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Tag: primary custody

Obstacles Fathers Face in Trying to Get Joint Custody of Their Children

I have been asked by a reader to answer two questions.

The first: whether I believe courts generally apply a double standard in the treatment of mothers and fathers when courts make their child custody and parent-time (visitation) orders. The answer is “yes”. Not just “yes,” but “unquestionably, yes.”

The second: What do fathers need to do to meet and overcome that double standard? This is not a polar or closed question, so it requires a prescriptive response.

Before I answer the second question in detail, we need to understand—really and fully understand—why courts generally apply a double standard in the treatment of mothers and fathers when courts make their child custody and parent-time orders. Several volumes could easily be dedicated to the reasons why, so understand what I provide here is not merely concise but rather terse and not exhaustive (though no less true). In no particular order, here are the reasons I’ve encountered:

  • Few will admit it, but most people—both men and women—harbor the belief that women are better parents than men generally.[1]Many judges (both men and women) literally find it impossible to conceive that a father can be as effective a parent as a mother. Consequently, many courts substitute scrutiny and analysis of each particular parent in each particular case for playing the odds by awarding sole primary custody of the children to the mothers.
  • For jurisdictions that base child custody and parent time decisions upon which parent is the “primary caregiver,” courts inexcusably apply a needlessly biased definition of “primary caregiver.” For example, in Utah, “primary caregiver” has been defined as:

We believe that the choice in competing child custody claims should instead be based on function-related factors. Prominent among these, though not exclusive, is the identity of the primary caretaker during the marriage. Other factors should include the identity of the parent with greater flexibility to provide personal care for the child and the identity of the parent with whom the child has spent most of his or her time pending custody determination if that period has been lengthy. Another important factor should be the stability of the environment provided by each parent.

(Pusey v. Pusey, 728 P.2d 117 (August 18, 1986 Supreme Court of Utah))

The Pusey standard is over 37 years old as of the date this post is written, but is still followed in Utah. The standard is outmoded and do for a change. I believe that change is coming soon and that when that day comes, sexual discrimination against father in the child custody and parent time awards will suffer a fatal or near-fatal blow, but that day is not here yet. Even so, the seeds of Pusey’s destruction are found in the decision itself:

“[T]he provisions of article IV, section 1 of the Utah Constitution and of the fourteenth amendment of the United States Constitution would preclude us from relying on gender as a determining factor.”

The primary caregiver standard is (as many of you have already surmised), in many respects, just another disguise for bias in favor of mothers and against fathers.

I would like to say that I do not understand why courts in Utah continue to overlook the obvious fact that most of these so-called primary caregiver parents’ status depends upon the other parent being the sole or primary breadwinner. Otherwise stated, the reason mom can stay home with the kids is because dad is the one working to put that roof over their heads and providing all of the other necessities of life without the mother having to work outside the home herself. And so the courts have these kinds of fathers on the heads, ostensibly thank them for their sacrifices and for being upstanding, responsible men, then turn around and hand over sole or primary custody of the children to the mother nonetheless.

o   The problem with this thinking is that divorce fundamentally changes family dynamics. The primary caregiver analysis often fails to acknowledge that the physical primary caregiver status will rarely remain static post-divorce.

She (or he, in rare instances) who was the primary caregiver when the family all resided under the same roof will rarely remain able to be a stay-at-home parent post-divorce. That stay-at-home parent may find herself having to work outside the home to provide financially both for herself and for the children.

Likewise, fathers who used to come home to their children every day but who now realize they will be lucky if they get to see their kids every other day, will often make sacrifices so that they can spend as much time caring for their kids as possible when they are not at work. Courts, however, largely act as though this fact of life isn’t real. Or they may ostensibly acknowledge the fact in their custody and parent time decisions, custody and parent time awards themselves– mom still ends up with sole or primary custody, and dad ends up with every other weekend, alternating holidays, and a few weeks in the summer.

In Utah, the law is:

“Determining which factors the court must address in a given case, and to what degree, presents a tricky task,” and that “courts are not required to render a global accounting of all evidence presented or to discuss all aspects of a case that might support a contrary ruling.” See Twitchell, 2022 UT App 49, ¶ 21, 509 P.3d 806

But “where significant evidence concerning a particular factor is presented to the district court,” especially where that factor is a critically important one, “findings that omit all discussion of that evidence” and of that factor “must be deemed inadequate.” Id.

(Twitchell v. Twitchell, 2022 UT App 49, ¶ 21, 509 P.3d 806)

But it doesn’t take a genius to find that courts can, if they so desire, overlook pretty much whatever evidence they want (to get to the ruling they want) by simply deeming/dismissing/discounting such evidence as “insignificant”.

So what can (or even must) fathers do to ensure that they (and their children’s relationships with them) are simply treated fairly and impartially in the child custody and parent-time awards? An exhaustive list of pointers could run into the hundreds, but here are the most important, in my estimation (again, in no particular order):

  1. Approach your case like a black man would back in the 1960s who was a defendant in a criminal case: to win, he had to prove his innocence, and he had do it with 10 times more evidence than a white defendant needed. Fathers need to prove their parental fitness. Rarely will a court presume fitness of a father (they presume a mother’s fitness all the time). Generally, fathers must have far more and far better evidence of their fitness compared to what the courts require of mothers. Otherwise stated, you need so much evidence, and so much high-quality evidence, that even the most biased/cynical judge cannot deny you without looking inept or corrupt.
  2. Prove that you satisfy every custody factor the court must consider. In Utah, those factors are found here:

Utah Code § 30-3-10.  Custody of a child—Custody factors.

Utah Code § 30-3-10.2.  Joint custody order—Factors for court determination—Public assistance.

30-3-32.  Parent-time—Definitions—Considerations for parent-time — Relocation.

Utah Code § 30-3-34.  Parent-time — Best interests — Rebuttable presumption.

Utah Code § 30-3-35.1.  Optional schedule for parent-time for a child five to 18 years old.

30-3-35.2.  Equal parent-time schedule.

  1. Document everything you possibly can to prove you are a fit parent who can and should exercise at least equal custody of your children (do not seek sole custody or primary custody out of spite—that is wrong).
  2. Do everything you reasonably, possibly can to show you are a fit parent in every way.
  3. If you and your wife are separated, make sure you live as close to your wife as you can, so that the children are in the same neighborhood near their same friends and familiar favorite places, same school district where the children attend school, and can attend the same church they have been historically attending, so that the court doesn’t say, “Dad, you live too far away to make awarding you equal custody good for the children.” Do you see why?
  4. If you live too far away from your kids, they will end up presenting spending any time with you, resent the travel back and forth between their parents’ homes, they won’t have any friends in your neighborhood, they will be too far away from school and extracurricular and church activities, and you risk them telling you that spending time with you is more trouble than it’s worth.
  5. Get your hands on all the latest rigorous research showing that children, whether boys or girls, fare better in an equal custody arrangement. You may even need to retain the services of an expert witness to testify to these things. If you simply dump scholarly articles on the court, they will likely not be admissible without an expert witness to verify that they are legitimate and valid.
  6.       Live a life beyond reproach, and document it in painstaking detail.
  7. You want to do everything to prove this beyond any reasonable doubt: “Your Honor, if what I have set up by way of where I live and what my work schedule is and how much time I can spend providing personal care and attention for the children doesn’t qualify me in every meaningful way to exercise equal physical custody of our children, then there is no other realistic situation that can.”
  8. Ensure that the court makes findings that you meet every factor (ensure that the court makes findings on every factor and points to the evidence supporting each and every finding).
  9. Don’t merely prove you are a good parent. To the extent you can, also DISPROVE all the claims that you are not a good parent.
  10. Be careful about admitting your wife is a good and fit parent if she’s claiming you are a bad and unfit parent.
  11. No, I’m not advising you to lie about your wife’s parental fitness, I’m warning you that I’ve seen courts make findings like this far too often: “Dad admits that Mom is a good parent, but Mom claims Dad is a bad parent, and so Mom wins the parental fitness argument.” It’s disgusting, but it happens.
  12. Don’t believe that “falling on your sword for your kids” will benefit you, or the kids for that matter. When you do that, you run the unnecessary risk of the court pulling a “no good deed goes unpunished” move like, “Dad said he’s willing to agree to less than equal custody to settle the case and put an end to the fighting; so be it.” That may have worked with Solomon, but it rarely works in court.
  13. Show that depriving a child of any care and love and companionship and tutelage that a parent is able and willing to give that child is inherently contrary to the best interest of the child. Show that “the best parent” is BOTH parents. Show that children have a right to loved and reared by both of their parents as much as possible.
  14. Blow the “primary caregiver” argument as meaning “woman” or even “the stay-at-home parent” to smithereens. It’s a pernicious lie. Read my other blog post for more on this and other bogus arguments against fathers and joint legal and physical custody of children: All Men Are Created Equal: A Proof for the Presumption of Joint Physical Custody – Divorce Utah

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277


[1] I am nothing, if not frank. It is probably true that if you took a random sampling of parents and analyzed which of the two, among the mother and the father, is the more competent and attentive parent, a higher percentage of those parents would be mothers instead of fathers. But that doesn’t mean that every mother is presumptively a better parent than every father in a child custody dispute. It’s when courts indulge in such a presumption that they indulge in sexual discrimination, indulge in analytical laziness, and thus can (and often do) commit error.

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I have custody of my child. He’s refusing to come home. What now?

I have custody of my child. He left to go to his mom’s last Friday for the weekend. He is refusing to come home because he wants to live there. What happens now?

I will answer this question in the context of my experience as a lawyer in the jurisdiction where I practice divorce and family law, which is Utah.

And that answer is: realistically speaking, probably nothing.

As a divorce and family law attorney, I have been on both sides of this issue, meaning I’ve represented the parent with custody of the child who won’t come back, and I’ve also represented the noncustodial parent to whose house the child has “fled” and won’t leave.

This is a weird area of Utah law because you’ll hear the legislature and the courts tell you that children don’t get to choose where they live, and then when children do that very thing (i.e., refuse to live where the court orders them to live), the courts find themselves essentially powerless to change anything. At least that’s my experience over the 24 years I’ve been in practice.

Briefly, if the children are old enough that they cannot be physically controlled by a parent and forced into a car from the noncustodial parents house back to the custodial parent’s house, then the courts are usually not going to intervene. This means that a court will, in fairness and realistically, tell the parents that pragmatically there’s really nothing that they ought to do to enforce the child custody order if the child himself or herself is old enough to put up a fight and/or call the police and/or DCFS and report you for child abuse if you try to force them into the car to go back to the custodial parent’s house. Besides, the child who is old enough to put up a fight is also likely old enough to run away from the noncustodial parents home if anyone tries to force him or her to reside with a parent with whom the child doesn’t want to live.

And so, you get in a situation where the child is disobeying the court’s custody order, but most courts either don’t have the cats to hold the child in contempt of court or don’t feel it is appropriate to sanction a child who won’t comply with the court’s child custody orders. Yet these same courts will also often refuse to modify the child custody award because they don’t want to acknowledge that children, of all people, have the de facto power to defy court orders with impunity.

Next, you need to be aware of the possibility that your custodial parent ex will try to blame you for your child refusing to return to the custodial parent’s home, regardless of whether that is true. Many times, a perfectly innocent noncustodial parent will tell his or her acts and the court, “Look, I’ve told the child what the court order is and that both our and I are expected to comply. But the child refuses to comply anyway. Now what you want me to do? Kick the child out and lock the door behind him?” Some courts sympathize with that predicament, others don’t buy it. Which means it is entirely possible that you would be held in contempt of court for doing absolutely nothing wrong, if the court believes you enticed or coheirs the child to say he or she wants to stay with you. So you need to keep that in mind.

So if you are a noncustodial parent of a child who refuses to reside with the court ordered custodial parent, then you must ask yourself a few questions:

First, if the child refusing to live with the custodial parent because the child is a spoiled brat who has no legitimate reason for refusing to live with the custodial parent? If the answer is yes, then you as the noncustodial parent have both a legal and moral obligation to talk the child into going back to the custodial parent’s home, or if persuasion doesn’t work, imposing limitations and restrictions and punishments upon the child so that the child won’t get the impression that he or she is in charge.

Second, if the child is refusing to reside with the custodial parent because the custodial parent is truly neglectful and/or abusive, and if you have independently verifiable proof of this, you have the option of petitioning the court to modify the child custody award, changing the custodial parent from your ex to you. While that petition is pending, your child may refuse to return to the custodial parent’s home, and for reasons at least you and the child know to be valid. Whether the court allows your child to stay with you depends upon how your court views the situation and what is best for the child.

If you find yourself in this kind of situation, whether you are the custodial parent or the noncustodial parent, this is one of those situations where you need to seek good legal advice immediately, to help ensure that neither you nor the child is victimized.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/I-have-custody-of-my-child-He-left-to-go-to-his-moms-last-Friday-for-the-weekend-He-is-refusing-to-come-home-because-he-wants-to-live-there-What-happens-now/answer/Eric-Johnson-311?prompt_topic_bio=1

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Why is it difficult for a father to get child custody?

Why is it difficult for a father to get child custody?

Because there is a pernicious and false belief in far too many of the courts (not, notably, in society at large) that generally:

  1. mothers are better parents than fathers;

and thus

  1. children need the care of their mothers more than the care of their fathers;

and thus

  1. children should spend most of their time in the care of their mothers but have “a relationship” with their fathers by seeing them every other weekend, once a week, and on alternating holidays.

All other “reasons” for presuming that sole or primary custody of a child or children should be awarded to the mother derive from these three false premises, which premises/presumptions are extraordinarily difficult for a father to overcome, even if all he seeks is an award of joint equal child custody.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Thomas v. Thomas – 2021 UT App – contempt, modification of custody

Thomas v. Thomas – 2021 UT App

2021 UT App 8
THE UTAH COURT OF APPEALS
JEREMY THOMAS, Appellant,
v.
JODY TASKER THOMAS, Appellee.
Opinion
No. 20190242-CA
Filed January 22,2021
Fourth District Court, Nephi Department
The Honorable Anthony L. Howell
No. 114600077
Rosemond G. Blakelock and Megan P. Blakelock, Attorneys for Appellant
Todd F. Anderson, Attorney for Appellee
JUDGE MICHELE M. CHRISTIANSEN FORSTER authored this Opinion, in which JUDGES JILL M. POHLMAN and DIANA HAGEN concurred.
CHRISTIANSEN FORSTER, Judge:

¶1        Jeremy Thomas appeals the district court’s order following a January 10, 2019 hearing, in which it held him in contempt and imposed various sanctions. We affirm but remand for a calculation of fees and costs on appeal.

BACKGROUND

¶2        Jeremy and Jody Tasker Thomas were divorced in 2013. The parties have two children: Son and Daughter. The divorce decree provided that during the school year, Jeremy would have primary custody of Son and Jody would have primary custody of Daughter. The parties were to share joint physical custody of the children during the summer. Since their divorce, the parties have had numerous conflicts regarding the children, which ultimately led the parties to stipulate to appointment of a special master to help them resolve their parenting disputes. With respect to establishing an order governing the special master’s authority (Order Appointing Special Master), the parties stipulated to use the “standard Special Master Order as used by Jay Jensen or Sandra Dredge.”[1]

¶3        The special master issued numerous orders in the years following his appointment. For example, he issued orders governing the children’s communication and cell phone use during parent-time and requiring both the parents and children to participate in therapy. He also issued orders outlining procedures for exchanges for parent-time that were intended to minimize conflict and prevent the children from defying the parent-time schedule.

¶4        Four years after the decree was entered, Jody filed a motion for order to show cause in which she alleged that Jeremy had violated various provisions of the parties’ divorce decree and the special master’s orders. These allegations revolved around one primary issue: that Jody believed Jeremy was alienating the children from her by speaking “derogatorily or disparagingly” about Jody, “[p]utting the children in the middle,” “discussing adult issues with the children,” and denying her parent-time.

¶5        The district court held a hearing on Jody’s motion for order to show cause, as well as various other pending motions, in November 2017. With respect to Jody’s motion, the court found that Jeremy was “using the teenager[s’] busy schedules as a way to triangulate animosity and contempt of the children against their mother,” that his actions made Jody out to be the “bad guy,” and that he had “shown a continued pattern towards alienating the love and affection of the children towards” Jody. The court also found that Jeremy had not complied with an order of the special master that he “engage in individual therapy.”

¶6        Based on these findings, the court concluded that Jeremy had violated provisions of the divorce decree as well as “multiple orders of the Special Master,” that Jeremy knew of the orders, that he had the ability to comply, and that he willfully refused to do so. As a result, the court found him in contempt and ordered sanctions of thirty days incarceration in county jail, suspension of any licenses issued by the state, and a $1,000 fine (the First Contempt Order). However, the court stayed the sanctions and gave Jeremy an opportunity to purge the contempt by doing four things: (1) “fully comply[ing] with the Special Master order(s) regarding counseling”; (2) “mak[ing] progress regarding his alienation of the children”; (3) “provid[ing] necessary releases for [his therapist] to provide regular reports to the Special Master and [Jody] regarding [Jeremy’s] progress”; and (4) paying Jody’s attorney fees and costs relating to several motions. The court then set the matter for further review. At the subsequent hearing, the court did not consider whether Jeremy had purged his contempt, but it ordered Jeremy:

  1. To strictly comply with the Custody order.
  2. To make no alterations or changes to the custody order without the prior agreement of [Jody].
  3. To compel the children to comply with the custody order, and to do so without any further alienation of the children.
  4. To not schedule or allow to be scheduled any activity with the children in conflict with the custody order.
  5. To not allow [Son’s] sports and motocross to interfere with [Jody’s] visitation without [Jody’s] agreement to a trade.
  6. To compel [Son] to comply with the custody order.
  7. To not allow the children to refuse to comply with the custody order.

¶7        As the year progressed, tensions between the parties continued. Several contentious issues arose relating to exchanges of the children, in which Jeremy “fail[ed] to ensure the children attend parent-time.” Although Jeremy would take the children to the exchange location, the children would refuse to go with Jody, and Jeremy would then allow them to go home with him. Additionally, when conflicts arose between Son’s extracurricular activities and his parent-time with Jody, Jeremy left it to Son to coordinate scheduling changes and make-up time with Jody, putting the full responsibility of disappointing Son on Jody if changes to the schedule could not be arranged.

¶8 Then, at some point in the summer of 2018, Daughter hatched a plan that would allow her to move in with Jeremy during the school year. She informed Jeremy that Jody had given her permission to register for school in Jeremy’s district. Without verifying this information with Jody, Jeremy went to the school and pre-registered Daughter to attend school where he lived. When it became apparent that Jody had not given permission for Daughter to change schools, Daughter “refused to go to school for a considerable time” in the hope that “if [she] didn’t go to school, they’d let [her] go to [her] dad’s.” Additionally, Daughter made attempts to harm Jody, which culminated in Daughter being placed in juvenile detention and referred to the Utah Juvenile Court system.

¶9        Jody filed another motion for order to show cause in December 2018, in which she alleged that Jeremy had failed to purge his contempt and that he should additionally be held in contempt for failing to obey a subpoena and for violating numerous orders of the court and special master. The district court held an evidentiary hearing on the motion on January 10, 2019, and again found Jeremy in contempt (the Second Contempt Order). In light of the voluminous evidence relating to Jeremy’s alienation of the children submitted to the court at that hearing and throughout the pendency of the case, the court made findings regarding anecdotal incidents that it believed were representative of the alienating behavior.

¶10 First, the court recited text messages from an incident in February 2018 in which Daughter refused to return to Jody’s home after parent-time with Jeremy and Jeremy supported her refusal. It then addressed an incident in July 2018 in which Jeremy “knew the children did not want to do” parent-time with Jody and “failed to do anything to encourage or ensure the children comply with [Jody’s] parent-time as required by the orders of the Court.” The court found that this conflict was “only one example of many where [Jeremy] failed to encourage and/or compel the children’s compliance with” Jody’s parent-time.

¶11      The court also made several findings regarding the school incident. The court found that either (1) Jeremy was lying to the court when he claimed Daughter told him Jody gave permission for her to “look at enrolling and attending school” in Jeremy’s district or (2) Daughter lied to Jeremy and Jeremy made no attempt to communicate with Jody to verify Daughter’s “unbelievable statement that she had [Jody’s] permission.” The court found that “as a result of [Jeremy’s] failure to act, [he] implanted the idea into [Daughter’s] mind that [he] was going to aid [her] in her plot to” live with Jeremy: “[T]he best-case scenario is that [Jeremy] was complicit with [Daughter’s] lies and plans. The worst-case scenario is that [Jeremy] helped [Daughter] orchestrate her plot and is lying to the Court.” The court found that Jeremy’s “willingness to allow [Daughter’s] defiance” was a “significant contributor” to her “pushing the envelope of her defiance” by “refusing to attend school for many weeks” and attempting to harm Jody.

¶12 Moreover, the court adopted as part of its order findings of fact submitted by the special master on December 18, 2018, and January 4, 2019. The special master found that although “there was an added measure of compliance” by Jeremy following the First Contempt Order, noncompliance escalated during the late summer and early fall of 2018 and Jeremy had “failed to demonstrate strict and consistent compliance with the custody order.” The special master’s findings went on to detail various incidents of parent-time conflicts and noncompliance by Jeremy, as well as how Jeremy’s failure to respond to the special master and comply with his orders had impeded the special master’s investigation of various incidents and allegations.

¶13 The special master also found that although Jeremy had attended ten sessions with his therapist following the First Contempt Order, he had not met with the therapist for the nine months prior to the January 2019 hearing. However, apart from observing that the therapist appeared not to have a full understanding of the situation, the court did not make additional findings regarding Father’s compliance with orders that he attend therapy.

¶14 The court determined that “the alienation of the children . . . is the most critical issue that the Court has taken into consideration.” It therefore found Jeremy “in continued contempt as [he] has failed to purge his contempt previously found, and also continued to violate the same orders,” including provisions of the divorce decree regarding alienation and putting the children in the middle, as well as “multiple orders of the Special Master.”

¶15      As a result of its contempt findings, the court ordered the following sanctions: (1) that Jeremy pay all Jody’s attorney fees and costs “incurred in relation to this case and her difficulty in co-parenting since February 3, 2018”; (2) that Jeremy pay all the special master “fees and costs incurred since November 14, 2017”; (3) that Jeremy pay for “all uninsured costs of counseling for the parties’ minor children” as well as for individual treatment for Jody and Jeremy with the family counselor; (4) that all parent-time and communication between Jeremy and Daughter be supervised until the special master makes findings that the alienation issues have been sufficiently addressed; (5) that custody of Son be changed from Jeremy to Jody and all parent-time and communication between Jeremy and Son be supervised; and (6) that the stay on two days of the thirty-day jail sentence imposed in the previous contempt order be lifted and that Jeremy serve those two days in the Juab County Jail. However, the court stayed the sanction changing custody and instituting supervised parent-time of Son conditioned on Son strictly complying with court-ordered parent-time and Jeremy showing “a good faith effort to ensure that the minor children are repairing their relationships with [Jody].”

¶16 Custody of Son never actually changed, and the parties reached a stipulation in July 2019 in which they agreed that “[c]ustody of [Son] shall remain [with Jeremy] based on the recommendation of the Special Master, who believes that [Jeremy] has (as of the date of the signing of this Stipulation) been in sufficient compliance with” the conditions imposed by the court in the Second Contempt Order. Son turned eighteen in August 2020.

¶17 Jeremy now challenges the Second Contempt Order on appeal.

ISSUES AND STANDARDS OF REVIEW

¶18      First, Jeremy claims that the district court violated rule 53 of the Utah Rules of Civil Procedure by treating the special master’s orders as orders of the court, the violation of which could justify a contempt finding. “The proper interpretation of a rule of procedure is a question of law, and we review the trial court’s decision for correctness.” American Interstate Mortgage Corp. v. Edwards, 2002 UT App 16, ¶ 10, 41 P.3d 1142 (quotation simplified).

¶19      Second, Jeremy raises several issues relating to the district court’s contempt findings and sanctions: (1) that the court exceeded its discretion in concluding that he had not purged his prior contempt found in the First Contempt Order, (2) that the court exceeded its discretion in finding him in further contempt of the court’s orders, (3) that the court lacked authority to change the custody of Son as a sanction for his contempt when no petition to modify was pending in the case, and (4) that other sanctions were inappropriate. “An order relating to contempt of court is a matter that rests within the sound discretion of the trial court.” Dansie v. Dansie, 1999 UT App 92, ¶ 6, 977 P.2d 539. Moreover, “we overturn a sanction only in cases evidencing a clear abuse of discretion.” Chaparro v. Torero, 2018 UT App 181, ¶ 20, 436 P.3d 339 (quotation simplified). “An abuse of discretion may be demonstrated by showing that the district court relied on an erroneous conclusion of law or that there was no evidentiary basis for the trial court’s ruling.” Id. (quotation simplified).

ANALYSIS

  1. Special Master Orders

¶20 Rule 53 of the Utah Rules of Civil Procedure states that “[a]ny or all of the issues in an action may be referred by the court to a master upon the written consent of the parties.” Utah R. Civ. P. 53(a). Regarding the powers of a special master, the rule states that “[t]he order of reference to the master may specify or limit [the master’s] powers.” Id. R. 53(c).

¶21      A special master was appointed in this case based on the parties’ stipulation, in which they agreed to give the master authority in accordance with “[t]he standard Special Master Order as used by Jay Jensen or Sandra Dredge.” The Order Appointing Special Master grants the special master authority to issue “directives” regarding numerous specified issues such as scheduling, communication, and therapy and specifies that these directives “are effective as orders when made and . . . continue in effect unless modified or set aside by a court of competent jurisdiction.” The Order Appointing Special Master also grants the special master the authority to issue “recommendations” on other specified issues, such as significant changes to parent-time or conflicts on fundamental parenting decisions relating to healthcare, religion, and education. It states that recommendations—unlike directives—do not become court orders unless and until the district court adopts them.

¶22 Jeremy first asserts that the district court erred in determining that “all the Special Master ‘Orders’ issued” as of the January 10, 2019 hearing “are ‘directives’” under the Order Appointing Special Master, because the court did not “examin[e] the subject matter contained in each pleading the Special Master filed.” However, Jeremy provides no support for his assertion that the district court did not examine the subject matter of the individual special master orders. Further, he makes no attempt to point us to orders that should have been considered recommendations rather than directives. Thus, he has not adequately briefed his claim that the district court erred in classifying all the prior special master orders as directives. See State v. Thomas, 961 P.2d 299, 304 (Utah 1998) (“It is well established that a reviewing court will not address arguments that are not adequately briefed.”).

¶23 Jeremy further asserts that even if the special master orders were directives, they could not have become effective until the district court acknowledged them as such in its Second Contempt Order. But this position is contrary to the plain language of the Order Appointing Special Master, which states that directives “are effective as orders when made and . . . continue in effect unless modified or set aside by a court of competent jurisdiction.” The court’s acknowledgment that the special master orders were directives is not the event that made them effective. They were effective and binding at the time the special master issued them, in accordance with the Order Appointing Special Master.

¶24 To the extent that Jeremy challenges the special master’s authority to make binding directives under rule 53, such a challenge was previously foreclosed by this court in Wight v. Wight, 2011 UT App 424, 268 P.3d 861, in which we rejected a similar argument challenging a district court’s ability to grant a special master limited power under rule 53 to make binding decisions on specific issues. Id. ¶ 16. While rule 53 does not directly give the special master authority to make binding directives, it gives the court the ability to “specify or limit” the special master’s powers in the Order Appointing Special Master. See Utah R. Civ. P. 53(c). The parties in this case stipulated to the appointment of the special master and to the Order Appointing Special Master that would be used. The grant of limited decision-making power in an Order Appointing Special Master is permitted under the “considerable discretion” rule 53 grants district courts in using a special master. See Wight, 2011 UT App 424, ¶ 16. Thus, the court’s acknowledgment of the binding nature of the special master’s directives in this case is not contrary to rule 53. As in Wight, “nothing in the [Order Appointing Special Master] limited either party’s ability to challenge the decisions of the special master by filing objections with the trial court.” Id. But unless and until such an objection was made and ruled on, the special master’s directives were “effective as orders” under the Order Appointing Special Master.

¶25      And while Jeremy asserts that his due process rights were violated when the court treated the directives as orders of the court and held him in contempt for violating them, he has failed to explain why. “At its core, the due process guarantee is twofold—reasonable notice and an opportunity to be heard.” In re adoption of B.Y., 2015 UT 67, ¶ 16, 356 P.3d 1215. Jeremy does not assert that he lacked notice of the orders of the special master. Moreover, given that the orders were directives—a finding that Jeremy has failed to adequately challenge, see supra ¶ 22—and that the Order Appointing Special Master clearly informed Jeremy that directives are binding when issued, he should have known that he was required to comply with them. Further, the Order Appointing Special Master gave Jeremy an opportunity to present any grievances regarding the special master’s orders to the court by means of an objection. He does not assert that he was somehow precluded from objecting to the special master’s orders in the manner prescribed by the Order Appointing Special Master. Therefore, we find no merit in Jeremy’s claim that the district court violated his due process rights in holding him accountable for failing to comply with the special master’s orders.[2]

II. Contempt Finding and Sanctions

¶26 Next, Jeremy raises several challenges to the district court’s contempt findings and sanctions. We address each in turn.

A. Failure to Purge Contempt

¶27 Jeremy first asserts that the court exceeded its discretion in finding that he had not purged his prior contempt, claiming that its findings were not supported by the evidence. To purge his contempt, Jeremy was required to do the following four things: (1) “fully comply with the Special Master order(s) regarding counseling”; (2) “make progress regarding his alienation of the children”; (3) “provide necessary releases for [his therapist] to provide regular reports to the Special Master and [Jody] regarding [Jeremy’s] progress”; and (4) pay Jody specific attorney fees and costs.

¶28 Jeremy asserts that the district court did not make appropriate findings regarding whether he had purged his contempt. As to the first, third, and fourth requirements imposed by the court, we agree that the district court did not clearly address Jeremy’s compliance.[3] However, that fact does not undermine the court’s determination that Jeremy had not purged his contempt. To purge the contempt, Jeremy was required to comply with all four of the requirements. Thus, his failure on even one of the requirements would support a determination that he had not purged his contempt.

¶29 The court made extensive findings regarding Jeremy’s failure to comply with the second requirement—that he make progress on his alienation of the children. Indeed, the court observed that “alienation of the children . . . is the most critical issue that the Court has taken into consideration” in concluding that Jeremy had “failed to purge his contempt.” The court’s findings regarding alienation were extensive and included detailed recitals of the events relating to contentious exchanges in February and July 2018, as well as the events relating to Jeremy’s support of Daughter’s scheme to change schools. Further, the court adopted the special master’s findings, which recited additional instances of parent-time interference and found that Jeremy had “not made consistent progress with the issues of alienation” and, despite “greater compliance and progress” initially following the First Contempt Order, had “fallen into old patterns, continuing to impact the children’s relationship with” Jody.

¶30 Jeremy does not assert that the evidence could not support these findings but instead reargues the evidence, relying solely on the testimony of his own therapist that Jeremy’s progress on alienation issues had been “very good.” But the district court discredited this testimony as unreliable because it believed that, “whether intentionally or unintentionally,” Jeremy had given the therapist “a grossly distorted history of this case,” so the therapist did “not have an understanding of what is actually going on.”[4] Further, the court made extensive findings concerning events that demonstrated Jeremy had not made progress on alienation issues. The underlying evidence supports these findings, and in turn, the findings support the district court’s determination that Jeremy had failed to purge his contempt.

B. Additional Contempt

¶31 Jeremy also asserts that he should not have been held in further contempt, but his arguments in support of this assertion lack merit.

¶32      To find someone in contempt, a court must find “that the person cited for contempt knew what was required, had the ability to comply, and intentionally failed or refused to do so.” Von Hake v. Thomas, 759 P.2d 1162, 1172 (Utah 1988). Here, the court found all three of these elements. Jeremy does not directly challenge the court’s findings on these elements[5] but raises related issues that he claims precluded the court from finding him in contempt.

¶33      First, he takes issue with a statement the court made in its findings about a conflict between the parties over a trip to England that had occurred prior to the First Contempt Order. The court’s findings regarding alienation in the Second Contempt Order stated that it had “identified, with specificity, three circumstances that are not the only examples, but typify the behavior [Jeremy] has engaged in that encourages alienation between the minor children and [Jody].” The court then follows this introduction with the statement, “First, during the course of the evidentiary hearing, in the Court’s questioning of [Jeremy], the Court brought up the previous canceled trip to England and the findings the Court made regarding that event.” Jeremy asserts that it was inappropriate for the court to rely on incidents relating to the England trip to find him in further contempt because those events occurred before the First Contempt Order.

¶34 Admittedly, the inclusion of this statement here is somewhat confusing. Subparagraphs underneath this statement in the court’s order proceed to recite the details of the February 2018 parent-time incident and do not again refer to the England trip. In fact, the court does not mention or discuss the England trip beyond the above-quoted language. Moreover, the court goes on to discuss three distinct incidents, apart from the England trip, as examples of Jeremy’s alienating behavior—the February 2018 incident, the July 2018 incident, and the incident involving Daughter’s schooling.

¶35 Given the complete lack of any further discussion of the England trip and the fact that the court indicated its intent to discuss “three circumstances” that typified Jeremy’s behavior, we are inclined to believe that the statement about the England trip was misplaced and that it was the other three incidents, discussed in more detail, that formed the basis of the court’s contempt finding. The court made no findings or conclusions relating to the England trip but merely mentioned that it had questioned Jeremy about it. And the other three incidents, in addition to the other incidents identified in the special master’s findings, which the court adopted as part of the Second Contempt Order, provided ample support for the district court’s contempt finding. Thus, there is no indication in the Second Contempt Order that the court actually placed any weight on the England trip incident when finding Jeremy in further contempt.

¶36 Second, Jeremy asserts that the court’s findings improperly relied on certain affidavit evidence provided by Jody that he claims was not appropriately admitted. However, any error by the court in considering that evidence was invited when Jeremy indicated that he had no objection to the court considering affidavits “in lieu of direct testimony, so long as the party is then available for cross examination.” See Pratt v. Nelson, 2007 UT 41, ¶ 17, 164 P.3d 366 (“A party cannot take advantage of an error committed at trial when that party led the trial court into committing the error.” (quotation simplified)). Furthermore, at the evidentiary hearing, Jody reaffirmed the statements in her affidavit, and Jeremy took the opportunity to cross-examine her about them.

¶37 In short, we see no merit to any of Jeremy’s arguments challenging the basis for the court’s new findings of contempt. Indeed, the evidence of Jeremy’s alienating behavior was substantial, and the court’s findings were thorough. We do not hesitate to uphold the court’s additional contempt findings in the Second Contempt Order.

C. Change of Custody

¶38 Jeremy next argues that the district court exceeded its discretion by awarding a change of custody of Son as a sanction for his contempt, particularly where no petition to modify was pending. However, this particular sanction was stayed, and the stay was never lifted. Instead, the court entered a new order, pursuant to the parties’ stipulation, in July 2019. This order declared that “[c]ustody of [Son] shall remain [with Jeremy] based on the recommendation of the Special Master, who believes that [Jeremy] has (as of the date of the signing of this Stipulation) been in sufficient compliance with” the conditions imposed by the court in the Second Contempt Order. The order went on to indicate that the parties’ stipulation “resolves any and all issues related to . . . custody of [Son].” Moreover, Son turned eighteen in August 2020 and is therefore no longer subject to the jurisdiction of the court. See generally Utah Code Ann. § 15-2-1 (LexisNexis 2013) (“The period of minority extends . . . to the age of 18 years . . . .”); id. § 30-3-1(5)(d) (2019) (granting district courts jurisdiction over “the custody and maintenance of minor children” in a divorce).

¶39 Because the change-of-custody sanction was never implemented and Son is no longer subject to the jurisdiction of the court, we agree with Jody that this issue is moot. See State v. Steed, 2015 UT 76, ¶ 6, 357 P.3d 547 (“An argument is moot if the requested judicial relief cannot affect the rights of the litigants. In other words, an appeal is moot if the controversy is eliminated such that it renders the relief requested impossible or of no legal effect.” (quotation simplified)).

¶40      Jeremy nevertheless asks us to review this issue “because it is of wide concern, affects the public interest, is likely to recur, and yet evades review.” See Osguthorpe v. Osguthorpe, 872 P.2d 1057, 1058 (Utah Ct. App. 1994). But this does not appear to us to be an accurate statement. Indeed, our court has previously addressed this very issue. See Chaparro v. Torero, 2018 UT App 181, ¶ 40, 436 P.3d 339 (“A district court cannot avoid making [best interests] findings by modifying custody arrangements as a sanction.”); see also Blanco v. Blanco, 311 P.3d 1170, 1175 (Nev. 2013) (en banc) (“A court may not use a change of custody as a sword to punish parental misconduct, such as refusal to obey lawful court orders, because the child’s best interest is paramount in such custody decisions.” (quotation simplified)), quoted in Chaparro, 2018 UT App 181, ¶ 40. Thus, the issue is clearly not one that evades review, and it is one on which we have already provided guidance. Accordingly, we decline to consider this moot issue.

D. Other Sanctions

¶41 Finally, Jeremy asserts that “all sanctions, including attorneys fees, supervised parent-time, and the change of custody should be reversed.” However, we reject his arguments on this point because they are inadequately briefed. State v. Thomas, 961 P.2d 299, 304 (Utah 1998) (“It is well established that a reviewing court will not address arguments that are not adequately briefed.”).

¶42 First, he asserts that attorney fees for “things such as charges on December 17, 2018 regarding mediation discussions with a mediator and charges on July 11, 2018 regarding a separate case involving a Lis Pendens” were unrelated to the order to show cause and therefore should not have been included in the sanctions. This is the extent of his argument. He makes no attempt to explain specifically why these charges were unrelated to the show cause motion or even to identify all the charges he is contesting. Jeremy’s limited analysis is inadequate to challenge the propriety of the attorney fees sanction, and we therefore decline to address his argument.

¶43 Apart from Jeremy’s minimal discussion regarding the propriety of the attorney fees, he does not challenge the appropriateness of the sanctions. Instead, his argument alleges that the court “failed to make the required findings with respect to contempt.” See generally Marsh v. Marsh, 1999 UT App 14, ¶ 10, 973 P.2d 988 (explaining that a court cannot hold someone in contempt unless it finds “from clear and convincing proof that the contemnor knew what was required, had the ability to comply, and willfully and knowingly failed and refused to do so” (quotation simplified)). But this argument, too, is inadequate. Jeremy makes two points: (1) that he could not have “willfully refused to allow [Daughter] to attend school” because he did not have custody of her and (2) that Jody “failed to submit any evidence of [his] contempt.”

¶44 The first argument is irrelevant because the school issue was not that Jeremy did not allow Daughter to attend but that he, at best, “was complicit with [Daughter’s] lies and plans” and, at worst, “helped [Daughter] orchestrate her plot” not to attend school and that his actions exemplified “the behavior [he] has engaged in that encourages alienation between the minor children and” Jody. Moreover, other instances of alienation supported the court’s decision to hold Jeremy in contempt for violating provisions of the divorce decree pertaining to alienation, so even if we agreed with him that the school incident could not support the contempt finding, his failure to specifically challenge the other findings supporting the contempt would preclude us from reversing the court’s decision. Cf. Gilbert v. Utah State Bar, 2016 UT 32, ¶ 24, 379 P.3d 1247 (“[We] will not reverse a ruling of the district court that rests on independent alternative grounds where the appellant challenges only one of those grounds.”). As to his second argument, we have already addressed and rejected it. See supra ¶ 36. Thus, we reject Jeremy’s challenge to the court’s contempt sanctions.

III. Attorney Fees

¶45      Jody requests her attorney fees and costs on appeal on the ground that she was awarded fees below. “The general rule is that when a party who received attorney fees below prevails on appeal, the party is also entitled to fees reasonably incurred on appeal.” Robertson’s Marine, Inc. v. I4 Solutions, Inc., 2010 UT App 9, ¶ 8, 223 P.3d 1141 (quotation simplified). Although there are exceptions to this general rule, see, e.g., Liston v. Liston, 2011 UT App 433, ¶ 27 n.6, 269 P.3d 169, Jeremy has not argued that any exception applies here. Thus, because Jody has prevailed on appeal, we grant her request for fees and costs on appeal and remand for the district court to calculate the award.

CONCLUSION

¶46 Neither the Order Appointing Special Master nor the court’s interpretation and application of that order violated rule 53 of the Utah Rules of Civil Procedure. Further, Jeremy has not adequately alleged any error or abuse of discretion in the court’s determination that he had failed to purge his prior contempt and that he had engaged in additional contemptuous acts. Jeremy’s challenge to the change-of-custody sanction is moot, and his challenges to the other sanctions are inadequately briefed. Because Jody has prevailed on appeal and was awarded fees below, she is also entitled to fees on appeal. Accordingly, we affirm the Second Contempt Order but remand for the district court to calculate an award of fees and costs to Jody on appeal.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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[1] Although details about Jay Jensen and Sandra Dredge are not found in the record, we take judicial notice, purely for the purpose of providing background information, that the former is a therapist and the latter an attorney. Both have practices in Utah County and have served as special masters in several domestic cases there.

[2] Even if we were persuaded that the court somehow erred in holding Jeremy in contempt based on the orders of the special master, it is unclear how that would alter the outcome of this case. The court’s contempt finding was not based solely on violations of the special master’s orders but rested in large part on his violation of those provisions of the divorce decree prohibiting alienation.

[3] The adopted findings of the special master did suggest that Jeremy had not “fully compl[ied] with the Special Master order(s) regarding counseling,” as he had not met with therapist for the nine months prior to the January 2019 hearing. However, the district court did not analyze Jeremy’s compliance with this mandate.

[4] Jeremy does not challenge the court’s determination that his therapist’s testimony was not credible but instead blames the special master and the district court for any distortion of the facts because the special master selected and the court appointed the therapist to function solely as an individual therapist for Jeremy and not to meet with other members of the family or evaluate the family as a whole. He asserts that if the therapist had been required to consult with others, the therapist would have had a fuller picture of the situation and that the lack of such consultation precluded Jeremy from complying with the court’s mandate that he make progress on his alienation issues. But even accepting Jeremy’s premise, these facts suggest only that the therapist’s lack of information from other sources might have limited his utility as a witness to Jeremy’s progress, not that Jeremy was precluded from making progress on his alienation issues. It was Jeremy who continued to make poor decisions by interfering with parent-time, supporting Daughter’s scheme to change schools, and generally undermining Jody. And it was Jeremy who, in meeting with the therapist, left out crucial information that could have helped the therapist better understand and help him with the alienation issues. The fact that Jeremy failed to make progress in spite of therapy does not come down to whether the special master or court ordered the therapist to meet with other individuals in the family. Ultimately, it was Jeremy’s responsibility to comply with the court’s order that he make progress on his alienation issues, and he failed to do so.

[5] Jeremy does attempt to challenge the court’s findings regarding the school incident, but he does so in the context of challenging the sanctions rather than in the context of challenging the contempt finding. In any event, we reject those arguments as discussed infra ¶ 44.

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How many states favor mothers in child custody proceedings?

How many states favor giving the child to its mother in a custody hearing?

You’re asking a good question, but it’s not the question you think you’re asking.

The question is not whether a particular “state” favors awarding custody of children to mothers over fathers, but whether particular judges favor awarding custody of children to mothers over fathers.

First, we need to understand a few things about the way the law governing the award of child custody has evolved.

I am not aware of any state in the United States with a law that expressly discriminates against men for child custody purposes; if any such law existed, it would likely be challenged and easily struck down as sexually discriminatory and thus unconstitutional. There may still be a few states with laws on the books that surreptitiously favor mothers over fathers. By employing language and stating tests and elements that favor to women and mothers over men and fathers without overt references to men or women, such laws still manage to discriminate in favor of mothers over fathers without appearing to be indulging in blatant sexual discrimination. A good example of this in my jurisdiction (Utah) is favoring the “primary caregiver” of the child. Many judges simply presume that a child’s primary caregiver is its mother, particularly when the child is an infant or very young, even if there is insufficient evidence or even no evidence to support such a presumption.

And that’s a good segue into the next topic of this discussion. When it comes to child custody, laws are usually not your biggest impediment to a fair child custody award. While it is true that in the past there were child custody laws that were blatantly and grossly discriminatory against men and fathers, those laws are disappearing fast (thank goodness). Now the problem lies primarily not in the law but in those who administer the law: the judges.

Many of the current/outgoing generation of judges came from nuclear families (i.e., a family consisting of a married mother and father of their children) in which the mother seldom worked outside the home, if at all. In families like these, it was clear that the mother usually did, in the majority of divorce cases involving such families, the majority of the child care taking. Reasonable arguments could be made in these circumstances for why the mother would be awarded primary physical custody of the couple’s children. Many of these judges have so many cultural biases in favor of awarding custody of children to mothers that they are incapable of even conceiving of the idea of a father being awarded primary custody or even having both parents share physical custody of their children equally. Not all of the current generation of judges are this way, but many are.

But the new/incoming generation of judges are as likely to be children of divorce as to have come from a traditional nuclear family, and many of the current generation of judges also have children who have divorced. These judges remember how awful it felt to be limited to time with their fathers on alternating weekends and holidays. These judges see their own adult divorce children no longer treated as co-equal parents and instead being marginalized as “visitors” of their own children. Many of these judges are far more sympathetic to men and fathers than the previous generation of judges are and have been. Not all of the new generation of judges are this way, but many are, and their ranks are growing.

So if you have a judge who is over the age of 60 years, and you are a fit and loving father who wants to be as involved in your children’s lives as you want their mother to be, odds are you have an uphill battle before you. If it becomes clear that your judge is culturally biased and/or discriminates on the basis of sex, you need to expose this on the record, and you need to acquire and present so much evidence showing your parental fitness and that the best interest of the children benefit from joint custody that it leaves the judge no other rational, justifiable choice but to award you (and the kids) joint custody. It can be done, but it’s extraordinarily difficult these days, so be prepared to work very hard (yes, even unfairly hard) for it.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/How-many-states-favor-giving-the-child-to-its-mother-in-a-custody-hearing/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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Should all the kids stay with one parent after a divorce? Why or why not?

I am a divorce and family lawyer. I have been for 23 years. It is impossible to come up with a blanket policy for all children of all parents in all families.

For example, if a divorce were precipitated by one spouse being violent toward the other spouse and his/her children, then clearly the violent parent is not fit to exercise joint custody, and it would be irresponsible of a court to award joint custody for the purpose of “preserving unrestricted parental rights” of someone who is not fit to exercise unrestricted parental rights.

Even when both parents are loving and responsible parents, if they live too far apart to make joint physical custody feasible, that’s another reason why a court would not award them joint physical custody of their children.

But for the overwhelming majority of parents (parents who do not asked to Divorce or want to divorce their children), when fit and loving parents live within a reasonable distance of each other so as to exercise of joint physical custody in a way that not only does the children no harm but does them greater benefit than a sole custody arrangement, there is simply no good reason not to award joint physical custody. It’s not only in the best interest of the children, it’s in the best interest of the family, both individually and collectively. It’s what children of two fit and loving parents want— to have as much contact and influence of both of their parents as possible.

With rare exception, anyone who advocates for the children spending the majority of their time in the custody of one parent over another is usually the parent wanting the children spending the majority of their time in the custody of one parent over another. That alone is reason to be highly skeptical of those who advocate for sole or primary custody arrangements.

Why do so many parents insist on making child custody a zero-sum game when there are two good and loving fit parents who want both parents to exercise as much custody of their children as possible? And why do the majority of courts continue to disfavor and thwart joint custody co-parenting arrangements? I’ll tell you why: administrative expediency. They think it’s easier on them if one parent has primary custody because they think it will reduce the amount of conflict between parents that will come back before the courts for resolution. What’s so perverse is that the opposite is true.

https://www.quora.com/Should-all-the-children-stay-with-the-same-parent-after-a-divorce-Why-or-why-not/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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