Tag: losing

How do you win financially in a divorce?

It depends upon what you mean by “win financially.” Man divorcing people define this term differently, and the differences are extreme.  

Some people define “winning financially” as: 

  • coming away from the divorce action either 1) with as much money and and as many assets as one can get; and 2) with as few financial obligations (i.e., to one’s ex-spouse and children and/or to marital creditors) as possible; and  
  • achieving that goal by taking an ends justify the means approach (i.e., no holds barred). 

Other people define “winning financially” as being treated fairly, i.e. 

  • getting an equal portion of the marital assets; 
  • receiving or paying alimony (and if one has minor children, child support) that is set at a reasonable, feasible, and fair amount; 
  • not being saddled with a disproportionate amount of marital debts and obligations. 

The easiest way (the risky, illegal, and immoral way, but still the easiest way) to win many issues in a divorce action, including but not limited to financial issues: skilled lying, deception, and concealment. 

The right way (the honest, risky, legal, and moral way): 

  • first and foremost, to act in conformity with the principle of Mark 8:36 (“What doth it profit a man, to gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”) 
  • understand that winning the right way takes effort and courage, and commit to exerting both to the bitter end 
  • know what law applies to the particular financial issues of your case 
  • know how the applicable law applies to the particular financial issues of your case 
  • acknowledge the relevant facts on both sides of the issue.  
    • acknowledge those of your arguments which the facts do not support.  
    • do not try to bamboozle the court into accepting losing arguments. That only weakens your credibility as to the arguments that favor you.  
  • demonstrate and articulate clearly the relevant facts that support your winning arguments.  
  • don’t let an inattentive, incompetent, or biased judge disregard or twist your admissible evidence, relevant facts, and winning arguments. Stand your ground. Give no quarter. Have the courage to defend your arguments when you are in the right. You will likely need to do so, at least some times in the course of the divorce proceedings, to win those arguments.  

Utah Family Law, LC | | 801-466-9277  

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Father has 50/50 custody. Now ex is trying to take it away. What to do?

I am a father who has exercised at least 50/50 custody with my ex. Now she’s trying to take me to court for full custody and me getting every other weekend visits. How can I avoid losing 50/50 custody?

First, thank your lucky stars you are a father who currently has 50/50 custody of his children. Far, far too many fit and loving fathers who could easily exercise joint equal physical custody of their children and whose children would do nothing but benefit from the exercise of joint equal custody are needlessly and unjustifiably denied a joint equal child custody award by courts who simply cannot bring themselves to believe, much less conceive of, the idea that children being reared by both parents equally is better than relegating one parent to second class visitor status in his child’s life.

Second, the fact that you have been exercising at least 50–50 custody of your children for the past few years helps to make it much harder for your ex to build a case against you for modifying the child custody award in a manner that deprives both father and children of a 50–50 custody schedule. Again, be grateful this is the case, because if you were trying to win 50–50 custody of your children on the first go around during your divorce or other child custody legal action, the odds are grossly stacked against fit and loving fathers.

Third, if you are afraid that your judge is going to discriminate against you on the basis of sex, you need to understand this principle: “if it isn’t close, there cheating won’t matter.” Otherwise stated, you need to ensure that you win six ways from Sunday. you have to bring overwhelming amounts of evidence and proof into court, so that you leave the judge no option but to rule in your favor. Easier said than done, certainly, but now is not the time to become complacent or substitute hope for effort. Spare no expense to preserve your joint equal physical custody award. A necessary component of a winning case is that you are living a life beyond reproach. Get your house in order. If there is anything remotely amiss in your life, correct course immediately, clearly, and permanently.

Fourth, make sure you understand and that your attorney understands what statutory and case law factors and criteria govern the original child custody award and a petition to modify the original child custody award. It may be that your ex does not have sufficient grounds for a petition to modify child custody to survive a motion to dismiss.

Fifth and finally, do not take on a petition to modify child custody alone, without a vigilant and skilled attorneys assistance. There is an undeniable culture of bias and discrimination and prejudice against fathers when it comes to courts making child custody awards. This doesn’t mean that every judge in every court indulges in sexual discrimination against father, but it’s virtually impossible to tell the difference between an impartial judge and a biased one, and so you need an attorney who will not suffer fools gladly, who will defend the joint equal custody award.

Utah Family Law, LC | | 801-466-9277

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If I can’t find an attorney, can it honestly be said I got a fair trial?

If I can’t find an attorney, can it honestly be said I got a fair trial?

If a person seeks legal representation in a court, and every attorney they tries to hire refuses to represent them, can he receive a “fair trial”?

That depends upon how you define a “fair trial”. Some people mistakenly believe that in the United States every litigant is guaranteed representation by an attorney in any lawsuit. This is not true. Defendants in criminal cases that involve the risk of substantial jail time are entitled to appointment of counsel, free of charge to the defendant, if the defendant so desires.

In some jurisdictions, a parent is entitled to appointed counsel if the state petitions to terminate that parents parental rights.

There is no right to appointed counsel in civil cases. so there is no right to appointed counsel in divorce actions or personal injury actions or other cases that do not involve serious, jailable criminal charges. So, if you were to claim you could not find any lawyer to represent me and to help me in my civil suit, you could not claim that your rights were somehow violated. It could thus be said that you received a fair trial, even if you were unable to find a lawyer to represent you at trial.

But if the case was a complex one, and one where a knowledge of the laws and/or regulations, as well as the procedural rules of court, makes the difference between winning or losing, having no attorney to represent you, that isn’t a fair fight. unfair, but not illegal. You have no legal recourse in those circumstances.

I have met people who have claimed that they cannot find an attorney to represent them in a particular civil action. More often than not, the reasons why are fairly clear: the person seeking representation can’t afford to pay the attorney and/or the person does not have a winning legal argument (either because that person is clearly in the wrong or because that person doesn’t have enough evidence to win or to win in the manner that person desires).

Utah Family Law, LC | | 801-466-9277

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