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Tag: restraining order

Mother Made False Accusations Against a Father to Win Custody and Had a Restraining Order Put in Place With No Evidence to Back Her Reason, Can This Be Overturned?

Can it be overturned? It is possible.

Will it be overturned? The odds don’t favor Dad. While some fathers who are falsely accused do obtain vindication, the odds are against them. Why?

There is an undeniable bias in favor of mothers who claim to be victims of abuse or who claim that their husbands/children’s father is abusive. Courts err on the side of caution, take a “better safe than sorry” approach. There are many reasons for this, including but not necessarily limited to: beliefs that women don’t lie about abuse, belief that children are generally better off in the sole or primary custody of their mothers, and cynically calculating that it’s better for the judge’s career to issue protective orders against men who are either innocent or there is a question of their innocence than it is to “take the chance” on innocent until proven guilty. When court’s engage in such behavior, it’s lazy, it’s cowardly, it’s judicial malfeasance.

How can/does a falsely accused parent (father or mother, for that matter) clear his/her good name? Short of the kinds of things one cannot control (i.e., suddenly getting a new, sympathetic judge because the old judge retired or got sick, etc.), the most effective way is: presenting the court with evidence so overwhelming that the court cannot deny it, cannot disregard it without looking biased and/or incompetent. Easier said than done, and not always possible, but it’s really the only moral option.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/Mother-made-false-accusations-against-a-father-to-win-custody-and-had-a-restraining-order-put-in-place-with-no-evidence-to-back-her-reason-can-this-be-overturned/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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What happens to a restraining order respondent who misses the hearing?

What happens if you’re a restraining order respondent and you miss the hearing?

There are a few possibilities, and I will address them in the order of what I think would be most likely to occur if A) the restraining order can legally and lawfully be extended; B) the request to extend the restraining order was properly made in compliance with the applicable laws and rules; C) you received proper notice of the hearing; D) you did not appear at your hearing; and E) you are unable to prove that your absence was due to circumstances utterly beyond your control: 

  • the request to extend the restraining order would be granted; or 
  • the court may (but likely won’t) continue the hearing to a later date to give you a second chance to appear; 
  • if you are ordered to appear at the hearing and don’t appear, that could constitute contempt of court, which would Authorize the court to issue a warrant for your arrest to compel you to appear at the hearing (After it is rescheduled to a later date). I’ve never seen a court issue a warrant to compel someone to appear at a hearing for a restraining order or to renew or extend a restraining order because it’s easier for the court simply to renew and extend the protective order than to go to the trouble of having a warrant issued to track you down and compel you to appear in court. And the court can easily justify the decision to extend the protective order due to your failure to appear: 1) you didn’t appear to challenge the request, so one can infer that you have no objection the request; and 2) if you don’t appear in court to defend yourself and/or make objections to the request, then you’ve forfeited that opportunity, and you can’t be surprised if and when the court grants the request. 

I am amazed at the number of people who believe missing hearings is no big deal. If I were ordered or directed to appear in court for a hearing that could have as profound an effect upon me as a restraining order, wild horses couldn’t drag me away from appearing in court, and not just on time, but appearing a few minutes early, to ensure that nothing happened or happened to me in my absence. For two reasons: 

  • A restraining order can have dire effects on your rights to free association and travel and other rights. You want to ensure that you defend those rights to the extent that the state has no valid basis to infringe and interfere with them. 
  • If the restraining order is not only extended but also modified or amended in ways you’re not aware of (because you weren’t there to hear about it), you could innocently find yourself violating the modified/amended order but still being sanctioned or even criminally prosecuted for doing so. You wouldn’t be able to use ignorance of the law (or in this case ignorance of the court’s orders provisions) as a defense.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

https://www.quora.com/In-Indiana-what-happens-if-you-re-the-respondent-in-a-restraining-order-hearing-and-you-miss-it-Just-the-hearing-to-extend-it-or-not/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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Does the respondent get a copy of a restraining order?

Yes, the respondent gets one, as long as the respondent can be found so that he/she can be handed, mailed, or electronically provided with a copy. Indeed, if a respondent is not provided with a copy of the restraining order (or not deemed to have been served with a copy), it can be argued that the restraining order cannot be enforced against the respondent, or at least that the respondent cannot be punished for not complying with an order of which he/she had no notice. However, remember that there are two kinds of “notice”. Actual notice and constructive notice. With constructive notice, it is possible to be “deemed” to be on notice without having any personal possession or knowledge of the notice. 

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277  

Constructive notice legal definition of constructive notice (thefreedictionary.com) 

Actual Notice legal definition of Actual Notice (thefreedictionary.com) 

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When a restraining order expires, is there some documentation that the respondent can get to prove the expiration?

In Utah, the answer to your question would be: Yes, in the form of the restraining order itself. The restraining order itself states that “[t]he order shall expire by its terms within such time after entry, not to exceed 14 days, as the court fixes, unless within the time so fixed the order, for good cause shown, is extended for a like period or unless the party against whom the order is directed consents that it may be extended for a longer period. (Utah Rules of Civil Procedure Rule 65A(b)(2)).

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Are there laws that protect one parent from being a victim of the other parent’s continuous reporting, through the other parent’s attorney, about violations of a restraining order that are all lies?

Are there laws that protect one parent from being a victim of the other parent’s continuous reporting, through the other parent’s attorney, about violations of a restraining order that are all lies?

Are there laws that protect one parent from being a victim of the other parent’s continuous reporting, through the other parent’s attorney, about violations of a restraining order that are all lies?

Practically speaking (and in my experience), yes and no.

I’ll start with the “no” part of my answer because it’s short. I say “no” because although there are rules against frivolous, bad-faith litigation (such as litigation based on lies), these rules are shamefully under-enforced. So even if you can make a clear case for an opposing party engaging in frivolous, bad-faith litigation, in my experience courts rarely punish such behavior. It’s one of the main reasons people lose faith in the legal system when they find themselves subject to the system.

The best way to protect yourself from having a court believe the opposing party’s lies is to prove them false by objective, independently verifiable evidence that cannot be denied. So, document your words and deeds six ways from Sunday. If it’s not a close call, the opposing side’s efforts to cheat won’t make any difference.

And here’s my “yes” part of the answer: Most jurisdictions, including the jurisdiction in which I practice law (Utah), have a rule or rules that is intended to prevent frivolous litigation. One such rule in Utah is the Utah Rules of Civil Procedure rule 11 (which is almost identical to the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure rule 11). Utah’s rule 11 provides:

(b) Representations to court. By presenting a pleading, written motion, or other paper to the court (whether by signing, filing, submitting, or advocating), an attorney or unrepresented party is certifying that to the best of the person’s knowledge, information, and belief, formed after an inquiry reasonable under the circumstances,

(b)(1) it is not being presented for any improper purpose, such as to harass or to cause unnecessary delay or needless increase in the cost of litigation;

(b)(2) the claims, defenses, and other legal contentions are warranted by existing law or by a nonfrivolous argument for the extension, modification, or reversal of existing law or the establishment of new law;

(b)(3) the allegations and other factual contentions have evidentiary support or, if specifically so identified, are likely to have evidentiary support after a reasonable opportunity for further investigation or discovery; and

(b)(4) the denials of factual contentions are warranted on the evidence or, if specifically so identified, are reasonably based on a lack of information or belief.

(c) Sanctions. If, after notice and a reasonable opportunity to respond, the court determines that paragraph (b) has been violated, the court may, subject to the conditions stated below, impose an appropriate sanction upon the attorneys, law firms, or parties that have violated paragraph (b) or are responsible for the violation.

There are also laws against making frivolous and bad-faith claims. Utah’s law is:

78B-5-825. Attorney fees — Award where action or defense in bad faith — Exceptions.

(1) In civil actions, the court shall award reasonable attorney fees to a prevailing party if the court determines that the action or defense to the action was without merit and not brought or asserted in good faith, except under Subsection (2).

(2) The court, in its discretion, may award no fees or limited fees against a party under Subsection (1), but only if the court:

(a) finds the party has filed an affidavit of impecuniosity in the action before the court; or

(b) the court enters in the record the reason for not awarding fees under the provisions of Subsection (1).

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/Are-there-laws-that-protect-one-parent-from-being-a-victim-of-the-other-parents-continuous-reporting-through-the-other-parents-attorney-about-violations-of-a-restraining-order-that-are-all-lies/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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My parents filed an order of protection against me. Is there any way I can fight this at age 17 knowing that I’ve done no wrong?

My parents filed an order of protection against me. Is there any way I can fight this at age 17 knowing that I’ve done no wrong?

Your experience may be different, but welcome to what may be an experience that causes you to lose faith in the legal system. You are significantly at your parents’ and the system’s mercy.

The likely first strike against you: given your age, you can be treated much like an adult when it comes to penalties yet denied the freedom to present your case as you wish because of your status as a minor child.

The second strike against you: courts generally do not like hearing from children in almost any law suit and go out of there way to curtail their participation. Now in fairness, in may instances this is intended to protect children and in many instances it does have that effect. In other instances, however, it serves to do nothing but muzzle a child, denying him/her the full capacity to defend himself/herself or express his/her concerns, fears, and desires. The testimony and/or arguments of children, merely on the basis of their being children, are often dismissed as not competent or credible witnesses.

The third strike is that you’re a wild, scary 17-year-old child, boiling with hormones and irresponsibility, which makes it very easy 1) not to be taken seriously; and 2) to be on the receiving end of prejudice, especially when your parents accuse you of being a danger to them.

Bottom line: to say, “Trying to go it alone as a child in court is difficult” is a ridiculously glaring understatement. The unquestionably best thing you can do for yourself is to get a skilled lawyer of your choice, if you can, to defend you within the legal system and to protect you from the vagaries of the legal system. Nothing else will 1) do you and your case more good and 2) better improve your odds of being treated fairly.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/My-parents-filed-an-order-of-protection-against-me-Is-there-any-way-I-can-fight-this-at-age-17-knowing-that-I-ve-done-no-wrong/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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Does a Restraining Order Prevent Me from Communicating with the School?

Does a Restraining Order Prevent Me from Communicating with the School?

If a school age child has a restraining order against a parent prohibiting him from coming within a certain distance from the school, can they still call the school to inquire about the child if the order is silent on it?

If I were a judge and asked to analyze and answer such a question (I am a Utah divorce and family lawyer and have been in practice for 24 years), I would do so this way:

1. Does the restraining order contain any clear, express provisions prohibiting the restrained parent from calling or otherwise communicating with the school to inquire about the child?

2. If the answer is “no,” then I would read the entire order to determine whether in the prohibition against the parent restrained from coming onto school grounds there was any clear contextual intent to bar the restrained parent from calling or otherwise communicating with the school to inquire about the child. It would, in my mind, have to be extremely clear/highly suggestive that the intent was to prevent calling or otherwise communicating with the school to inquire about the child before I would even consider construing the “prohibited from coming within a certain distance from the school” to mean “restrained from calling or otherwise communicating with the school to inquire about the child.”

3. It is extremely likely that if I were the judge construing the order, I would not try to stretch it to cover things not expressly articulated in the order itself. In my legal opinion, “prohibited from coming within a certain distance from the school” does not come anywhere close to meaning “restrained from calling or otherwise communicating with the school to inquire about the child.” I believe most judges would hold the same opinion.

4. All that stated, if you find yourself in this kind of situation, don’t be surprised if you have a judge who does construe “prohibited from coming within a certain distance from the school” to mean also “restrained from calling or otherwise communicating with the school to inquire about the child.” Why? Because in my experience and opinion, there are certain judges who will indulge in this kind of expansive construction and interpretation not because they actually believe what they are doing is correct, but because they reckon that by construing the order to be as restrictive and limiting for you as possible, they will prevent you from doing anything that could possibly cause the child or the child’s other parent from calling the police and/or coming back to court to complain about you. Thus, you and the case coming back in front of the court to be dealt with in the future is avoided. It’s a labor-saving device, not a correct legal construction principle.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Can I get a restraining order against a couple?

Can I get a restraining order against a couple?

In a sense, no (but you can still obtain a restraining order against both people).

A “couple” would not be something against which you can get restraining or protective order, but if both members of a couple individually commit the acts that would entitle you to restraining order, protective order, or stalking injunction, then you would apply for the order against each member of the couple because you want and need protection from both of them.

Let’s say that one spouse of a married couple is assaulting you, or attempting to assault you, or threatening to assault you. And let’s say that there is no question that the other spouse in the couple has done nothing wrong (isn’t even aware of what his/her spouse is doing wrong). In that scenario, there would be no basis for seeking a restraining order against both people. But if both of them are causing, attempting, or threatening harm, then you could certainly seek a restraining or protective order or stalking injunction against them both.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/Can-I-get-a-restraining-order-against-a-couple/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

 

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Unique challenges for men and women face in divorce and child custody

The unique challenges men and women face in divorce and child custody cases

What follows is my opinion, but my honest and sincere opinion born of experience over the past 23 years in the practice of divorce and family law. It is an educated opinion that nevertheless may, and likely will,  lead to my being disparaged and to me making some enemies, but if we don’t exercise the precious right of free speech by letting the heckler’s veto silence any of us, we have no one to blame but ourselves. And we all lose.

Men and Women, women and men can encounter—and more often than not do encounter—unique challenges in divorce and child custody cases. Some lawyers and judges and others in the legal system deny that there are cultural biases or prejudices ever affecting treatment of men and women, but that is just not true.

Mothers are awarded sole or primary custody of children in the overwhelming majority of cases, no matter how hard a father has worked and striven to prove he can make joint custody work.

Mothers are awarded sole or primary custody of children in the overwhelming majority of cases, even when the mother is less fit (I am not saying unfit, just less fit) than the father.

This is an undeniable bias against men, seeing and treating them, falsely and unfairly, as second-class parents.

Interestingly, it does not matter whether your judge is a man or a woman, the bias is cultural and institutional.

I will note that this bias is weaker now that it was in the past, and it is getting weaker, yet it is still surprisingly strong against men.

Another bias: modern women have a lot to say about being just as qualified as men are to do the same work and thus be paid the same amount of money, so the cognitive dissonance is unavoidable in a divorce case when the subject of alimony arises. These same strong independent women are the most helpless creatures in the world when it comes to claiming a desperate need for alimony, and quite often the courts buy it. Do not misunderstand me. There are clearly many women and even some men who are, through no fault of their own, financially dependent upon their spouses and who are clearly deserving of alimony and spousal support post-divorce. But men get the short end of the stick when it comes to alimony far more often than do women. While this bias is waning, it is still present and still undeniable.

Interestingly, it does not matter whether your judge is a man or a woman, the bias is cultural and institutional.

I will note that this bias is weaker now that it was in the past, and it is getting weaker, yet it is still surprisingly strong against men.

Another bias against men is revealed in the realm of domestic violence and the way the law treats it. If a man seeks police help or protection from a violent wife or girlfriend, he is often laughed at or humiliated for failing to man up and defend himself. If such a man is fool enough to take that kind of advice, he will find himself the one arrested for committing domestic violence. I have witnessed personally situations where the man is bloodied and bruised, and the wife complains that he pushed her down while she was beating him, and the police will arrest the man for “assaulting” the woman.

Courts are far more willing to believe claims of domestic violence made by wives and mothers against the men in their lives. This is not a matter of opinion; this is a matter of fact. Anyone can confirm this to be true by simply attending the protective order and restraining order and civil stalking injunction court hearings that are open to the public. While I will be the first to acknowledge that there are clearly genuine incidents of domestic violence that are reported and for which protective orders are issued, you can witness for yourself protective and restraining orders issued on literally nothing but one’s word over another’s. No objectively verifiable evidence to support the claims at all. And yet the protective orders and restraining orders get issued, nonetheless. And who gets these orders at least 9 out of 10 times? It is women. That does not square with that the statistics kept by law enforcement, which shows that wives and girlfriends are more violent towards men than 10% of the time.

I will note that this bias is weaker now that it was in the past, and it is getting weaker, yet it is still surprisingly strong against men.

What does this mean? It means that men often have to win the child custody, alimony, and domestic violence disputes six ways from Sunday. They generally need far, far more and far better evidence than the women to get the same things women get with less and lower-quality evidence.

So, guys, if your marriage is crumbling, and you happen to be married to a woman who is vindictive and or crazy, keep the foregoing in mind. And take the necessary steps to protect yourself. One of the ways that crazy vindictive women take advantage of men in divorce and child custody cases is accusing them of domestic violence as a cheap and incredibly rapid way to remove the man from the house and to keep him out. As I alluded to earlier, one of the most common ways this is done is by the woman calling the police claiming that the man has assaulted her, attempted to assault her, or threatened to assault her. Sometimes all they have to do is make no claims of assault, attempted assault, or threatened assault and merely claim that they “don’t feel safe around” the man they live with, without even providing any plausible basis for such an ostensible “fear”. To protect yourself from being arrested and forcibly removed from your house, from false allegations of domestic violence, and fraudulently sought protective orders, and character assassination, you may find the following the difference between defeat and victory:

First, unless your safety or life is truly in jeopardy by remaining in the same house with your vindictive and/or crazy wife or girlfriend, do not move out of the house. If you do, your vindictive and/or crazy wife or girlfriend will claim that you abandoned her and the children, as well as the house itself, meaning that you should be forever barred from living there, even though it’s your house, even if you can show the court that you have nowhere else you can go. After all, so the thinking goes, you abandoned the family and you abandoned the house, so you should be forever barred. Do not move out if you don’t have to.

Second, if your house is the kind that has a distinct upstairs and downstairs, move downstairs. Then put it in writing to your spouse and get it on audio and video too, if you can, showing that your vindictive and/or crazy wife or girlfriend is clearly on notice that you are trying to stay away from her for the purpose of maintaining the peace and protecting yourself. That way if she tries to claim that she does not understand why you have done what you have done, you have clear proof as to why and proof that she knew why.

Notify your crazy and/or vindictive wife or girlfriend that you will be placing locks on closets in the downstairs to protect your property from theft or vandalism by her. Do not lock her out of the basement itself, but do point out that you will have the downstairs wired for sound and video, so that if she ever goes down there with the purpose of robbing you or vandalizing your living quarters or property, she will be undeniably caught.

In your written and video recorded notices to your crazy and/or vindictive wife or girlfriend also inform her that you are placing cameras and microphones everywhere throughout the basement in every room and every space to ensure that your movements and hers in the basement are tracked. Tell her she has no expectation of privacy anywhere in the basement. Post it in writing on the basement door and on the wall on the stairs leading downstairs. Post it on the bathroom door. Inform her that you have taken both photographic and video footage of the cameras and microphones and the written notices, so that if she tries to claim you violated her privacy downstairs, or if she tries to remove or damage them, there will be no way she can remove them at least one camera and microphone capturing her misconduct and making a record of it. You may even want to go so far as to buy one of those wearable cameras and microphone combinations on your person at all times when you are in the house with your crazy and/or vindictive wife or girlfriend, so that they don’t get any ideas about trying to pick fights and frame you for a fraudulent claim of domestic violence.

Again, this may seem extreme and over-the-top, but I have seen what happens to men who fail to protect themselves adequately. I’ve also seen men avoid being so much as charged with a crime, let alone convicted, because they — as soon as they got an inkling that their wives or girlfriends might be up to no good — took steps to document and secure and protect themselves.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

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Can Being in a Zoom or WebEx Meeting Violate a Restraining Order?

Can Being in a Zoom or WebEx Meeting Violate a Restraining Order?

What’s going to happen if I have a restraining order and I get on Zoom to make a meeting or a call and that person that I have the restraining order against is in the Zoom meeting?

It depends upon what the terms of the restraining or protective order are.

If you have a restraining order that prohibits someone from communicating with you, then if that person participates in a Zoom conference in which that person communicates with you that would constitute a violation of the restraining/protective order.

The trickier question is whether it would constitute a violation of the restraining/protective order for that person to participate in a Zoom call in which there are dozens of participants and the person against whom you have the restraining/protective order clearly is attending the meeting in good faith and for any malicious purpose, is ignorant of the fact your are among the other attendees, and then communicates with the group (not with you specifically). I had this very situation arise and, thankfully, the judge agreed that because my client and I proved that he 1) was a legitimate invitee to the group meeting, 2) did not know the woman who had the restraining order against him was in the group meeting too, and 3) that his communication was with the group (not with the woman with the order specifically), that did not constitute a violation of the prohibition against communication.

If you have a restraining order that does not prohibit communication but only prohibits someone from being within a certain distance of you (say 100 yards), then if that person participates, from another city or state, in a Zoom conference with you that would not constitute a violation of the restraining/protective order.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/Whats-going-to-happen-if-I-have-a-restraining-order-and-I-get-on-Zoom-to-make-a-meeting-or-a-call-and-that-person-that-I-have-the-restraining-order-against-is-in-the-Zoom-meeting/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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If someone obtains a restraining order against me, can I obtain one against him/her?

If someone put a restraining order on you only because they thought you were going to put one on them and they are the one who is stalking and harassing you, can you put one on them before anything is decided by the judge?

This happens a lot, i.e., the real perp accuses you of the very things he/she is doing and on that basis “preemptively” requests a restraining order or protective order or stalking injunction (whatever options that particular jurisdiction allows) against you before you can seek one against him/her.

Some jurisdictions, however, do not bar you from seeking some kind of protective order against such a perp, even if he/she obtained one against you first. Utah is such a jurisdiction. Consult a knowledgeable attorney in your jurisdiction to find out what options you may have.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/If-someone-put-a-restraining-order-on-you-only-because-they-thought-you-were-going-to-put-one-on-them-and-they-are-the-one-who-is-stalking-and-harassing-you-can-you-put-one-on-them-days-before-anything-is-decided-by/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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Can I get a restraining order against a person living in the same house?

Can one get a restraining order against a person living in the same house as me?

Sure. There’s no requirement that the petitioner and respondent in a restraining order matter reside separately as a condition to obtaining a restraining order or protective order, although it is common for for a petitioner who is currently residing with the respondent (or who recently resided with, but then fled) to escape the danger posed by the respondent) to ask that the restraining order or protective order eject the respondent from the marital or shared residence as a means of ensuring that one is protected.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/Can-a-person-get-a-restraining-order-on-a-person-in-the-same-house/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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To whom do you turn to when the police won’t protect you from your ex?

I am a domestic relations attorney. With this in mind, and if you are convinced that you don’t have enough evidence to obtain a restraining order, my answer to your question is:

You move.

Easier said than done, I know, but it’s still easier (and less discouraging, futile, and frustrating) than trying to force law enforcement officers to help you.

Even if you obtained a court order (ooooooh, a court order!) that “compelled” law enforcement officers to help you, chances are that the court would not enforce the order, if the law enforcement officers to whom it is directed refuse to help you.* Then factor in the time and effort (and money, if you hire an attorney to help you obtain the order) that goes in to seeking such an order, and it makes more sense to invest that time, effort, and money into doing something that works, something that has a much higher potential for success (if by “success” you mean getting away from your stalker/harasser/tormentor to safety and peace).

*Of course, this kind of law enforcement officer is too smart to blatantly refuse to help you. Instead, you’ll get the bureaucratic/administrative run around and the cops will play dumb (“this is a civil matter, ma’am”), so that they maintain plausible deniability. If that doesn’t work, they’ll threaten to arrest you (“disorderly conduct” and “disturbing the peace” are popular threats, as is “false report”) if you try to insist upon them enforcing your order.

Frequently, the best course of action is not to seek vindication through the legal system, but to extricate yourself from it. No, I am clearly not urging to violate the law, I am showing you that the legal system often disappoints. So if you can help yourself better than the legal system can help you (without being an outlaw, of course), then help yourself.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/Who-do-you-turn-to-when-the-police-wont-protect-you-from-your-ex-I-dont-have-enough-evidence-for-a-restraining-order-and-he-is-threatening-me-all-the-time-I-feel-like-all-I-can-do-is-move-house-Do-you-have-any/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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Can I get a restraining order against my abusive ex if we both use public transportation?

Do you mean to ask: “Can I get a restraining order against my abusive ex that prevents him/her from using the same public transportation as I do?”

If so, the answer is: probably not. Unless you can show that whenever your ex knows where you are, your ex abuses, attempts to abuse, or threatens to abuse you, the court would almost certainly not take such extreme measures.

Protecting you from legitimate and serious risks of abuse is one thing, but preventing your ex from using public transportation—assuming your ex needs to use public transportation to get to school, and/or work and/or , and/or the grocery store, and/or the doctor, etc.—would be overreaching. Instead, the court could still issue you a restraining order against your ex, but on a limited basis, i.e., not barring your ex from the same bus or train, but ordering your ex to avoid eye contact with you, not to speak to or gesture at you, not to sit next to you, and to move as far as possible to the back of the bus/train, for example.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/Can-I-get-a-restraining-order-against-my-abusive-ex-if-we-both-use-public-transportation/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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Overcome Prejudice from a Bogus Restraining Order in Divorce

How can you win child custody during a divorce if your spouse puts a restraining order against you, based solely on verbal testimony and not pertaining to the children themselves?

1. The odds are against you, even if you are innocent. It doesn’t matter if you are innocent if the court believes the false allegations against you (and you’d be amazed how willing courts are to believe a good (even a bad) sob story, especially one coming from a woman against a man).

a. If the court believes the false allegations against you, despite the preponderance of evidence against those false allegations, you may have the option of filing an appeal, but most people don’t appeal because the odds are against you winning on appeal, and appeals are too costly and discouraging for most people.

2. The best way I know to get a wrongfully issued restraining order dismissed or reversed is to prove that it was wrongfully issued. And how do you do that?

a. By providing—as early in the process as possible—evidence to the court that:

i. that you have an alibi;

ii. your spouse is lying;

iii. that your history and good character simply make your spouse’s claims unbelievable.

b. by getting a lawyer (and cooperating fully with that lawyer) who knows the legal system and how to work it (ethically) to your advantage.

c. You will surely be tempted to fight fire with fire and resort to lying and cheating to be vindicated. Don’t. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and if that’s not reason enough for you, lying and cheating in your defense usually backfire. If you have children, getting down into the muck will do them irreparable damage.

3. The next best way to get rid of a restraining order: be penitent (even if you’re not guilty). This is a hard pill to swallow (as well it should be), but it may be your only viable option, if you value getting rid of the protective order over your pride. Don’t get me wrong: it’s unfair for innocent people to have to grovel and suffer the indignity, and many may interpret your groveling as an “admission” of guilt, but it may be the only way out. So what might this entail?:

a. jump—cheerfully and timely—through all the hoops the court sets in your path toward getting the restraining order lifted;

b. go to counseling or therapy and complete courses and read books (and report on reading them) that teach “parenting skills” and “anger management” and “conflict resolution”;

c. go to church. You should do this anyway. A good church does wonders for cheering you up and encouraging you and showing you how to be a better person (no matter how great you may be already), but if the only reason you go is to show the court that you’re a “changed man/woman,” so be it.

4. Even in the face of this injustice, count your many, many other blessings. Don’t let evil win by losing hope. Keep the faith. If you are going through hell, keep going. Lean on your friends and loved ones for support.

Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277

https://www.quora.com/How-can-you-win-child-custody-during-a-divorce-if-your-spouse-puts-a-restraining-order-against-you-based-solely-on-verbal-testimony-and-not-pertaining-to-the-children-themselves/answer/Eric-Johnson-311

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