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Tag: response

How much should you trust your lawyer? Part 2

This blog is in response to a comment made to a  video entitled How much should you trust your lawyer?

“The biggest problem I’ve encountered with attorneys isn’t legal competence but the “to a hammer, everything looks like a nail” problem. Emotions not motions is often the answer.”

I hear that frequently. And it is a good point, but 1) it means different things to different people and 2) it’s not as good a point an many people (particularly clients of lawyers) think.  

Yes, there are attorneys who stir up trouble and litigate either because they know no other way or because it’s lucrative for them. But there are also attorneys who aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty and do the necessary and difficult work of making the sausage once a dispute is submitted to the court’s for resolution. Many clients find they don’t have the stomach for seeing how the sausage is made. They come to realize they didn’t understand just how difficult, time-consuming, and costly litigation is. Rather than admit that they made a mistake, they will often claim that the lawyers and the legal system are the problem.* 

Many clients want to believe that “if we’d just talk it out, the opposing side and I could work it out.” This is true in some, but not all, cases. If “we can work it out between us ourselves, without involving attorneys and the courts” were true, most people who hire lawyers wouldn’t hire lawyers because they would have no reason and no need to hire lawyers.  

The fact is that many people can’t or won’t resolve their differences voluntarily between them. They take positions that they feel are irreconcilable, and when that happens, one or both of them resorts to litigation. 

Subsequently, the clients who hire lawyers get frustrated (and many times justifiably so) with how needlessly and/or inexplicably expensive, slow/inefficient, and nerve wracking the legal process is. That’s often when the parties on both sides of the dispute suddenly “see the light” and “wonder why” they are engaged in litigation when all they need to do is speak from the heart.  

Experiencing the miseries of litigation often motivates the parties to believe it’s better for them to settle out of court. Somehow they come to see that a dispute that the parties thought was irreconcilable becomes something they can and should quickly and simply compromise.  

*I personally believe that many court procedures and systems are either outright designed or at least administered in such a way as to make the process miserable, so that the parties will settle their case out of court (thus relieving the burden on the legal system). This is wrong, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.  

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

From: https://www.quora.com/How-much-should-you-trust-your-lawyer/answer/Eric-Johnson-311  

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How does being a child of divorce change the way you approach marriage?

I saw something on Facebook recently that is applicable here. Two brothers had followed divergent paths into adulthood. One was a lonely alcoholic bum. The other was a successful and respected family man. When asked how he came to his current circumstances, each had the same answer: because my dad was an alcoholic. 

As bitter a pill as it is to swallow, it is no less true: how we respond to adversity determines our trajectory. 

That stated, most children of divorce are at greater risk of fearing commitment, of engaging in risky and shallow personal relationships as adults, of perceiving marriage as a cause of great personal suffering, and concluding that the odds of a meaningful and worthwhile marriage are slim. 

But that’s the fault of the people who let their parents’ divorce sour them on marriage. Be honest with yourselves. Marriage is in the problem. It’s one or two dysfunctional people engaging in dysfunctional behavior in a marriage who is/are the problem. 

Some people see their parents’ marriage come to a bitter and disappointing and and vow that their marriage will not suffer the same fate. I fully realize that no one can ensure that his or her spouse will not file for divorce against him or her. But fearing failure of marriage is no reason to deny yourself the blessings of marriage. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. 

Men and women are meant to be together in a marital relationship. A doesn’t mean that marriage is easy, but we can’t reach our full potential without marriage and family as part of our lives’ work and experience. Plenty of people fail to reach their potential because they fear failure. It’s understandable, but it’s equally understandable as to where the blame lies for this kind of failure. 

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

https://www.quora.com/How-does-being-a-child-of-divorce-change-the-way-you-approach-marriage/answer/Eric-Johnson-311  

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How can I find my spouse’s response to my divorce petition?

How can I find my spouse’s response to my divorce petition?

You should have received a copy at the same time when she filed her response with the court.

She or her attorney (if she is represented by an attorney) should have provided you (or your attorney, if you have an attorney representing you) with a complete copy of her response (“served simply means that she gave you a copy of her response), either by having someone (including herself) hand you a copy or with a copy or having her attorney (if she has one) give or mail (or email, if your jurisdiction allows for that) a copy. She is required to do that.

If she filed her response with the court but did not serve you, MAKE SURE YOU NOTIFY THE COURT of this fact, so that it is noted in the court’s record.

If she filed her response with the court but did not serve you, either go to the courthouse and request a copy (you will likely have to pay the costs of photocopying) IF THE COURTHOUSE IS STILL OPEN IN THE AGE OF COVID-19.

If the courthouse is closed due to COVID-19, the courthouse will likely have a policy of sending you a copy by mail or fax or email if you call or email the court clerk to request a copy. If you don’t know how to find the courthouse or it’s telephone number or e-mail address, ask a local attorney how to get in contact. You should have little trouble finding one who is happy to do you that courtesy (so if at first you do not succeed, try a few times until you find the kind attorney).

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-find-my-spouses-response-to-my-divorce-petition/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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