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Tag: life

How do I console a father who has lost custody of his child?

How do I console a father who has lost custody of his child?

“He’s [the father who lost custody] permanently damaged.” That’s what someone else wrote in response to your question. It’s true. Time lost between a parent and child is never found. These kinds of wounds can heal, but rarely will they heal fully or not leave scars.

There is still not just some consolation, but much consolation to be found, however.

First, all of us suffer injustices in life yet the overwhelming majority of us still have far more reasons to be happy than miserable. So does Dad. That’s not a Pollyanna view of life, it’s a fact. And a fact one must not let grief blind Dad to.

If one focuses on the negative to the exclusion of the good and positive, then all one will see is the negative and miss out on most or even all of the good. Parents who are alienated from their children have an obligation to themselves not to dwell on it. Feel the pain, of course. Don’t deny it. It’s inevitable and it’s necessary to let the pain run its proper course before you can start to recover.

But don’t let the pain drown you. Don’t let the pain and the bitterness deprive you of all the other good things life has in store for you. That’s what your alienating ex-spouse is hoping for. At the very least don’t give your alienating ex-spouse the satisfaction. Your kids need to see you can rise above this so that they believe they can rise above adversity too.

Second and more importantly (and this is the truth, even if it’s new to you or you think it’s silly; regardless, you have nothing to lose by exploring whether there really is consolation to be found here), by suffering and dying for you (and for your children), Jesus Christ has the power not only to right all wrongs in the next life, but has the power to comfort you and help you heal in this life now as well.

https://youtu.be/4NhzPuNcGkA?t=405

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-console-a-father-who-has-lost-custody-of-his-child/answer/Eric-Johnson-311?prompt_topic_bio=1

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What would you do if your child’s father who is only entitled to supervised visitation filed for a modification of a court order so a family member you don’t approve of could supervise visits?

What would you do if your child’s father who is only entitled to supervised visitation filed for a modification of a court order so a family member you don’t approve of could supervise visits?

Here’s what I would do:

First, remember that merely claiming that the proposed visitation supervisor poses a clear and serious danger to the child’s mental or emotional health without having proof or some highly credible evidence does not simply make for a weak argument, it could call your credibility into question.

  • I would first ask: if you have proof or highly credible evidence that there anything about this proposed visitation supervisor that poses a clear and factual (or at least credible) danger to the child’s life, safety, or health.
    • If the answer is “yes,” then you probably have at least one very good argument against having this person approved as a visitation supervisor.
  • If the answer is “no,” then I would ask if there anything about this proposed visitation supervisor that poses a clear and factual (or at least credible) danger to the life, safety, or health of the other parent or of anyone else?
    • If the answer is “yes,” then you probably have at least one very good argument against having this person approved as a visitation supervisor.
  • If the answer is “no,” then I would ask: if there anything about this proposed visitation supervisor that poses a clear and factual (or at least credible) danger to the child’s mental or emotional health?
    • If the answer is “yes,” then you probably have at least one very good argument against having this person approved as a visitation supervisor.
  • If the answer is “no,” then I would ask if there is anything about this proposed visitation supervisor that poses a clear and factual (or at least credible) danger to the mental or emotional health of the other parent or of anyone else?
    • If the answer is “yes,” then you probably have at least one very good argument against having this person approved as a visitation supervisor.
  • If the answer is “no,” then I would ask if there is anything about the proposed supervisor that indicates he/she is not available to provide supervision as needed and/or cannot provide supervision responsibly and reliably.
    • If the answer is “yes,” then you probably have at least one very good argument against having this person approved as a visitation supervisor.
  • If the answer is “no,” then I would likely see no point to objecting to the proposed supervisor because I would have no valid argument against the appointment of this supervisor.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/What-would-you-do-if-your-childs-father-who-is-only-entitled-to-supervised-visitation-filed-for-a-modification-of-a-court-order-so-a-family-member-you-dont-approve-of-could-supervise-visits/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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When did you know that divorce was the option you were going to choose?

When did you know that divorce was the option you were going to choose?

First, make sure that if you reach the conclusion that you need a divorce that you really do need a divorce. Clearly, a marriage that, through no fault of your own, threatens your life, health, or safety is a marriage you don’t have wonder is worth staying in another moment. But in every other situation, divorce is not a decision to take lightly.

Some people think they need a divorce when they do not. They mistakenly believe that a divorce will be the solution to problems that the marriage is not causing or a solution to problems the marriage is causing when there are better solutions than divorce (many people have told me after their divorce that they wish they had not taken such drastic measures and had tried harder to save their marriage because they realized that 1) the marriage was worth saving and they didn’t “know what they got till It’s gone” and/or 2) divorce only made matters worse).

Even if you do not believe that individual counseling or therapy and/or marriage and family therapy will work for you and your spouse (or your whole family, if that’s a concern), you do not want to live with the regrets that come from wondering “what might have been”. Start reading the scriptures and going to church. Seek wisdom, guidance, and help beyond your own abilities (even if you think it’s a stupid idea, try it before you reject it out of hand). Before taking the drastic, painful, scarring, costly, and permanent step of divorce, try to find out whether the problem(s) in your marriage and family lie(s) with something than your spouse. Try to find out if the problem(s) can and should be solved without divorce. If, after taking these steps, you honestly conclude that your marriage cannot be salvaged, that is when you can and should file for divorce confident in your choice.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/When-did-you-know-that-divorce-was-the-option-you-were-going-to-choose/answer/Eric-Johnson-311?prompt_topic_bio=1

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How do I fight a DUI without a lawyer?

How do I fight a DUI without a lawyer?

You don’t. Too much at stake. Too hard to do on your own. I’m a lawyer (a divorce and family law attorney), and although I don’t drink, if I were charged with DUI (even if I knew I was innocent), I wouldn’t try to defend myself without the help of a skilled and experienced criminal defense attorney who knows DUI law and defense backward and forward.

It’s a shame that lawyers are so expensive. I get it. But a DUI can cripple you for years, even for life, sometimes. You have to defend yourself hard because no one else in the system will go to bat for you. The prosecutors and judge aren’t interested in your story (they’ve heard them all and they’re jaded beyond belief).

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-fight-a-DUI-without-a-lawyer/answer/Eric-Johnson-311?prompt_topic_bio=1

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Can you get a restraining order against a minor if you’re an adult?

Certainly.

Restraining orders are for the protection of the person needing the protection, and if a child is a threat to your life or safety and you can prove that to the satisfaction of the court, you can get a restraining order against that child.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/Can-you-get-a-restraining-order-against-a-minor-when-youre-of-age-yourself/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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