approach. That way, they don’t end up in the news and taking flak for “failing” hapless victims. Sure, recklessly issued restraining and protective orders ruin the lives of innocent guys, but so what? That doesn’t make the news and the judge doesn’t have to worry about losing his/her job over it. 

https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-win-a-case-against-your-ex-for-false-accusations-I-just-recently-found-out-she-did-it-to-her-ex-husband-He-got-found-not-guilty-and-we-were-living-together-at-the-time-of-the-accusations/answer/Eric-Johnson-311  

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

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Law from a legal assistant’s point of view, week 34: Electing judges

Law from a legal assistant’s point of view, week 34: Electing judiciary officials

By Quinton Lister, legal assistant 

I mentioned in a previous post that if I were to build my own legal system that I would make all judiciary officials publicly elected officials. However, I recognize there are pros and cons to electing judges.  

PROS (as I see them): 

  1. Having elected judges would increase the accountability judiciary officials have to the public. In Utah, we can vote to retain a judge, but we do not vote them into office, as they are appointed by the governor.
  2. Electing judges allows the people to have a greater voice in the justice system. What better way to ensure that the judges represent the people then allowing the people to elect the judges?
  3. A judge who is elected has more incentive to act in accordance with the voice of the people, especially if they face re-election. They cannot “rest on their laurels” so to speak.

CONS (as I see them): 

  1. Elected judiciary officials are more susceptible to the influence of special interests. As is the case with any publicly elected official, big money can and will throw its funds behind the candidate they believe will represent their particular interests, even when those interest are contrary to the public interest. 
  2. Publicly elected judiciary officials have more incentive to “legislate from the bench” to appease their constituents
  3. * Electing judges can result in inexperienced judges, if the same judge can’t get re-elected. Electing judges can result in a revolving door of new judges coming in and out of the judiciary each election cycle.

*This could be a potential pro in the eyes of some. 

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Do I need to show up for court if I was never served papers?

Do I need to show up for court if I was never served papers? I live in South Carolina.

I cannot speak for or about the jurisdiction of South Carolina because I practice law in Utah (so you need to inquire with a lawyer who is licensed to practice in South Carolina), but I can tell you a few things as a general rule of thumb: 

  • Many people are under the mistaken belief that “if they don’t give me them court papers first, the court is powerless to do anything to me”. Not true. Good faith, duly diligent efforts to effectuate service of process on you or at least—depending on the proceedings—notice to you is generally required before court action can be taken against you, but if, despite duly diligent efforts to locate you or chase you down to hand you “them court papers,” you cannot be found or served, there are other ways that a court will deem you to have been served and/or put on notice. 
  • If you hide in an effort to evade service/notice, the court will take that into account and hold that against you. No one can game the system this way. When that happens, the court can order that service on you be accomplished through alternative means. Such as? For example: 
    • the court could order that notice be mailed to your last known address (if you’re not there, that’s your problem, not the court’s); 
    • the court could order that notice be given in the form of an email or text message (to your last-known email address or phone number; if the email address or phone number used is not an address or number you use anymore, that’s your problem, not the court’s); 
    • the court could order that notice be given in the form of an instant message to an open social media account of yours (if you don’t use it anymore, but didn’t close it, that’s your problem, not the court’s); 
    • courts could (as they did frequently in the past, but not so much nowadays) give notice by publishing a notice in the “legal notices”” section of the newspaper (kids, for those of you too young to know what a newspaper is, you can click here) 
  • So if you think that avoiding service of process or closing your eyes and ears to notice is going to thwart the court or the opposing party, the joke’s on you. 
  • If you think you don’t have to appear in court merely because you didn’t receive service of process or notice (or more accurately, did your darnedest to ensure you didn’t get service or notice), again, the joke’s on you.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

https://www.quora.com/Do-I-need-to-show-up-for-court-if-I-was-never-served-papers-I-live-in-South-Carolina/answer/Eric-Johnson-311 

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Is it true that family courts get paid from child support payments?

Is it true that family courts get paid from child support payments? Can someone explain it to me or link me to an article that explains it? 

The courts do not collect child support, they issue orders that and title and enable someone to collect the child support funds. So, while the courts do not get paid to collect child support, the agencies of the state that collect child support do charge a collection fee that they deduct from every payment they collect. 

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

https://www.quora.com/Is-it-true-that-family-courts-get-paid-from-child-support-payments-Can-someone-explain-it-to-me-or-link-me-to-an-article-that-explains-it/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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