Would you divorce your spouse if he/she had a child before marriage without telling you?
Would you divorce your husband if he had a child with his last relationship without telling you?
I do not believe that this would, alone, be reason to divorce your husband. He may be a good man who was a scared, confused kid back when he kept this from you. He may have matured since then. He may just have not known how to level with you (or perhaps wondered—albeit wrongly—whether he should). If he has come to regret keeping you in the dark, if you believe that, and if he has come clean and promised that there are no other skeletons in his closet, he may be a better man for it. It may well be that he is “worth” forgiving and not worth breaking up a marriage/family over it.
If discovering his illegitimate child is just the latest in a series of embarrassing/concerning facts that further reveal and confirm him as a) someone you did not believe him to be and b) as someone who cannot be trusted to deal with you honestly, then this latest disclosure may the proverbial straw that breaks the camels back. You may be more than justified in divorcing him; not because he has a child, but because he keeps secrets from you, because you simply cannot take further risks of being deceived such that you and/or your family will be victimized as a result.
Utah Family Law, LC | divorceutah.com | 801-466-9277
Tags: adulterous affair, adultery, bastard child, concerning, confused kid, deceived, divorce, embarrassing, family, forgiving, illegitimate child, infidelity, justified, love child, matured regret skeletons in the closet, risks, scared, secrets, spouse, straw that broke the camel’s back, victimized