parents Archives

Who do you pick between a present father and an absentee mother?

Who do you pick, your father who has been there your whole life or your mother who was never there until now and wants custody of you? Assuming that 1) custody of you must be awarded to one parent or…

What are some ways to make the divorce rate drop?

November 25, 2022

Divorce Utah

Divorce, Divorce Causes, Divorce Prevention/Marriage Preservation, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Men's Divorce Issues, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Women's Divorce Issues

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First, some marriages need to end in divorce. That is why divorce exists. But divorce is not always the answer when one or both spouses is/are miserable. Far too many divorces are not only unnecessary, but take things from bad…

Can being a noncustodial parent improve the child-parent relationship?

Can being a noncustodial parent improve the child’s relationship with the noncustodial parent? Recently, a reader on Quora, where I comment regularly, commented on a post of mine with this: Anecdotally: When my parents separated I felt I saw my…

Should I get sole custody of my children if the dad does not want custody?

Should I get sole custody of my children if their dad does not want to be involved with them? Or try to talk it out before I go through with it? Your children deserve a loving, salutary relationship with both…

What are the primary concerns in determining parenting issues? Why?

What are the primary concerns of the courts in determining parenting issues? Why? In Utah (and in no particular order), the court must consider the factors articulated in these sections of the Utah Code when making a legal and physical…

If each parent is fully capable, will the court still give full custody to mom?

If both parents are wonderful, will the court still lean towards full custody to the mother? [Note: I am a divorce lawyer of 25 years. I am not bitter about “what happened to me in my divorce” as I am not divorced.…

Why do people get married only to divorce a few years later?

Why do people get married only to divorce a few years later? Doesn’t really sound like love to me. With the exception of those divorces that take place shortly after a marriage due to abuse, mental illness, fraud, and those…

Is it wrong for a parent to go to their adult child for emotional support?

May 19, 2022

Divorce Utah

Divorce, Divorce Law, Emotional abuse, Family Law, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Men's Divorce Issues, Mental Illness, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Women's Divorce Issues

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Is it wrong for a parent to go to their adult child for emotional support concerning the parent’s marriage? I am a divorce and family lawyer and a parent, but I am not a mental health professional. That doesn’t mean…

If both parents are wonderful, will the court still favor the mother?

If both parents are wonderful, will the court still lean towards full custody to the mother? [Note: I am a divorce lawyer of 25 years. I am not bitter about “what happened to me in my divorce” as I am…

I’m 14 and my mom is making me live with my dad. How do I stop this?

I’m 14 and my mom is making me live with my dad and is giving him custody. What can I do to prevent this from happening? I’m a divorce and family lawyer, and I see this question arise frequently. If…

Why do kids talk and text online so freely with strangers?

Why do kids talk and text online so freely with strangers? Don’t they understand how potentially dangerous that is? Why? Because kids that age aren’t very smart or wise. Don’t you remember how stupid and foolish you were as a…

How can I enforce my power when I have final say in joint custody?

My sons father and I have joint custody but I have final say over his well being health and education. How can I enforce my power? If you are asking: “How do I enforce in good faith my final say authority over our son’s well-being, health,…

Do you agree or disagree? Divorce creates chaos in the family.

January 7, 2022

Divorce Utah

Divorce, Divorce Law, Family Law

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Divorce generally creates far more chaos in individual families than it alleviates, but sometimes a divorce is the best thing to happen to a family. But that’s like saying sometimes its good to get arrested—rarely is it a good thing. Utah Family…

Why does paternity leave benefit everyone?

December 20, 2021

Divorce Utah

Co-parenting, Family Law, Parent Time, Parental Rights, Parenting Plan, Paternity

co-parenting, Father's rights, maternity leave, men, newborn child, parents, paternity leave, women

I’m not sure it does (and this comes from the father of four children himself). A little paternity leave would do no harm in most cases, but I’m not sure it confers any substantial or significant personal or societal benefits. …

Christmas/Winter Break for Parents Under the Utah Code

Christmas/Winter Break for Parents Under Utah Code § 30-3-35 or (§ 30-3-35.5 for a child 18 months and older) If your Christmas/Winter break starts December 17, 2021 and ends January 2, 2022 (i.e., school starts back up on Monday, January…

How to Explain to Your Kids You Are Getting Divorced (Guest Post)

June 24, 2021

Divorce Utah

Co-parenting, Coping With Divorce, Divorce, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Men's Divorce Issues, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Women's Divorce Issues

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Author Bio: Cristin Howard runs Smart Parent Advice, a site that provides parenting advice for moms and dads. Cristin writes about all of the different ups and downs of parenting, provides solutions to common challenges, and reviews products that parents need to…

After a divorce, should my kids be with me or with the mom?

June 1, 2021

Divorce Utah

Abuse, Addiction, Adoption, Best Interest of the Child, Business Interests, Child Abuse, Child Custody, Child Custody Modification, Child Neglect, Children in Divorce, Coping With Divorce, Court Orders, Court Rules, Custody, Custody Evaluation, Dirty Tricks, Divorce, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Mistakes, Divorce Preparedness, Divorce Procedure, Domestic Violence, Emotional abuse, Equity, Evidence, Family Law, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Joint Legal Custody, Joint Physical Custody, Judges, Justice and Equity, Legal Custody, Legal System, Men's Divorce Issues, Modification of Child Custody, Modification of Decree of Divorce, Modification of Parent-time, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Motion Practice, Noncustodial parents, Parent Time, Physical Custody, Sole Custody, Unwed Parents, Utah Code, Utah Law, Women's Divorce Issues

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First, you need to understand that you’re asking the wrong question. Child custody is not a zero-sum game; otherwise stated, when parents divorce, or when unmarried parents separate, where you get the idea that the children must be in the…

How do I console a father who has lost custody of his child?

April 27, 2021

Divorce Utah

Child Custody, Child Custody Modification, Custody, Custody Evaluation, Divorce Court, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Lawyers, Divorce Mistakes, Divorce Preparedness, Family Law, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Legal Custody, Legal System, Men's Divorce Issues, Parent Time, Parental Alienation, Parental Fitness, Parental Rights, Parenting Plan, Personality Disorders, Petition to Modify Decree of Divorce, Physical Custody, Utah Law, Women's Divorce Issues

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How do I console a father who has lost custody of his child? “He’s [the father who lost custody] permanently damaged.” That’s what someone else wrote in response to your question. It’s true. Time lost between a parent and child…

Good news, for parents deserving of joint equal physical custody

April 13, 2021

Divorce Utah

Best Interest of the Child, Child Custody, Child Custody Modification, Children in Divorce, Coping With Divorce, Custody, Custody Evaluation, Dirty Tricks, Divorce Court, Divorce Fears, Divorce Law, Divorce Mistakes, Divorce Preparedness, Family Law, Fathers' Divorce Issues, Joint Legal Custody, Joint Physical Custody, Legal Custody, Legal System, Men's Divorce Issues, Mothers' Divorce Issues, Noncustodial parents, Parent Time, Parental Fitness, Parental Rights, Parenting Plan, Physical Custody, Separation, Sole Custody, Termination of Parental Rights, Unwed Parents, Utah Law, Visitation, Women's Divorce Issues

2021, 2021 legislative session, basis, change of an existing custody award, children, criteria, deserving, effect, fighting, fit, good news, joint equal physical custody, May 5, new Utah Code section. § 30-3-35.2, parents, unfair, uphill battle, Utah Legislature

Good news, apparently, for parents deserving of joint equal physical custody of their children but who have, up until now, been fighting an unfair, unnecessarily uphill battle. The Utah Legislature passed, during the 2021 legislative session, a new Utah Code section.…

How exactly does shared custody work? Does the child end up being like that kid from Jacqueline Wilson’s “The Suitcase Kid”?

How exactly does shared custody work? Does the child end up being like that kid from Jacqueline Wilson’s “The Suitcase Kid”? The child certainly can be like the child (Andrea) from Jacqueline Wilson’s “The Suitcase Kid,” if under a shared parenting arrangement…

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